by Lannah Smith
Then I felt Christopher catching me in his arms, hauling me deep into his body.
“No, no, no,” he mumbled roughly. “April, no.”
Alec brought down his gun, his wild eyes focusing on me.
I heard screams. Things were happening around us, people moving, calling for help. There was blood coming out of my chest and I blinked furiously at it.
"I told you I'll come after you," My father grinned weakly. “Promised you I’d destroy you…”
Then blood spurted out of his mouth and he crashed to the ground.
Christopher held me close, held me tight and I heard him scream as well.
"No! April, no! God, God, don't do this to me, no!”
My eyes went to his devastated face.
We were going to finally have the life we both wanted.
We were both going to get married and build a family.
I guess we never were meant to have a happy ending no matter how hard we tried.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"No, you're going to be alright, honey.” A sob escaped his lips and he kissed my head. “You're going to be fine."
"I love you." A tear dropped from my eye. "I love you. Now and forever."
He shoved his face into my neck and bellowed his grief. Alec was ashen-faced when he looked down at me.
"I'm sorry," I muttered to him too.
My eyes fluttered to a close.
And as I faded away into the cold darkness, I heard him bellow too.
End.
Epilogue
Five years later...
The cemetery was unusually cold this time of the year. Christopher breathed in the scent of rain as he knelt down on one knee to place a bouquet of yellow flowers on the grave.
Reaching out, he touched the cold dampness of the headstone with unsteady fingers, tracing the letters inscribed in the granite. His chest tightened and he pressed his hand flat against the cold stone. Then he stood up, a huge sigh escaping him.
The daisies fluttered when a biting wind passed by. He looked up the sky, checking the dark clouds.
It had rained that day too.
When she died in his arms, it rained soon after.
He could still remember it.
The unimaginable grief.
And Christopher was never the same again. When he felt the life drain out of April, when he saw her draw her last breath, he just knew he'd never be the same.
Sometimes, the lucky ones just weren't the ones who were left behind.
He heard footsteps behind him and he half-turned. Rohan was walking towards him on the cobblestone path through the stones that marked other graves. And seeing him brought him a little comfort to know that some things stayed the same.
"They're here?" Christopher asked.
"Yeah," Rohan answered. "I went ahead because John and Terry are arguing. Again."
He grinned. "I hear she's irritable when she's pregnant."
"Irritable during her first, impossible now. John's a pussy for letting his woman trod all over him."
"I distinctly remember you losing your cool when Emilia's water broke," he pointed out.
Rohan glared at him. "Shut up. We don't talk about that."
Shaking his head, he asked, "Where is she?"
"At home. Taking care of the baby. She wanted to come," he shot him an apologetic look. "But the baby's sick."
"It's okay. I'm surprised you came when Angelica is sick."
"Emilia kicked me out because I was making a big deal out of it,” he admitted. “And her Dad is with them.”
Christopher could imagine him making a fuss and smiled. When Emilia went on labor, Rohan remembered how it was like for Sophia and Leon with their first child and he was so terrified, he yelled every time Emilia screamed until the doctor and nurse couldn’t take it no more and kicked him out of the room.
Emilia delivered their baby soon after with no complications. And Rohan was so happy he couldn’t contain it and cried in his exhausted and very amused wife’s arms.
Then the grin on Christopher’s lips died when he happened to glance at the daisies. Sighing, he pushed his hands deep into the pockets of his coats and lifted his face to the sky.
"Are you alright, Skull?" Rohan asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm alright," he muttered. "It's just hard to come to terms with sometimes."
Rohan waited for him to continue.
"It's hard to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, shit happens and you can only be with the people that you love for a short time."
The hand on his shoulder tightened.
"It does suck," Rohan whispered.
Christopher dropped his gaze and admitted, "There were times when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, Rohan."
Rohan patted his back, his eyes on the gravestone. "There are times like that, Christopher. Times that you think you just can't take it anymore." Rohan paused to take a deep breath before exhaling shakily. "But then you discover that you can. You always do. Not because you don't have a choice but to get on with life but because you know you're not alone." His mouth quirked ever so slightly when he turned his gaze to him. "You're never alone."
Christopher nodded and smiled sadly at him. "But there are times when you just need to acknowledge the bad shit, you know."
"And that's alright," he said firmly. "That's alright too, Skull. We’re all allowed to feel shitty."
Christopher closed his eyes against the rush of emotions.
Then he opened them on a heartfelt sigh.
Damn it. Ever since that day, he had difficulty getting a lock on his emotions, especially when his thoughts were centered on her.
"Where's Leon?" Rohan suddenly asked him. "I thought he was here with you."
"Ah, he's—"
The gravel behind them sounded and they both turned around. Leon was coming towards them with a face of great resignation. In his arms was his three-year old son, Nico. Sophia lagged behind him, holding Maria, by her hand. The little girl was sticking her tongue out her brother, making the boy whine.
"You found the toilet okay?" Christopher asked them.
"We did," Sophia answered. Then she frowned at her daughter. "Maria, I told you to stop teasing your brother. I swear to God you're becoming just like your father."
Leon wisely chose not to say anything and asked him, "Are you okay?"
The corner of his lips lifted. "I'm good."
"It’s cold, isn’t it?" Leon wrapped the scarf around Nico tighter.
"I know. We'll leave soon when they all arrive." Christopher’s gaze went over to the side and he grinned. "John and Terry's here."
And they looked like they were still arguing.
"...you watch out, Terry? You might fall."
"I'm not going to fall, John,” Terry replied in loving irritation, slapping his hands away. “I may not see my feet but I know how to move them. Now about that building you purchased for your son's dogs..."
"We're here!" John declared, quickly leaving her side and exchanging hugs with everyone. "How are you Skull? My, my, the kids have grown, haven’t they Leon? Terry, I want a baby girl. Make sure you give me a baby girl this time, alright?"
Terry rolled her eyes. "We'll talk about this later. He refused to let me tell him the baby’s gender," she told Sophia.
"Wait, he bought the dogs a building?" Sophia’s brows furrowed together.
"My husband has no sense," Terry said on a sigh.
"Well, Leon's already teaching the children how to disarm an assailant. He claims it’s for their own protection."
"Your husband is crazy."
“Rohan just bought ten dresses for his daughter,” Christopher informed them.
“Again?” Terry couldn’t contain her shock. “Didn’t you just buy her a lot of clothes last week?”
“I only bought her pajama sets,” Rohan defended himself, giving Christopher a side-glare.
At this juncture, John couldn’t help but say, “Hey, Ro
han. What do you say we let our children go out with each other when they’ve grown?”
Rohan sneered, “Over my dead body. If Rin takes after you, at thirteen years old he’d be a—.”
“Point taken,” John cut-in irritably. Then he looked at Sophia. “How about Nico? If our next child is a girl then…”
Christopher tuned them all out and looked at the sky again, this time with a smile.
Rays of sun were peeking out from the dark clouds covering it, filling the cemetery with light again. It crowded out the disquiet in his chest, pushing out the painful memories until finally, he felt happy again.
"Christopher."
That happiness increased a thousand-fold when he turned around.
April smiled while she headed their way, holding a pink bundle in her arms.
"What took you so long?" Christopher grumbled, pulling her to his side.
"I forgot where you put the car," she said, wrinkling her nose up at him. “Fortunately, Alec found me getting lost and sent me back after I got her blanket.”
"I told you I should have gone myself."
She smiled. "I like walking. Here," she lifted her arms and settled the baby in the crook of his arms. Christopher felt his heart swell with emotion again. “Your little princess didn’t even wake when Alec wrapped the blanket around her.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off Margaret.
Strawberry blonde hair just like her mother’s. And brown eyes just like his.
“Hey, April. Would you let little Margaret go out with my Rin?”
April glanced at Christopher. “There might be another war, John.”
“And John will be the first one to go,” Christopher muttered, kissing his daughter on the forehead.
Terry and Sophia laughed at John’s disgruntled expression. Christopher returned his gaze to the headstone in front of him with a grin. Then he looked at the other.
Here laid his parents and his unborn sister. And his friends, after learning about his family years ago and how he never failed to visit them every year on their death anniversary, never made him visit alone anymore. Never again.
They knew how much that meant to him.
And April knew how much that meant to him too.
She was lucky she survived getting shot. She was lucky they were still at the hospital and got the help she needed immediately.
He was lucky she was a fighter.
Now she was still alive and breathing. Now she was married to him and had a kid with him.
It still would take Christopher years to lose the pain and grief of the memory of that black day. But as long as April was healed and healthy, life would be good. All good.
Finally.
“Does your mother like daisies?” April asked worriedly, her eyes on the flowers.
He put one arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “Yes, honey. She liked all kinds of flowers. And she’ll like this even more since you made the bouquet yourself.”
“But wasn’t your mother allergic to flo—?”
Christopher gave Rohan and Leon grateful looks when they hit John at the back of his head.
Rolling her eyes, April gave him her weight. “Your friends are assholes," she declared
He laughed in agreement.
"Let's go home, honey."
Her annoyed expression disappeared. She liked hearing the word home.
Smiling up at him, she said, "Let's go home.”
I walked into my home, holding fresh cut flowers from my garden. Humming a soft tune, I placed my wide-brimmed sun hat on the counter and grabbed the vase in the sink to put some of the flowers in. The rest, I put aside for Emilia, knowing she liked having flowers in her house as well.
I went into the living room and placed the vase on the table, arranging the flowers more to my liking.
Then I heard soft playful giggles and low, deep laughter from the next room.
Leaving the vase, I walked to the study. I nudged the door open. Christopher was lying on the floor, flat on his back, our daughter stretched out on his chest.
Tender feelings assailed me, holding me spellbound.
Christopher lifted Margaret to the sky and she let out peals of laughter that had the two of us smiling widely. I leaned my shoulder on the doorframe and crossed my arms, watching my husband play with our daughter. His expression was filled with wonder and love as he watched her giggle again when he brought her back to his chest. He yelped when she slapped his face with the doll in her hand and I laughed.
Hearing me, he tilted his head back for an upside-down view of me. Then he grinned and sat up slowly, gently putting Margaret on her fluffy blanket. She immediately reached for one of the many toys around her, having enough of her father's attention.
We were silent for a while, watching her.
Then Christopher asked, "Do you remember when you gave birth to her?"
"I remember," I whispered. I denied being with child until it was ridiculous. Christopher had seen how his friends had reacted when their wives went into labor. He didn't admit it but he was terrified of me giving birth because he didn't want to let me go through such terrible pain.
"You didn't give me much time to panic because you gave birth in one single and silent push." He chuckled. "Then I was holding her a few minutes later."
I smiled at that but I was remembering other things. I remembered his face in the cemetery, the expression that told me he had been feeling upset. The expression that told me how relieved he was to see me return to him. The happiness and contentment that flashed across his features when I stood by his side.
He’d never forget that black day that could have made him lose me permanently. I see it in the way he moved around me, the way he held me, the he kissed me and made love to me. It was a fear that I’d yet drive away. A fear that I once held but now had him bound and imprisoned.
Five years might have passed but he was still trying to let it go. I owe a lot to his friends for helping me work with him. John especially was on my side whenever Christopher was being overprotective of me and refused to let me out of his sight. Leon persuaded Christopher to lessen my bodyguards from ten to just one whenever I was out of the house. And I asked Rohan to help me get rid of the thousands of tracking devices Christopher put on me, my bags and shoes, and my car.
Christopher was yet to let it all go. But I didn’t mind helping him work on his fear because I knew we were permanent. We were family.
And we were forever.
Then I remembered a lot of things.
Like how Christopher cried when I walked down the aisle.
He cried when I told him I was pregnant. Cried when our first baby was born. And cried when I told him last night that I was pregnant again.
Over the years, his friends started making bets on this. He allowed this since he had also made bets on their lives. Rohan usually won since he knew Christopher best. And because I always confided in Emilia about these things.
And Alec, he was the one who walked me down that aisle.
It took him two weeks after I recovered from being shot to sit me down and tell me he was my half-brother. All along, I had a feeling who he was. There had been something about him that pulled at my heart, something that made me want to get to know him better and not want to lose him. Underneath that snobbish exterior, he'd been always so kind to me. And because I wasn't stupid not to pick up the hints Christopher dropped every once in a while, earning grim looks from Alec.
I had been afraid to broach the topic with Alec, thinking that he might not want to have anything to do with my father, no matter how much he might like me. All the more since he was the one who killed our father, or so I thought, because it was actually Dan’s father who delivered the killing shots first. He’d been there, hiding but watching. All the while he’d been so near me yet so hidden.
I didn’t even mourn my father’s death. But I did regret not ever having a chance to be in a father-daughter relationship with him, a relationship where he act
ually loved me and cared for me. Now that chance was forever gone.
While talking to Alec about our father, it had been the first time I saw Alec with tears in his eyes. I cried a lot that day too. I was just so happy to have someone else to call family. Christopher gave or forced Alec, rather, to take some time off work so we could hang out and get to know each other.
