by steve higgs
‘No,’ cackled Tempest. ‘He’ll go nuts, but Patience will be my friend for life.’
‘What’s going on?’ I asked, confused by their exchange. I knew the people they were talking about but quite why setting one up with the other was funny I had no idea.
Tempest glanced at Amanda, then turned to me so he could explain. ‘Big Ben and Patience have a little history. She likes him but he prides himself on never, um…’
‘He never sleeps with the same woman twice,’ Amanda finished the sentence for him. ‘Patience is apparently the only one to have achieved that feat in years and she is hungry for more.’
‘So you are going to set them up because it will be funny?’ I confirmed.
‘Yup,’ they said simultaneously.
Tempest took out his phone and opened a note. ‘Who else do we invite? It’s a big night at a manor house. It could be fun.’
Amanda turned back to her computer. ‘I don’t know many couples. Just single girls and I’m not letting them anywhere near Big Ben. You could invite Frank though, it sounds weird so he’ll love it. I don’t know if he has a plus one but knowing him, he’ll turn up with a Wookie or the invisible man or something. It might be fun to have a group though; I get on well with Jagjit and Alice,’ Amanda said, referring to one of Tempest’s oldest friends and his new wife. It was their honeymoon they had crashed in France when the Yeti showed up.
‘Sure. I’ll have a think about it and see who wants to come.’ Tempest slid his phone back into a pocket and backed away from Amanda’s office. ‘Before I get on with anything else, let’s have a catch up on the last week, yes?’
The question was directed at me so the two of us settled into the couches in the reception/waiting area and I went through what had been happening, taking him all the way back to Annabelle Forsythe and her brush with the vampire. Tempest nodded and paid attention, stopping me at one point so he could invite Amanda to come and listen too.
I was nervous about telling them what I had been doing because it was way outside of my job description and had I messed things up it might have embarrassed the firm. They didn’t see it like that though; they thought I had grabbed the fumbled ball and run to the goal, or something like that. I’m not very good at sports analogies. They were seriously impressed that I had just grabbed a case and solved it and then didn’t even feel the need to tell anyone about it. I kept it secret because I wasn’t sure how they would react, but they thought I was just the coolest, most ego-in-control person they had ever met.
I sure felt good about sharing. So then I told them about the Sandman and getting almost burnt to death in Karen’s little house. I finished that tale with a smile, and that was when I saw their expressions.
‘The client’s house got burnt down?’ asked Amanda.
‘Um,’
My attention swung to Tempest when he spoke. ‘You’re kidding right?’
‘Um,’
Amanda said, ‘Okay,’ as she grimaced at Tempest and my head swung to look at her again. I felt like I was watching tennis. ‘We need to get a grip on this now.’
‘What’s happening?’ I asked, my worry starting to rise.
Tempest and Amanda stood up at the same time. ‘I’ll call the insurers,’ Tempest said as he pulled out his phone.
Amanda’s phone appeared in her hand as well. ‘I need the name and number for the client.’ Then she saw the panicked look on my face and let her shoulders relax. ‘Look, it’s probably nothing, but with a member of the firm on the premises, it would be easy for the client to argue that our presence was connected to the arson and we need to get ahead of that before it happens.’
I had my palms either side of my face. I was mortified. ‘Oh, lord. I had no idea.’
‘Don’t sweat it,’ Tempest said as he finished his call. ‘The insurers are going to send over some forms for the client to sign. Essentially, she will sign away her right to sue us at a later date. Before I proceed though, I have to ask; is there any way that your presence at her house could have been a contributing factor in the arson attack?’
I shook my head instinctively, then said, ‘Wait. I don’t know. Maybe.’ When they both looked at me, I shrugged. ‘How can I tell?’
Tempest nodded and skewed his lips to one side and then the other as he thought. ‘I’m going to discuss it with her and see where that leaves us. Do you have my car keys?’
‘Ah, yeah, sure.’ I fetched them from my bag, unhooking the shiny Porsche key from the others with a tinge of sadness.
Ten minutes later I was alone in the office and wanted something to kick. Tempest had called Karen Gilbert, charmed the pants off her and arranged to go directly to Matilda’s house so he could see her. Amanda let him get on with it; he seemed to have it under control, but two minutes after he left, she went out as well. She had a case that was worth looking into and had already arranged to visit the prospective client.
Silently stewing over how my move from office admin assistant to paranormal detective had plummeted from triumph to miserable failure, I realised I hadn’t even told them about the Biddenden Lake case. I wasn’t going to call Tempest right now though, that was for sure.
My sullen mood was interrupted when the door opened. It was not long after nine o’clock so we were open for business and people did drop in from time to time. I fixed on my professional face to look up at the door. Coming through it though was some kind of giant beast.
Reformed Ogre. Monday, December 5th 0911hrs
Tensing in my chair as adrenalin hit my system and told me I needed to run to the back door, the creature’s face came around the edge of the door and said, ‘Hello.’ It was Arthur. I don’t think he noticed the sigh of relief I exhaled, but his face crinkled with confusion as I fanned myself with a handy notebook. I was getting jumpy.
‘Hello, Arthur. Good morning. You are looking well. I must say I like your new clothes.’
‘Good morning,’ he replied, then looked down at himself. Arthur was wearing a hat. Not a bobble hat or something he might have found in a second-hand shop, but a fedora. At least, I think the correct name for the style is a fedora. Whatever the case, he had on a new hat and it went with the full-length rain mac he wore and then I saw that he had on proper shoes. His beard was still a little unruly but it was washed and I couldn’t see any bits of twig in it anymore. Where was the tramp I knew? He even had on a tie. As he doffed his hat, he said, ‘You mean these old things? My tailor was always good at making things fit, I suppose.’ I laughed at his joke; tramps with tailors. He was through the door now and checking it shut behind him as it was cold outside. ‘Is this a good time?’ He paused just inside the doorway and sniffed.
I stood up to speak with him rather than sit behind the desk. ‘There was an incident with a fish,’ I explained. ‘A good time for what? What can I help you with?’
‘I’m here to thank you, actually. You and Tempest. I don’t know what I would have done without your help. Is he here?’
I looked at the giant bear of a man before me and felt both joy and sorrow. His was a sad tale but one which I hoped might now have a happier ending. ‘He’s not, I’m afraid,’ I said to answer his question. ‘He will be pleased to hear you are doing better though.’
‘Yes. Yes, I am doing better, and I have you two to thank for that.’ Then, with a lurching movement he reached forward to grab my right hand and got down on one knee.
Oh, my friggin’ lord, he was about to propose. ‘Arthur what are you doing?’ I squeaked.
Looking directly at me, for down on one knee his head was now at the same height as mine, he said, ‘I pledge to come to your aid should you ever need it. While I may always be an ogre, I am also Sir Arthur and I will defend and protect you against all evil. Should you ever need my help, I will answer your call. No quest will prove too demanding, no villain too terrible.’
Then the door opened again, and Jan walked in. He opened his mouth to speak then took in the scene before him and skidded to a stop. Art
hur still had his hand in mine and was still in classic marriage proposal pose. Jan held up his hands and started to back out the door, apologizing with his eyes for interrupting.
I said, ‘Stop.’ The instruction aimed at Jan who was at the door and about to open it. He looked utterly bewildered. ‘Arthur get up you great lummox. You are incredibly sweet, but I cannot imagine a scenario where I will need a reformed ogre to come to my rescue.’ Arthur let go of my hand and pushed on his bent knee to get himself back upright. I saw Jan mouth the word, ‘Wow!’ as Arthur got to his full height.
The giant man smiled at me. ‘When ever your call comes, I will be ready, Miss Jane. Do not forget; Sir Arthur is in your debt.’ Then he bowed deeply, bid me a good day and left, Jan holding the door open to let him out.
‘How big is that guy?’ commented Jan once Arthur was gone. ‘I’ve never seen a guy that big. Where the heck does he buy trousers?’ Jan was in uniform today and he looked delicious. As Arthur left, Jan was peering over the frosted section of the glass front window to watch him walk down the street which meant I was presented with a perfect shot of his pert bottom.
When he turned around, I was still staring at the same spot, fantasizing a little, only now I was staring at his groin and he saw me do it. A grin broke out on his face.
I caught myself and blushed deeply, turning away to cover my embarrassment. My cheeks were getting overworked recently. ‘Goodness, is it hot in here?’ I asked as I fanned my face again to dissipate the heat radiating off it. Remembering that I didn’t know why Jan was here, I asked him.
‘Oh, I just wanted to clear the air after yesterday.’
‘There’s really no need,’ I assured him, secretly glad he had come to see me even if he was doing it because he thought I was a girl.
‘Well, I hadn’t expected ol’ Quinn to be so abrupt with you. I had no idea he was going to take you off the case. Of course, he doesn’t have to share his plans with us lowly constables and I can assure you he doesn’t.’
‘Yes, well, it’s done now.’ I was thinking about how I was going to tell him I wasn’t a girl, but I wasn’t comfortable doing it. I suppose it sounds easy to do; ‘Hey I’m actually a guy inside this cute dress.’ Easy, right? It wasn’t though. I hadn’t ever had this problem before. The Jane personality was only a few months old and her development had taken time. The fake bra was only weeks old and the voice just as new. Until recently, it was easier to tell I was a guy, but I liked the full transformation and I wasn’t going backwards now. I gave up and asked him a question instead. ‘Listen, I have a question.’
He flipped his eyebrows to show he was listening. ‘Go on.’
‘Is anyone looking into whether this could be an inside job?’ His confused face told me he didn’t follow. ‘I got a message to back off from the case yesterday. A threatening message,’ I added just in case it hadn’t been clear.
Now he frowned at me, coming forward to see if I was serious. ‘Someone threatened you?’
I leaned back against my desk, putting one bum cheek on it. ‘You notice the wonderful fishy aroma?’ I asked.
Jan frowned again. ‘Yeah? Oh, you mean that wasn’t him?’ he pointed over his shoulder. I had to concede that if I saw Arthur and detected a bad smell at the same time, I might connect the two things erroneously as well.
I shook my head. ‘No, someone threw a pair of rotten fish at the office front window and they had a message inside them.’
‘Inside the fish?’
‘Inside the wrapping that went around the fish. They were… nevermind. The point is someone told me to back off.’
‘What did the message say. Exactly, I mean. What were the exact words? Better yet, can I see it?’
‘Yeah,’ I drawled. ‘There was a bit of an issue and the fish and the message is gone.’
‘Gone?’
‘Gone. Look, there’s nothing I can do about the fish or the message. It said I should back off or I would suffer and the only case I have been looking into was the Biddenden Lake case. So, the question I started with was whether anyone was looking into the possibility that someone from the police is the killer. The victims are all police, the killings, assuming the first one is not connected, are copycat killings using the kind of detail no one from the public would know and I am being told to back off when the only people outside of the police who knew I was involved are my grandmother and Jennifer Lasseter.’
I could see he wasn’t convinced. ‘I get what you are saying,’ he conceded. ‘The answer though is no. Chief Inspector Quinn has not raised the idea that it could be one of our own and to my knowledge neither has anyone else.’
Was I barking up the wrong tree? ‘What do you think?’ I asked.
‘About the killer being a cop? I need some time to think about it, but I suppose there is no reason to rule it out. My gut reaction says it won’t be, I am struggling to work out what their motivation might be. That was true before though.’
‘What about Jennifer Lasseter?’
His radio crackled as a message came across and I fell silent while he listened to work out if he needed to react. Behind him, the door opened yet again, and another blast of cold air swept in around my stockinged legs. We rarely got this many visitors in a day but the third drop in this morning wasn’t a client either; it was Jan’s partner, a short brunette woman in her late twenties. I recognized her from somewhere.
She shivered as she closed the door. ‘It’s starting to rain, Jan, and it’s cold. I’m not waiting outside any longer so you can try to score.’ Jan was looking right at me as his cheeks flushed. So he was thinking about asking me out. His partner was a bit of a cow though, calling him out like that.
I did the decent thing and moved the conversation on. ‘Jennifer Lasseter. Have you met her?’
‘No, why?’ he asked looking relieved that I didn’t react to his colleague’s comment.
His partner heard me say Jennifer’s name and came closer so she could join the conversation. ‘Did I hear you say Jennifer Lasseter? Isn’t that the woman we falsely accused and arrested for the first drowning three years ago?’
Jan nodded. ‘Jane thinks the murderer leaving bodies for us to find might be a cop.’
His partner just laughed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Jan. Now, come on. We have to get going. Ask her out or don’t but we have work to do. I’ll be in the car.’
‘Have we met?’ I asked just as she turned to leave. She looked familiar but also somehow not, like I had seen her face but it had changed since.
‘Yes. You saw me at the station a few days ago,’ she replied. ‘I was in Chief Inspector Quinn’s office when you arrived on Friday.’
She went back out the door, leaving Jan and me staring at each other with a stilted silence stretching out. When he opened his mouth to speak, I jumped in quickly to beat him to it. ‘I doubt I’m your type.’ I said quickly.
He dropped his gaze to the floor and nodded. When he looked back up two seconds later, his usual grin was back in place. ‘Worth a try. You have my number if you change your mind.’ Then with a wave, he was gone too, and I was left in the office by myself.
I settled behind my desk, trying to force my brain to focus on the work I had, not the boy I fancied. There were business emails to attend to, invoices to raise and some basic accountancy to deal with since Tempest returned from France with a not-insubstantial amount of Euros.
I didn’t get very far though when I saw the heading of an email near the top of my screen.
Threats. Monday, December 5th 1022hrs
The email subject line read, ‘You’re dead meat!’ It was quite the opening gambit. Clicking the email though gave me everything I needed. The person sending the email didn’t sign it to give me their name, but I didn’t need it. I had their email address and could trace their IP back to where the email originated. That wouldn’t even take me very long.
The body of the email contained this message:
‘I told you to back off. If the fi
sh were not enough of a deterrent, don’t worry, I’m done with threats. You didn’t listen so next time I see you with him, I’m going to gut you like a fish.’
A cold shiver passed down my spine. I wasn’t used to being threatened. The message to back off had been a little worrying but it suggested no escalation of violence to follow. This was something else. How would I deal with it though? The first thing was to track his IP address to his actual address. Most people don’t know you can do this. It doesn’t even take any special skills. I simply copied it from the source code in his email, pasted it into a site called WheresthisIPaddress.com and clicked show. What popped up was a map with a pin stuck in it. As I zoomed in, I could see houses and cars and even people. It was like a Google Earth map that displayed a frozen shot from the last time the satellite passed overhead. It took a few more minutes to cross check so I had an accurate picture but by looking at a map with street names on, I knew which street the email had come from and roughly where in that street. I printed the maps off.
When I saw a chance to find the person sending the email, I got excited because I thought perhaps it was the killer, but the latest message was all about me staying away from someone. I was confused, not just because I didn’t know who it was they expected me to stay away from, but also because I had thought the fish were from the killer. Now I figured they probably weren’t.
The office back door banged open, scaring me half to death as I had been so focused on the idea of being gutted like a fish.
‘All sorted,’ said Tempest. Putting his bag down and unwinding his scarf. His two dogs came bounding through the office, bouncing off one another in their excitement. With his scarf and coat hung on the coatrack he commented that, ‘It’s raining hard out there now, my wipers could barely keep up.’ Then he froze. ‘Everything alright?’
‘Um,’
‘I’m going to take that as a no,’ he said, starting to move again. ‘If you are worrying about Karen Gilbert, don’t. She doesn’t blame us at all. She was happy to sign the forms so there’s nothing to worry about there.’ He went over to the coffee machine to switch it on then turned back to look at me again. ‘That wasn’t it though, was it?’
