Hands folded, Cece sat nervously at the giant table in the conference room. She wasn’t sure what was going on since her next scheduled appointment with everyone was two days away.
Morgan’s no-nonsense message got her ass in there promptly at eight in the morning.
Killian and Franz were there as well, waiting for Morgan. All of them were a little shocked when she walked in behind Robert Hayes.
“Good morning, all,” Robert said, his tone solemn. “Thank you for being prompt. It is appreciated. Ms. Kirkbride has some matters to discuss with you and requested I be present.”
“Is Morgan essentially acting as counsel?” Franz looked confused.
“She is unless she requests help or needs us in court as full legal council.”
“Or as witness to a conversation,” Morgan added that as she shuffled some of her papers and folders around. “So, we’re here bright and earlier to discuss Frances’ bail revocation.”
“What?!” Cece felt her stomach fall out.
Morgan still sorted her papers. “We have an appearance in the judge’s chamber at ten, so we have to sort our information and figure out how to keep your ass out of jail. What approach would you like to take?”
“Why is bail being revoked?” Franz asked. He was clearly agog at the pronouncement and was the only one who could speak.
“Conditional bail violation.”
“What?” Cece shook her head. “I haven’t violated the conditions.”
Morgan snapped her head up from the paperwork, snatching one of the sheets and slamming it on the table. “You most certainly fucking did!” She slid it at her angrily. “I told the two of you to stay the fuck away from each other! I told you! Nothing. No communication! Now there is an EZ Pass entry for both leaving and returning to Pennsylvania! And I subpoenaed Killian’s credit card and found a fucking hotel room charge! I warned you both not to do this!”
Killian gaped. “You what?”
Morgan whirled on him. “Don’t you dare give me that fucking indignity bullshit. It’s far better for me to have pulled this than the prosecution.” She leaned forward on her hands. “I hope you fucked her like a bunny because you have certainly fucked her bail.”
“Counsel.” Robert’s voice was even and calm.
“Sorry, sir.” Morgan was clearly not sorry at all.
Cece felt herself shaking again. “Are they really going to throw me in jail?”
“They might.” Morgan took the paper back. “Be completely honest with me, Cece. Did you know about the conditions of the bail?”
Cece shook her head. “No. Never. I would have never left the city if I knew that.”
Morgan sighed and sat in the chair. “You have it going for you that you came back in a reasonable amount of time. Killian, clam it.” She leveled a finger at him. “I pulled your card because I wanted to make sure that she had an alibi and witness. And I wanted to make sure it was you. I was slightly hoping it was John Smith, but at the same time, I get to chew your ass about this stupid fucking move.”
Killian sank into the chair. “Shit. I didn’t even think about the bail restrictions.”
“Clearly, Doctor McInnis.” Morgan tapped the papers to straighten them out. “Now. How are we going to approach this? You didn’t mean to break the restrictions, and I get that. But I don’t know if the judge is going to buy it.”
Franz leaned forward. “What do you suggest?”
“Instead of waiting for the prosecution to speak up, we present the evidence that you did this, it was inadvertent, and offer some community service time while out on bail. A soup kitchen, a women’s shelter. Something to show your contrition.”
Cece nodded. “Yes. That’s fine with me.”
Morgan sat back in her chair. “I’m close to getting the charges dropped. You need, and I mean need, to pay attention to what you’re doing. I know you’re hot for each other, and I know you just want to be there for each other. But right now, if you don’t control your raging libidos, you’re going to end up with conjugal visits instead of clandestine hotels. We all know that the presumption of innocence is only true in a court of law. In the court of public opinion, you can easily hang yourself. So watch. Your. Asses.” She looked at the men there. “I need a few minutes alone with my client, gentlemen. If you don’t mind. Robert, this is not a conversation about the law or the case.”
“Thank you,” Robert said. “Gentlemen, let’s meet in my office and then I believe you’ll be off to chambers where Doctor Wainwright will meet up with you.”
Morgan quietly shuffled papers while Franz and Killian followed Robert out of the room. She looked up at the ‘snick’ that signaled the close of the door.
“What is your problem?”
Cece considered her. “I’m being charged with a murder I didn’t commit?”
“No. That’s not what I’m talking about, Cece. I’m talking about one of the strongest women I’ve ever met acting like a scared kitten. You’re a legend at the club, and right now, I can’t find Dusty Rose in the woman sitting across from me. This isn’t you, this meek, frightened little mouse.”
“I’ve been accused of murder.”
Morgan rested her chin on her hand. “I don’t think that’s it at all.”
Cece stood up. “I don’t have to listen—”
“There you are!” Morgan gestured broadly. “That’s you!”
“If you don’t think the murder charge is why I’m acting like this, why don’t you tell me what’s wrong with me?”
“And there you are again!” Morgan slammed her hands on the table. “Cece. You are letting this fundamentally change who you are. You are letting everyone intimidate you. That’s not you.”
“Wisconsin, I’m accused of murdering my lover in a fit of BDSM rage.”
“I know with every fiber of my being that you didn’t kill Everett. But you’re acting like you did do something wrong. And that something is your lifestyle. You’re horrified people know you like to tie guys up and spank them. And that’s never who you were. Or are. I’m not saying you have to advertise with a flashing neon sign that you’re kinky, but don’t tuck your tail. Own it. It’s who you are. Come off as confident, and people will believe you.”
Cece felt tears in her eyes. “You’re right. I’m so shrunken by Charles and Mother that instead of being who I am, I am still trying to fit into their world. All I ever wanted was just to be accepted.”
Morgan walked around the table and sat next to her. “It’s not easy walking away from your family, Cece. I know. I’ve done it. For the exact same reason. You’re scared to show who you are. All you ever wanted was for them to love you as you are, but what you really are isn’t what they want. And at some point, you have to protect you and walk away from this. You have to be willing to say I am done compromising. I think you’re there. Be Cece Robbe, the kinky, filthy, dirty librarian by day, and shibari mistress by night. You love it. Own it. Fuck Charles and your mother.”
Cece turned and smiled at Morgan. “You had to walk away from your parents?”
“My parents had my boyfriend jailed for raping me.” She shook her head. “He didn’t. At all. Part of why I’m here”—she gestured around the room—“is because I’m trying to vacate the judgment again him. To say I hate my parents is truly an understatement of how I feel.” Morgan elbowed her. “Come on. We can start the ‘Our Parents Are Assholes’ Club. I’m not only the president, I’m a client!”
Cece couldn’t stop the laughter that tripped out of her. “Damn, count me in!”
“Excellent!” Morgan steepled her fingers and let out a cackle, then stopped. “Was that too evil?”
Cece laughed again. “No, I rather enjoyed the evil, really.”
“Good, sometimes I’m over the top.” Morgan moved back to her original seat and tapped the papers. “I am going to need you to show me some of your rope tricks soon. My boyfriend needs to be taken down a notch. And I’m just about to the point where I can get the district at
torney to drop the charges. There’s really not enough evidence to charge you, and they can’t string you along.”
“So…”
“So, continue to stay away from Killian. Or if you’re going to go have a clandestine meeting, make sure that it’s actually clandestine. You know, no credit cards, no hotel reservations, no EZ Pass.”
“How do you propose that happens?”
Morgan gave her a cross-eyed look. “Cash, girlfriend. Cash.”
* * *
Robert closed the door behind him and crossed his arms, staring at Killian. A long moment went by before he turned to Franz. “Okay, which one of us is going to yell at this asshole?”
“I guess I will,” Franz answered and turned to Killian. “Are you going to tell her? Plan on stringing her along?”
Killian stared at him, then switched back to Robert and then back to Franz. “The hell are you two talking about?”
“You are leading on my Prima Domme, Doctor McInnis. You are fucking with her head. And I don’t like it. I don’t like it when someone screws with the head of one of my employees.”
“I’m still not following here...”
Robert shook his head. “You’re a Dom, Killian. We all know it. And you haven’t told Cece yet.”
“That girl,” Franz said, “is going through hell right now, and you’re only going to make this worse for you and her. You need to fess up to her. Soon.”
“How did you find out?”
“You think I don’t know Darien?” Franz raised an eyebrow. “Do you think I’ve never been to Wanderer’s End?”
“Same,” Robert said. “I’ve been there plenty. You know each house has its own interests, and you know we all like to expand those. You’re playing an unfair game with that girl. Morgan is in there trying to get her to calm down and explain to her that we’re going to get the charges dropped. She and Paul have to keep up the charade for a while longer. But that doesn’t mean you need to lead her on.”
Killian sighed. “Am I that obvious?”
“I can spot a Dom a mile away, you asshole.” Franz shook his head. “I was waiting for you to admit it. But this is me going into Concerned Employer Mode. Don’t lie to her. Don’t lead her on. You want to support her, be honest. Come clean.”
Killian walked to the door and leaned against it. “Am I transparent?”
“What did I just say? I can spot a Dom. You’re one of us. And stop moping, for Christ’s sake. I don’t know which one of you is worse—Cece or you. The two of you are pissing me off.”
He bit his lip and shook his head. “Look, I need time. She needs time.”
“You two have been lusting after each other for years,” Robert said. “Years. It’s pathetic. You need to come clean to her. I’m glad you’ve gotten into bed, but if you’re going to keep jumping her bones, you need to tell her. Because, dude, two Doms in one bed? Holy crap, you’re gonna wreck the walls.”
“Already did.”
“Uncalled for!” Franz snapped. He cocked his head. “But well done. At least I know you’re good for her.”
Robert looked at his watch. “We have to be in chambers shortly. Let’s get going. We don’t want to piss off the judge. Morgan is in her good graces, so we need to be prompt.” He motioned Killian away from the door. “Talk to her, Killian. Please. She’s just going to be pissed at you.”
Killian nodded. “I understand. And I will. But it’s not like we’ve had a lot of time together.”
Robert and Franz exchanged glances.
“And you wrecked the wall?” Robert asked.
“I had to spackle the holes.”
Franz nodded in approval. “Okay, that’s impressive.”
Killian smirked. “Sometimes, having sex outside a dungeon room is a lot of fun.”
Chapter Seven
Killian sat on the balcony, overlooking the Allegheny River, with a view of the north side and its new lofts and shops. He swirled the scotch in his glass, lost in thought as the crowds from Heinz field filtered over to him at a dull roar.
Paul paced back and forth nearby, his hands clasped and suit perfect.
“She’s not giving birth, Paul.” Killian slumped against the wall.
“The fact that we’re dismissed and told to leave the courthouse makes me very, very nervous. Perhaps it has not occurred to you that my fiancée is currently being evaluated for her continued bail.”
Killian lifted his head. “Fuck you, Paul. You don’t have to rub this shit in.”
“Then I am going to pace and worry about her. You may be her lover, but I’m her fiancé and publicly, I’ve got to worry about her. Personally, I worry about her as well. She’s a good soul, no matter what the press says. No matter what verdict the Internet is handing down.”
Killian nodded. “Sometimes, I forget that I’m not the only one who worries about her. I get possessive, especially since I can’t have her yet. All I want is her.”
“Have you considered the implications of keeping her around? Because I have. And none of it is completely pleasant.”
Standing, Killian crossed the hall. “I would die for her.”
“But can you live for her?”
Killian stared at the glass in his hand. The scotch, a twenty-one-year-old gem, had no flavor. Or, maybe it did, but all he wanted was the burning.
The burn made him feel like there was still something inside. Something that could potentially save his gorgeous Cece.
Why had they waited so long to confess their feelings? Now all he had was fleeting, stolen moments, and there would be no more until the court decided her fate. He wouldn’t risk her bail again for the sake of his stupid dick.
He had confidence in Morgan. She would do everything she could to clear her and get all charges dismissed, and certainly, this blip on their radar with the bail would be cleared.
But the court of public opinion didn’t work the way the justice system did—in their eyes, she was guilty until proven innocent. Even then, there was a chance she could be tried and executed by their peers. That weighed on her, badly.
She was shriveling in on herself, and he couldn’t stand it.
Killian ran a hand down his face, realizing he hadn’t shaved in days. Cece, the hospital, the nightmares. God, the nightmares. The memories of what he saw in that motel, the memories of the room his father had died in…
Just as his father was starting to find happiness and love, and not be an insufferable bastard, everything was ripped away. Even the life of the woman who had brought him back to life.
It terrified him how close Everett’s murder mirrored his own father’s. The blood everywhere, the words… The only real difference between the two was the cause of death. Everett had been bled to death; his father had been shot through the rectum. They had both suffered badly. Everett while he exsanguinated, and his father the same, except for being tied to the woman he loved after the same shotgun blast ripped through him, into her.
There had been evidence that she had been alive for a while. The coroner had said they were found in an embrace.
At least he had not died alone, like Everett.
Poor Everett. He understood Cece’s ache for him. He had just been learning to enjoy his submission with her. She had enjoyed teaching him. He could never begrudge his beautiful Domme her joys in the lifestyle. He knew how much he enjoyed his little indulgences at Wanderer’s End.
“Can I live for her?” Killian repeated. “Have you ever been in love, Paul?”
He nodded. “Oh, yes. Heartbreaking, soul-crushing love.”
“Then we have that in common, don’t we? The public can say what they will about her, but Cece is everything to me. I don’t care if they think she’s guilty after this. I know she isn’t, and I will defend her to my dying breath.”
Paul nodded. “She deserves that much, Killian.”
“She deserves everything I can give her, and more that I can’t.”
“If you love her, it’s enough.”
Kill
ian stared up at him. “God, do I love her.”
Paul’s phone interrupted them before they could continue. He pulled it out of his pocket and slid his finger across the screen to answer. “Wainwright.” There was a pause. “So, they took the plea. Okay, right. Right. Yes. That’s good. And that’s the only stipulation?” He pulled the phone away from his ear and hit the speaker.
Morgan’s voice spilled out. “—twenty hours of community service. But she’s been restricted in movement. No more five county privilege. She there’s a restriction of the city of Pittsburgh. That’s it. She can’t leave.”
“That’s fair, I guess.” Killian bobbed his head, weighing the response.
“I swear to God, Kay. She cannot leave the city. I won’t be able to argue for service instead of revocation next time. It’s a one-shot deal.”
He nodded, then remembered she was on the phone. “I know. I fucked up. It won’t happen again.”
“Make sure. I’m close to getting the DA to drop this. Do not fuck this up for her or me. Paul, you can come pick her up and take her home. Kay, stay wherever the hell you are. Don’t come down here.”
Morgan clicked off, and Paul dropped it back in his pocket. “I’ll take her home. Stay here. Don’t call her today. Let this settle. If you’re smart, you’ll talk to Emmy about finding out when she’s going to be serving at the soup kitchen and coordinate. Don’t try to do anything more.” Paul put a hand on his shoulder. “I know what forbidden love is like, Kay. She’s not the only one in this pining for someone. Just remember that. Neither of you are alone in this.”
Killian nodded thoughtfully and listened to Paul leave the apartment.
He’d really almost fucked this up beyond repair. It had never occurred to him that he was risking her bail by asking her to come out to the hotel. He didn’t even think of it; it was a stupid thing to do. No more, he swore to himself. No more taking chances like that. Killian wanted to live for her; he wanted to do everything right for her, and he knew he could.
But, staring out at the river, he was afraid for his career. The career he wanted to use to make sure that Cece wanted for nothing.
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