Still, she wasn’t so worried about it — and about what Una was going to think about it, for that matter — that she was going to turn down a meal with a handsome man. It felt like a date now, and she couldn’t help but feel exasperated for herself when she detected the tell-tale flutter of nerves. He likes you, idiot. He already proved that. Stop being such a coward.
Still, food was enough to distract her thoroughly. It was fish tonight, little fish pies served with vegetables and fresh bread rolls, and she took as many as would fit on her plate, grinning as she noticed Brendan doing the same. They sat together on the far side of the hall, but for the first few minutes of the meal, there wasn’t much talking. Both of them were too busy catching up on lunch — for Elena, at least, it felt like she was trying to fill in a black hole at the center of her body.
“When are you on duty again?” she asked finally, trying to wipe her mouth discreetly. He swallowed quickly, his eyes dancing with amusement.
“Tomorrow, though if anything turns up in the village I’ll head down there instead. Perks of being the Captain,” he said, grinning. “That being said, I sorely hope we’ve seen the last of this strange disease.”
“When will you know whether the sick men in the village are healing?”
“I’ve advised Father Caleb to send word the minute anything changes — he’s the village priest, he’s been taking a special interest in the case,” Brendan explained with a smile. “I’ll take you down to meet him one day. He’s quite a character. Very pompous, for such a young man.”
“He’s a priest?”
“Aye, Catholic. Most of the villagers go along to his sermons on Sundays — though whether it’s out of belief in the Lord or fondness for Caleb remains to be seen. Either way, he feels good about it, and he does good work for the people of the village, so it works.”
“How does he feel about all the… supernatural stuff?” she asked, nibbling at a bread roll. From what she knew about Catholics, the idea of the Fae wouldn’t sit particularly well with their ideology.
Brendan rolled his eyes. “Oh, he’s determined to believe that it’s all superstition and nonsense, of course, despite being personally involved in several fairly serious incursions from the Fae. The goblins last year, the enormous wolf that nearly ruined the livelihood of the local shepherds…”
“Enormous wolf? A faerie?”
“Aye, they often come in non-human shapes. Most of them, honestly. The Sidhe are an exception. So’s Maggie — though she’s only half-Fae, o’course. Darter’s more the type of thing you’d usually see, and even he speaks our language and walks on his back legs.” Brendan shrugged. “Nessie, too, she’s from the Fae world.”
“How’d she get over here?” Elena wondered.
“Nobody knows. Just swam through one day and decided to stay, that’s my theory. She’s a simple creature.”
“I really want to see her,” Elena said thoughtfully.
“Is that why you’ve been spending so much time on the docks?” Brendan asked, quirking an eyebrow. She looked up, shocked that he was aware of that particular element of her time here — and her heart started beating faster, anxiety creeping in. Had he seen her talking to Una? Did he know more than he’d been letting on about her friend?
“What?”
“The men mentioned it. Said you sit down the end, looking out over the water at sunset some nights. You’re allowed,” he added, looking a little nonplussed at her expression.
She schooled it carefully, realizing he hadn’t seen Una — or at least, his men hadn’t mentioned her.
“It’s fine. It’s a beautiful view, down there.”
“It is,” she agreed, feeling herself relax… but not much. “Didn’t realize I was being spied on.”
“Oh, aye, the men keep watch,” Brendan said, raising an eyebrow. “Of more than just the gate. After all, the Castle’s here to protect from the Loch, not the land. There’s no Burghs out in the forest… as far as I know, anyway,” he added with a frown. “That’d be just what we needed.”
“So there’s always someone on guard? Day and night?”
“Aye, since the Sept moved in here,” Brendan said, his eyes suddenly steely. “It’s our sacred duty, to keep watch, make sure nothing creeps out of those waters that shouldn’t. We can’t see everything, of course — some creatures are sneakier than others, and it’s not as though we have the manpower to be running patrols of this whole Loch, even if that would be a feasible way of keeping an eye on things. But aye, that’s our calling, the men of this castle.”
“So if something comes out of the Burgh… chances are it’s bad news?”
“Aye,” Brendan said, nodding. “Can count on one hand the number of benevolent beasties we’ve had come through. Darter’s one, for example, but even he came through with malicious intent — following a Redcap who planned to loot and pillage the whole area. It was Nancy who changed his mind, saved his life and turned him to our side. But his is not a common story.”
Elena felt a little bit guilty for assuming the little goblin had been a monster. It seemed he was a braver creature than she’d given him credit for — and a much more intelligent one, too, if he’d been able to make a moral choice like that. “And Maggie?”
“Oh, she’s not from the other side. She was born here. Her mother was a Gruagach, a Fae creature that looks — well, a lot like Maggie. But her father was a human shepherd. Rather short-sighted one, at that,” he added with amusement. “She was born nearby. I don’t doubt she’s visited the Fae a few times — the Sidhe assigned her to tend to the Monster, after all. She’s very good with animals. Eerily good.”
“But aside from those two…”
“Those two and Nessie — and the Sidhe — those are the only Seelie Fae we’ve had come through, aye,” Brendan said, looking solemn. “The majority that creep through are Unseelie and up to no good, unfortunately.”
“How can you tell the difference?” she asked, her meal forgotten. She was trying to keep her voice casual, trying to sound like a curious woman from the future — and it seemed to be working. Brendan seemed happy enough to talk about this stuff. And why wouldn’t he? It was his life’s work, after all, wasn’t it? Hunting and killing Unseelie Fae, creatures who came through the Burgh in search of mischief…
Creatures like Una?
“That’s a good question,” Brendan was saying thoughtfully, finishing the crust of his pie. “Most of the time, it’s pretty clear. The goblins attacked us immediately, the wolf did too… they’re not especially bright, most of them, and they don’t hide their nature.”
“But what about the intelligent ones? Could Unseelie Fae ever pretend to be good?” She frowned. “And is it really that simple? It’s never that simple with humans — good and bad, right and wrong. I know that from being a cop. If it was that easy… well, it’d be a different world, that’s for sure.”
“You’re not wrong,” Brendan said heavily. “But I can’t say I’ve had much experience with the more intelligent Unseelie Fae. I suppose it’s a bridge we’ll cross when we come to it. It’s a good thing we have you here,” he added with a smile. “You’ll be able to advise us.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that. He sounded sincere — like he’d actually care about her opinion. But it was easy to say the right thing when the situation was hypothetical. She couldn’t trust that he’d react like that if she told him about Una — revealed that a strange woman had been visiting with her on the docks, a woman who disappeared in the daytime and had apparently been able to hide her presence from the men on the walls. A woman who’d broken free of what had to have been a long imprisonment with the Sidhe… and a woman, more to the point, who’d freed Elena, too. But freed her from what? Everyone except Una just assumed that the Sidhe were good… but she just wasn’t sure that that was the case.
At any rate, she couldn’t afford to let Brendan know about her friend. It was clear that he took his duty to the guard very seriously — it was his
whole job, his whole life out here. He was hardly going to throw that away for her. If she told him about Una, it was likely that he and his men would do her harm.
But at the same time… what if Una was doing harm by being here? If she was an Unseelie Fae — which, if she distrusted the Sidhe and loathed them so much, it seemed likely she was — then was it also possible she was planning on doing harm to the villagers? Hadn’t that been what Brendan said — most Unseelie Fae came out and started making mischief? But from what she could tell, all Una had done was come and visit her on the docks. She couldn’t assume she was mischievous — or worse — just because she didn’t like the Sidhe.
There are just too many possibilities, Elena thought, gritting her teeth. How was she supposed to figure all this out? She’d need to go down to the docks again. She had a few questions for Una. And this time, she’d make sure nobody could see her from the battlements.
Chapter 33
Brendan walked her back to her room. She could feel her heart drumming in her chest as the moment of saying goodnight drew close — she knew already that she didn’t want to invite him inside. As much as her body might want him, she knew in her heart it was too soon, too early in their relationship to take such a big step. Elena had always been a little old-fashioned when it came to sex… she had friends who’d gladly sleep with a man on the first date, and she fully supported their choices — even wished she was more like that, sometimes — but she just couldn’t. Even though she’d known Brendan for a few weeks, despite how much she liked him… the idea of having sex with him just wasn’t something she could deal with. Not right then.
And aside from all the emotional complications — and her ongoing concerns about men of this time — there were practical concerns, too. Elena’s period was regular as clockwork, so it was easy enough to figure out when she was ovulating — the last thing she needed was an unplanned pregnancy, not with everything else going on. Nancy and Anna would have been thrilled, she knew, but … well, she had a suspicion that condoms hadn’t been invented in sixteenth century Scotland. No doubt there were ways of managing fertility, but she’d have to do a bit of research first. Would Anna and Nancy know? Probably, right? They were sensible, modern women — surely if there was an herbal remedy that actually worked (or a more physical barrier) they’d be across it. She wasn’t exactly looking forward to the smug looks on their faces when she asked, but that was a bridge to cross later.
Brendan cleared his throat as they reached her door, and she smiled at him, torn between conveying with her body language that she didn’t want him to come in… and not wanting him to think she didn’t like him at all. After a long, awkward pause, she stood up on her tip-toes to kiss him on the lips — not as passionately as their earlier kiss by Maggie’s cottage, but she tried to ensure that there was nothing friendly or platonic about it, either. He smiled down at her when she broke away from him, his eyes twinkling.
“I was beginning to worry I’d dreamed kissing you,” he said softly.
“No. But …” She hesitated. “You’ll have to be patient with me. Is that okay?”
He blinked, looking puzzled. “Of course, Elena. We’ve only known one another a couple of weeks. I’m in no rush, lass.”
They said their goodnights and he ambled off down the hall — she could hear him whistling cheerfully as he went, and she felt a broad grin spread across her face like sunlight when she stepped inside her little room. Of course he wasn’t going to be disappointed in her for not having sex with him — he wasn’t a monster, after all. God, she’d taken more damage than she’d thought from the terrible men she’d dated. Brendan liked her for her — for who she was, what she had to say, not just the opportunity to get laid. If he wanted that… well, she didn’t doubt there were options out there, she thought with a grin. They called it the world’s oldest profession for a reason, didn’t they? But that wasn’t what he wanted from her. He wanted her company. He wanted a relationship with her.
And she wanted that too, she realized with a dizzy rush. She wanted to spend more time with him, to get to know him better, to… yes, well, someday, she wanted to make love to him. She wasn’t blind to the way her body reacted to his, to how well they’d fit together. She loved his height, how much taller he was than her — she’d so often been as tall as or even taller than the men she dated. And he seemed to appreciate her height, too — she’d felt him smiling against her lips at how easy it was for her to move into his space and kiss him…
God, I’m getting all fluttery, she thought, a little amused and a little annoyed with herself for the strength of her feelings. She almost felt like a teenager again, gushing over some boy who’d showed her the least little bit of attention. All the more important to go slowly, she told herself firmly, ignoring the flare of impatience in her chest. After all, she had a lot on her mind — a lot of things to work out. All of these feelings would only get in the way of her own, private investigation of whether the Sidhe could really be trusted. Not to mention her ongoing concerns about whether the men of this era — or men in general, really — could really see her as an equal.
What is Una going to say? she wondered. For some reason, she felt like Una would sense that things had escalated between her and Brendan… the woman seemed to have a sixth sense about that kind of thing. She’d never seen her inside the castle walls, and yet she’d known about Elena’s growing friendship with Brendan… it would make sense for her to figure out that things had gotten a little more than friendly between them. Will she scold me? Elena wondered, feeling an odd pang of regret in her chest. Or would she just sigh in that resigned way she had and promise, again, to keep her safe, to protect her? And what exactly did she mean by that, anyway — protect her? She only came out at night, and she never came inside the castle… how exactly could she offer Elena any protection, even if she’d needed it?
It was a shame Una was so strange and difficult to talk to — it would be good to just sit down and have a serious chat, but Elena knew they’d probably wind up down one of their cryptic little rabbit holes a few minutes into the conversation. Still, she had to try. She was worried about Una — about what the guards might do to her if they found her, about whether she might be up to no good, out there in the dark. If Brendan was right about most things that came through the Burgh being mischievous or downright dangerous, then that probably applied to Una… right? But then again, didn’t Elena also fall into the category of people who’d come through the Burgh — and Anna and Nancy, for that matter, two members of the Castle in good standing? They hadn’t come for the purposes of mischief, had they?
And more to the point, she didn’t even know if Una was a Fae creature or not. She looked fairly human to Elena — her eyes were unusually dark, perhaps, but wasn’t it common for the Fae to alter the appearance of their guests? Maeve’s silver eyes weren’t normal, but she was entirely human, wasn’t she? Una may well have been just a human who’d fallen on the Sidhe’s bad side for whatever reason. Hadn’t she said something about being kept as a pet, used for the amusement of the Fae? What if that had been what she’d gone through at their hands?
Her plan had been to sleep until just before dawn, then to head down onto the docks to meet Una. But as she lay in bed, tossing and turning as her mind gnawed on the problem, she realized she wasn’t going to get any sleep at all until she’d seen Una. So, resolutely, she got out of bed, pulling on the jacket she’d worn riding with Brendan earlier that day. She smiled a little, remembering the way he’d slipped it over her shoulders when they left Maggie’s cottage — an unconscious little touch of chivalry… but then she hardened her heart, trying to put Brendan out of her mind. She had important questions to ask. This was an investigation — she was heading for an interview. Time to get her head in cop mode.
The castle always felt so strange late at night — it was usually full of so much hustle and bustle that to walk down deserted corridors felt bizarre. She kept her footsteps light and quiet, moving softly down
the hall. Usually, she was quiet to avoid waking people out of politeness… but tonight, there was an extra layer of not wanting to be discovered. She headed quietly down the spiral staircase and slipped across the foyer like a shadow, shivering a little as the cold night air touched her skin. The nights were getting cooler and cooler — she had to admit, she was dreading winter. Baltimore got pretty cold in the winter, but she had no idea what a Scottish winter was going to be like… and in Baltimore, she had the luxury of heating in every room of her house.
Putting thoughts of home out of her mind, she slipped across the courtyard, keeping to the shadows of the castle and its walls as much as possible. The men on the walls, as always, were noticeable by their torches — she waited for a gap to open up on the part of the wall that overlooked the docks, then ran down the stairs toward her usual meeting place with Una. But instead of heading down to the end of the jetty, she lingered at the base of the wall, peering up toward where the men would be standing as they looked out over the lake. Yes — this was definitely a blind spot. Unless the men leaned way out over the wall and stared straight down at the base, they wouldn’t see her… and if she kept her voice low, they’d have no reason to do that.
She stood, rubbing her hands together. Una would be along presently, she knew — the woman had an odd knack for turning up right when Elena did. She shifted from foot to foot, trying to keep warm as she waited, her mind on the list of questions she needed to ask the woman. Was it rude, to ask someone whether they were human or not? Would it be more polite to ask if she was Fae? Which one was the worse thing to be? She felt like she’d be a little insulted to be asked if she were human… but then again, she’d been raised in a world where that was the only option for beings who looked like her. She also had to ask her more about the Sidhe — about her history with them, why they’d been keeping her prisoner.
Swept By The Highlander: A Scottish Time Travel Romance-Highlander Forever Book 3 Page 20
