by Lilly Atlas
A hard mask fell over Izzy’s features. “Well, that won’t fucking happen. I’ll kill him myself before he gets near her.” Reaching across the center console, Izzy hugged Shell. “You already know the answer, Shell. But I get that you need to have someone say it to you, so I will. You need to tell Copper. All of it, back from the beginning when you were a kid and Rusty took advantage of you. It may get ugly for a time, but your man is solid. He’ll listen, and he’ll take it in, and he’ll believe you. Even if it’s not the moment the words are spoken. He will also protect you and that sweet kid of yours with his life. And if he fucks this up? If he doesn’t believe you? Every other man in the club will, and they’ll beat some fucking sense into him.”
Shell huffed an exhausted laugh. God, it felt good for someone to have her back. Someone to validate her fears and help guide her in the right direction. Izzy was right. Shell knew what she had to do but needed someone to push her off the ledge. Now that she was dangling by her fingertips, there was nothing left to do but drop.
“You’re the best, Izzy.”
“You got that right, girl. And I’m about to get even better. I’m coming with you.”
“What?” Shell pulled back and stared at her friend.
Wrapping the tail of her very long braid around her fist, Izzy nodded again. “I’m coming with you. Moral support, back-up, strength in numbers, girl power, whatever you want to call it. We’ll do it together.”
Resigned to the horrible task, Shell sighed. “Thank you. Let’s get it over with.
With each mile that passed, Shell’s stomach coiled tighter, and her insides shook harder. By the time they pulled into the clubhouse, her heart was lodged in her throat, pounding so hard she felt each pulse in her neck.
Like a prisoner being led to death row, Shell walked unseeing through the clubhouse straight to Copper’s door. Nothing registered. She had no idea who was hanging around, what time it was, or if anyone noticed how off she was. Standing in front of Copper’s door, trembling, she lifted her hand to knock on the door.
Her arm froze.
Almost a full minute later, Izzy knocked. Shell hadn’t been able to do it. Her fist had refused to curl and track to the door.
“’S open,” Copper called out.
“We got this, girl.” Izzy gave her a thumbs up.
Shell wasn’t so sure. Her stomach churned like the ocean after a hurricane. There was a very high chance she’d be making use of Copper’s trash can. Her brain told her legs to move, but the damn things just wouldn’t obey.
“Said it’s fucking open,” Copper yelled.
“Go.” Izzy nudged her forward, and Shell opened the door.
“H-hey, hon,” she said popping her head in the office. Strong. She had to be strong enough to get the words out and stand by Copper when they wrecked him.
Copper’s face lit up at the sight of her, which only made her feel worse. “Hey, gorgeous! Didn’t know you were coming by, but damn am I glad to see you. Sorry I snapped. Thought you were Rocket coming to bother me with bullshit. I’ve been expecting him since he walked in late a while ago.” He sprang up—as much as a giant man could spring—and had her in his arms, stealing her breath through her mouth before she even pushed the door all the way open.
A throat cleared behind them making Copper lift his head. “Oh, hey, Iz. Sorry, didn’t see you there.” No shame in being caught devouring Shell. He shifted his gaze between the two women. “You ladies are looking pretty glum. You’re not just here to make out with me, are you, babe?”
“No. We—I need to talk to you about something important.” The words felt like they were dragged out of her desert-dry throat by someone else.
“This a door closed kind of conversation?”
She swallowed, trying to speak again when Izzy said. “Please.”
“Shit. Okay, come on in. Have a seat, Izzy.” Copper shut the door, keeping one hand curled around Shell’s. Then he drew her to his giant leather desk chair and guided her down to his lap.
She remained stiff as a board, unable to relax into him knowing she was about to topple his world.
“What’s going on?”
“I think—” Shell cleared her throat. “I mean, I saw—” Closing her eyes, Shell shook her head. She couldn’t bear to look at him. “Just a minute.”
“Want me to say it, Shell?” Izzy asked, her voice unusually compassionate.
Copper’s arms tightened around her waist. “She can get it out,” he said. “Give her a minute.”
Oh, his faith in her. That undeserved faith that made her love him even more than she thought possible.
Part of her was tempted to spit the words out with her eyes closed, but despite her past secrets and fears, she wasn’t a coward. So, she opened her eyes, gave Copper her gaze, and said, “Yesterday, when you saw me talking to Rusty at the park? I spotted him handing over a very large stack of money to a man I didn’t recognize. On the shorter side, baggy clothes, hoodie covering his face. They were smoking. Meth, I think. And after Rusty handed him the money, he gave Rusty a big package of drugs. Rusty spotted me and pretty much confirmed my thinking that he stole from the club and was selling drugs when he came over and threatened me. That was right before you arrived.” The words rushed out in one long breath as though a quick Band-Aid rip would make some kind of difference.
Behind her, Copper stiffened and just stared at her.
Heart pounding, she remained silent waiting for his response. Izzy didn’t speak but nodded along with her words, her face grim.
“You sure you didn’t misun—"
The office door flew open. “Got a question for you, bro,” Rusty said as he barged straight in the office.
Shell hopped off Copper’s lap and stared like a deer caught in high beams. She’d been wrong when she thought her heart was racing a few seconds ago. Now, it beat so fast she grew lightheaded.
Rusty laughed. He was disheveled, eyes darting all around, sweat dotted across his brow. “Looks like I broke up a little pow-wow, huh? Or maybe a threesome? Care to bump it up to a quad?”
“Cut the shit, Rusty,” Izzy said. The woman spoke her mind at all times and didn’t know how to back down from a challenge.
“What’s the matter, Izzy? You pissed at me for showing that pussy you’re fucking that he ain’t shit around here?”
“Rusty,” Copper said, warning in his tone.
“Sorry, Cop. I know Jig is the club’s treasurer and all, but really? How can you trust a man like him? A man who can’t even keep his own wife alive?”
“Jesus, Rusty, can it,” Copper said on a growl.
Izzy seethed. “Copper knows what you’ve done,” she said, with an evil smile.
Shell’s eyes widened. She wanted to warn Izzy to shut it, but her tongue felt too big for her mouth.
Rusty looked at Copper. “What the fuck is this bitch talking about?” The man couldn’t stay still, fidgeting like his drawers were full of fire ants.
Izzy stood as well. “Shell. Told. Him.” She poked a finger into Rusty’s chest. What was she thinking? Was she crazy? “You. Stealing from the club. Selling drugs. She saw it all.”
Rusty threw back his head and let out a loud, slightly crazed laugh. “You two bitches fucking kidding me? You don’t believe this shit, do you, Copper? Anyone else happen to see me?” He never gave his brother a chance to answer before he focused on Shell. “Really, doll? That’s how you’re gonna do me? After all we’ve had together?”
Panic clawed at Shell’s throat stealing her ability to respond. She risked a peek at Copper whose forehead was wrinkled with confusion.
“What’s the problem?” Rusty continued. “You having so much fun playing house with big brother you’re afraid of what’s going to happen when he finds out the truth?”
Oh my God. Now? He was going to say it now?
Shell’s started shaking, and for the life of her she couldn’t quell it. “N-no. Rusty, d-don’t. P-please,” she said, finally finding
her voice, pathetic though it was. The weakness in her trembling tone was mortifying, but couldn’t be helped.
Copper’s head ping-ponged between the two of them. “One of you two better tell me what the fuck is going on.”
“Oh, you know, Copper. Shell’s just worried you’ll find out you’re Beth’s uncle.”
Shell gasped, her legs quaking so hard, there’d be bruises where her knees knocked together.
“Rusty,” Izzy barked. “That’s enough.”
As though in a trance, Copper stood, backing as far away from her as he could manage in the small office. “Her uncle? That’s not possible.”
Rusty smirked. “Sure is. Amount of fucking Shell and I did back then? Shit, I couldn’t even guess the number of times I had your girl. We fucked for years. Bitch never told me I got a daughter out of the deal, though. Just let me rot away in prison for five years without a word. Cold-hearted, that one.”
“Jesus Christ,” Copper said, his tone incredulous. “Years?” Now he sounded angry. “Who the fuck are you?” He stared at her as though it was his first time laying eyes on her.
Her heart dissolved into a trillion pieces so tiny, it’d be impossible to ever repair. “N-no. It wasn’t—It’s not—No.” Fat tears flowed in rivers down Shell’s cheeks. Her brain couldn’t process what was happening. She could barely breathe, barely stand. Reaching out, she grabbed the edge of the table to keep from crumbling to the ground. A sob caught in her throat then burst forward like a dam breaking. Years of fear, shame, agony, and guilt poured out of her eyes and her mouth as she wept.
“Just tell me it’s not true, Shell. Tell me Rusty is not Beth’s father. That’s the only thing I want to hear out of your lying mouth right now.” Never had he looked at her with such flat eyes or spoken to her with such a cold, loathing tone. If hatred had a sound, Copper’s voice at that moment would be it.
She continued to stand there, trembling and shaking her head.
“Copper…” Izzy started.
“Tell me it’s not fucking true,” he screamed, as he turned and punched the wall. His fist went straight through, leaving a huge hole. When he pulled out, blood trickled from his knuckles. How crazy was it that in the midst of all the chaos, Shell’s first instinct was to run to him and help stem the bleeding?
Like he’d ever accept her touch again.
Through it all, Rusty’s smirk gleamed like a neon fuck you sign. He was destroying her life once again, and reveling in every second of it.
“I c-can’t,” Shell said so low the words were barely audible.
“What? Can’t hear you. Is it fucking true?”
“It’s true,” she said, head hanging. The damn thing weighed about a hundred pounds. “But—”
“Say it louder,” Copper yelled. “Fucking say it, Shell. I want to hear the words out of your mouth. Not that I can trust anything you say anymore.”
Her breath hitched. She stared at the man she loved, a man she barely recognized right now and her insides twisted. She’d done this to him. Broken him. Made him hate her with her choices.
“Fucking say it!” he screamed.
“Rusty is Beth’s father,” she whispered. All she could see was that fucking smirk gracing Rusty’s mug. The moment the words were out of her mouth, she spun and lost her breakfast in Copper’s trash can.
“Get out.” Ice had returned to Copper’s tone.
“Copper, back the fuck off,” Izzy said, rubbing a hand over Shell’s back. “She’s—"
“I said get the fuck out of here!” Copper roared.
On her knees, her stomach still spasming, Shell jolted as though his words had been the harsh crack of a whip, spurning her into motion. Rising on unsteady legs, she started for the door only to be met with Izzy’s hand against her chest.
“And I said that’s fucking enough,” Izzy screamed. “Get the fuck out of here, Rusty.” With her free hand, she shoved Rusty out of the office then yelled, “Jig, get your tight ass in here. I need help.”
Shell had no idea what Copper was doing. She couldn’t see him through the torrent of tears and hysteria, but he appeared to be standing stock still in the corner of the office.
“You,” Izzy barked pointing to him. “You stay the fuck there. Don’t you dare say another damn word to her.”
Jig appeared literally three seconds later. “Babe, you okay? The baby okay? Holy fuck, what’s going on?”
“I’m good. I need you to take Shell to our place then call Toni and have her pick Beth up from pre-school. Ask if she can keep her for a few hours.”
“Babe—” Jig began.
“Nuh-uh,” Izzy said to her ol’ man. “Don’t look at him. I don’t care if this is his clubhouse and he’s president or king-shit or whatever. He’s a fucking dipshit right now. I’m your ol’ lady, and I’m the one asking you to help Shell out of here.”
“All right, babe,” Jig said tossing another wary look Copper’s way. He kissed his woman then came over to Shell. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get you home.”
Shell tried to follow, but her knees buckled, and she almost hit the ground. Her limbs didn’t want to work. Her body was trying to curl in on itself and ride out the pain. Jig scooped her up and held her against his chest. “Good luck, Cop,” he called as he carried her out of the office. “Izzy’s fucking pissed. Next time I see you, you’ll be shitting through two assholes.”
RUSTY IS BETH’S father.
Rusty is Beth’s father.
Rusty is Beth’s father.
The words played through Copper’s head like a broken record. He’d been through some serious shit in his life. Dead parents, moving from Ireland with his kid brother, raising his brother, death of MC brothers, killing, yet nothing came close to the hurt and betrayal of knowing the woman he loved had fucked his brother and bore his brother’s child.
All behind his back.
Jesus Christ, how could he not have known?
Now that it had slapped him in the face, the resemblance was painfully obvious. Beth with her mother’s crystal blue eyes but her father’s red hair. Lighter than Rusty’s and with Shell’s curls, it had always been obvious Beth’s father was a redhead.
But his own fucking brother?
Why did she do it? Because she wanted him and couldn’t have him? Or was it more sinister? A big fuck you to the man too old for her at the time?
And years? Rusty said they fucked for years.
When did it start?
How fucking young had she been?
Why did it start?
How long did it last?
Did he love her?
Did she love him?
She’d never seemed to care for Rusty much. Never wanted to be around him back then. Had it all been a ploy to hide their relationship? He could barely breathe let alone wrap his mind around the giant bomb dropped in his office.
“Hey!” Izzy said, snapping her fingers in front of his face. She was tall but still had to extend her arm to reach his eyes.
Copper blinked. They were alone in his office. Where had Shell gone? He vaguely remembered screaming at her to leave. And what happened to Rusty? Jesus, not only did his brother just get out of prison, but he found out about a daughter he was denied knowledge of. No wonder the guy had been off lately.
He glared at Izzy as the room fully returned to focus. “Get your hand out of my face.”
“Oh no.” Izzy dropped her hand to her hip. “Don’t you take that tone with me, asshole.”
He raised an eyebrow. Were she one of his men, she’d be sporting a black eye right about now. As it was, she was his brother’s ol’ lady and a pregnant one at that. Probably why she felt safe to get up in his face.
Oh, who was he kidding, Izzy would confront anyone or anything if she felt it necessary. “Watch yourself, Iz. Don’t forget who you’re talking to.”
“No,” she said getting on her toes and right up in his personal space. “You need to watch yourself. You also need to remember why Shell and I c
ame in here to talk to you in the first place.”
Right. Spewing some bullshit about Rusty stealing the money and dealing meth. Like he could believe a word out of Shell’s mouth now. She didn’t want her little secret exposed which gave her every reason to get rid of Rusty.
“Stop it.” Izzy pointed a finger in his face.
He counted to ten. Don’t snap her finger off.
“Whatever fucked up shit is going through your head, stop it. And remember who your woman is. Remember who she is. She is the woman who has been head over heels for you her entire life. She is the woman who would lay down her life for you in a heartbeat.”
“She’s the woman who fucked my brother and had his kid. Then kept it a secret for years.”
“Fuck you,” Izzy spat.
Copper swore to God she was testing his patience like no other. How did Jig deal with this woman day in and day out?
“You don’t deserve her. I do not know all the details, but I know what happened between her and Rusty was not what you’re thinking.” She lowered her voice. “And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t entirely consensual.”
He reared back as Izzy’s words hit him like a slap. “What?”
“You heard me, big guy. So while you’re sitting in this office chewing on your self-pity, think about two things. Remember who your woman is. And remember who your brother is.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means your woman is one of the best I’ve ever met. She loves you and this club with every fiber of her being. And your brother is a piece of shit who’d steal from his own club, sell drugs behind your back, sucker punch his brothers, and spend years in jail for nearly beating a man to death. Sounds just like the kind of man who’d force a woman.” With that, she stormed out of his office.
Copper dropped into his chair, a marching band suddenly traipsing through his head. He rubbed at the left side of his chest where another, more intense ache formed.
With a sigh, he pulled the bottle of whiskey out of his drawer and sucked back a long drink. Then he gripped the half-full bottle by the neck and flung it across the room with a roar of “Goddammit.”
