by Kadin, Karri
“Don’t let me be like them.”
“What?”
He sat up, held her face between his hands, and pressed his blazing forehead to hers. “If I turn into one of those people who attacks anyone who comes near them, kill me. Don’t let me be like them.”
Tears flowed down her face, and her entire body shook. She tried to form words, but only sobs escaped her lips. She vigorously shook her head no. But he only held her face tighter, forcing her to look at him.
“Yes. Veronica, listen to me. I would be a danger to everyone, including you. I don’t want to hurt you.” She broke free from his grasp.
Veronica jumped from the bed and ran sobbing down the hall. The idea of living without Alejandro was hard enough. She couldn’t kill him. She wouldn’t kill him. No matter what, she wouldn’t do that. Alejandro slowly followed her, leaning against the wall for support.
“Veronica.”
“¡Jamás! I will not. Do you hear me? Will not!” Veronica leaned against the counter for support as her body shook. She looked out the kitchen window and gasped.
She blinked frantically, clearing her eyes of the tears and looked again. Multiple families on her street were packing up their cars, filling them to the brim. Alejandro came to her side and stared out the window. His breathing was wet and labored. He leaned on the wall as he struggled to catch his breath.
Veronica pulled a chair over to him, and he sat in it without argument. She held his hand as they watched many of their neighbors pack up and drive away. Alejandro pointed to the yard next to them.
“They left Timber.”
“The dog?” Veronica asked. Alejandro nodded.
“I can’t believe they left him. We should go get him so he doesn’t starve to death.”
“You have got to be kidding me! The world is going to hell. You could be dying.” Veronica's voice trembled. “Actually dying. But you worry about a fucking perrito? The world is ending. It is not the time to worry about others. We need to worry about us.”
“Well, you’ve always been good at that. So, I’d say you’ve had enough practice for the both of us.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Veronica let go of his hand.
“Exactly what I said. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” He clutched her hand again. “I love you despite your flaws. I am not oblivious to them.”
“Go to hell!” She jerked away from him.
“I think we are already there.” He reached for her yet again, and that’s when she saw it. The black veins across the top of his hand like a spider’s web snaring its prey. She felt her heart shatter, her breath caught in her chest, tangled in the shards.
“Alejandro. Look.” He looked down at his hand, acceptance in his eyes.
“Well, it’s definitely not just a cold.”
Veronica tended to Alejandro as he lay on the couch. He was so weak he could not make it back to their bedroom the night before. She had spent the night on the ground beside him, wide awake with only her worries to keep her company. Fear consumed her and the thought that she wouldn’t be there when he needed her almost sent her into a panic. Veronica filled her night with periodic skin checks that always found the advance of the telling black veins. She cried a little every time as she watched his beautiful skin become marred with death. Sometimes the rattle from his chest would sound like a growl, twisting Veronica’s stomach into a tight knot of terror and guilt.
His breathing worsened overnight. Veronica could have slapped herself for not having prepared better for this when the first cases of the virus had popped up. She really hadn’t thought it would make it to her little town. She should have swiped a nebulizer and some breathing treatments from work. But it was too late for that now. The hospital had called her multiple times since yesterday. Her manager had left multiple messages ranging from threatening to begging Veronica to come to work. She ignored them all. Nothing would take her away from Alejandro when he needed her most. Even if he turned into one of those things.
She had the TV on in the background but had stopped listening after 2 a.m. It was all the same. No cure. Rioting. The virus was spreading. More and more people dying. A rapid rise of infected people whom the virus had turned into something more animal than human. Still no one had recovered and the death rate was at 90%. The other 10% turned into monsters. No one was immune, everyone was at risk. She couldn’t take any more bad news. Veronica pulled the last bottle of water from the fridge and set it aside for Alejandro. She turned on the sink and water sputtered out. She popped her antibiotic in her mouth before leaning down and taking a long drink straight from the faucet. Manners were irrelevant during an apocalypse.
Alejandro stirred on the couch. Veronica muted the TV. His breathing, irregular and strained. Veronica sat next to him. The black veins had spread further up his arms. She pulled up his pants legs, and they were there too. She grasped his hands.
“Oh, Mi Vida. What can I get you?” His eyes opened. The whites were bloodshot and his pupils contracted.
“Water. Just a little water.”
Veronica put the bottle to his lips, but every attempt to swallow brought on a coughing fit. After a few tries, he pushed the bottle away. A faint barking sounded outside.
“Is that Timber?”
“I don’t know. But don’t worry about that right now.”
“You need to leave. Take him with you.”
“We can’t. We have to wait until you feel better.”
“I didn’t say we, Mi Amada. I said you. I’m dying. We both know that now.”
“No. You can get through this.”
“No one gets through this. Go. Find a place in the mountains, the Blue Line. Go there.”
“We are going to go there together. After you feel better. We can stand right on the Blue Line and be in Georgia and Tennessee at once. Just like you’ve been begging me to do for the last two years.” Alejandro sighed, and Veronica held his face between her hands. “We are out of food. I’m going to go gather some supplies from houses of the neighbors that left. I figure that’s safer than trying to go to a store.” He nodded. Veronica kissed his forehead.
“I’ll be back soon, Mi Vida.”
“Si, Mi Amada. See you soon.” Alejandro closed his eyes and was asleep before Veronica slipped out the door.
Veronica went to the little blue house with the stupid fake goose outside that was always dressed to match the season. The names of the older couple that lived there eluded her, but she hadn’t seen them in days. She peeked in all the windows and made sure it was empty before she went to the back door. She turned the knob, and the door opened. Small town life. People actually kept their doors unlocked. Immediately an orange tabby cat bounded up to her, meowing loudly, and rubbed against her leg. She kicked it away. The cat scurried out of sight.
Veronica wandered through the house, digging in drawers and searching all closets. She found a case of water in the garage and a tent. The kitchen was mostly bare, but a few canned goods close to their expiration were in the pantry and a bag of dry cat food. She realized she had forgotten to bring a bag, but thankfully found a rugged-looking backpack in the coat closet. She filled it with the cans and shifted it onto her back. When she bent over to pick up the case of water, she saw the empty cat bowls in a corner of the kitchen.
She picked up the case and walked out onto the back porch. The cat meowed behind her. Veronica sighed and set down her heavy load of supplies. She walked back inside and scooped up the cat bowls. She filled them both with water. The cat lapped it up eagerly. She took a few gigantic bowls from the cabinets and filled them with water too, then placed them on the counter. She opened the pantry and tore open the cat food. The cat ran over and ate the kibble that had spilled out. She made sure the hole in the bag was open wide enough so the cat could get to all the food. Veronica moved back toward the porch and noticed a small pet flap at the bottom backdoor. She opened it before stepping back outside. The cat should be able to come and g
o as he pleased. The house belonged to him now. She picked up her supplies and hurried back toward her house.
When she crossed the yard to the next house, the dog whined and jumped up along the fence. He was huge and black with a white patch on his chest. His head was bigger than hers, in fact, she was sure her head would fit between his jaws. She set the water on her porch and walked to the dog’s former owner’s house. She would not try the back door when that massive dog was there.
“Shut up, dog!” What was its name? She knew Alejandro had told her. Tyson? No. Timber! “Shut up, Timber!”
She tried the front door, but the handle wouldn’t budge. She checked all the windows, minus the ones in the backyard, but everything was locked up tight. A scream cut through the air. Veronica’s skin became a sea of goosebumps. The dog started barking. Another scream. It was close. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end. She edged along the house, staying low to the ground. She peered around the corner and looked down the road. Standing in a yard about ten houses down was a woman. A man stood in front of her, his shoulders heaving up and down and he shook his head like an angry animal.
“Dustin, please. It’s me. Amy, your wife. Don’t do this!” the woman screamed as she backed away. A child ran from the house with a baseball bat in hand. Veronica’s heart trembled uncontrollably against her chest.
“Jacob, get back in the house and lock the door! Now!” Amy commanded.
“Daddy!” Jacob ran to Dustin. “Stop! Don’t hurt Mommy!” He swung the bat, hitting the man squarely in the gut. He let out a roar and grabbed the child by the arm, jerking him from the ground before throwing him against the house. The little body left a bloody smear and a large dent on the white siding. Jacob fell to the ground, unmoving.
Tears rushed to Veronica’s eyes, and she clasped a hand over her mouth to stifle her scream. Amy rushed forward, but Dustin caught her by the neck as she tried to pass him to get to her son. He pulled her by the hair and forced her face to his. He sunk his teeth into her cheek. Veronica fell to her knees. The dog stopped barking and whimpered. Amy screamed like a pig at slaughter. She kicked and swung at Dustin, but nothing slowed him down. Soon she stopped moving and her husband pulled his face away from hers. Her skin hung from his lips, his face covered in dark blood and chunks of flesh. He dropped her to the ground and turned his attention to the street. He started walking down the road in the opposite direction from Veronica. Veronica kept her hand clasped over her mouth, afraid of what would come out if she let go. Once Dustin was out of view, she released her mouth and a scream erupted from her. She lifted herself up on wobbly legs and ran back home.
Once safely in her house, Veronica locked the door and pulled all the curtains shut. She hurried around the house and checked the locks on all the windows twice. Alejandro was still asleep on the couch. Veronica locked herself in the bathroom and cried. She didn’t want Alejandro to wake because of her sobs. She splashed cold water on her face and fought against the growing fear in her gut. Alejandro’s agonizing moan broke the silence in the house. She rushed from the bathroom.
Alejandro was trying to sit up on the couch. Veronica hurried to his side and helped him. She placed her hands on his chest to steady him, and something warm and wet fell on her skin. Red blood speckled her arm. She gasped and Alejandro looked up at her. The whites of his eyes were red with blood. It pooled at the corners and ran down his cheeks.
“You need to call your brother.” His voice was coarse.
“We need to get you help.” She fell to her knees in front of him.
“There is no help for me. But there is for you. Call your brother. He can get you help.” Alejandro squeezed her shoulder.
“He hates me. He will not help me.” Veronica rested her head on his thighs and he ran his hand through her hair.
Suddenly Alejandro’s body convulsed with a coughing fit. Veronica grabbed the tissue box from the end table. Dark mucus and blood spewed from his mouth onto the wads of tissue in Veronica’s hand. She picked up the bottle of water and brought it to his lips, but he pushed it away.
“Marc doesn’t hate you. He’s mad at you because you threw away your relationship with him over a terra-cotta-colored bridesmaid dress.” Alejandro wiped the blood from his mouth using the back of his hand.
“I look awful in terra-cotta! Everyone does! It was selfish of Misty to pick that fucking color.” Veronica threw the dirty tissue onto the coffee table.
“You were the selfish one. It was their day.” The words came out in a pressured whisper before Alejandro fell back onto the couch, struggling to breathe. His eyes rolled back and blood ran like a river down his face.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Veronica held his face between her hands. “I love you. Please, don’t leave me. I don’t want to live without you, Mi Vida.” Alejandro started coughing again, and she rolled him onto his side just as the globs of blood and mucus sprayed from his mouth. He took a deep, rattling breath and rolled himself back onto his back. He opened his eyes, his pupils barely visible under the thick layer of blood. The black veins had extended up his neck now, consuming most of his body. He clasped Veronica’s hands in his, squeezing them tightly.
“Call your brother. He has connections that can help you survive. He loves you. Let down your wall. Let people in. Let them love you and love them back. You can’t go through life burning bridges out of fear of being let down. It has made you selfish, which makes you cruel. You won’t survive alone. And I won’t be here to help pick up the pieces anymore.” Tears streamed down Veronica’s face. Blood flowed from the corners of his mouth now. Alejandro opened his mouth to speak again, but only a gurgling sound came out.
“Shh, Mi Vida. It’s okay. You don’t have to talk anymore. Close your eyes and rest now. I love you. I love you so, so much.”
“Mi Amada…”
“Shh, Alejandro.”
“Call him…” Blood poured from his mouth onto his chest.
“Yes. Si. I will. I’ll call Marc. I’ll apologize. I’ll do it. Rest now. I love you. I won’t leave you. I’m right here.” Alejandro clenched her hands and stared wide eyed in her direction but didn’t focus. A thick stream of red covered his eyes.
“I’m here. I’m here. Shh. It’s time to rest. It’ll be okay. I’ll be just fine. You rest now.”
“Survive….” Bloody bubbles popped at his lips as he exhaled for the last time and his body went limp. His wide-eyed, crimson stare still angled in her direction. Veronica collapsed on his chest. She held fists full of his shirt until her knuckles turned white. Her cheek stuck to the sticky blood that drenched his shirt. Tears clouded her vision, and she clung to his body until her tears ran dry and Alejandro’s body was cold like it had never contained the warmth of his soul at all.
It was pitch black outside when she finally pulled herself from Alejandro’s body. She peeled his shirt from her face, leaving behind a dry bloodstained imprint of the fabric across her cheek. She stretched her legs out in front of her. They had fallen asleep hours ago and she could barely feel them.
Veronica fell back on the floor, staring up at the avocado green ceiling fan slowly spinning above her. She’d hated that fan ever since they moved in. She pulled herself up on wobbly legs and stomped over to the coat closet. Burning rage ignited in her, pleading to escape and unleash all the misery she felt on to the world. She pulled open the door, grabbed the first thing she could that had a handle, a hot pink umbrella, and swung it at the fan. The light bulbs shattered, sending glass shards soaring across the room. Pieces of plastic and wood flew with each blow she landed. When no trace of the fan was left, Veronica fell to the floor, rolling over onto her back, and basked in her defeat of the ceiling fan.
Her phone was in her pocket, digging into her backside. She pulled it out and scrolled through her contact list until she found Asshat. She hit call. Not even one ring. Straight to voicemail.
“Hey, this is Marc Valdes, owner and CEO of Valiant Defense Corp. You know what to do.”
“Hey, Marc. It’s me. Veronica. Alejandro is dead. He’s dead.” Her words caught in her throat and she fought back the pain from saying those words for the first time. “I’m scared. I’m so scared.” Tears rushed down her face and she couldn’t fight the sobs any longer. “I’m so sorry. About the dress and Misty. Everything. I love you. You’re my brother and you need to know that I love you. It’s the end of the fucking world and you need to know that.”
One word rolled around in her head repeatedly until she had to do something about it. Survive. She stood up from the floor and started packing.
Veronica stood at the sink cleaning her wound. The bite was healing nicely and didn’t look infected. Each little tooth mark was deep, but scabbing over. No redness or discharge like the nurse warned her about. All good signs. The antibiotics were working. But they wouldn’t stop the virus from ravaging her body. Antibiotics were useless against N87.
Once her hand was dressed with clean gauze, she took her antibiotic with gross tap water again. At least there was still running water. Who knew how long that would last. She peeked through the window blinds. The sun barely touched the horizon as it fought off the night. The neighborhood was quiet and still. The silence sent a chill down her spine.
She peeled her clothes from her body and searched her skin for black veins. Once she examined every bit of skin and realized there were none; she exhaled the breath she didn’t know she had been holding. She should be showing signs of infection by now. The wait was excruciating. N87 was highly contagious, and she had been in close, intimate contact with two people suffering its effects in the last four days. There was no way she didn’t have it. No way.
Her eyes fell on the white sheet covering Alejandro’s body on the couch. Her heart dropped in her chest as grief rolled through her. She pushed the feeling down, fighting against the urge to give up. He wanted her to survive, to live. Veronica didn’t know what to do with him or if she could even move him herself. She couldn’t throw him out like trash. She couldn’t bury him, even if she could carry him outside to do it with those things roaming the streets. Going outside wasn’t safe, and she would only do it if absolutely necessary.
