‘Will they though?’ I fret. ‘They might be expecting chapter and verse.’
‘They’ll have to wait until it goes to court.’
I found out yesterday that Leonard’s defence team is applying to see all the notes compiled by my psychiatrist while I was in the Peachick in an attempt to prove my guilt, because he’s now claiming Matty was already smothered in the curtain when he came downstairs and it was me who did it. Leonard’s also saying I wound the flex around his neck first and pushed him down the stairs. Unfortunately, the camera at the top of the stairs was knocked in the melee and only the bottom halves of our bodies are visible in the footage. The solicitor I’ve retained to steer me through the proceedings tells me there is no chance of the request to see my medical records being granted because I am not the one on trial and the ligature marks around my neck, of which the police took photos, prove I was the victim, not Leonard.
Plus there has been a groundswell of support for me from the public since the news of his arrest broke. I spoke to the ENS reporter off the record and he used what I told him to write a piece that essentially implied Leonard had pretended all along to be Limey Stan but without emphatically stating it, so it wouldn’t prejudice the forthcoming trial. Every day since then the papers have been full of stories about how I was unfairly blamed for killing Matty and the horror of me being sent away – on the first day of coverage #HeldeanHaunting and #CaraBelling were trending nationwide.
I take out a compact mirror and reapply my lipstick for what must be the fifth time in twenty minutes. But I am so nervous, I keep licking my lips and taking it off.
‘You look great,’ says Tishk, smiling. ‘You’ve got this.’
I give him a hug. I am so grateful for his friendship. He has barely left my side during the past nine weeks and has acted as intermediary between me and the officers building the case against Leonard when their questions and probing have been overwhelming. I sense his feelings have shifted from platonic to something deeper and, while I am happy about that, I’m not ready to rock the boat between us. I like how things are. I like the stability and the certainty of our friendship. I just hope he will be patient with me.
I sit back in my seat. ‘What time is it?’ I ask.
He checks his watch. ‘Nine-forty.’
‘I should go up.’
He squeezes my hand. ‘Good luck.’
I climb out of his car and shut the door. He’s parked in a pay-and-display bay and has put enough money in for two hours and plans to sit and listen to the radio while I’m interviewed.
Nerves are making my legs shake and I wobble along the street towards the meeting place like a toddler who’s only just learned to walk. I feel so unsure of myself that I have to will myself forward, instead of doing what I’d like to do, which is turn on my heel and run back to the safety of Tishk’s car. Just then, my phone pings with a text from Karen.
GOOD LUCK. GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU’RE DONE TO LET US KNOW HOW YOU GOT ON. X
I smile, grateful for the message. It’s early days still, but I am enjoying getting to know my aunt again. We spend our time together talking a lot about my mum and how she was after I went away. I suspect Karen thinks it gives me satisfaction to know that Mum did suffer because of what she put me through, but I do not want to revel in schadenfreude. I just want to turn back the clock so none of this ever happened.
We talk a lot about my dad too, and I think I have a better understanding of the dynamic of my parents’ marriage now. To the world, they presented themselves as happy and serene, like ducks crossing a calm pond. But beneath the surface Dad was paddling frantically to hold it together financially, working round the clock to provide for us, while Mum was slowly sinking into a pit of boredom and frustration. If only they’d had the guts to admit to one another how unhappy they were, all our lives might have turned out differently.
I’m getting to know Uncle Gary again too. He remains, I am glad to say, blissfully oblivious to our suspicions about him. I think he would be devastated to learn we all thought for a time that he was Limey Stan. Some things are better left unsaid.
Finally, I arrive at the place where the interview is being held. I let myself into the building, take a deep breath and step forward.
‘I’m here to see Roger Grieves,’ I say.
The woman behind the reception desk smiles warmly: I think she can see how nervous I am.
‘What time is he expecting you?’
‘Ten. I’m a bit early.’
‘Is this for the accounts position?’
‘Yes, it is.’
This is the first job I’ve applied for in Heldean and I was taken aback to receive the email asking me for an interview only a day after I submitted my CV. The position is slightly more senior to my role in Colchester, but when I rang Jeannie to give her my version of what’s been going on compared to what’s been in the papers and to explain that I wanted to stay in Heldean, she said she would happily write me a reference saying I was more than capable of fulfilling it and that I would be a great addition to their team. She said she’d miss me though and she also said Donna’s been telling anyone who’ll listen that the two of us were best friends. I don’t mind – it’ll give her and ‘My Martin’ something to talk about.
‘Take a seat and I’ll let Mr Grieves know you’re here,’ says the receptionist, reaching for her phone. ‘What’s your name?’
Now it’s my turn to smile – with pride.
‘My name is Cara Belling.’
Acknowledgements
There are two things every author needs when writing a novel: inspiration for the plot and a brilliant support team to see it to fruition! I was fortunate to have both in spades while writing Shadow Of A Doubt.
The idea for the book came to me one Sunday morning in April 2018, while listening to broadcaster Sue McGregor’s The Reunion show on Radio 4. She had assembled the key witnesses to a 1977 paranormal event known as The Enfield Poltergeist and it was fascinating to listen to their recollections of the now infamous haunting. What happens in Shadow of a Doubt bears no resemblance to what they experienced, but I thank Sue and her team for producing such an inspiring programme and for planting the seed for the character of Cara Belling. Another point of reference was Will Storr’s exploration of the paranormal, Will Storr vs The Supernatural, which I recommend as both an informative and hugely entertaining read. (I defy you not to howl with laughter reading the scene featuring Derek Acorah.)
I want to thank my agent Jane Gregory for championing the book from the moment I breathlessly described the plot to her in her office and also for coming up with a key plot twist! Both were game-changing moments. Thanks also to everyone at the agency, David Higham Associates, for their continued hard work on my behalf, especially Mary Jones, whose feedback on the early chapters was invaluable. Shadow of a Doubt is my first book with Orion and I cannot think of a better home for it. I am so grateful to Francesca Pathak for her boundless enthusiasm, acumen and for never refusing an impromptu brainstorming session! You are a dream of an editor. Thanks also to Lucy Frederick for her editorial support and to the entire Orion team, a brilliantly talented bunch that are rightly credited in full overleaf.
Thanks also to Jo Jhanji, Alison Bailey and Aimee Horton for being my beta readers – knowing how much you loved the book even in its earliest, scrappiest form gave me the impetuous to see it through. I’m also grateful for the endless morale boosting from my fellow crime fiction authors, in particular Erin Kelly, Catherine Ryan Howard and Harriet Tyce, and I also want to thank the incomparable Colin Scott for all the advice and the belly laughs. I certainly couldn’t have done it without you!
Nor could I have managed without the support of my family and friends, especially my daughter Sophie and my partner Rory. Those two put up with my constant daydreaming and vagueness when I am writing the next chapter in my head, my crabbiness when I’ve hit a plot knot I can’t unravel and my exhaustion when I’ve finally reached The End. I cannot thank t
hem enough for their love and patience and for always believing in me.
Credits
Michelle Davies and Orion Fiction would like to thank everyone at Orion who worked on the publication of Shadow Of A Doubt in the UK.
Editorial
Francesca Pathak
Lucy Frederick
Copy editor
Francine Brody
Proof reader
Jade Craddock
Audio
Paul Stark
Amber Bates
Contracts
Anne Goddard
Paul Bulos
Jake Alderson
Design
Debbie Holmes
Joanna Ridley
Nick May
Editorial Management
Charlie Panayiotou
Jane Hughes
Alice Davis
Production
Hannah Cox
Finance
Jasdip Nandra
Afeera Ahmed
Elizabeth Beaumont
Sue Baker
Rights
Susan Howe
Krystyna Kujawinska
Jessica Purdue
Richard King
Louise Henderson
Operations
Jo Jacobs
Sharon Willis
Lisa Pryde
Lucy Brem
Publicity
Alainna Hadjigeorgiou
Sales
Jen Wilson
Esther Waters
Victoria Laws
Rachael Hum
Ellie Kyrke-Smith
Frances Doyle
Georgina Cutler
Also by Michelle Davies
DC MAGGIE NEVILLE SERIES
Gone Astray
Wrong Place
False Witness
Dead Guilty
About the Author
Michelle Davies was born in Middlesex, raised in Buckinghamshire and now lives in north London.
When she’s not turning her hand to crime, Michelle writes as a freelance journalist for women’s magazines, including Marie Claire, YOU and Stylist. Her last staff job before going freelance was as Editor-at-Large at Grazia and she was previously Features Editor at Heat. She began her career straight from school at eighteen, working as a trainee reporter on her home-town newspaper, the Bucks Free Press.
Copyright
First published in Great Britain in 2020 by Orion Fiction,
an imprint of The Orion Publishing Group Ltd.,
Carmelite House, 50 Victoria Embankment
London EC4Y 0DZ
An Hachette UK Company
Copyright © Michelle Davies 2020
The moral right of Michelle Davies to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
All the characters in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is
available from the British Library.
ISBN (eBook) 978 1 4091 9344 9
www.orionbooks.co.uk
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