by K B Cinder
He chuckled, biting his lip again as he ran a hand through his hair. “I hope he doesn’t make those kinds of memories for a long time. Maybe until he’s married.”
Great, I needed to disinfect every square inch of the room.
“Oh.” I spun on my heel to head downstairs, done with him and the conversation.
He leaned against the wall, in no rush, continuing to eye me. “I haven’t been in here with a beautiful woman in years.”
I ignored him and took the stairs two at a time, toppling into Luke at the bottom, slamming against his back, a blockade of strength stopping me in my tracks.
He turned to face me, smiling. “Jeez, you don’t have to jump me, Joey. Just ask.”
“Not funny, Barrett.”
His eyes skimmed my face. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I lied, pushing away from him once Dan’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. I exploded through the screen door, ready to kick them both out to take a shower, Dan’s words clinging to my skin like wet paint while my body hummed from the contact with Luke.
My heart pounded in my ears, almost drowning out the crash of the waves as I hurried towards the container.
Luke followed close behind, maintaining his distance but not giving an inch for Dan to slip into.
When I stepped into the container's privacy, tears were prickling. I hadn’t spent a weekend in the cottage yet, and I was ready to leave.
Luke reached out and touched my arm, his fingers rough against my flesh. “Hey, I’m serious, Jos. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!”
He put his hand over mine. “Go inside. You have work to do. Leave the rest to us.”
“Yeah, we’ll take care of this,” Dan announced, appearing in the doorway of the container. He took one look at Luke’s hand on mine and reddened almost as much as his stupid polo.
“You sure?” I asked, looking up at Luke. As much as I hated what he’d done in the past, I appreciated him at that moment.
He nodded, and I fled, grateful for Luke Barrett for the first time in years.
Josie
FOURTEEN YEARS EARLIER
Failure. Shame. Disgust.
Mom would die from disappointment.
Dad would disown me.
I’d never see Olivia again.
I’d heard about rock bottom before, a place I’d never seen until Matt Smith shoved me there. But I was just as much to blame, a brat who took advantage of a good life. All I had to do was behave, and I couldn’t even do that.
I had to go to that party. I had to be cool.
I’d brought it on myself.
Dad always told me: trouble only happens when you’re looking for it. I not only looked for it – I ran toward it.
I reached into my pocket and freed the offending box, stuffing it in the flimsy plastic bag, needing it off my body. I’d repay the $10.99 it cost to the pharmacy, but it’d have to wait a week. I’d already spent my allowance on flowers for Mom, her latest test results stealing any bit of hope we had.
I rushed down the sidewalk toward the park, not wasting a second. Dad was asleep, but he might wake up to check our rooms. If my butt weren’t in bed, there’d be hell to pay.
I passed a muscle car parked too close to the curb, its tires brushing the concrete. I didn’t have my permit, but even I knew they shouldn’t.
A shaggy-haired boy sat on its hood smoking a cigarette, his muscled arms exposed by a tattered tank top. Judging by the looks of him, he was likely a junior or senior.
Dad would never let me out so late, weekend or not. I wondered if he snuck out too, though doubtful in a car like that. Those suckers made a heck of a lot of noise in the school parking lot.
As I got closer, I recognized him from school – Luke Barrett, a junior who lived a step away from expulsion but always scored a last-hour lifeline.
“What are you doing out so late, Joey?” he asked.
I flinched, surprised he acknowledged me. Juniors didn’t talk to freshmen. Especially flat-chested freshmen with braces. “Huh?”
“You heard me.” He smirked, drumming a free hand on the hood of his car, each tap louder than the last.
“My name is Josie.” I straightened, rolling my shoulders back. Mom always said if you wanted respect, you had to earn it. Slouching wouldn’t get any.
He shrugged, letting out a cloud of smoke into the night air. “Same difference.”
“No, they’re different,” I muttered, wrinkling my nose at the scent.
A slow smirk appeared as he took a slow drag from his cancer stick. “Not really.”
I rolled my eyes, holding my breath as he released another noxious plume. “Alright, Luka.”
Smoke billowed from his nostrils as he tapped ash into the street. “It’s Luke.”
“Same difference,” I mocked.
I wondered if his family knew he smoked, not that he’d be able to hide it. The smell clung to everything. Dad would flip if he caught me smoking, not that I was tempted to sample poison.
“Got me there,” he admitted. “What is a dainty little thing from Collins Ave doing out so late?”
“Running errands.”
He raised a brow as he sucked in another toxic breath. “The congressman’s daughter? This late?”
I hated it when people called me that. I was more than a political pawn.
I sighed the thought away, flustered he wouldn’t leave me be. “Yeah, this late.”
“What’s in the bag?” he asked.
“Tampons.” I wished that was all I’d been rushing out to grab. I'd never hoped for a surprise period before. I’d take ruining a pair of pants at school in front of all my friends over the nightmare I was stuck in.
He chuckled, hopping from the hood and tossing his cigarette to the ground to stomp it out before shoving it in his pocket. “Hop in. I'll give you a lift home.”
“Sorry I can’t.” A strange boy got me into trouble in the first place.
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t be stupid. It’s too late to walk across town alone.”
“Your car is loud,” I shot back, not knowing what else to say. I turned and kept going toward the bike trail that cut through the park. I wouldn’t let his words rattle me, though the threat of something lurking in the shadows sent my heart aflutter.
“You’re being stubborn, Joey!” he called. “I’ll drop you off a block away from your place. Daddy will never know.”
I glanced at the bike trail, the winding stretch of gravel much darker than I remembered. Dark enough for a bear to hide. Or a kidnapper.
“That’s right. Listen to reason, Joey.”
“It’s Josie,” I groused, jittery at the thought of heading into the dark again.
Luke seemed harmless, never anything less than friendly in passing, not that he looked my way. He hung out with the bad kids, the rowdy group notorious for skipping class and raising hell when they bothered to show up.
His brother Ethan was in my grade, an art prodigy that teachers worshiped, skipping class to paint in the studio. Meanwhile, I had to come in early most days for tutoring after missing too many days when Mom went downhill.
“Hop in, Joey.” He slid in the driver’s seat, leaving me alone on the sidewalk.
With everything else out of control, I had nothing to lose. I scrambled to climb in while he fired up the engine, its roar bouncing off the surrounding brimstone.
I buckled in and took a deep breath, only to sputter with coughs, the noxious combination of cigarettes and leather heavy.
He turned to face me, a wave of anxiety creeping up in my belly. His eyes were an incredible shade of blue just like Ethan’s, only his seemed so much wilder. “Now, what do you really have in that bag? Weed?”
My jaw dropped at his suggestion. “No!”
He laughed, a rich, warm laugh I’d never tire of. “So, what is it?”
“Tampons,” I repeated, avoiding his eyes. I felt horrible lying to him, especially when he was doing me a favor.
“Tampons come in a bigger box than that, kid,” he pointed out, turning his attention back to the road. “You need to think of a better lie.”
“Candy,” I replied. I did have a chocolate bar, but only as a guise for the pregnancy test I’d stolen. “I wanted chocolate.”
“You pregnant or something?” he chuckled. “Who goes out to grab chocolate this late?”
My lip quivered, so I sunk my teeth in, desperate to keep it together long enough to get home.
My silence must have said everything. “Oh shit, Joey. Did you tell your folks?”
I shook my head, turning to stare out the passenger window as the town zipped by. He was going too fast, but I stayed quiet, grateful I’d be home sooner rather than later to get it over with.
If my parents found out, I was toast. Dad might have retired from politics, but he still prized his reputation, so much so that no one knew about Mom’s illness until she had to stay in the hospital.
“Roberts aren’t weak,” was our unofficial motto, but we weren’t just weak: we were disintegrating.
“The dad know?”
I shook my head again, tears slipping. I’d never talk to Matt again. Baby or not.
“I’m sorry.”
His words hung there, the first apology I received about the whole thing. The realization was all it took for a sob to escape, my hand flying up to seal it in.
“Hey, hey...” he trailed, pulling to the side of the road. “Don't cry. I’m sure he’ll be there for you and the baby.”
He’d never understand. If the test was positive, I could kiss Briar and my baby goodbye. I couldn’t care less about Matt. I cared about Mom. I cared about Olivia. I couldn’t leave her alone. Not in that house.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need a friend, I’m all ears. You can’t keep that shit in. You’ll go nuts like my Ma.”
The Barretts were the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons. I wasn’t sure where his father went, but his mother used to stagger around with a bottle of whiskey. She hadn’t been seen in a while, keeping the gossip at bay, but it would be a matter of time before she’d be back.
“Matt Smith attacked me at a party,” I cried, wiping tears on the back of my hands.
The shining star of Briar High grabbed me, forcing me into a bathroom to do disgusting things. A jug of mouthwash to the face got him away, but not before he clawed at me like a cat, his hands seeming to touch everywhere.
“He hit you?” he asked, as shocked as I expected him to be.
Matt Smith was the all-American sweetheart as far as everyone knew, a model student with perfect marks, and the kind of boy Dad wanted me to date someday.
“No." I would have rather taken a punch. At least then someone would’ve believed me.
“Did he rape you?”
“No!” He had violated me, touching me everywhere, but he didn't get a chance to do anything more.
“Joey, you can’t get pregnant unless… well...”
“What?” I whirled to face him, to face the only person in the world that believed me without a second thought. My friends all rolled their eyes, telling me I was confused, that I was lucky to have a senior take interest.
“More... parts are needed.” He squirmed, his cool facade fading.
Parts? Dad always said all it took was hormones.
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. “You mean I stole a pregnancy test for nothing?”
“Be grateful you don’t need it,” he replied. “But are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m fine,” I lied, squeezing the bag so hard I thought the box would explode. “Dad said if boys got too close… the hormones. That's all it would take.”
I was so embarrassed admitting everything to a stranger, but I trusted him. One look in those blue eyes and I was lost, all worries wiped clean.
“Your dad was trying to scare you. Jeez, didn’t you take sex ed?”
I shook my head, mortified. Great. Now he knew I was a dork, too. A sheltered dork. My parents signed me out year after year. That stuff was for after I was married. It was SEX ed, after all. I wasn’t planning on that anytime soon.
“Do yourself a favor and check the Internet for the basics. You’re probably running late from stress. Your mom’s in the hospital, right?”
I nodded, surprised he knew. I didn't think he paid attention to anything Briar-related, let alone my family. “She’s sick.”
“I’m sorry. I hope she feels better soon.”
His words offered more comfort than any of my “friends” had, at least acknowledging the hell I was in. Most avoided the subject like the plague. Talking about illness wasn't easy, but cancer was a different league.
“She’s been sick for a while,” I breathed, losing track of how many times she’d been in and out of the hospital. “Cancer.”
He reached out, brushing a tear from the hollow of my cheek. “If you ever need to talk, don’t be a stranger.”
* * *
I jerked awake, my pillow soaked with tears. The memory brought pain with it, my stomach twisting in agony.
I remembered that night so well, Luke being the first and only person to care, the two of us speaking a language of pain no one else understood.
After he dropped me off, I’d figured we’d go our separate ways and never talk again, but we did talk, and so much more.
Matt showed up to school Monday with a black eye, delivering an apology with Luke at my side, our first day as friends within the halls of Briar High.
Luke became my rock, and I, his, each keeping the other afloat when the floodwaters came pouring in. Mom’s cancer got worse before it got better, and Dad grew more distant by the day. It was as if the Roberts weren’t a family anymore, just a revolving door of suffering.
Luke had his own demons, ones he rarely spoke of, listening as I cried, stroking my hair on the dock as the waves rolled in.
As time went on, we spent time with his family, a household whose only sin in Briar was allowing their daughter to marry a Barrett. But they were good people, a family that offered warmth and kindness to everyone.
At the peak of Mom’s illness, his Pops passed unexpectedly, threatening to spiral us all into the abyss. By then, we were more than friends, occasional flirting leading to a love that still haunted me no matter how much I denied it.
Nothing could rattle us, and nothing couldn’t be solved without a night on the dock, baring it all to one another, scars and all. It had been so long since I had that relief, that sense of right in the world.
All I had left was a rogue river of tears crashing down in an angry current, ready to sweep me away. Pain, fear, and uncertainty combined in a toxic sludge, too thick to tread for long.
I cried myself to sleep that night, needing a Luke talk more than ever.
Luke
Thirteen days.
It’d been thirteen days since I’d had sex, and I was falling apart. I wasn’t even sure I had a dick anymore.
It left me sweating like any fever with a mind so scrambled that focusing on anything was impossible, the cum buildup cutting off blood flow in the pipeline.
Everywhere I looked, there was sex.
Tailpipe pussies.
Headlight titties.
Tight screws and loads of lube.
Worst of all, I had plenty of medicine available with a text, but I didn’t want it.
I wanted a poison instead, one with wavy blonde hair and a tight ass. An ass I saw all too much of during her early morning yoga sessions in the backyard, bending in ways that looked more like sex positions than exercises.
Combined with the lack of sin cave diving, I was a walking accident, injuring myself in the shop like a rookie under the hood, so much so I stuck to the office, focused on interviewing.
Stepping out of the shop sucked, but it was necessary to focus on the brewery. I’d still manage the business, but I couldn’t wear as many hats anymore. There weren’t enough hours in the day.
<
br /> I forgot to pick up food for the coming weekend, my kitchen bare except for microwave dinners and beer. While I was okay with it, my family would be less than pleased with the offerings, especially health nut Jason, so I grabbed a little of everything. Rice. Beans. Steak. Chicken. Chocolate.
I was out of my element, standing taller than most shelves and navigating the tiny thing they called a cart with a hunched back. I usually grabbed groceries from the fish or farmer's market, but lately, bulk buying frozen dinners became the norm, carrying stacks across the store and shunning carts entirely. I wasn't home enough to worry about cooking, the shop and brewery gobbling up my days.
I rounded the corner into the bread and pastry aisle to grab Elena goodies. She loved muffins, so fresh ones were a must, along with whoopie pies, an area staple. As sweet as Jason was bitter, my future sister-in-law deserved the stars for putting up with my moody elder sibling.
Maybe sweets could satiate my appetite for something sinful, too, the best ass on Anderson Inlet Lane no longer mine.
My prayers were answered as I looked from bread to literal buns, a glorious ass tilted high at the end of the aisle. Denim shorts showed off long, sculpted muscles, the woman wearing them bent over studying donuts.
My cock instantly sprang to life, the limp noodle streak broken. I bit my lip, continuing along slowly, hopeful the pussy drought would end with those gorgeous gams around my waist.
Better yet, my face.
She straightened, her snug yellow t-shirt riding up, a quick tug hiding the tanned skin of her lower back. She turned, still focused on the display, a thick ponytail of blonde waves revealing the identity of the cock tease.
“Goddamn it,” I muttered.
She hadn’t seen me, but I had a great view of her, that rounded ass hugged tightly as she bent to scan the shelves again. As much as I knew I should bolt, it was too good of an opportunity to ignore.
I strolled over and crashed my cart into hers, banging the metal into the shelving with a loud crack.
She yelped and jumped, knocking over boxes of donuts as she spun to face me with her mouth agape. “What is wrong with you?” she screeched, bending to grab the fallen pastries, stuffing them back on the shelf. “You could’ve given me a heart attack!”
