Eventually, he settled, seeming to sense that I needed exactly what I was taking. He put his hands back on my hips and slid them up and under the fabric of my dress, not stopping or encouraging me so much as just wanting the contact with my skin.
I chased my orgasm, loving the way my clit rubbed against his pubic bone in that position, and feeling like maybe, just maybe, for one moment I was in charge of something. My hands on his chest steadied myself as I exploded into an orgasm, trembling around him and feeling him find his own release inside me.
I didn't let the intimacy of our simultaneous orgasms touch me. Not the way it normally did.
As soon as I caught my breath, I stood and smoothed my dress back down. "Ivory," he whispered, reaching for me. Something in my expression seemed to make his own darken.
I knew what he saw as he looked at me. Something I expected I hadn't been able to achieve since the moment he came back into my life.
But in that moment?
I was safe within my walls.
Not even Matteo Bellandi could touch me.
I turned and strode out of the room, going to the guest room and taking a shower to scrub myself clean. Matteo didn't bother to follow me.
✽✽✽
For a couple of days, the distance between Matteo and I remained firmly planted like a void. I ended every day with him inside me despite it, with him trying to force me from my shell with the intimacy of sex and the sensations only he could wring from my body.
But that's the thing about sex. It could only be intimate if I allowed him to touch more than my body, and after the way he'd betrayed me that wasn't happening.
For the first time in my life, it felt like my heart was safe from Matteo.
I hated it.
It should have been a comfort, should have reassured me I'd walk away unscathed when he decided he was finished me. Instead, it just left me feeling cold.
Alone.
Again.
So, when Matteo had suggested I could go to Indulgence with Sadie while he handled some business with Lino, I jumped at the chance. I was desperate to get out of that house, desperate to have some semblance of freedom. Going dancing with my friend was a welcome change.
I didn’t always expect Matteo to have me surrounded by security.
I never expected to be trapped in the VIP area where he could watch me from his tower of an office.
I decided right then and there as I watched that I really, really hated any offices where Matteo was concerned. Watching brunette after brunette strut her way up those steps and act like she had a right to Matteo, listening to them tell Simon that he'd want to see them.
That they're special.
Newsflash.
They weren't. Not even one of them.
After the first few, Simon took to pointing me out and informing the girls that Matteo was spoken for with a live-in girlfriend, and just like that, women glared at me from every corner of the VIP. When I glanced down at the regular part of the club, for ordinary nobodies like me, I wished I could go be anonymous with them. Until I saw women pointing up at me with harsh expressions and speaking in one another's ears.
"Why am I here?" I asked Sadie, flopping onto an empty seat.
"Beats me. This sucks," she groaned. They allowed Sadie to go down to the dance floor. Just not me.
"What the fuck is the point of a club if I can't dance?" I snarled, catching Simon's attention.
He shrugged at me with a smile. "Boss' orders, Ms. Torres."
I groaned, flopping back against the cushions dramatically. A new girl wandered into the VIP, easily admitted access for whatever reason.
If I had to guess?
It was because she was gorgeous.
Inhumanly gorgeous.
I wanted to hate her but staring at her clear blue eyes and chestnut locks only gave me a different idea. I waved her over, patting the seat next to me. She took it with wide eyes, seeming entirely grateful to be saved the awkwardness of being on her own.
"Thank you!" she gushed, perching next to me.
"Have you ever met Matteo Bellandi?" I whispered, and Sadie eyed me curiously. Simon's eyes rested on mine in fixation too, but I didn't care.
"No. I've heard he's beautiful," she whispered, as if Matteo's looks were a secret.
As if.
It seemed the entire brunette female population of Chicago was very well acquainted with Matteo's appearance.
And his dick.
I fought back the surge of possessive jealousy. He wasn't mine, and never would be.
"So, this might sound weird, so bear with me," I laughed. "But do you want to fuck him?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Sadie groaned, smacking my shoulder. I winced, turning a glare her way.
"I—what?" the girl asked.
"I live with Matteo, girlfriend by force, I guess. Anywayyyy," I noted her shocked expression and realized I needed to save this conversation from crazy town. Stat. "He's a cheater. Already cheated once, but says he's changed. Blah blah you know the spiel."
"And you want to prove he'll cheat again?" she asked.
I nodded, opening up just enough to admit that Matteo had gotten to me before everything went to shit. "I want it done, before it hurts more, you know?"
"Oh honey, I mean. If he's as good looking as I've heard, then it's not exactly a hardship, is it? Are you sure you can handle knowing—?"
I nodded, though I knew there was a grimace on my face. "I want to know if he gives you any sign of interest. If he takes your number, gives you his. Whatever. I need to know."
She nodded, and I forced Simon to let her up the stairs. He played along, smirking the entire time like he was in on some huge joke.
Sadie took my hand, pulling me from my seat. "Let's go."
"Go where?"
"Dancing." She shoved past two bouncers who just trailed after us in dismay. "They won't touch you. Matteo would cut off their hands if they did. So we will not sit here so you can wait and watch him be seduced."
I swallowed, nodding. As soon as we hit the dance floor, I made it my resolution to not look at Matteo's tower. I didn't want to know. Didn't have any interest in finding out how Matteo liked to fuck the girls he took in his office. He'd admitted he didn't have sex in beds except with me, but the office saw some action.
I hated it by extension.
I threw myself into the action of dancing, trying actively to lose track of time. Song passed after song, and when there was no sign of the gorgeous girl returning to the VIP room from Matteo's tower, I felt something inside me shrivel and die.
There would be no doubt in my mind about what happened in that office, not with the time she'd spent there.
When my eyes slid away from the tower slowly, I met Simon's eyes briefly. Even his gaze was knowing, all traces of amusement gone from his features as he stared down at me. I didn't expect the anger making his face tense; the disappointment making his shoulders drop.
Hands touched my waist from behind, and barely a second passed before Scar stepped into my space and physically separated the guy from me.
I forced my best, most convincing, bullshit smile to my face as I turned to look at whoever had been brave enough to touch me with bouncers and bodyguards all around me. He was cute, if not oblivious to the off-limits aura my guys gave anyone who got too close. "It's okay," I said to Scar, stepping into the stranger’s orbit. I took his hands and placed them back on my hips as I resumed the rhythm of the music.
"Ivory—" Scar started, and I smiled at him. He didn't seem to know what to do with that smile, faltering in whatever he'd been about to say. My eyes darted back up to the Tower, and Scar winced when my eyes found his again.
"It was only a matter of time, Scar," I whispered, and his face twisted with confusion.
Like Matteo had really convinced his guys I mattered—that I was important. He probably had to, if he expected them to risk their lives to protect me.
But the secret was out. I was just another in
a long line of forgettable women who would mean nothing to Matteo. His jaw tensed, but he nodded, stepping back and letting me turn my attention to my stranger.
I smiled again, shoving down that broken part of me. I didn't get to be upset.
This was my doing.
The stranger smiled at me, and once we had room to move, he picked up the sway of his body and moved in tune with mine. Sadie found her own dance partner, moving close to me in the crush of bodies so we all enjoyed the music as a group.
A prickle of unease tingled down my back, but I was determined to ignore it. Until people dancing around us froze, and Sadie's hand grasped my arm. Turning to look at her, I saw her face etched with horror. "Ivory," she whispered, grabbing the stranger's hands and shoving them off my body. My eyes met Scar's next, and he smirked at me and crossed his arms over his chest.
My body pivoted slowly, eyes tracking through the crowd where they stared at me.
Matteo stood on the stairs that connected the VIP area to the main dance floor. His hand gripped the railing tightly, so much that it looked painful.
His face was etched in rage.
Those beautiful features looked monstrous in the flashing lights of the club as his darkened gaze found mine. Lino followed behind him, dragging the girl I'd sent down with a tight grip on her arm. Her eyes found mine, wide and full of fear. Her lips mouthed the words, "I'm sorry."
"He didn't take the bait," Sadie whispered in horror. "So, what was he doing up there?"
I glanced over at her, wondering the same thing. When Matteo took the first slow step toward us, it was not the body language of a man who'd fucked up and fallen for a woman's tricks and gotten laid.
It was the movement of a man who'd been wronged.
A man hell-bent on destruction.
I turned, shoving at the stranger. "Go," Sadie whispered, and the poor fool just stared at her. "If you value your life, you'll leave this club right now and never come back." That caught his attention, and he backed away slowly before picking up his pace and fleeing for the door.
I felt Matteo's presence. Felt every step he took until he stood directly behind me. He didn't touch me, didn't speak. But I knew he was there, heard the ragged intake of each breath.
"Matteo," I whispered, glancing to the side to look at Lino and the woman I'd selfishly sent into a situation I'd never had a hope of controlling.
"Do you think this is a game?" he whispered with a dead voice that probably concealed his rage from anyone who didn't know him. I watched with wide eyes when my stranger was stopped at the doors, bouncers ushering him toward a hall at the back of the bar.
"You're taking this too far, Bellandi," Sadie hissed. "This is too much."
"Do you know who I am, Sadie?" Matteo asked her slowly, and I watched as my friend gulped and nodded. "And you knew this when you called to inform me that Ivory had a date, no doubt?"
Pure, unfiltered betrayal rushed through me, and I turned to stare at her. Not only had she kept secrets from me, but she'd been the one to tell Matteo I'd gone on a date?
"Ivory," she whispered, stepping into my space. Matteo blocked her with an arm at her chest, forcing her to keep her distance.
"Ivory does not exist for you. Not until she understands the severity of what is happening here."
"You can't do that!" Sadie shouted.
"How could you?" I whispered to her, and I thought for sure the sound would be lost to the music. By some miracle, the music was nothing but a dull pound in the background, lost to the potent silence and the crush of people staring at us.
"I can, and I will."
"He doesn't have to. I don't even want to look at you," I hissed, flinching when Sadie winced. She nodded as if she'd expected that and turned and walked away. The bouncers didn't stop her and shove her into some back room to wait for their boss' wrath.
Matteo finally touched me, his fingers brushing the hair off the back of my neck delicately. "The next time you send me a woman," he paused, and my breath hissed between my teeth in anticipation of the crash. The admission that he would touch her, the pain that would break me all over again. "I'll make her and whoever the fuck you think to let touch what's mine, watch me fuck you," he hissed, wrapping his tight grip around my arm and pulling me into his body. I staggered, lost for words, because that had not been what I expected him to say. When he turned and pulled me toward the staircase, I fought against his hold.
"Teo," I whispered.
"Shut the fuck up, Ivory," he snarled. He kept pulling me until I stumbled in my heels on the third step. Then he looked at me, grasping me around the waist and tossing me over his shoulder. I shrieked, my hands going for my ass to make sure I wasn't hanging out of my dress. He smacked the back of my thigh, and I whimpered in shock. "I wouldn't expose you. That pussy is mine."
I gasped, smacking at his back in outrage. We passed Simon who chortled despite Matteo's glare.
Up and up we went until we stood outside the door to his tower of an office. "I don't want to go in there," I whispered, and he paused.
"Why?"
"I'm not naïve. I know you've had women in there before. They were all looking for seconds, and it was obvious you’d invited them up."
"I wasn't a saint, Ivory."
"I don't want to be another one of them, Teo." My voice broke, and I buried it in my hands.
"You could never be one of them." He stepped into the office against my wishes, kicking the door closed behind him and locking it. He didn't hesitate to bring me straight to the wall of glass overlooking the club, a King in his kingdom. He set me down, turning me to face the glass. Security convinced everyone to return to the fun, and the music cranked up loud again, but I didn't miss the way everyone's eyes seemed to fixate on the glass even as they drank and danced.
His hands grasped the bottom of my dress, tugging until he revealed my thong. Shrieking, I shoved his hands away. "What are you doing?"
His hand came down on my bare ass in a hard slap, and I screamed. "Matteo!"
"He had his hands on you." His voice went deathly quiet, and it took everything inside me not to tremble. Those strong, somehow callused hands stroked over the sensitive skin where he'd struck me, and heat bloomed in my core in response.
I hated how much I liked it—hated that I had to resist the urge to arch my back and press my ass into his touch. "I thought you fucked that woman. I didn't think you'd care."
Wrapping his hand around my throat, he slowly guided me back until I had no choice but to support my weight on the glass with my hands and the back of my head touched his shoulder. His free hand fidgeted with my thong, shoving it down my thighs one side at a time and inching it down like he couldn't bear to release his hold on my throat. "Teo," I rasped.
"Shut up, Ivory. Just shut the fuck up and listen for once." I stilled, snapping my mouth closed. The sound of him unzipping his pants behind me made me whimper, anticipation of what was coming like a pulse in my veins.
I thought I'd had everything Matteo had to give. I thought I made him lose control sometimes.
I'd been wrong.
He shoved inside me in one hard thrust, not giving my body time to adjust to the feeling of fullness that came with him being inside me. "This is where I belong," he groaned, keeping me still and keeping himself planted deep.
So deep.
It felt like I could feel him in my soul. Etched there permanently in some strange tether that tied us together through the years.
Over lifetimes.
Like nothing could ever keep us apart.
"I will never touch another woman again, Angel." His words were soft, menacing beneath the surface. The real Matteo that few ever got to see playing at the surface instead of hidden down deep. "I'm yours, Ivory." Tears stung my eyes when his lips touched my cheek, the soft pressure too much to handle at that moment. "And you're mine."
I nearly sobbed.
Because I wanted that.
I wanted to be his, and for him to be mine.
<
br /> But to love Matteo was to be broken. I knew that better than anyone.
And I couldn't do it again.
"I'm not a good man." He pulled his hips back, thrusting in so hard he rammed against the end of me. A mix of pleasure and pain shot through me, and I gasped in his hold.
"Teo."
"I don't care if you want to leave me. I won't let you," he growled in my ear as he fucked me in slow and deep, hard strokes. "Do you know why, Angel?"
I shook my head, too incoherent to form words as he worked me over. His free hand wrapped around my front, pressing between my thighs to feel the place where we connected. He cupped me, touching himself as he slid in and out of me and made me mindless. The palm of his hand pressed against my clit and threatened me with an orgasm that hovered just out of reach.
"Because I love you. I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you." He shoved deep, pausing there and letting me think for just a moment. "Nothing will ever take you from me."
"Stop," I pleaded on a whisper, and from the way he slid out of my pussy and then glided back in, he knew I didn't mean to stop fucking me.
"I'll never stop," he whispered, that hand abandoning my throat finally in favor of cupping my cheek and turning my head so he could look at me. "Tell me you understand."
"Please, stop," I begged, clenching my eyes shut, so I didn't have to look into the piercing blue of his eyes. Even his eyes told lies.
Even his eyes deceived.
"Look at me," he commanded, and my eyes snapped open of their own accord. "You will be my wife." My body acted on its own, fighting in his grasp until his length slid free and I stumbled forward into the glass. "You will be the mother of my children." He stalked toward me, gathering me up in his arms even as I slapped at him like a cornered animal. He spun until my ass hit his desk, and he shoved everything onto the floor as he pushed me onto my back. Forcing my legs wide, he plunged inside me again and my back arched in pleasure despite the panic flooding through me. When I moved to rise, his hand went back to my throat, pinning me to the desk with pressure that threatened instead of hurt.
This was not the Matteo I could fight. It wasn't the Matteo I could plead with.
Bloodied Hands: A Dark Mafia Romance (Bellandi Crime Syndicate Book 1) Page 17
