by Rose Verde
“It’s fine if you want to take the day off. Things have lulled a bit. We can go one day without you.”
“Thanks.”
They talked about plans for the rest of the week while they replaced the filter and oil. Satisfied there was no leak, they put things in their place and Dale headed to his truck.
Dale’s words played in Chance’s head as he walked toward the ranch house. Just be near. And he planned to do that.
AFTER SPENDING THE past few days with Chance and his family, Sam felt like she knew him better. He was quirky, funny, mischievous... The consequence was that she was drawn to him more than she cared for, and she didn’t know what to do about it. The house felt quiet today with his sister and kids away at a friend’s place. Andy had refused to go, leaving the three of them. For the first time, having dinner with both father and son had made her yearn for a family like she hadn’t in a long time.
She stared out of the window. The wind had been going for at least a half hour raising dust and anything that was loose. Just then, it started to rain. If she had her car she could have left long ago. The longer she stayed, the slimmer the likelihood of getting a cab. It was just seven thirty. If only she hadn’t stayed back to talk. She’d forgotten there was rain in the forecast until the wind started.
Footsteps sounded behind her and she turned. “Is he sleeping already?”
“Yes.” Chance looked out of the window too. “It’s not abating.”
“Doesn’t seem to. I doubt I can wait for it. If the rain becomes heavy, it’s going to make things hard. I’ll call a cab.” She rose to go and her phone fell. It broke into different parts.
“Oh boy,” Chance said.
Sam swallowed a sigh. She bent down to pick up the cover. Chance reached for it at the same and they bumped heads.
“I’m so sorry.” Chance rubbed his forehead. They both burst out laughing. Sam rubbed her forehead too.
Chance took the battery and went after the other half. “The screen is broken. But that’s the only part that’s broken. You can take it in and have it changed.”
“Sure.” She rubbed the sore spot on her head that was just healing. “I didn't realize how hard your head is.” She giggled.
“Ouch. I apologize,” he laughed as he coupled the phone. He looked at her, then stepped closer and took her hand off her head. “Let me take a look.”
Sam could feel the warmth of his hand zing and set her whole body in high alert. He ran his thumb over it. “You got a nice little bump right there.”
Moving away, he opened the fridge and grabbed an ice pack.
“I’m fine. I’ll put some on when I get home.”
Instead of responding, he wrapped the ice pack in a tea towel. Cradling her neck like she was the most fragile thing on planet earth, he applied the ice to her head. Her throat dried. Sam put out a hand to stop him.
“Just a few minutes, Sam. We don't want it swelling and giving you a hideous bump, now do we want that?” He grinned.
Sam’s heart trashed around in her chest and she wet her lips. The air between then seemed to crackle like the sound of an aurora.
She met his gaze. His intense blue ones bore into hers and she swallowed. She wasn’t sure how things changed swiftly. One moment, he had his hand on her forehead, the next moment, their faces were mere inches apart, his warm breath fanning her face.
“I’m going to kiss you, Sam.”
She couldn’t form any words, so she nodded. Chance leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. The effect was nothing like she’d experienced before. He leaned closer and kissed her again, briefly. Her head screamed for her to end things there and then, but she couldn’t move. He took the ice off her head and set it on the kitchen island. This time around, when he found her lips, she rose on tip toes to reach him.
Chance pulled her close and his fingers encircled her waist. Sam flinched when his hand touched the huge scab on her side. She knew he felt it too. He broke the kiss, but his eyes stayed closed.
Heat poured into her face and she stepped back hastily and missed her step. His quick reflex kept her from falling on her backside. As soon as she was steady, she wiggled out of his hold. “I best be leaving,” she stammered.
“It’s still raining.” His voice sounded breathless. If it was from their kiss, she didn’t know.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” She brushed past him as tears clogged her throat. The second time in a week. What was wrong with her? Ignoring his presence behind her, she grabbed for her jacket.
“You can’t keep running, Sam.” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Can you at least wait out the rain? Andy is sleeping...”
“It’s okay,” she repeated. She glanced at the screen of her phone that had gone black. Calling a cab was out of the question. Todd’s words rose to taunt her. It’s me or no one.
She went to the living room and grabbed her bag then headed out in the rain. She’d be soaked in no time. But, it was better than staying and answering the questions that would definitely come. Questions she’d avoided. She hurried down the driveway and onto the ranch road. He hadn't followed her. Good thing.
She didn’t look back, just clutched her bag tighter and kept on. The chilling rain came down on her. Don’t cry, she told herself sternly. What had she been thinking?
Sam ran a shaky hand over her hair to push the wet strands out of her face. How long could she last? The ranch was over an hour from her home. She’d be looking at hours of walking before she got to her house. It was stupid of her to form this new habit of hanging around to spend time with Chance. See where it led them.
The sound of a truck caused her heart to trip up. Seconds later, he pulled up beside her. “Let me drop you off if you don’t want to wait it out.”
She didn't respond, just kept on going.
“It’s cold. You will catch your death, Sam. Come on.”
She was shivering already. “I’m fine. Go back to your son.”
“And what does that make me? Come in and I’ll drop you off. I’ll be back before he knows I’m gone.”
Her body quivered. She wasn't sure if it was from the rain or the fact that Chance would put two and two together. He’d been spot on the first time. Shame filled her for the scars she couldn’t let another person see.
Memories reared of how one of the nurses had cringed at the sight, only to school her features too late. .
Chance drove forward and turned the truck to cut her off. She heaved a frustrated sigh. Why did he have to be pig-headed?
He pushed the vehicle in park. “What part of go away, I’m fine, don’t you get?” her frustration came through in her voice and she couldn’t help herself.
He opened the door and got out, not responding. For a moment, she stared at him standing there in the soaking rain like she was.
Pushing drenched hair out of her face, and forcing her teeth to keep from chattering, she made to pass behind the truck.
He grabbed for her and she tried to get out of his reach but he was fast. He held tight, wrapping his arms around her. She fought for him to let her go but he was just as determined.
“What’s the matter with you? Stop fighting me, please.”
“Let go of me, please.” Tears choked her and her voice broke.
“Not until you tell me why you've gone all weird on me.”
The rain was beating down on them but he apparently didn't care.
“Did your ex-husband do that to you too?”
The question broke her in more ways than she could say. And for the first time in a year plus, all her keep-it-together, suck it up approach failed. Sam sank to the ground as a shaking she couldn't control took over her entire being. Her wail scared her as she’d never cried that way ever in her life. But she couldn’t stop.
Chance knelt down beside her, not letting her go. By this time, they were soaked to their bones. He swiped the hair from her face gently, murmuring words she couldn’t comprehend in her befuddled brain. She was spent, y
et she couldn’t stop crying.
“Let it out, Sam. Just let it out.”
He had no idea how long she’d held it in. He had no idea how long she’d wanted normal and got a nightmare. He had no idea how things had been. And right now, she couldn’t hold it together anymore.
Gradually, her strength felt like it was bleeding out. Her voice was hoarse and sore. And she stayed there in his arms and sobbed.
Wet wind blew over them and she shivered. The rain was tapering off a bit but it was still coming down.
“I’m going to get you out of the rain and into warmth, okay?”
Drained of strength, she managed a nod. He pressed a kiss to her head, and when she would've stood up, he picked her off the ground and then rounded the truck. When he got to the passenger’s side, he set her on her feet, and opened the door.
Sam climbed in. Embarrassed at her display of emotion, she didn’t meet his gaze. Chance got in. “I’m sorry...”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Sam.” He cranked the engine and put the heater on. “Look, I have a spare room at my place. I can’t leave Andy all by himself. But if you really need to go back to your place, I can go get him and take you.”
“It’s okay. I’ll spend the night.” Her face heated. “I ... didn’t mean...” She stammered to a halt.
“Don’t keep apologizing, okay.” He turned the truck round and drove home. Silence filled the vehicle but it wasn’t oppressive. What must he think about her miserable life?
By the time they got to the ranch, her teeth were chattering despite the heater. She opened the door and climbed down. He came around the truck and stepped up beside her on the porch. Thank God for the dark porch. If her clothes were as plastered to her as his was, she must look a sight.
He led her back into the house, down the hallway and to a room at the end, dripping as they went. It made her feel awful. What had she been thinking, letting herself get carried away like that? Had she not learned her lesson with Todd?
Chance opened the door at the end of the hallway and preceded her in. He showed her the washroom and then said, “I’ll be right back.”
He left and Sam looked down at her clothes for the first time. She was a soggy mess with mud plastered all over the legs of her jeans. She pulled her jacket closer and turned round to survey the room. Clean and tidy. A well-made bed called out her name. She wanted to fall into it and never wake up.
Chance returned. He had neatly folded pyjamas in his hand. Then there was a towel and some soap. “I’m sorry, I don’t have anything better to offer you.” He blushed. “Between Andy and me, all we have are male things. If Sierra were here she’d have been able to give you something to wear. I don’t want to go through her stuff.”
“It’s okay.” She accepted them.
“Take a hot shower. You’ll feel better afterwards.”
She nodded. An awkward silence stretched between them.
“Come out when you’re ready.”
He turned and headed for the door.
“I might just go to bed after I shower.”
“Uh, okay.” He hesitated, like he wanted to say something. Instead, he chucked her on the chin. “Goodnight, then.” When he got to the door he said. “I could wash your clothes if you put them out the door in ten minutes.”
Sam flushed to her toes. “Uh, I can do it myself.”
He searched her face for a few seconds. “I’m going to do mine. Might as well just do everything so you have something dry for the morning.”
When he left, Sam peeled off her clothes. She didn't have an alternative. If she washed them by hand, they wouldn’t dry by morning. Sam folded the clothes and put them outside the door and went back in.
She wished it was a tub so she could just soak in it. But the shower would have to do. Stepping into the small enclosure, she turned the water on as hot as she could tolerate. The water cascaded down her body, loosening the tension. Sam slipped her fingers down to her side and rubbed at the scar, and then the one on her back that peaked at her nape. The one Chance had seen days before.
She wasn't sure what set her off tonight. Maybe she knew. Her feelings were on the line again. In the past three years, she had felt and concluded she was dead on the inside, not being able to shed a tear or feel any emotion. She had dealt with shame, confusion, depression and anxiety, all in isolation. It wasn’t until her last ordeal and her divorce did she finally go into counselling. Renee had been a great support and no matter what she did, she just couldn’t stir any emotions in Sam for a long time.
She finally did and Sam felt she was on the road to mending her shattered self esteem. Developing feelings for Chance hadn’t been in the plan and she’d never felt so inadequate.
Using the old spice soap, she lathered her hair and washed it off. Then she used a small bath towel to wash herself clean. A few minutes later, she turned off the tap and stepped out. After she dried off, she reached for the clothes Chance had loaned her. She had never worn another man's clothes beside Todd’s. That was when everything was good. Would he feel offended if she didn’t wear the clothes? But then, unless she wanted to traipse around with nothing on...
She slipped the shirt over her head and pulled it down.
The clean old spice smell on the fabric was warm, reassuring. She pulled it closer to her nose and inhaled. Sighing, she let it go and pulled on the trousers.
A knock sounded at the door. Grabbing the towel, she worked on drying her hair as she went to the door. Sam pulled it open.
Chance smiled at her. “I got you hot chocolate.”
“Thanks.” She took it from him, feeling self-conscious in his clothes. He gave her a once over but said nothing.
“Sure.”
“Good night.”
“Good night, Sam.”
She closed the door and leaned against it.
Chapter Twelve
Chance was having a hard time letting go of the rage that filled him. Who knew what other injuries she bore? He knew physical abuse went with all other kinds of abuse. He paced as he waited for the clothes to dry. It amazed him that she was the way she was, peaceful, nice, caring, despite her ordeal. What kind of monster did that to any woman, irrespective of whatever? Why had she stayed on anyway? Questions swirled in his head like a whirl pool.
He sensed her before she showed up at the door. Even though his PJs looked a tad too big for her, she looked ... great, at home in them. Small and fragile. His heart stirred for her. “You’re not sleeping?”
“I thought I’d help with the laundry. It’s my fault we both got soaked.” She blushed a beautiful shade of red.
“It’s nothing. If you want to go to bed, feel free. Just waiting for the laundry to dry.”
She rubbed her arms. “I’m not sure I can sleep anytime soon.”
“You want to play board games?” He didn’t have anything by way of entertainment, not even a movie. He hardly had time for that. Andy’s educational cartoons would be a sorry alternative. Why would his sister have chosen today of all days to be away? Woman to woman, it would’ve been easier on Sam.
She bit her lip. “Okay.”
“Let’s go to the den.” He stepped out of her way to let her pass. When they got in there, he located the game he and his sister used to play when they were kids. “Have a seat. Did you finish your chocolate yet?”
“Yes, thank you.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and took the seat opposite his. Chance set the game between them. “Do you need anything before we start?”
She shook her head. “No.”
He sat down. “My sister and I used to play this. But I must confess my skills are rusty.”
“Todd and I...” Her gaze jumped to his and she blushed. “We used to play when we were dating. It reminded me of life at my uncle’s.”
Her voice held some nostalgia. Yet, as much as he wanted to ask questions, he refrained.
“Any rules?” she asked with a small smile. “I’d say, same old.”
&nb
sp; Chance grinned. “That works.” For minutes, they played, except that the tension hadn’t left her. He reached out and stopped her. “Hey, look at me.” He waited until she did. “Relax, okay? I’m not going to ask questions, as much as I want to know. I need you to let the tension out so when you go back to bed, you’ll be able to sleep, okay?”
Her eyes welled. “I had no inkling Todd was like that. I mean he wasn’t always like that.” The tears spilled and she wiped it off. “I’m a mess. Maybe, I’ll just go to bed.”
“Maybe you need to let it out,” he said gently, his thumb rubbing the back of her hand.
She blinked back the tears and after a moment regained her composure. “We met in my final year of university at a friend’s birthday party. We struck up a discussion and things went on from there. There was one time when he got really angry over something, but he was a nice guy, or so I thought. I didn’t know how bad his anger problems were.” She swallowed and wiped her eyes.
“When did things change?”
Sam slipped her hand from his and leaned back in the chair, their game forgotten. “Shortly after we got married. We’d dated for six months and all the while went to church together, did things together. I could swear he was a spiritual person. But, right after we got married, he didn’t want to go to church anymore.”
Her face took on a faraway look like she was remembering her ordeal. He wanted to hold her again but now she’d moved beyond his reach and he respected that.
“He cut off my friends, belittled me everywhere and anywhere. And he’d make me feel like I was responsible for why he behaved the way he was. I thought so too. So, I worked harder at pleasing him, but it wasn’t good enough.”
Unable to sit still, Chance rose up and paced. “So, he cut everyone off and you didn’t have anyone to talk to?”
“I couldn’t even talk to anyone. It was embarrassing.”
Chance leaned against the wall and crossed his legs at the ankle. He prayed.
“Then he lost his temper at his superior and threatened him with bodily harm. He got suspended. His dad was the chief of police, but it was a serious offence he committed and the suspension held. And he went from bad to worse.”
