She scowled at the field before them. The sky was grey, a blanket of clouds laying over the world and mirroring the way she felt inside. While her banter with Griffin had provided a distraction, she was now faced with the reality of her situation.
Soon, she would have to get out of the truck and attempt her first shift. The beast sang with excitement inside her, but Lilah only felt dread. The thought of her body tearing itself apart and reforming with scales and claws terrified her. She held onto her arms, as if she could hold herself together, could hold back the change.
There would come a day when she couldn’t put it off any longer. The beast would tear itself out of her. She either had to give in to it or let it destroy her. Those were her only two options.
Not for the first time, she bemoaned the curse. It was hellishly inconvenient. Just for once, she wanted to get a pleasant surprise rather than a life altering one. She wanted flowers in the mail, to win a sweepstakes, or fall in love with the perfect man.
Clearly, none of those things were going to happen.
Until she looked to Griffin. Her breath caught and her beast tried to claw its way toward him. Every time she saw him, it was like the first time all over again. She was reminded of his graceful beauty and the power of his body.
As much as she wanted to go back to the night that he’d bitten her, there was no way she could. Life didn’t have a rewind button. He was not only her very fake boyfriend, but now her teacher. Lilah saw lines drawn in the sand, lines that separated them further and further.
She reminded herself that he would one day find a mate.
“Holy shit,” she breathed. Her head snapped up as a thought rocketed to the forefront of her mind.
Griffin jumped, alert. He looked her up and down in a blind panic. “What is it?”
“Do I get a mate now? Is that fated, or something?”
The panic fled and was replaced by a momentary look of exhaustion. Then, he laughed. The sound filled the cab of the truck and brought a smile to her own lips. She hadn’t been joking, though.
“I don’t know how this works. Do changed shifters get mates? Or, are they screwed since they were born human and therefore not part of the magic whatever that makes shifters?”
He tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, taking time like he was gathering his thoughts. Lilah desperately wanted an answer, though she feared the family curse would steal away anything good that came into her life. All she wanted was a speck of hope.
“I can’t say for sure. No one really knows much about the magic that makes shifters. There’s some lore that’s passed down from family to family, but it differs from animal to animal. There is a belief that every shifter has a mate, changed or not. It’s like the weave of fate is expecting you and so it makes room.”
It wasn’t quite what Lilah needed to hear. She turned away from him to glare at the field again. “I guess we better get this started.”
Griffin made a sound. She suspected he wanted to say more, but she was already pushing the door open. She jumped out and gulped down mouthfuls of fresh air. Spring was quickly approaching, and the gentle air whisked away some of her worries.
Until she looked up. Dragon shifters were expected to fly. They had wings.
But, Lilah had never been good at heights. She’d panicked at the water park when she climbed to the top of the big slides. Even going over bridges freaked her out. Even though Griffin was an ass for joking, he was right that dragons could catch themselves. They had wings for a reason.
“If it helps,” he said as he joined her, “Ryker’s mate has been knocked out of the sky twice since they met.”
“Which one is that?” Lilah couldn’t keep all the names and faces straight. The only ones she knew on sight were Jasper and Kennedy. And now Ashton since he seemed to let himself inside the guest house often enough.
“Tiny woman with dark hair. She looks like what a mouse might if it could shift into a human.”
Lilah slapped him in the chest. It was a mistake because his hand trapped hers and held it there. Her heart beat faster and faster. She didn’t dare look up at him for fear of what she might see. As much as her beast wanted Griffin, she needed to make sense of her life before she did anything so wild.
Hell, he probably didn’t even want her like that. She was now a burden on his life. He most likely saw her as such and dreaded every interaction with her. She’d crossed a line when she hit him.
He let her go.
Lilah stepped forward, further into the field. Hanging around his truck while he tried to teach her to shift probably wouldn’t end well. For her or the truck. She threw her hands in the air, giving in to the situation.
“Well, how do we do this?”
“Let it happen,” he responded.
She glared at him. His words didn’t help in the least. Her body was still human and would remain human until he told her how it actually worked.
Her skin crawled with the thought of what she was trying to do. It made her want to step back, want to run back to the truck. As much as she knew this needed to happen, she didn’t want it. The beast could complain all it wanted, but she didn’t want to be ripped apart.
“Why did you destroy Jasper’s car?” Lilah asked, trying to divert the conversation. “He’s your king. Right? Why would you risk angering him like that?”
Griffin stopped what he was doing. His gaze was glued to the grass at their feet. She caught the way his hands tightened into white-knuckled fists.
“The fight was Jasper’s fault,” he said, finally.
Confusion shook her. “That’s not how I remember it. Those dragons ambushed us. If anything, it’s their fault.”
When he pulled in a long breath, Lilah saw the way his shoulders shook. His head fell back, as if he were trying to compose himself. Lilah didn’t see how this was such a difficult conversation. Whatever was going on between him and Jasper needed to be put aside. This was about her.
Perhaps that was selfish of her, but it was Lilah’s life that had been changed forever.
“A few weeks ago, Jasper declared war with another group of dragons. All they wanted was to find a female shifter hiding on our territory, but Jasper was so greedy that he would rather keep the woman and endanger everyone else than stop a war. Because of that greed, you got hurt. That is why I destroyed his useless fucking car.”
Oh.
“I’m tired of him thinking only of himself. It’s going to destroy everything we have.”
Lilah’s lips twisted to the side as she thought. “What about the woman? The one both groups are fighting over. What does she think?”
“No one knows because she won’t show herself.” He gestured to the woods around them. “She’s hiding somewhere out here and won’t come out. Probably because her mate is a selfish prick and she doesn’t want him either.”
Lilah’s brows rose. “Wait. Are you trying to tell me that she’s Jasper’s mate and that’s why he’s fighting over her?”
In a weird way, it was kind of romantic. Though the hiding shifter woman didn’t want to be found, Jasper was still doing everything he could to protect her from those who were fighting to capture her again. At least, that was how Lilah saw it. She couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to go back to beasts who would openly attack a picnic.
Griffin narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re trying to put off shifting. Aren’t you?”
She shrugged, pretending at innocence. It brought a laugh out of him, but it didn’t last long. Seriousness returned.
“If you don’t learn to shift, your beast will take over and do it for you. Then we’ll never get Lilah back.”
Fear was like snow sliding down her spine. That was not the encouragement that she needed, and Griffin saw the adverse effect his words had on her. He approached, placing gentle hands on her shoulders.
“Let her out. Let the beast out. I promise you’ll be okay.”
The beast pushed to the surface of her thoughts. It filled her, overtaking everything Lilah
thought she was in control of. Her skin was no longer her own. It tingled with whatever magic brought on the change. In a blind panic, she pulled it back. The beast growled at her, and her head throbbed, but she couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t give herself over so completely. Already, Lilah had lost nearly her entire life. If she let the beast take her body, too, then she would have nothing. She would be a speck adrift, completely out of control.
“Delilah,” Griffin said, a hint of warning in his voice.
She shook her head and jerked away from his touch. Spinning around, she buried her face in her hands. This wasn’t right. She couldn’t be asked to give up so much time and time again. It wasn’t fair.
“Just remember,” Griffin began, “you’re the one making me do this.”
She spun around in alarm, but he was taking his phone out of his pocket. Her brows knit together in confusion as he tapped at the screen. Lilah’s heart fluttered nervously. She took a tentative step forward as a grin swept over Griffin’s face. The sight of it stopped her. The bright happiness and spark of mischief in his eyes rendered him into not just a marble statue, but a god.
He closed the space between them and leaned so she could see his phone screen. Her full name sat over a dollar amount that stole her breath. Her head snapped up. She wanted to curse him out but couldn’t find words at all. Nothing came.
“You said it would take a seven-figure number to get you in the sky, but let’s start with five figures for the first step.” He winked like this was nothing to him at all. “Shift and I’ll deposit it into your account.”
Lilah swallowed. With that kind of money, she could actually start over. She might even be able to stave off the curse for a while. Hell, she could hunt down someone who could cleanse the curse from her blood once and for all. Money like that was a new life. Griffin threw it her way with only one request.
He asked her to do the thing she least wanted to do.
“You can do it,” he said softly. “I have every bit of faith in you.”
She turned away from him and steadied herself, trying to let the world come back to a standstill after seeing that life-changing number. “There’s a lot I haven’t talked about. I know you’ll say I haven’t talked about anything, but…”
Lilah tried to tell him about the curse. She did her best to spill it out, but the truth sat like a knot in her chest. It refused to move. Her skin started to tingle, and her toes went numb. At first, Lilah thought it was panic. Then, her vision started to change.
The world went fuzzy, then sharpened startlingly. She could see every new blade of grass, every subtle shade of green and brown that painted the world. Confusion made her slow, but the new voice in her head whispered to her. It explained what was happening, that it was helping her.
The beast brought her attention back to the money Griffin was offering before her body began to pull apart. Lilah screamed once she realized what was happening. It was like being trapped in a nightmare she couldn’t wake from. The change paused mid-form. She pressed her eyes shut to keep from seeing what was happening.
Distantly, she was aware of Griffin’s shouts, but they meant nothing while panic reigned. Lilah could do nothing. She could barely breathe. Every breath hurt, sending fire through her wrecked body. The beast growled in her ear. It filled her with threats, but Lilah held onto control. She held on tight while the beast pulled. The struggle kept her in this form, though she couldn’t realize it while her mind was split.
Chapter Eleven
Griffin paced the floor, running a fine line into the carpet. He’d never seen anything like it before in his life. The vision…the sight of Lilah…he couldn’t describe it. While her body had not physically changed, he’d seen the form of the dragon trying to take shape. The magic had formed around her. It’d tugged at her very being and tried to implode around her stubborn desire to remain human.
Why he’d thought money would buy her compliance, he would never know. It was obvious that Lilah was terrified of what she’d become. Trying to buy her would never work. She needed to heal, to come to terms with her new life, before he could try cheap tricks like that.
He felt like a monster for what he’d put her through. The only person to blame was him. When she drifted through the halls and met his eyes before quickly darting away, he felt the weight of what he’d done. Lilah had gone from pained to completely ruined after the near-shift. Griffin didn’t know the first thing about helping her.
There weren’t many other changed shifters living in Grove, if any. Not that he knew of, at least. The shifters who lived in Grove were careful. They shifted away from humanity, controlled their beasts, and lived happy lives.
Lilah’s situation was unlike any other he’d come into contact with. He worried that he’d never be able to help her and that, eventually, she would lose her humanity to the beast now living inside her. The thought of it struck him. Her loss would be akin to losing his own arm. He wouldn’t know how to function without her, even though she was still so new to his life.
He dug his phone from his pocket and called Wyatt’s mate. He didn’t know what else to do. His options were running low, and he needed an outsider’s view.
Kennedy’s voice was husky when she answered. Griffin tried not to think too hard about what might have caused it.
“What do women like?” He asked, launching right into the conversation.
“Well, it changes from woman to woman. We aren’t a collective hive mind always preaching about self-care and high-heels.”
He growled, impatient.
On the other end, Kennedy groaned. “If it was me, I would like a cozy night in with lots of ice-cream and popcorn. I’m not sure what she likes, but you need to feed the woman, because the last time I saw her, she was wasting away.”
Griffin had noticed the same. He would hear Lilah’s stomach ferociously demand food, but she barely nibbled at her meals. Her waist was shrinking, and her face was becoming shadowed in ways that he hated. He wanted to help her, to ease her suffering, but he didn’t know where to start.
“Isn’t she your girlfriend?” Kennedy pushed. “Shouldn’t you already know these things?”
Griffin didn’t answer but hung up and jammed the phone back into his pocket. He stormed out the door, walking past the shade that was Lilah, and went straight for his truck.
He was going to do his damnedest to cheer Lilah up.
***
Lilah didn’t know what had gotten under Griffin’s skin, but she stepped back when he swept past her. Heat radiated off him and singed her sensitive skin. She reached for her own throat, pondering if she could create flame the same way before shutting down the thought.
She would never shift. It wasn’t going to happen. Her body would remain as it always had been, human and unchanging. Though, she’d already noticed the way her pants slipped off her hips. Her shirts hung a little looser, too. When she approached the mirror, she had to brighten the deep contours of her face with makeup to keep her reflection from looking too dead.
The curse would never let her go. It would work its way through Lilah until it ended her. She was convinced. One event after the other led her further and further into disaster. She often felt like she was walking through the different circles of hell.
Except when Griffin was around. It was strange to blame him for her condition and yet love his presence. He was a distraction that kept her from thinking about her pain. She often wished she had something to say to him, but embarrassment over what happened in the field would rise and she would scurry away.
It happened more than once. Lilah thought that she would eventually get over it, but her beast would growl at her every time she saw Griffin and she would be reminded of that day all over again.
While he was gone, she drifted around the house. Bumble watched her from his perch on the back of Griffin’s couch. She didn’t dare go near her cat for fear that the curse would take him away from her, too. She wouldn’t be able to recover from a p
ain like that.
An hour and a half later, the front door burst open. Griffin, face bent in determination, pushed through with his arms laden with grocery bags. Lilah watched him tote it all into the kitchen as if it weighed nothing. Compelled by curiosity, she followed him to watch him unpack pint after pint of ice-cream.
Another bag held nothing but cat toys. Another was filled with movies, from action to romantic. There was a bag filled with all sorts of plush blankets in shades of green and violet, and a bag of pillows to match. The last bag was different than the others and filled the air with the smell of spicy chicken.
Her stomach clenched and roared. Griffin’s head came up and he saw her standing in the door. Her instinct to run hit, but she managed to stay where she was if only by her grip on the door frame.
He pointed at her, face still holding that same look of determination. “We’re going to have a good night.”
He reached back and grabbed the bag that smelled of chicken and put it in her hands. “And you’re going to eat for once.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but her stomach answered for her. He gave her a knowing look that she tried to avoid by looking at the floor.
“Take it into the living room and put it on the coffee table. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll bring everything else out.”
Lilah gave Griffin a dubious look, but did as he told her, marching into the living room with three containers of chicken wings. Her heightened senses could pick up hints of honey, mustard, molasses, and hot peppers. Her beast greedily anticipated the meal, but Lilah wanted to push it all away.
Once upon a time, she’d been the kind of person to devour a pint of ice-cream in the blink of an eye. She enjoyed large stacks of pancakes all at once. This sudden change in appetite was in rebellion, but the longer she thought about it, the more she realized she was being foolish. It wasn’t like her hunger had actually changed. She’d always been hungry.
To blame the creature now living inside her for her hunger had been a foolish response. The beast agreed with a haughty hemp, feeling a victory on the way. But it never came because Lilah’s train of thought was derailed by the pulsing vibration of her phone. It danced over the coffee table as the screen flashed for attention.
Griffin Drake Page 8
