by K B Cinder
“You need my number in case of emergency,” I said reluctantly, not thrilled to give up the goods to the king of mischief. “He’s not allergic to anything, and he knows how to swim, but I don’t want him in the water.” It was nerve-racking enough to let a four-year-old swim at the beach. A dip in the middle of the inlet was a hell no.
Linc went to object, but I held up a hand. “Sharks, Lincoln David. Sharks.” I wasn’t proud to use scare tactics, but I didn’t want him to do anything dangerous. Truth was, I’d never seen a shark in Maine, not that they weren’t somewhere in the surf.
His eyes flicked to the waves lapping against the dock. “Are they going to think I’m tasty because you are?”
Luke hooted in delight as he plucked a life jacket from the boat. “Your mom is tasty?”
Linc nodded, letting Luke help him into the neon green safety vest, the oversized man bent down to adjust the tiny straps as he laughed. It was odd he had a child’s vest handy, but I brushed the thought away. Ethan or Jason might have had kids. Weird they weren’t with them, but whatever. The Barretts were a weird bunch.
“Good to know,” Luke noted, glancing my way as he fastened the last buckle. “I’ll be sure I don’t take her out on a boat.”
“You need my number,” I pushed, my heart swelling at the two together.
Linc looked at Luke like his hero, and I’d never seen Luke so gentle. So attentive. He dropped the hardass front, exposing his tender underbelly.
“Way ahead of you.” He straightened from a crouch into all his glory, a slow-motion slide that sent my heart racing. “I already have it.”
“Thank you, Mommy.” Linc darted over, wrapping his arms around my thighs, the bulky vest rough against my skin.
I smiled down at my baby before looking back at Luke, suddenly realizing what he’d said. “What do you mean you have it?”
No one outside of my family and Dan had my number, and I was regretting the latter after near-daily texts I left unread.
Linc ran to Luke, letting him lift him into the boat, not an ounce of fear about the new adventure. He rushed to the bench beside Elena, instantly enamored with the dainty brunette.
Luke hopped on and gave me quick salute before firing up the engine. “Your parents love me, you know?”
Luke
After a long day boating, brewing, and bickering with my brothers, there was no place like home.
Everyone else was in bed for the night, planning on getting up extra early to grab good spots for the parade. I was the lone holdout on the deck staring at the bay, hoping the sound of the waves would lull me towards sleep. It’d been an hour, and so far, I wasn’t having any luck.
The time out on the water was great, especially with Lincoln keeping the mood high. I let him steer the boat and honk the horn, and he’d made a friend in Tally, revealing he’d asked Josie to play with her since they moved in.
It seemed like he made a friend in everyone, the happy-go-lucky blond as infectious as his mother. He even got stone-faced Ethan to lighten up, accidentally calling him Wheat Thin at first.
I couldn’t wait to head out again, planning an afternoon trip post-parade to soak up a few more hours before my brothers scattered back home. I wasn’t sure if Josie would let me take Lincoln along again, but I hoped she would. He had way too much fun to say no to, and it was nice to feel like a kid again watching him light up with wonder.
When he saw a pod of dolphins, he was over the moon, and when the first whale appeared, he was nearly in tears of excitement.
The waves did little to calm my stirring mind, revving me up like a kid at Christmas, each rush a reminder of getting back out on the water later in the day.
The moon was huge in the sky, and the stars reflected in the water, giving the inlet its famous tranquility that made it a place I could never leave. There were bigger, nicer houses I could afford, but I loved Nan’s place, the little spot of heaven perfect.
The wind had picked up, and if it didn’t calm, it’d make the parade a hell of a workout for the flag carriers, each gust lashing my hair wildly. The brininess of the salt air came with it, clinging to my skin.
I stared at the sea, begging it to pull me towards sleep, to drown out the stresses that lingered beneath the surface.
A dark spot at the end of the dock caught my eye, and for a moment, I thought it was merely the last post, but with another gust of wind, I saw the hair whipping with it. Long blonde hair.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I stood, walking bare-footed down the steps and across the grass, the sound of waves muffling the swish of the blades.
Josie was sitting cross-legged at the end of the dock in baggy pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, her head resting on her knees as she looked out at the water. She seemed so troubled. Like she needed the sea just as much as I did to sort things out.
“Nice night,” I muttered, making her jump, nearly toppling into the water as she tried to get to her feet.
“You scared the shit out of me!”
“I hope not.” I glanced at her feet, admiring her choice of furry slippers. “If I did, you can hop in the water to rinse off.”
“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep,” she explained, standing.
“Stay.”
I don’t know why I was offering her any solace after what she’d done. Maybe I knew deep down she needed the kindness, even if she didn’t deserve it.
In the moonlight, it was as is if all the years hadn’t flown by, and we were still fresh-faced teenagers hellbent on having fun. Everything about her was so familiar yet foreign, as intriguing as it was terrifying. We’d spent so many nights out on the dock, recounting pain through tears and laughs, finding comfort in the sea and one another. It was amazing how little things had changed.
During the day, the years were obvious with her body blossoming into a woman. Subtle lines around her eyes hinted at laughter I’d never hear, mirroring mine, though I had brow lines to keep them company.
She was a stranger really, not at all the girl I loved, and I let hate have control for so long, building barriers faster than anyone could break down. The only way to move on was to put it to rest, the hate only keeping the gaping wound open, not allowing it to heal.
It hurt to do it, to drop the grudge, the pain almost a memento that it had all been real. That I had loved someone at some point.
“I should go.” She took a few steps to flee, arms crossed.
“I told you: there’s nowhere better than sitting on my dock,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.
“Thanks, but Linc will be up in a few hours, and it’s going to be a long day.”
I ran my hands through my hair, trying to right the locks as another burst of wind whipped them wildly. “You can’t stay for just a little bit?”
She slowed, hesitating, and I took advantage of the moment to sit halfway down the dock, keeping plenty of space between us. I laid back for good measure, looking up at the night sky.
The best thing about living outside town was the view of the stars, thousands of lights dancing above, a clear picture of heaven for miles.
“Couldn’t sleep, either?” I asked.
“No,” she admitted.
“Going to be a busy day tomorrow.” I knew she’d be headed into town with everyone else to watch the parade, the kickoff to summer drawing people for miles. It was a rare moment of community unity before flatlanders flooded the area when school let out.
“Yeah,” she breathed, sounding as flustered as I felt, though likely for different reasons.
I couldn’t imagine raising a kid alone. Especially with her family as a support system. They were as reliable as knockoff single-ply toilet paper.
“I’m taking the boat out in the afternoon if Linc is allowed to go.”
The offer hung there for a solid minute before she answered. “That should be okay. Thank you.”
“You can come too as long as you don’t puke.” I didn’t want to mean it, but I did. I meant every word. She could come e
ven if she was puking.
“I think I’ll stick to shore, but thanks,” she chuckled, a smile clear as day in her voice.
“They make pills for that, you know?”
“Yeah, I took them too late last time. Still recovering from the embarrassment. Linc isn’t making it easy.”
I chuckled, remembering his impression of his mother earlier in the day. Something he reenacted at least a dozen times on the boat. “I can tell.”
“He loved it out there. He talked about it nonstop when he got home and went out like a light. Thank you.”
I smiled, glad that I’d done something worthy of a genuine thanks out of her. “Able to get your dirty porn pics done?”
“Yup, I finished every last one.” There was a smile in her voice.
A silence fell between us, nothing but the water lapping against the dock keeping us company.
“He’s a good kid. He likes Tally.”
For what it was worth, she’d done a damn good job raising him. It wasn’t every day that a little kid had manners. Kids around his age seemed like raging tyrants, yet he was as chill as could be.
She giggled, a sound that warmed my heart. “And Elena.”
I smiled. “Oh yeah, definitely Elena.”
The little Casanova had eyes for Jason’s girl, flirting up a storm all afternoon, listing his favorite toys one by one.
We sat in silence for a moment before she cleared her throat. “Did my parents really give you my phone number?”
I grinned, sliding my hands behind my head in a makeshift pillow. “Your mom did. Ed was pissed.”
“He would be. You two are like oil and water.”
And we always would be. Ed Roberts was a rotten son of a bitch, but I’d learned to ignore him over the years. He’d ignored me too until Josie came back into town.
“Don’t know why. Never did a goddamn thing to the man other than love his daughter.”
She stayed silent, the truth dangling untouched.
That I had loved her.
That I did love her.
I always would in some form.
“He was trying to tell me you and Dan are an item,” I explained with a laugh. “But hopefully, I squashed that for you.”
Anyone with a brain could tell she was freaked out by Dan when they were together. It also didn’t take a genius to see he was a douche.
“By telling them that I was with you Friday night?”
Busted. But she didn’t sound as pissed as I thought she’d be. “Maybe. But I got your phone number out of it, so it was a win.”
“And pissed my dad off to high hell.”
I shrugged against the wood. “It’s his fault if he doesn’t like me. I’ve been nothing but nice to him for years, and he’s treated me like trash.”
“Join the club,” she laughed. “At least you don’t have to spend time with him.”
“You don’t either,” I reminded.
“I do it for Linc,” she admitted, her voice dipping. “He loves his grandpa.”
“That’s a lot to put up with, but it’s admirable,” I said. “Make sure he doesn’t see him treat you the way I heard him talking to you the other night. That sticks with them more than all the love in the world.”
I wanted to knock Ed’s teeth down his throat, but that was a different story. I’d always be protective of her when it came to him, no matter how much she’d hurt me. It was the only reason I hid the disgusting truth about him from the world.
“I do what’s best for him.”
“I know, and I respect that,” I sighed. “But remember to be a happy mom — not a perfect mom. Sometimes you need to take yourself into consideration.”
I saw myself in Linc, at one time living as the child of a single mom, vaguely recalling a time when mine was sober. I remembered how we struggled, and I could remember how she cried at night, too proud to ask for help. It all went out the window when she fell in love with Jack, carrying the bottle around like a shield.
“Try raising a kid and let me know how that balance works for you,” she grumbled.
“I just want you to be happy. I can tell you aren’t.”
“We’re all dealing with something, Luke,” she sighed.
“Clearly. We’re sitting on a dock in the middle of the night instead of in bed.” It wasn’t really something that normal people did.
“Our own beds,” she corrected.
“Obviously.”
“It’s hard sometimes,” she sighed, a slight pull to her voice. “I get so tired and need a break, but feel guilty because I’m here, and Scott isn’t.”
I cleared my throat, positive that she was crying. “You take it a day at a time, that’s all. Everyone needs downtime. You can’t run on fumes. Refueling for Linc isn’t a crime.”
“It feels like it is. I’m so busy being mom and dad, and then everyone has their opinions about what I’m doing, and it gets old. I moved home for it to be easier, not harder. Sometimes I wish I stayed in San Diego.”
I almost wished she had too but couldn’t. “You’d be just as unhappy there. At least you have family here,” I argued. “And you’re doing a great job. Linc is a testament to that. He’s the only kid his age I’ve met that shakes hands, always says please and thank you, and doesn’t whine.”
She laughed. “You haven’t spent enough time with him. That boy can whine.”
“He’s going to whine despite your best efforts. He’s your kid. You’re the queen of whining.”
“Am not!” she barked.
“Luke! My legs hurt!” I mimicked, remembering all too well the time she complained all the way to the top of Flying Mountain. I put on my best Josie voice, trying to nail the high-pitch shrill of a whine. “Luke! I’m tired! Luke, I’m cold! Luke! I’m-”
I was silenced with her lips on mine, a gentle touch with devastating consequences.
I made a lot of mistakes, but none worse than kissing Josie again. It was a horrible idea, betraying every bit of pain I’d harbored over the years, but I couldn’t help it.
Everyone loved Josie fucking Roberts, and I was no exception.
She was as intoxicating as I remembered, moaning as our mouths revived the past and relearned one another with each sweep of a tongue or brush of lips.
She leaned over, hands resting on my chest as we kissed. It truly was heaven, reminding me why I loved her in the first place. Josie was home. She was from the moment we became friends, a scared girl who didn’t know a thing about life, love, or any of its ups and downs and a boy mad as hell at the world.
I didn’t want the moment to end, so I pulled her body on top of mine, kissing the woman I loved, hated, and everything in between while she straddled my hips, those legs feeling better than I imagined around me.
The salt from her tears was obvious on her lips, but I didn’t care. I’d waited eleven excruciating years for the chance to taste her again. To taste the lips I’d tried to forget. The lips I’d never forget.
I longed for her touch since I watched her walk away with Ed; her face bright red from his hand, wanting to rip him from limb to limb, restrained by the cuffs around my wrist. I made a promise to myself I’d get back to her, to rescue her, but she never gave me a chance. She left me, instead.
Despite the tears, passion didn’t fade, her demands just as frantic as mine, kissing me with a fire I hadn’t expected. It wasn’t merely two adults fooling around. It was years of history exploding. Love. Hate. Anguish. All pouring out like lava from a volcano.
Before I knew it, we were moving as I scooted backward, sitting up to rest against a post. A hand on her slender waist and another in that hair I loved so much, kissing the woman who’d always have me ensnared in one way or another.
Her hands clutched at my shirt desperately, her body trembling with each brush of lips as tears continued to fall.
Was it guilt? Shame? Embarrassment? I didn’t know, but I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to enjoy the moment, to enjoy us.
My cock was rock hard, and I knew there was no hiding it. Her body was positioned perfectly atop it, the mass pressing against her with everything it had.
I gripped her hip and ground up for a taste, earning a husky moan into my mouth, a noise I hadn’t heard her make in so long, a sound that drove me wild.
No woman worked me up like she did. Not even close.
I dipped my other hand under her shirt, sliding from her waist to a breast, swelling further at the lack of a bra, her chest bared for the taking. I kneaded one of the perfect mounds of flesh, loving the way she felt in my grip.
She squirmed at my touch, rolling her hips, rubbing herself against my cock.
For the first time in ages, I was dangerously close to exploding from foreplay, all because of her. She was the key to my downfall in so many ways.
“Fuck!” I groaned, jerking up against her. I’d risk splinters in my ass for it, ready to bury myself inside of her and forget about everything.
She pushed against my chest, breaking our kiss, probably thinking the same thing. I popped my eyes open to see the exact opposite of what I was expecting, the angel from my past broken, her face crumbling from desire to anguish.
“Are you okay?” I asked, reaching to cradle her face, to offer what comfort I could.
She shook her head, brushing my hands away as she struggled to stand. She would’ve toppled into the water if I hadn’t caught her hand, trying my best to steady her.
“Easy, Jos. Easy.”
A sob escaped as she stepped away, squirming out of my hold. “I can’t do this,” she squeaked, looking down at me while shaking her head. “I can’t do this.”
“Josie, wait!” I called, reaching out towards her, but she was already out of reach. “Just talk to me!”
“I have to go,” she choked out, stumbling backward and turning away from me one last time.
And just like that, she walked out of my life, running like she did the last time.
Josie
“Josie, are you okay?” Mom asked, studying me as I leaned against the barricade, a hand clutching her oversized sun hat as it flopped in the wind. “You look tired.”
