Ogun walked hesitantly into my room. “I was of the opinion Astrid never intended to talk to me again, however after a conversation with you, I have suddenly become a friend again.”
“Well, that figures. I'm gonna level with you, Ogun, I really don’t care what she had to say for herself. Unless she winds her neck back in, I'm done with her.”
“Ah, she mentioned that you do not want her to be part of Uprising anymore. I see she may not be too far from the mark.”
“This whole being the figurehead is a tough gig, right?” I asked.
“It most certainly is, you become the focal point for everyone’s hopes and fears.”
“I hadn’t realised how much I was putting on Shaun by pushing it on him.”
“I imagine you support him a great deal, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Make sure you rely on those you trust too.”
“Well, it sure as shit isn’t Astrid anymore.”
“Astrid is difficult to understand at times. She is quite remarkable, but despite the process she underwent in Anatoli, she can still have a predisposition to feeling like a victim.”
“She always seemed solid and dependable until now. So did you read her mind? I know you do that kind of crap without thinking.”
He smiled at me. “I tried. She felt me straight away. You could’ve warned me that she had transcended!”
I had to laugh. “Oh shit, yeah. I forgot to mention a bunch of people are transcended now. I bet that didn’t go down too well.”
“No, it did not,” he chuckled. “Astrid seems intent on painting me and now you as villains. I find it remarkable that you’ve saved them from starvation, given them a fresh purpose, and increased their power levels exponentially, and they still do not think you have done enough for them. How very human, and Fystr.”
“Yeah, people be dicks, Ogun.”
“Yes, it’s a universal truth. So, where do you plan to go from here? While I’d love to see you all remain together, it was always going to be tough. If you decide that the right course of action is to remove her from Uprising, then I will understand.”
“That's really not what I said to her, and she knows it. I told her we were in a shitty situation and all need to be pulling together. I told her she should get on board until we’re at least safe, and if afterwards she was still unhappy, she could fuck off.”
“Ha! A very fair and reasonable proposal and what a way with words.”
“Thanks for your support, Ogun. I am not too worried about Astrid. She’ll most likely be poisoning a few others against me as we speak, but I know the Torax and Veiletians will always have my back, and I’m confident that most of the humans will too.”
“It is the nature of our species to have a small number of troublesome outliers. It might even be a biological imperative to drive growth!” He laughed yet again, and it was infectious.
In the end his visit had cheered me up and I was left feeling much more positive. “Thanks for the pep talk, Ogun. Can I ask, where do you see yourself fitting into all of this?”
“Oh, I am content as we are. I’d like you to think of me as some kind of not particularly important advisor. I have already made a big enough mess of this whole thing.” He chuckled.
“You did an amazing thing, Ogun, you should be proud of your accomplishments with us.”
“I am, dear, and as long as we manage to join up with Shaun again, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
At that moment another knock came at the door. “Come in!” I shouted. Acclo entered.
“We have a tested workaround for the doors. It isn’t perfect, but the Torax can weld the doors shut.”
“What about feeding them, Acclo?” I asked.
“We have thought about that, and a small opening can be cut in the door for handing things through. We can still open the door when we need, though we may need to change their rooms on occasion, once the doors become irreparably damaged.”
“Hmm, it feels a bit uncivilized,” I pondered briefly, “but it’s all we have. So yeah, I’m on board with the idea. It has to be better than keeping them knocked out.”
“I’ll arrange it immediately,” replied Acclo.
“Thank you,” I said to their departing back.
“I too shall take my leave, Ember,” added Ogun. “I imagine you’d like to have a little time to yourself.”
“Yes, thank you, Ogun, I need a long moment.”
When Ogun left and I was alone once more, I lay back on the bed, facedown, and took the opportunity to cry my damn eyes out. Everything had turned to shit very quickly, and we hadn’t even been able to defend ourselves. They plucked us out of our own ships like sleeping babies from a crib, and it terrified me. Now I had all of this responsibility, and I felt it was only a matter of time before I messed everything up. But most of all, I was terrified that I’d never see the big lump ever again.
Chapter 10
The Curtains are a-Twitching
The days in the training facility blurred into weeks—three according to Ialos. Day after day, they strapped me into training apparatus that were occasionally upgraded to ever more innovative designs, all while I continued with the boring repetitive tasks in my Mindscape. The newest apparatus had me suspended in an x position, arms and legs stretched to practically their upper limit, while strong currents were applied to make my muscles contract and pull inwards. It hurt just to hear it described, but thankfully I was pain-free in my Mindscape.
While the beautiful Ialos was a constant companion, Fiekela joined us less and less, and then only to measure my progress. Other Apochros visited to arrange various tasks for me to complete, designed to increase one stat or another.
Today, though, felt like it was going to be different. Another new face came to work with me. He was crazy and wore his long black hair past his shoulders. He could have been a different race altogether due to his towering height, thin frame, and gaunt features. Which was unusual, because everyone else I’d seen so far on Accre were well-muscled, with radiant complexions.
He introduced himself as Kirel, and I felt a sense of unease in his presence. I wasn’t particularly comfortable with him being in my mind. I hoped, with the training of the past few weeks, that I might be able to push him out should he do anything too strange, but for now I just tried to ignore my feelings of alarm I felt.
“Vakuna,” he said in his surprisingly normal voice, “today we are going to improve your abysmal Wisdom score.”
“Oh, that’s good,” I replied, and I meant it. Despite my unease, all my other scores were shooting up, and only my Wisdom had been neglected. I was suspicious as to why they had left it undeveloped; there was no clear reason I could see for it. And why, when they finally decided to develop it, did they send the creepiest, most suspicious-looking Wisdom teacher in the universe? Suffice to say, it didn’t ease my concerns. With any luck, an increase in Wisdom might stop my mind running around in random circles like this at least.
“We will be running through some scenarios designed to target and develop your decision making. To do this, we will be training in your Subconscious. Have you spent any time in your Subconscious Room yet?”
“I don’t think so. What does it look like?”
“The access door usually has powerful feelings emanating from within. They often cause discomfort to the untrained.”
“Oh, I do know the door, and no, I’ve not been inside. Nor do I particularly wish to enter.”
“Do not worry, that is a common reaction. It is not a common room to visit, even for our Elders. Yet, in this instance, it will provide us with an excellent place to give your Wisdom the workout it sorely needs. We will meet outside of the access door,” he instructed, then his face went blank as I felt him appear inside my brain. I shivered, feeling invaded.
“Good luck, Vakuna,” Ialos said from the side of the apparatus I was hooked into, ready to turn it on. I smiled at her before entering my Mindscape.
He was standing outside the scary door
, waiting patiently. “Follow me, if you please,” he said, opening the door and stepping in without hesitation. With a gulp, I followed him into a large, dimly lit room. Darkness seemed to shroud the walls and corners, so much so that I couldn’t see the far wall. Kirel stopped in the center of the room. “Before we go any further, clear your mind as you have been taught. Stray thoughts can raise all manner of scenarios that we do not wish to deal with. We will walk forward into the darkness, and once we are fully shrouded, where no light penetrates, I will ask you to imagine a series of specific scenarios. Once they materialise, do your best to affect them to a satisfactory conclusion.”
“What do you mean by scenarios though? It’s not really making any sense to me.”
“Think of it like a dream. This place is where you can walk in your dreams, fully conscious, although there is a definite element of danger if you are lacking in experience. I have spent thousands of years working in my own Subconscious. The things you can do and create are… enlightening,” he answered with a sinister look on his face that really didn’t inspire confidence. “Come, Vakuna, let’s begin,” he continued before walking toward the back wall. It was not a wall though; it was just shadow. I was beginning to feel deeply uncertain as we passed into the darkness. Though the word uncertain didn’t really cover how I was feeling, terrified wasn’t quite right either. The usually very faint voice in the back of my mind offered a suggestion that seemed far more precise, and with greater insistence than usual. Following this nine-foot-tall creepy motherfucker into total darkness had me freaking the fuck out! I could normally tune out the voice, but it seemed far closer to me in here and oddly provided some comfort and confidence, with both its presence and its words.
“Why’s it so dark though, Kirel? Why would we want to train in here?” I asked the looming shadow in front of me.
“Wisdom is more than just knowing, Vakuna. It is a way of thinking that transcends logic. The logical answer is not always the best answer.” We both fell silent after that, and he continued moving further into the darkness. We seemed to have been walking in near darkness for a while, and I was growing frustrated.
“How long do we have to walk for?” I asked. It took a little while for Kirel to answer, but when he did, I detected some frustration in his voice too.
“We should have been in total darkness some time ago. I do not understand why we are not. Keep moving forward, we should reach it soon. I… What is that up ahead?” he asked. “What are you thinking about, Vakuna?”
“Getting the hell outta here,” I replied without thinking. “And the what the fuck is what?”
“Clear your mind,” he snapped without answering my question.
“Funny that I have to clear my mind, while actually being in my mind. What am I actually clearing?”
“Don’t be so foolish! You are your consciousness. You still control everything inside the Mindscape. Now do as you’re instructed and clear your mind.”
“Okay, Kirel. I’ll do my best.” You fucking prick, I thought, and giggled internally at the words my mind came up with to describe him. Nonetheless, I decided I also needed to be careful of what I said. For some reason, my mouth was dancing to a different tune than normal. I focused on emptying my thoughts, and it was suddenly much more difficult for me. Ialos had advised me that with 100 percent clarity it should be simple, but it appeared I had a somewhat disobedient mind at the best of times.
“Okay, Kirel, it’s as clear as it can be. I’m not thinking of anything… well, other than these words,” I said, which threatened to derail my efforts.
“If your mind is clear, then we should be in total darkness. Yet, that strange glow still persists. Let us investigate and discover the truth of this anomaly.”
I hadn’t even noticed a glow, we seemed to be in total darkness to me, but now I was looking for it, I slowly became aware of a soft golden glow emanating from the direction we were headed. “What do you think it is?” I asked the barely tangible form in front of me.
“I… do not know. There really should be nothing here. It is most unusual.”
The glow began to grow in intensity. I could see Kirel more clearly again and he had a deep frown etched into his face which grew to a look of total bewilderment as a golden outlined doorway came into view. As we closed the distance, I could see it was like no other doorway I’d seen in my Mindscape. It was far more ornate, with decorative carvings in the door itself that meant nothing to me, framed by a twisting columnar architrave. There was a clear glow coming from the cracks around the door. Where I felt fear from the door into my Subconscious, from this door I felt something entirely different. It certainly wasn’t joy. I wouldn’t even say it was a positive feeling. It was something beyond that, like a torrent of every emotion possible, blended into one overwhelming entity. What I could identify without doubt was that it was insanely powerful. I did not want to face the full force of whatever lay on the other side.”
“Kirel, we are not opening that door!”
“No, I agree for now. It is an unexpected anomaly. We should return, I must speak with the council. You must not ever come back in here without guidance. You are not prepared for whatever this irregularity is. Come, let us head back,” Kirel commanded, and we began walking back into the darkness.
“Why can’t we just return to our Normal-State?” I asked.
“This part of your mind is not freely accessed. Now, follow and remain clear of thought,” he said.
I followed obediently, walking back from darkness into gloom until finally the light of the room opened up around us. Kirel didn’t say another word to me. He just vanished, leaving my mind instantly. I’d learnt my lesson the hard way about just leaving and contacted Ialos. “Hi, can you switch me off, we're coming out early.”
“Yes, Vakuna. That was quick,” she replied.
“Yup, didn’t exactly go as planned,” I said, mulling over the fact I was speaking differently. It felt natural, though, to the point that I struggled to speak in my normal way.
“It’s fine to make your way out now, though you will feel some pain still.”
“That’s cool. Just so long as I’m not being actively tortured,” I replied before leaving the Mindscape to find Ialos undoing the restraints.
“…I will let you know what we agree on, Ialos,” I caught Kirel saying from the opposite side of the training facility, just before he levitated through the ceiling. Ignorant bastard didn’t even hang around to talk to me. Yup, I really didn’t like him.
“I must admit to being very confused,” Ialos said, shaking me from my thoughts of creepy Kirel.
“Yeah, it was weird. What did Lurch tell you about it?”
She looked at me in shock. “The way you are speaking, it has… it has altered.”
“Yeah, weird, right?”
“Did Kirel say anything about what might be going on?”
“He didn’t say a goddamn thing. That fucker was too far up his own ass to talk to me properly, or listen to anything I had to say. So what's happened to me? I sometimes have this really quiet little voice inside my head, but it talks like the way I’m talking now. To be honest, I thought I was just going a little mad. But inside my subconscious, it grew much louder and clearer. I feel like it’s taken me over.” I laughed. “But I don’t actually mind for some reason, it feels more, uhm, comfortable?”
“Really?” She looked concerned. “What do you mean by more comfortable and what has it been saying?”
“Nothing much, just using a different language to articulate my feelings. But it always makes more sense.”
Her eyes widened. “Oh! That is something. We will have to investigate it further, see what we can do later. What else happened in your subconscious? Kirel mentioned that something was wrong with your Subconscious Door.”
“He didn’t mean the main door at the entrance. We found another door inside, giving off this mad ass golden glow. It was seriously overwhelming.”
She surprised me by speaking
directly into my mind with urgency. “Jezai was concerned something like this might happen with you. Do you think you can speak in the formal manner you previously spoke in? That or try speaking as little as possible to any of the council.” Then, aloud she continued, “We will see how the council responds to this development.”
“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.
She again communicated directly into my mind. “Shh… no more. If it is discovered I am assisting you to hide this change from the council, then I will find myself in conflict with them and all may be lost.”
I spoke out loud again in answer, “I have no idea wh…”
“Shaun, stop talking! It’s essential you… oh no!”
“What? Who is Shaun? What the hell’s happening, Ialos?” I was about to say more, but my body had begun to shake involuntarily, followed by blackness.
I heard Ialos’s voice before I saw her. She was trying to rouse me. “Are you okay, Vakuna?” Her voice was panicked.
I wiped at my mouth; a foamy spittle covered my sleeve. “What the bloody hell happened?” I groaned.
“What is your name?” she asked, kneeling over me as I lay on the floor for some reason.
“Well, it’s bloody Vakuna, isn’t it!” I exclaimed. Then, I had a moment of definite doubt. “I think there are other memories. Who is Ember?”
She looked deeply worried. “Wait here. I must contact Jezai, quickly. This is not good. See if you can practice speaking formally, as you did before your training with Kirel.”
“Sure, I'll give it a blast,” I said, horrified by the lack of control I had over my mouth.
She shook her head sadly, then scooted off to her office at the back of the facility. I sat and watched her as she went, admiring the view.
I sat there mulling over what I knew, but my mind was all over the shop. There was definitely something fishy going on; this voice and those snippets of memory, along with some Fiekela’s and others from the council’s occasionally odd behaviors. I had some little hints that Ialos was trying to tell me something too and out of all of them, she was the one I trusted the most. I resolved to try deceiving Fiekela when he arrived, by any means necessary. Even if I still couldn’t piece jack-shit together.
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