by Serena Lyons
It must be Callum; electricity jolts out from his touch. I turn and he’s staring down at me, an enigmatic expression on his annoyingly handsome face.
“Sorry about the interruption.”
“I’m not sure it’s me you need to be apologising to. Saying you’re not involved with someone means jack shit if you’re kissing them and going home with them at night.” I burn up again as I realise my words could be interpreted as me wanting to be involved with Callum after we went home together.
Callum reaches past me to grab both the shots, just assuming one is his. “I’m not going to apologise for taking you back to my house. I know you loved it.” He passes me one shot and our eyes lock. There’s a dark desire in his eyes that I’m certain must be reflected in my own.
I can’t really breathe when he’s looking at me like this, devouring me with his eyes.
“Part of me wants nothing more than to bend over and kiss you.” My lips part as he speaks, my body responding to him. I want to feel his lips against mine again. I want to kiss him so hard that he forgets kissing Jess earlier, so that I’m the only woman seared on his brain. “But it’s good we leave it there. A one-off.”
“A one-off.” I parrot, my head foggy. I was certain he wanted to kiss me, but now he’s talking about never doing it again.
“To fun one-offs.” He clinks his glass against mine and downs it.
My hear is whirring too much for me to copy him immediately. Him deciding our hook-up was a one-off, never to be repeated, isn’t exactly going to help with my plan to gather evidence on what he did to Millie.
“Don’t look so sad.” His finger grazes my chin, and a shiver wracks my body. “I promise you, I’m not worth messing up your cheer spot for.”
“True that. But something tells me the damage might already be done.” I drain the shot trying to ignore the bittersweet disappointment running through me. I can think up another plan for getting close to Callum and getting some evidence, I just need some time to do it.
But for tonight, Callum’s right. Trying to get anything more out of him tonight will just antagonising Jess who’s still starring over at us and won’t lead to a great cheer team spirit.
“Enjoy your evening, I’m going to dance.” I wave at him, trying to look nonplussed and move to the centre of the dancefloor.
I manage to dance to two songs, but for once my heart isn’t in it and it doesn’t stop my mind from racing. How the hell am I am going to get any evidence on Callum when he’s nuked the possibility of us hooking up again? Staying at the party any longer isn’t going to achieve anything, I slink to the darkest edge of the dancefloor and take the long way back to my room, through the shadows so he doesn’t see me leave and think I’m heartbroken by his announcement that nothing’s going to happen between us again.
That’s not what’s happening. I just need to figure out another way to get close to him and get some evidence. I can’t fall at the first sign of difficulty. He won’t graduate until June, I have eight months to bring him down.
Still, somehow it’s not revenge I’m thinking of as I close my eyes. The dark desire that glowed out from him as he leaned in to give me the shot, fills my head.
His words echo. “Part of me wants nothing more than to bend over and kiss you.” I curl around the pillow holding that thought centre in my mind, not willing to examine why it matters to me so much. Telling myself that I’m not pretending it’s Callum Carter-Wright I’m holding, instead of a lump of foam. I’m not surprised when I wake up panting from a fevered dream of kissing him though.
He’s gotten deep into my mind.
11: Faith
The rest of the weekend is pretty quiet. Nina and I meet at a pub to play board games and I can breathe easy knowing no one from college is likely to spot us. I don’t bump into Callum anywhere, and Jess is almost as friendly as she was before she knew my name at cheer practice. Almost. Her stare narrows into bullets when she thinks I’m not looking.
As soon as I get home after practice I add her on Instagram. Her feed is as polished as I’d have expected; Jess flicking back her long hair as she laughs with friends, stunningly beautiful sunset in glamorous locations. She clearly comes from a much fancier family than mine. Half her posts from the past six months are of her and Callum with the hashtags #mybestie #handsoffladies #onlyjoking.
There’s no way she’s joking, she sees Callum as hers. But to find out anything more about him and Millie, I’m going to have to trample over that assumption. My stomach churns, Jess seems nice, apart from her possessiveness over Callum, and I don’t want to ruffle feathers on the cheer squad, but I have to get closer to Callum to find out more.
I have to understand what really happened. That’s the only reason I’m here. I can’t carry on like this, just waiting to get the opportunity to discover more. It won’t get me any closer to finding out the truth about Millie, or do my sanity any good.
On Monday and Tuesday, I take extra care with my new hair and make-up and hang around the porter’s lodge, hoping to bump into Callum, but he’s no where to be seen. It’s almost like he’s avoiding me.
Then on Wednesday afternoon it works. The natural red highlights in his hair glimmer as he walks into college, looking like a Demi-god from a Greek classic. My breath catches in my throat as I watch him move, his powerful muscles rippling underneath his tight black t-shirt and jeans. It’s getting cold, it’s mid-October now, but Callum doesn’t seem to notice.
“Cal!” I shout, then saunter over to him taking care to make sure my hips sashay with every step. “Just the man I was hoping to see.”
“Faith.” He draws out my name while he scans the length of my body, the growing smile on his face telling me he likes what he sees. “Why did you want to see me?”
“I had a question about philosophy electives.”
“Which is…?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Perhaps we could talk about it over a drink.” My lips feel rubbery as I suggest it, and I race through the second half of the sentence. I’ve never asked a guy out before, and now I’ve just asked the hottest man I’ve ever met out.
He bites his bottom lip, looking tempted, but then he shakes his head. “I’ve got rugby practice right now.”
“Later then?” My cheeks feel pink. I didn’t think he’d turn me down. “Do you have plans tonight?”
“No, but…” Callum’s eyes darken to navy. “I’m not a nice guy, Faith. Spend too much time with me and you will get hurt. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Millie, he must be referring to what he did to Millie. It’s funny how being with him sometimes makes me forget the evil that lies beneath his gilded surface.
“Thanks for the warning, but I’m a grown-up, I can do my own risk assessment.”
“Maybe see you later then.” Callum moves to unlock his bike from the rack. “You know where I live.” He winks. I’ve never considered winks anything other than creepy before, but Christ alive, he manages to infuse it with so much promise that there’s no question I’ll be at his doorstep later. I don’t understand how I can be appalled by him, yet also attracted at the same time
“Maybe see you later.” I reply as he jumps on his bike and powers off. I want to play it as cool as possible, keeping him guessing.
When I turn back to college, Jess and her friends are right behind me, staring at me like I’m a bug that needs to be squashed. Of course they’d have turned up as I was flirting with Callum.
Jess is staring at me, her mouth slightly open, her eyes dark with anger. She barely resembles the same bubbly woman who welcomed me into the cheer squad a few days ago.
I pull my jacket tight around me. “Hey, Jess.” I smile as best I can, but she spins around like she can’t hear me. My smile falters as her three friends glare at me. “Hi.” I force my voice to be friendly and I wave at them, even though I want to run off and hide.
“So what they say about Northern trash is true?” The redhead says.
“Excuse me
?”
“Only a dirty slut would go after another girl’s man. Especially a teammate’s man. You’ve shown your true colours, charity case, don’t expect anyone at Westforde to give a shit about you once Callum’s gotten bored with you. I can’t imagine you’ll hold his attention for long.” She wrinkles her nose then turns after Jess.
“Whatever.” I march towards the library before she can insult me any further. I want to yell back at her for judging me, but part of me knows she’s right. I am acting like a cow to Jess. It’s for good reasons, but they can’t ever know that.
I skip dinner while I firm up my plan for seducing Callum. There’s no question that I need to go to his. And this time I can’t wimp out and run off. I can’t get scared, no matter what he does to unbutton me.
I can’t go too early though, I want him to wonder about whether I’m really coming. To think that I’ve changed my mind and be so disappointed, he’s unable to resist me when I finally turn up.
At eight-thirty I jump in the shower. As I rub the gel over my body, it almost feels like foreplay. I’m already trembling in anticipation of Callum’s touch later. There’ll be nothing to stop us tonight, and I can’t deny that I’m expecting him to undo me in ways I can hardly imagine.
That first night was only a warm-up. I barely touched him, didn’t feel his hard muscles against me, didn’t experience everything that he can do and he still tore me apart. Tonight, I won’t say no.
Remember, you’re only pretending to like him. I scold myself as I pull on jeans and my sexiest top: thin silk that barely disguises my curves. I shouldn’t be excited about this, I just need to get closer to him to find out the truth. And take him down.
It’s nearly ten by the time I set off. Hopefully he’ll be wondering why I didn’t turn up just about now.
The route to his house is burnt on my memory. The streets are busier today, even though it’s colder still. It’s the first proper week of term, so all the students have returned to university now. Our college is one of the first to come back after the long summer vacation. It’s all about building strong and exclusive social networks here, whereas the other colleges have less emphasis on extracurricular activities, more on academics.
The lights glow bright from Callum’s sitting room window as I turn on to his street. I gulp. This is it, no going back. Fluffing up my hair, I walk up the steps. I notice more about his house—well, mansion—today than I did that first night, when I was distracted by the raw magnetism between us. The front door is bright purple, like his couch was and there is a huge, ornate, golden knocker in the middle of it. I pick it up.
Rap, rap, rap. At least my knock sounds more confident than I feel.
Music soars from inside and something tells me my knock isn’t going to be enough to get Callum’s attention. I’m leaning up to press the doorbell when I realise it’s not recorded music, someone is playing the piano I saw. Soft, sweeping notes surround me like a lullaby, the performance is so perfect it sounds like a recording of a recital.
I listen for a moment, letting the soft arcs of music fill my soul, then press down on the doorbell.
Bring.
The music slows. I was right, someone is playing live.
Bring.
This time it stops. I breathe in deeply, suddenly shaky. Maybe this wasn’t such a clever idea. Even though I’m determined to take Callum down, there’s an animalistic part of me that longs to touch him. If I spend the night, I might get caught too deep.
I turn to flee, but before I can run down the steps, the door swings open. It’s Callum staring at me, a half-smile touches his lips, before his face shuts down into a scowl.
“I didn’t think you were coming.”
“Lovely to see you too.” I force myself to smile. “I thought we needed to clear the air between us.”
He stands firm, his muscular frame blocking the door. “Did you now? What in the world could give you that impression?”
I rise up another step, slightly evening out the difference in our heights. “I don’t know… possibly the fact you’re the teaching assistant for my course, and even Professor Headley picked up on the tension between us.”
His cheek twitches, but he says nothing.
“I didn’t realise your little ego would get so offended by me running out last week. Poor baby.”
His twitch moves faster, it’s like he’s biting his cheek from the inside. “That’s not what’s happening.”
“Want to tell me what is happening then? I don’t want three years of this.”
He inhales, his lips moving but nothing coming out.
“Please, Callum. It’s week two in college and you’re avoiding me, which means everyone else is acting like I have a big sign saying ‘keep away’ over my head. I want to know what the hell is going on.”
His face softens, he must hear the truth in what I’m saying. “Fine, I guess you better come in.” He spins on his heel and I follow him.
It’s exactly the same route we took last week to the room with the purple couch. Everything between us couldn’t be more different though. We’re a million miles away from that hungry couple desperate for each other. I try to ignore the warm feeling in my stomach at the memory of how he made me come apart on the very couch I’m standing next to.
“You were playing?” I point towards the open lid of the grand piano. “It sounded beautiful.”
“You don’t need to flatter me.”
“I’m not, it was good. Like Vladimir Horowitz good…” I mention my favourite pianist.
He looks at me, really looks, hard and penetrating, “You play?”
“I wish. I’m just a connoisseur, I like to listen to the old masters.”
“You don’t play any instruments?” His eyebrows knit together. “Why not if you’re a connoisseur?”
It’s sweet really, his question. Oh, to be so privileged. Doesn’t he realise instruments and lessons aren’t cheap? I don’t say this though, this isn’t the image I want to project. “I concentrated on dance instead.” Because there were free lessons in the village hall.
“Sit down.” He gestures towards the couch.
Our eyes meet, his darken with desire and I’m sure he’s remembering last week too. The feel of our bodies pressed against each other. The way my heart raced. How he made me explode with pleasure I never expected I had inside me.
I don’t sit down. I step closer to him instead.
He gulps visibly and looks up and down the length of my body.
Oh, I know his weak spot.
“You’re not gonna join me?” I tip my head to one side and put a hand on my hip.
He is so predictable, his eyes dip to the exaggerated curves of my body and he swallows deeply. “I’m fine here.” He turns his head to looking towards the back window. He’s like a small kid who thinks that if he covers his eyes so he can’t see the danger, it won’t affect him anymore. I learnt that’s not true many years ago.
I have to be forward, that much is clear. If I act like I want to, like the real me, he’s just going to send me home and I’ll lose any chance of finding out what really happened between him and Millie.
I step closer, so there’s only an inch between our bodies. “I thought we were getting on so well last week?” I simper running a hand down the flank of his arm.
He coughs. “You’re the one that ran off,” but his words aren’t as tight as before. He’s softening.
“What can I say? I wasn’t expecting what happened between us to be so… powerful.” I’m still stroking his arm.
He exhales like his body has been filled with tension.
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want it to happen again.” I move another half inch closer, so that the next time I breathe in, my body will rub against his. “Unless that’s what you want?” I bite down on my bottom lip, his eyes drop to them and then he’s leaning, slowly moving closer towards me.
Everything fades to just Callum’s face falling towards mine. I can’t remember why I
am doing this, all I know is I want nothing more than to kiss him right now.
Finally our lips touch. He’s gentler than last time. I’m sober and something tells me he is too. We kiss softly at first, our lips pressing butterfly-light against each other as we discover that yes, we both need this. Desire blooms out from his touch and I step closer to him, feeling him growl into my mouth as I press my body against his, lighting a wildfire of hunger between us that can’t be stopped.
His body is hard against my softness and his hands stroke the length of my back, pulling me closer. We’re kissing properly now: tongues exploring each others’ mouths, hands pulling the other closer, bodies glued together. Everything quietens in my head to just the feel of Callum. No one has ever kissed me like this before. Unbundled me so that I can hardly remember who I am. All I know is that this feels amazing and I never want it to stop.
Callum seems to feel the same way. His hands to drop to my rear and he squeezes tight, pulling me against his front, so I can’t help but feel the hardening in his jeans. I grind against him, hot waves of need blooming out from the point where we’re connected. I want both of our jeans to disappear, for nothing to be stopping us connecting fully, in the most intimate way possible.
“Christ, you’re delicious,” Callum gasps, stroking my cheek as he pants down at me his pupils wide with desire. “If I get rid of this—” He tugs at my blouse—“Do you promise not to get scared and run off on me again?”
“I promise.” I bite my lip and gaze up at him, my heart thudding with desire. “I’m not running anywhere tonight.”
“Excellent news.” He bends to kiss me again and then we step it up a gear. He pulls my top over my head and I’m scrambling to undo his buttons. I need to feel more. I want his bare skin against mine. I want to touch every inch of him. I want him inside me.
Callum stops kissing me and smiles as if he can read every dirty thought in my head.
I undo the last of his buttons and he steps away from me, smiling wickedly as he pushes his shirt off his shoulders. His chest makes me gasp; ripped with muscles that I want to rub against and scattered with tattoos. The biggest is writing on the left side of his chest, above his heart. I glance down wondering what it says, but then he surprises me by moving further away and my gaze snaps up to his face.
