“I know you were friends, but I went in there to offer him a chance of redemption with the Uprising, but as you can see, he made it so only one person was leaving that room alive. I made sure it was me.”
I half expected the guy to attack me, and perhaps he would have if his way wasn’t impeded by Roger and Amnarr. But actually, he didn’t seem overly angry; he just stood there looking thoughtful. “Maybe you’re not as useless as we all thought. Rufus had a problem with you and Shaun from the beginning, influencing those he trusted into believing you shouldn’t be in charge of anyone. How he would be the best suited. He claimed that you’d stumbled onto your good fortune and enjoyed lauding it over the rest of us. He did his utmost to make it uncomfortable for the aliens that you put on our ship. If it wasn’t for the fact that Calparr is such a scary bastard, and William being well loved, he would have alienated half the crew. It would’ve gone very badly, very quickly.”
“That really doesn’t surprise me,” I replied a little impatiently, waiting for him to get to his point.
“Rufus ran the Ukraine base when Ogun wasn’t there, so in essence he’s been my leader since I came out of Anatoli. I’m shocked he tried to kill you, but then part of me isn’t surprised. On top of that, me and Roger go way back. So in spite of not fully trusting you, I do trust Roger here. He says you're a good person and that Shaun is everything he seems to be. I’m sad about Rufus, of course, but I accept he was a turd. It’s not a surprise it came to this, but if you let me rejoin the crew, I will work with you to the best of my ability and regain your trust.”
“You need to be sure, John,” Roger answered in my place, and I was a little pissed off with him, until I realized why he had. “Because I’ll warn you, after Rufus, if I catch you trying to undermine the captain here, or trying to get revenge in any way, that will be it for you. No more prison, if you get my gist!”
The man named John laughed nervously. “I understand very clearly.”
“Although I don’t condone capital punishment, Roger,” I said, eyeballing him, “I’m happy that we’ve reached an understanding. I only want everyone to be safe and get off here. If Roger vouches for you, and you want to be part of Uprising again, then you're good to go, John.”
“I’m in, I promise. No more shit from me.”
“Good to hear,” Roger said, and slapped the other man on the back.
“I’ll go and see the others, if you want to come along, Roger?”
“Sure, John can come along too.”
We visited the other two men, and I couldn’t help but be pleased that they were both convinced to rejoin, encouraged by the fact that I’d fought and killed Rufus for some reason. I’d thought that knowledge would have created a greater divide. People were fucking weird.
Chapter 13
Mother Knows Best
Yay for me, I didn’t have to sort out an assembly to explain the sudden demise of Rufus because Acclo had already arranged one to discuss the communication from the Apochros. With my face and leg covered in blood it would be best to get cleaned up first. But I'd have to pass everyone in the canteen to get to my quarters, which would cause too much chatter. I could have cleaned up a little in the cells and tried to keep it quiet a little longer, but ultimately that wouldn’t do us any good when everyone finally found out. So I made the decision to just go and address everyone now.
Amnarr offered to take the rap for it, but I didn’t want people thinking I couldn’t handle my business, even though it sounded like a nice easy copout. That could also cause animosity between humans and Torax. I really didn’t need that shit on my plate too. This was bad enough. Nope, I had to grit my teeth and get it out in the open, come what may. The men who were already involved escorted me to the hall. People were already milling around. I sent Amnarr off to get Acclo to start the meeting, then I walked across the hall to the podium.
I felt eyes on me, burning with concern and confusion most likely, but I only felt the judgment that would follow my news. Calegg, Elyek, and Ogun wasted no time in rushing over as soon as they saw me. Assaulting me barrage of questions and concern.
“I’m okay, guys, I promise I’m mostly healed up. It looks worse than it is, but I wanted people to see me like this with the news I have to deliver.”
“What news, Ember? Just tell me, I can’t handle not knowing,” Calegg said frantically.
I lowered my voice, to speak to the circle around me. “Rufus had made a knife, he tried to kill me with it... I’ve killed him.”
A collective gasp came from them all. “Why, what exactly happened?” Ogun said, his face almost as tortured as when he came out of his coma the first time.
“It looks like everyone is pretty much here now, so you may as well hear it with everyone else,” I said, gesturing to the flow of people moving into the hall.
Once Acclo had confirmed the whole of Uprising was present, with heart in mouth but trying to project an image of calm, I began to speak.
“Hello everyone and thank you for joining me. As you all know, we received a communication today. That was why I called you all together. However we have had an issue,” I said, gesturing at my face. “With the revelation that we may be stuck here for a long time, I didn’t want to leave those we had locked up stuck in those rooms indefinitely. I went to speak with them in the hopes that they would see reason. These three men,” I said, indicating the men standing with Roger and Amnarr, “have decided to rejoin us in the spirit that Uprising was created. I have yet to speak with Graeme, the one who attacked me on day one here.” I took a deep breath, before I delivered the news. “I did however speak with Rufus. He was very resistant to following my lead in any way. He believed with a pretty aggressive viewpoint that he should be in command here. I had no choice but to leave him in the cell, which prompted him to attack me.”
There was a collective gasp, and I looked around the shocked faces. Astrid’s face stood out to me in particular as expressionless. Shit, she was going to cause trouble. There wasn’t much I could do about it, so I forged on.
“After a rough fight, I was able to get the better of him. That’s when he pulled a knife he’d made, and came at me again with the intent to kill me. I was able to get the better of him, however he died in the exchange. It wasn’t what I wanted, but it has happened and for that I am sorry.”
I didn’t think it was possible for silence to grow quieter, but it did. Until, as predicted, Astrid spoke up. “So you just went and killed him because he didn’t agree?”
“Astrid, you know that isn’t true. He’s dead because he tried to kill me.”
“I know you didn’t trust him; I know you didn’t like him much either. I may have had some of my own concerns relating to him, but he most certainly did not deserve to be executed! I didn’t realise that's how Uprising would be dealing with disagreements. It makes me almost glad you just told me to leave, when I disagreed with you!”
Muttering and whispering sprung up amongst some of the humans at that. The fucking bitch was doing me right over here. The Torax on the podium with me went to speak, I was quicker.
“Why would you use the word execute, Astrid? That isn’t what I said, nor meant!” I snapped angrily. “Are you intentionally trying to cause trouble here because of our disagreement earlier? Because as I remember, you said you didn’t want to be part of Uprising, to which I replied, ‘work with me until we leave this place, then if you want to go your own way you have my blessing.’”
The muttering increased, spreading throughout the humans.
“You ask why I would use the word execute? Is it not clear? We’re hardly porcelain dolls anymore, Ember. A concerted effort must have been made to kill him.” She didn’t bother to respond to her part in the leaving Uprising conversation.
“Of course I made a concerted effort! I snapped his neck with all the force I could muster before he stabbed me. I don’t know about you, but I actually want to survive. Not get stabbed to death by Rufus.”
“So where w
as the guard when all this happened?” she asked, clearly insinuating something.
“The guard was with me, letting me in to speak with the others,” Roger said. The others with him nodded their agreement. Amnarr just stood, arms folded, staring at Astrid, with the worst attempt at a neutral expression I’d ever seen.
“Astrid, I’m trying my best to keep all of this together, and almost everyone here is making an effort to keep going. However, for some reason, you are going out of your damn way to cause division. I went to offer him an olive branch, because I didn’t want him confined forever. I, like you, didn’t think he deserved that. What did he do with that branch? Tried to fucking kill me with it. Look, I’ve freed three of his men, what reason would I have to kill him? If that was my intention, I could have killed him from a distance without ever going into his room.” I paused, looking around to gauge the response so far. Unreadable. “I’m not perfect and never said I was. In fact I’m a pretty fucking angry person deep down, because I, like Shaun—like all of you!—am fucking sick of being a victim! It’s that anger that drives Uprising. And it’s that anger that snapped the stupid bastard’s neck like a goddamn twig when he tried to kill me, all so he could make a grab for more power. You might not agree with me, you might even try to make it seem like something else happened, but you weren’t fucking there, Astrid, you were skulking around like a child feeling sorry for yourself because you didn’t get your own way with me. The way you're talking now, who knows, you may have even helped him. He may have made that knife from something in his room, or he may have acquired it from somewhere else.”
There was a gasp at that statement and Astrid looked like I’d physically slapped her. She was about to answer but I’d pretty much lost it now. “Did you know Rufus looked down his nose at both me and Shaun? All because we came out of Anatolia later than him. I can see it in your eyes too, since joining back up with us, the resentment has built because you feel dependent on people you see as beneath you. But when Ogun left, you were given a far better chance to thrive than what we had. And what did you both do? You fucked it up, living hand to mouth, desperate! Now you stand there looking down your nose at me. Is it just because Shaun isn’t here that you’re showing your true colors? Were you just scared of him?”
“I actually respected Shaun as a leader no matter how unorthodox. You however I do not. You shouldn’t be in charge, in Shaun’s absence. While I have suffered your leadership until now, I find the murder of Rufus to be unforgivable. If Ogun doesn’t want to reclaim leadership, then I will offer myself forward as an alternative,” she shouted, looking around at everyone. I knew she had been continually active, speaking with people. Everyone but me really and my close circle. But I didn’t expect a revolt from her.
Elyek stepped forward. “Astrid. Being part of Uprising was a choice. One that has benefitted you greatly. If you feel you have better prospects by leaving us, that is your choice. But why you think you can call a vote on Ember’s leadership is confusing to me.”
Calegg stepped forward to stand alongside Elyek and I. “Now before this meeting continues, anyone who has had a change of heart about working with us, could you please leave the hall. This is a meeting for Uprising only.”
Astrid’s face darkened, but nobody moved.
“You are serious?” Astrid asked.
“About what? That you cannot just decide to become the de facto leader of Uprising? Yes, of course I am serious! What a ridiculous suggestion,” Elyek replied.
“But she killed Rufus,” Astrid shouted in anger. “How can we trust her?”
“Astrid, please leave. Your words are without meaning,” Ogun said from behind me.
“I never said I wanted to leave Uprising!” she squawked. “This is very unfair, I just…”
“Seriously Astrid, you voiced your opinion that you didn’t want to follow my lead, even though it has been made clear there are four people guiding Uprising. The other founding members of Uprising are satisfied with me remaining as I am.”
“They won't say anything, because you will just abandon them like you are abandoning me,” Astrid screeched.
“That doesn’t make any sense, Astrid. Before you go, please tell everyone how you would have dealt with Rufus if he attacked you with a knife.”
“That has nothing to do with this!”
“Of course it does. You think you could do a better job, well how would you deal with what we are now facing? Not only that, how about when you really need everyone to pull together and two of your most senior people in positions of power decide to try and remove you for their own purposes.”
“You shouldn’t have pushed both of us so far then. You don’t treat either of us with the respect we deserve.”
“For fuck’s sake, I’ve already been through this with Rufus.”
“Well, you didn’t ask us for our opinions on things.”
“About what?”
“You're trying to make me look petty. It won’t work,” she complained.
A voice from the crowd shouted out, “Shut the fuck up, Astrid, you’re talking shit!” There was a small ripple of laughter from the crowd. I scanned to see who shouted. I saw a group of humans patting one man on the back and chuckling. He just looked a little embarrassed. It did have a calming effect on me, which was probably for the best as I looked back to the offended Astrid.
“I am sorry Rufus died. But that shit’s on him, not me. If you want to leave that’s your choice. But Uprising is neither a democracy nor a dictatorship, it’s a family, and at this moment in time, I’m the fucking mommy.” I didn’t know where that last bit came from, but it brought more than a few chuckles. William started clapping, which was taken up by almost everyone else. I gave silent thanks to Astrid for actually taking the focus off Rufus’s death with her childish antics. She sprinted off, tears in her eyes. I was surprised to see over ten people follow her out of the hall. I shrugged—better they go now.
“Right, everyone, I’m glad that’s out of the way. Now can everyone please stop trying to take over. It’s a shit job, trust me, you really don’t want it. If you’re that bored, then work on getting us the fuck off this space station.”
“Or better yet figure out how to fly it!” Calegg shouted, and there was another round of laughs.
“Now, the communication wasn’t what we wanted to hear, but there was some good news in all of this. Shaun is still alive. So if we can’t get off this fucking place, I’m pretty sure he will be along soon enough.”
There was a cheer for that.
“And the last thing before I go and get cleaned up, if anyone is close to Astrid, can you please help to talk her round? I do actually like her normally, and I really don’t want to lose anyone else.”
Chapter 14
I’m Omni Gonna Say This Once
My mind became aware again. Though for some reason, I couldn’t open my bloody eyes. At least that was my first thought. After further inspection l came to realize I had no body, just a consciousness, floating in a sea of nothingness. Not really my favorite kind of realization. Lucky for me, I’d danced this dance before long ago when I’d transcended so I knew there was hope. Worryingly, I didn’t have Ogun here this time. Perhaps Ialos, or even Jezai, when he arrived, would be able to bail me. Or… Shit! My memories, they were back!
I rejoiced as much as a disembodied consciousness could. Before the anger hit like a tidal wave. Those sly bastards! They were playing me this whole time. Fucking Vakuna! The dirty ball sacks even had the cheek to fucking rename me!
Then guilt rolled into town. Oh, shit! My eyes were all over Ialos like a starving man at a buffet. Ember was going to kill me if she ever found out. But… it wasn’t my fault, right? I never acted on it. For that matter, where the hell was Ember? What the hell had they done with everyone? Goddamn it! Shit was really going to kick off when I got back to my body.
I started wracking my incorporeal brain for ideas on how to get back to my body. What the hell did Ogun do? No fucking
clue, I despaired. He was another one who played his cards close to his chest.
The bond! That had to be it, it connected me to my body as far as I knew. I concentrated on the grey bond that connected my mind to my physical body, and to my absolute delight it appeared in front of me in the infinite darkness. I wasn’t sure what to do now, I’d only ever thickened and thinned it out before. As I thought about traveling back to its source, the bond shivered and I got the distinct impression of movement.
I was wracked with doubt as to whether I was actually moving or not. After some time, I eventually coasted back into my Mindscape. Unfortunately, I returned back deep within my Subconscious. Though this time it was different; as soon as I landed down on the floor of my mind, the golden light flowed around me.
“Well done for returning! That was quite the explosion and I couldn’t hold on to you.”
“Who the fuck is this?” I shouted angrily.
“I am you,” the voice replied seriously.
“Hardy ha ha! You’ve all fucked with me long enough. Who is this speaking?”
“This is your Mindscape. Can you feel any other presence here but yours?”
“Uhm.” I reached out with my senses. The bastard was right. My mind was clear of any intrusion. “Well then me, you better start explaining how you can be me when I’m me!”
“This is where it gets interesting,” the voice said. “Because technically, you are me. I’ve been around for quite a while you know.”
“Don’t fuck me about with riddles, get to the point. I don’t know if you can pick this up or not, but I’m seriously fucking angry right now.”
“Yes, I know. These idiots made a huge mistake pushing you like this. I’ll give you it briefly. The universe is full of energy. It’s in everything, yeah?”
“Sounds believable, but the point? Remember?”
“That energy is sentient, you call it the soul, which is close enough for today's lesson. While everything has this energy, it manifests in different quantities. For instance, sentient beings have much more than, say, an apple or a rock?”
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