by Jon Jacks
‘We asked for you…’ the mother adds.
Their voices are hurried, breathless. They’ve been in a rush to get here, obviously.
‘But…how do you know me?’ I ask edgily, hoping, I realise, that they do know me, that they can provide me with answers to why I possess this fault.
‘We don’t,’ the father admits, hurting me far more than he realises or intends with the honesty of his reply.
‘But we have to ask you,’ the woman adds as they at last stand before me, as she tearfully reaches for and takes my hands in hers, ‘what does the presence of the crimson worm mean in Jonah?’
*
‘I’m…I’m sorry…?’ I begin unsurely, taken aback by both the familiarity of this question, yet also the strangeness of this couple asking me what it might mean.
The man’s head droops forlornly.
‘Oh, I knew this was all too good to be true, Gill.’
‘Nonsense, Jim!’ the woman pronounces determinedly. ‘Iona is here; just as Maxine said she would be!’
She looks back resolutely towards her husband.
‘Surly that means something, yes?’
I take this as an opportunity to fleetingly glance the girl’s – Maxine’s? – way.
Can she help me in any way?
My expression must be as imploring as it’s possible to be; and yet the girl offers no help.
She smiles.
I grip the woman’s hands reassuringly.
‘I know it’s not much help,’ I say, wishing I’d never started, realising what I’m about to say is completely useless to them, ‘but that’s a question…well, I’ve sort of asked myself before.’
Wow!
Just how stupid is that statement, right?
I wonder if I should tell them that there daughter is here, watching all this?
But would that freak them out?
Would they think I was crazy?
And what if I’m wrong; what if the girl isn’t their daughter?
I’d be raising their hopes for no reason other than flattering myself that all my suppositions are naturally brilliant.
I hope you’re pleased with yourself.
‘It’s something to do with sin,’ Jim says assuredly.
‘Isaiah,’ Gill explains. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.’
She intones it as if it is a well-practised reading.
‘The worm turns a waxy white after three days after it dies,’ Jim says, offering further explanation. ‘And it’s tied to the wood using some form of cotton thread.’
If the crimson worm represents sin, that would fit with Jesus referring to himself as this worm: didn’t he absorb the sins of the world?
But that’s hardly startlingly new information, is it?
‘It devours the tree God has sent to give Jonah shade,’ Gill adds morosely.
Ah; now that hardly fits with Jesus’ suffering upon the cross, does it?
‘The tree had miraculously grown overnight, making Jonah blissfully content; a life of endless ease, of no cares, no worries,’ Gill continues. ‘Yet God berates Jonah for complaining about the loss of his tree, pointing out he’d had no thought for the people of the city he had expected God to destroy.’
She glances suspiciously at the many serpents snaking their way through the Trees of Life.
The serpent had swallowed Jason as he’d attempted to retrieve the Golden Fleece; but the concoction of the witch Medea, the Kukeon, put the serpent to sleep, restored Jason after he emerged from the serpent…
Now why would I know that?
‘You’re religious?’ I ask, wondering what else to ask, embarrassed by the fact that they know more about this damn worm than I do.
They shake their heads, grin sheepishly.
‘No, no; never, really. Not until, well…until Maxine fell ill. Then, you know – well, you sort of look anywhere for answers, don’t you?’
‘And Maxine, your daughter? Was she religious, then?’
Again they shake their heads, smile shamefacedly.
‘She said religion was fascinating,’ Jim chuckles, ‘as long as you didn’t get too caught up in it all.’
‘Like us, when she knew she was suffering from cancer; well, then she started reading various religious tracks.’
I fleetingly look over towards the little girl.
She doesn’t look old enough to have taken a deep interest in religious matters.
‘We found all the notes she’d been making after she died,’ Gill says.
‘She’d got hung up on finding an answer to this thing about this damn worm,’ Jim adds a little bitterly ‘Even the little details, like how its scarlet dye was used for religious items in the tabernacle, or how it was used for cleansing and purification purposes.’
‘She’d left us a letter containing tickets for this show,’ Gill says, ‘and she’d also written that you – Iona – would have the answer.’
*
Chapter 41
‘I’m really, really sorry: I just can’t understand why she would think that!’
Once again, I wonder if I should let this grieving couple know of the presence of the girl.
Why isn’t she helping me, if she arranged for them to meet me here?
‘The tickets we can understand,’ Jim says. ‘She enjoyed it here so much, particularly this garden. But that was all so long ago, Iona; how would she know you’d be here, as she promised?’
It was a long time ago if the garden was still flourishing.
But yes, how did Maxine know I’d be here? Even if it is Maxine’s ghost who’s been following me around, she’d only be capable of that after she’d died: so how could she leave a letter for her parents telling them to seek me out?
The girl is still refusing to offer me any help working all this out.
Gill looks into my eyes apologetically.
‘Forgive me for asking, my dear, but you must be what; sixteen at most?’
I nod nervously; they obviously don’t realise I’m a droid.
I’m flattered; I don’t want to point out there mistake.
‘You wouldn’t have even been born then when we brought Maxine here as a little girl,’ Gill continues sadly. ‘And as far as we know, she’s had no other contact with Neveah until she died earlier this year.’
‘This year?’
I’m so startled, I blurt out the question without even considering that it might be rude, hurtful.
‘Why yes, it’s only a few month ago since Maxine…passed away.’
Gill tries to bravely smile.
My own expression must be one of blank shock.
The girl can't be Maxine after all.
*
Chapter 42
The girl is gleefully pointing off towards the garden’s entrance once more.
Like all this is so incredibly pleasing to her.
The garden is flowering more than ever. Rapidly, too.
Whoever’s causing it is moving quickly.
Running maybe.
Running towards us.
This time it really is Joel.
*
He picks me up, whirls me around in his arms.
‘I’m sorry, so sorry!’ he says almost tearfully. ‘I’ve been a fool – an idiot! Please say you forgive me!’
‘Of course I forgive you!’
I’m relieved to realise that it’s true: I can forgive him.
I glance over towards Gill and Jim who, like all couples caught up in this type of situation, seem both happy for us and a little embarrassed that they’re having to witness our elated reunion.
I feel ashamed too; it doesn't seem right that Joel and I are so gleefully embracing when they’ve come here seeking answers about their dead daughter.
Apparently sensing my unease, Joel apologetically turns towards the couple.
‘I’m sorry…’ he begins
‘Oh, there’
s no need to apologise,’ Gill reassures him with a smile.
I’m sure it’s a similar smile to the girl’s.
‘We’ll be on our way,’ Jim adds, taking Gill’s hand and preparing to walk away.
‘You know, from a distance, as we'd approached, we’d even hoped…’
She can’t finish her sentence, her face creasing in anguish.
‘Your hair,’ Jim explains for her. ‘Styled so much like Maxine’s…’
‘We’ve obviously bothered you for no reason, Iona,’ Gill apologises, resolutely gathering herself together. ‘We’ve just got to accept that Max has gone…’
‘Let’s get away from these awful serpents at least!’ Jim says with a laugh and a theatrical shudder.
‘No, I’m the one who should be sorry,’ I point out ashamedly. ‘I wish I could have been more help.’
As Gill and Jim have continued to walk away from the garden of trees and serpents, I’ve naturally fallen in alongside them, keeping a hold of Joel’s hand, taking him with me.
Jim shrugs resignedly.
‘Don’t berate yourself, my girl,’ he sighs miserably. ‘We’ve looked for answers ourselves, and come up with nothing.’
‘Frankly, even though we’re hardly committed Christians, we found some of Max’s notes a little disturbing: I mean, thankfully we’ve just left those dreadful serpents behind us – and yet, of course, Jesus himself referred to himself as being a serpent!’
‘Just as Moses lifted up the serpent, so the Son of Man must be lifted up,’ Jim adds helpfully.
‘I suppose that it could be his way of saying he’s taken man’s sins into himself.’
Gill doesn't sound convinced by her own explanation, yet grimaces with distaste when Jim offers another one.
‘Max equated the serpent to knowledge, particularly knowledge of self: if we recognise that we’re worm like, then it leads to recognition and knowledge of God.’
‘Jesus also said he was a worm…’
Gill is obviously appalled by my words.
‘A worm? You’re saying Jesus is a worm?’
Wow! That just doesn’t go down well, does it? Even with supposedly non-religious people.
‘Well, not me exactly; Jesus himself more or less said it,’ I point out defensively.
‘Oh, Gill,’ Jim says, reassuringly clasping one of her hands in his, ‘it’s obviously just another referral to his absorption of sin…’
‘But what sort of answer is that, Jim?’ Gill wails morosely. ‘All this is just…just the sort of stuff anyone knows!’
I hang my head ashamedly.
Why did Maxine send these poor people to me for answers?
They obviously know far more about this bloody crimson worm than I’m ever going to know!
*
Even the remarkable love so clearly on display between Maxine’s parents can’t make the golden flower bloom.
Everywhere else that they’ve walked is abloom, the most glorious garden you could imagine.
Yet the golden flower remains miserably withered.
‘What does it take to make her flower?’ Joel wonders.
I shrug.
It’s yet another question I’m completely incapable of answering.
Joel turns to me, grins happily. Grips my hand a little tighter.
‘If anyone should know, it’s you,’ he says.
‘Me?’ I laugh unsurely. ‘Why me?’
‘Well, just look at you,’ he says, his brightly glittering eyes taking in everything about me. ‘I mean, when I first saw you, I thought you were beautiful; but now you’re more wonderful than ever!’
I’m both flattered and embarrassed by his compliments.
‘Hah, lucky for you, right, that it turned out I had a mind of my own!’
Joel laughs.
‘Well, yes,’ he says, ‘just because you were beautiful didn’t mean that you would also be beautiful inside…’
‘Yeah, I could’ve been incredibly evil…’
I claw my hands, grimace maliciously.
‘Ah, if I’d thought that, I’d never have switched you on…’
Oops.
I wish Joel hadn’t said that.
I glance Gill and Jim’s way: yes, they’d heard.
They’d understood.
I break away from Joel.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t–’
‘No, no! There’s no need to be sorry, Iona,’ Jim insists, his voice strangely excited.
‘It…it – maybe – begins to make more sense…’
Although Gill says this with all the elation of Jim, she still seems to be struggling to bring all her thoughts together.
‘Max had always said how beautiful – how incredibly lifelike – the new droids were…’
‘That was her job; programming girls like you!’
‘She’d know you were bound for Nevaeh…’
‘So…in your programming, did she leave a hidden message for us?’
*
Chapter 43
‘Could that be the simple meaning of the crimson worm? It’s just some sort of trigger; to help you recall the hidden message?’
Gill is now almost ecstatic in her excitement.
‘But…but I’ve known about this crimson worm for a while now,’ I admit, hating myself for bringing this poor couple back down to earth, ‘and I can't think of anything I know that could be a message for you!’
I glance over towards the young girl
All she’s doing is smiling!
That’s it!
Just smiling.
She’s not helping at all!
She’s just standing there, looking bizarrely pleased with everything that’s happening.
But nothing’s happening; not really.
For the life of me, I can’t think of any message that I’m supposed to be passing on from the poor, dead Maxine!
*
‘What have you done?’
The pained shriek comes from behind us.
We all whirl around.
It's the Master, but not the Master I’ve become used to seeing.
All his confidence, his arrogant stature, has gone.
His hair is all completely array, like he’s been anguishedly rubbing his hands through it.
He’s looking about himself at the flowering garden as if it’s all easily the most horrendous, even frightening, thing he’s ever seen.
Gill and Jim stare at the weirdly dishevelled Master in bewilderment, unsure what to make of the arrival of this wild man.
Despite his disturbed appearance – or, perhaps, because of it – Joel makes a few conciliatory steps towards him, his arms spreading in a pacifying gesture.
‘Dad, isn’t it wonderful?’ he says, making me wonder if he really has noticed his father’s outrageous appearance, his crazed demeanour. ‘Isn’t the garden just so absolutely beautiful?’
He raises his arms, gives a little, elated spin on his heels, indicating the gorgeous blooms surrounding us.
‘The garden still works!’ he adds joyfully.
‘Works?’ his father repeats incredulously. ‘Beautiful? No, no: it’s dreadful!’
He stares up at the looming bushes as if they’re about to leap down upon him at any moment.
‘We don’t need the Rooms of Pleasure,’ Joel insists, so wrapped up in his own thoughts he’s unaware of the furious glares his father is giving us all. ‘The Gardens of Pleasure will pay for everything!’
‘Garden of lies, you mean,’ his father spits back at him. Even so, his intensely ferocious glower is now directed only at me.
‘Now I know that what I’ve always suspected about this dreadful garden is true,’ he rasps angrily. ‘It never tells the truth!’
*
Chapter 44
‘Don’t you see, you idiot?’ he snarls at Joel, but furiously pointing at me as he continues, ‘I wanted you two to meet here so you’d know the truth about her!’
‘The truth is she loves me!�
� Joel protests bitterly. He draws his father’s attention back to the soaring blooms. ‘Look; the garden proves it!’
‘The garden proves nothing, you fool!’ the Master growls, adding with his first hints of delight, ‘The garden’s obviously broken!’
Joel reaches up towards one of the perfect blooms, clutching it gently by its stem, tenderly bringing it down towards us all so that we each catch a whispering of its wondrous fragrance.
‘You call this broken?’
‘Yes, broken!’ the Master declares triumphantly, once again aggressively pointing at me. ‘The garden works – should work! – differently to all Nevaeh’s other experiences. It’s supposedly infallible – reading the vibrations, the fluctuations, of your very soul!’
His finger wags at me accusingly.
‘And as we all know, she has no soul!’
*
Chapter 45
What passes for my heart flutters anxiously.
If he’s right about how things work here – and I’m sure he must be – then he’s also right about the garden being faulty.
(Is it me? Do I have this effect on everything?)
I could easily have been fooled into thinking my love for Joel was having an effect on the blooms when the influence was all coming from him.
‘But the garden–’ Joel continues to protest, if now a little weakly, a touch doubtfully.
‘And what was the garden like before these two arrived?’ the Master demands, regarding Gill and Jim with a puzzled glower as if he’s only just been made aware of their presence.
He’s obviously implying that it is their love, not the love between Joel and me, that has made the garden grow.
‘Like this!’ Joel announces gleefully, seeing at last a weakness in his father’s argument.
He fails to mention, thankfully, how the garden had withered everywhere around us as we’d fought.
The Master laughs richly.
‘That was you’re love for her!’ he sneers. He points angrily at me once more. ‘How can she love you? She’s not even programmed for love!’
‘I know what I saw–’
‘You know nothing,’ the Master growls at Joel, ‘and I can prove it!’
He begins to wave his arms commandingly, ushering Gill and Jim, even Joel, back; making them move away from me.
