by C. J. Anaya
“But my illness is gone and my memories are still out of reach. There has to be something you can do.”
He hesitated, then finally relented.
“I can certainly try.”
“If my memories return, we can marry sooner rather than later.”
And I would remember how much I loved him. Then the idea of it wouldn’t scare me so badly.
His lips morphed into a boyish grin.
“I do love the sound of that.”
I snorted and turned my head as I gazed into the fire, feeling Kheelan’s heated look seep into my bones. It wasn’t unpleasant, but I couldn’t say his obvious desire for me was something I felt one hundred percent comfortable with.
He came over to the bed and placed his hands on my shoulders.
“I’m going to do a seeking spell, Crysta. Our healers use this to identify internal injuries. Hopefully, I’ll find some sign of the damage within.”
I held perfectly still as Kheelan mumbled a few words under his breath, I noticed right away a rush of heat swirl through my stomach. My fingertips and toes turned to fire and the sudden desire to grab Kheelan and kiss him senseless hit me with so much force I nearly lifted my arms and took action.
Whoa. Hormone central.
Catching myself, I discreetly slid my hands under my outer thighs. I sincerely hoped sitting on them would give me a modicum of self-control.
After a few moments he released me, but the look on his face wasn’t promising.
“The spell didn’t immediately identify any injuries, which means the backlash of Jareth’s spell made a deeper imprint on your mind. I will continue to try and zero in on the source of the injury, but it may take some time for the damage to become visible.”
I swallowed my disappointment and plastered on a smile.
“Thank you for trying.”
“I’ll try every day until I find a way to help you remember,” he said, giving my shoulders a reassuring squeeze. Suddenly, a flash of guilt sparked within his gaze, but he turned from me so abruptly I had zero time to analyze it. He went to the fire and stood before it with his hands clasped behind his back.
“Whether we retrieve your memories or not, we need to get started on your training as soon as possible. I won’t allow you to leave the mine until you’ve learned enough to defend yourself.”
“But that could take weeks, months even.”
“It might, but something tells me you’ll be a quick study.”
I folded my arms across my chest and angrily tapped my foot on the stone floor.
“All I keep hearing is that I’m stuck here.”
His lips quirked into a tiny smile.
“Stuck with me. Is that really so bad?” His gaze held intense affection for me.
I smiled at his teasing grin.
“Okay,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “I think we should get started now, don’t you?”
An unsettling feeling washed over me. What if I failed miserably, and couldn’t relearn any of it? I opened my lips to protest, but he held up a hand.
“The faster you learn to protect yourself and the faster you learn to master your magic the more invaluable you will be to the cause. Your magical capabilities will be very useful in keeping us both in power. We can’t have a defenseless faerie queen on our hands.” His gaze softened as he studied me. “And I can’t lose you. You must learn how to protect yourself.”
I puffed out my cheeks and exhaled in an annoyed chuff.
“Okay. I think I can handle that as long as I feel like I’m actually accomplishing something and not sitting around here hiding when other people are fighting my battles for me.”
Kheelan’s face glowed with admiration.
“That’s my girl,” he whispered.
He slowly stood and made his way over to the bed. Sitting down beside me, he took me in his arms and held me tight.
“Jareth will not rest until he finds you,” he said in a hoarse voice. “You must promise me you will not venture out of this room. He and your uncle won’t be able to find us this far down into the mine maze, but it would be better if we didn’t take that risk.” He lovingly stroked my hair and pulled back to look at me. “He won’t hesitate to take you from me if he finds you, Crysta.”
“Why does he hate me so much?” I couldn’t understand why anyone would be so determined to kill me.
“You chose me over him. He tried to win your favor, intent on forming a marriage of convenience so he could take over the Seelie Court, but you were in love with me. He didn’t handle the news well.”
I nervously bit my bottom lip. This Jareth character sounded like a real chump. I was suddenly terrified he would find me again and finish the job he’d started. I wouldn’t survive another run-in with Kheelan’s brother.
Yep. I’d be a good girl and play it safe, relearn everything I’d forgotten so I wouldn’t be such a sitting duck in case the very worst happened.
“I promise I won’t do anything risky. I’ll stay as far away from Jareth and my uncle as possible.”
He gave me a warm smile, kissed my forehead, and stood. He walked to the middle of the room before turning around to look at me again.
“Good. Now then, I think we should get started on a few simple spells to see what you can handle.”
A tiny flame of excitement flickered within me.
“What spell should we start with?”
“One all faeries learn at a very young age. A glamour.”
The word glamour brought back a tiny memory fragment. Something about needing a glamour to avoid the advances of human men. Maybe Kheelan’s spell had jogged a memory. I tried to hold on to it, but it was difficult to grasp something so intangible, especially when I couldn’t gain a clear picture of the incident. It must have been something I learned as a child. Even though I was disappointed that I couldn’t hold on to the memory, I hoped this meant my memories would come back.
“What are glamours?” I asked.
“They are magic spells used to change our appearance. We can make ourselves look like anything, really. We can also use glamours to hide what we don’t want found.”
I nodded. That also sounded familiar to me.
“Okay, so what type of glamour do you want me to try?”
Kheelan studied me for a moment, allowing his eyes to slowly take me in from head to toe. When his eyes reached mine again, I couldn’t help the blush his hungry gaze evoked.
His eyes were clouded with desire, but to his credit, he didn’t make a move to touch me or come near me.
Lucky for me, he seemed to have lots of patience.
He cleared his throat before speaking.
“I think it would be best to work on a glamour that disguises your features, especially since we don’t want anyone to recognize you should someone stumble upon you in the future, though that scenario seems very unlikely so long as you stay within the mine.”
“Still, better safe than sorry.”
“Quite right.”
His warm smile pulled at my heartstrings just a little.
Get it together, Crysta. Caution and a little will power never hurt anyone.
I returned his smile and stood, forcing myself to keep my feet planted where they were instead of crossing the distance between us and sliding my arms around him. It would send the wrong signal, I was sure, but the desire to hold him and to be held by him was strong…and a little unexpected. Hadn’t I been more hesitant than these feelings warranted? I shook my head to clear my thoughts and wiggled my arms in preparation for some glamour casting awesomeness.
Yep. My positivity would overcome my bumbling ineptitude.
Famous last words, I’m sure.
“Okay. How exactly do I create a disguise?”
Kheelan hesitated, seeming to need a moment to brush off the tension between us before giving me any instruction.
“You’ll need to create the disguise within your thoughts first. Visualize any changes in eye color, the size of your n
ose, the length of your jaw line, your cheek bones, and even the fullness of your lips. Visualization is key.”
I squeezed my eyes shut as a sharp stab of pain shot its way through my head. I had a memory of a much deeper voice telling me the same thing, but I couldn’t hold onto the memory or see the person giving me instructions. I cried out and grabbed my head as the pain grew worse.
Kheelan suddenly stood before me, offering assistance.
I turned my face toward his chest, breathing in his scent and allowing him to hold and comfort me until the pain went away.
My body relaxed further as his hands caressed my back. He ran fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead.
“Crysta, what happened? Has the illness returned?” he asked.
Chuck fluttered next to me, landing on my shoulder and nipping at me in alarm. I lifted my hand to scratch him behind the ears, reassuring him with my actions since I couldn’t manage any words at the moment.
Dang. Was I predisposed to migraines?
I took in a few deep breaths, hesitant to move. I waited until the pain was completely gone before pulling back to look at Kheelan.
“It was nothing. Just a tiny headache. I should be fine now.”
“That was not tiny, Crysta. Your pain appeared to be excruciating.”
His worry and concern touched my heart. I impulsively lifted myself on my toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. Chuck gave me a disgruntled snort as Kheelan pulled back in surprise, a soft smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“What was that for?” he said.
“For caring about me. For always trying to make me feel better.”
“I always will. I promise you.”
I nodded before taking a few more deep breaths and pulling away. I tilted my head to look at Chuck perched on my shoulder. The scales on his chest glowed a fiery red color, signifying an overprotective, emotional state. Weird that it was directed toward Kheelan. Did he think Kheelan was responsible for the migraine?
Silly dragon.
I gave him one more pat on the head and then transferred him from my shoulder to the sofa. He circled round for a moment, keeping his glare on Kheelan before he settled on his haunches in a huff.
I dismissed his bizarre behavior with a shrug toward Kheelan. It wasn’t really what I wanted to focus on.
The urgency to latch on to the memory that had almost surfaced hit me hard, but my mind was blank again. Nothing but a large void met me when I attempted it one last time. I couldn’t let that discourage me. Obviously, I’d learned how to do a glamour spell before, many years ago when I was much younger. I must have remembered a small part of my training.
I didn’t let my failure to remember discourage me. If these tiny slivers of my life were pressing their way forward to reveal themselves then I just needed to be patient. I wouldn’t tell Kheelan about them either. I didn’t want to get his hopes up in case all I ever got back were tiny fragments of random experiences, but with his magic working to fix what was broken, there was definitely a chance I’d remember everything.
“Visualization,” I said, getting us back on task. “Do I have to create something new or can I try to make myself look like someone else?”
“You’re a quick study,” he said, giving my nose a tweak. “Taking on another person’s identity is a bit more advanced. We want to start out small. Take one aspect of your appearance and change it to look different. Usually eye color is a simple thing to learn.”
My eyes were blue so I decided to picture them a deep green color to match Kheelan’s.
“Can you see it in your mind’s eye?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He nodded. “Good. Hold on to that picture and pull magic from your core.”
“How?”
“Your core is an extension of your will and your will is controlled by your thoughts. It’s very similar to the relationship between the brain and the neural impulses that control movement. You walk without giving your motor skills much thought, but it is your will, your thoughts, and the commands your brain sends to your nerves that allow you to accomplish anything physical. Consider your core a magical brain controlled by thoughts, desires, and will. You want your core to release threads of magic that will facilitate a magical change in appearance. You can consider these magical threads neurons and nerves if it helps you understand this relationship a little better. Eventually, your magic will become an extension of you, magic in motion. Can you picture those threads of magic slipping from your core?”
I closed my eyes and focused on the cold sphere within my chest. Its glorious blues and ambers shot out smoky tendrils of magic as I thought about the task I needed to accomplish.
“I can see them,” I said in awe.
Kheelan let out a soft chuckle.
“Who knew you’d be a natural at this, Crysta?”
Had I not been a natural at this before? His question confused me, but he was already giving me more instructions.
“Keep your eyes closed and concentrate. Hold onto those threads of magic, picture the change you want to make in your appearance, and repeat after me three times: procidat deceptionem mutationem oculus.”
I did as he instructed, repeating the words and feeling a slight tingle around my eyes once I finished the spell.
“Go ahead and open your eyes, Crysta.”
I blinked once, then twice, wondering if my eyesight might have changed along with the color even though that idea didn’t really make much sense. My eyes rested on Kheelan. The slow grin spreading from his tempting lips let me know I’d succeeded in casting this simple spell.
“You chose green?” he asked.
“They match your eyes.”
His beautiful green eyes deepened in color as his look turned hungry. He stepped closer and slowly slid his arm around my waist, pressing me against him.
“You wanted your eyes to match mine?” he said in a husky voice.
“Your eyes are beautiful,” I said, feeling shy all of a sudden. An overwhelming urge to kiss him took hold. I wanted to fight it because I was afraid becoming too physical with him too soon would sabotage what was growing between us.
But it was getting more difficult by the minute to resist him. He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes, breathing me in as I savored his touch. The nearness of his lips tempted me to no end, and at first I thought he was going to close the distance between us. Instead he waited, making no move to go against my wishes. I swallowed hard and bit my bottom lip, fighting against the desire building within me.
Chuck’s low growl effectively broke the spell.
Seriously? He was worse than a chaperon.
Kheelan made a soft moaning sound and reluctantly backed away. My feelings of relief and disappointment raged a war against each other.
“We really can’t afford to get distracted, can we?” he said, a teasing glint in his eye. Then his look grew serious. “I’m a patient faerie, Crysta. I can wait. I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”
I blinked back the moisture forming in my eyes, my shaky inhalations the only indication that I had nearly lost myself to Kheelan. I couldn’t. Not now. Not this soon.
“How long will the spell last?” I asked, fighting to change the subject.
“It’s already faded. Your eye color is back to normal. I…ah…I’m afraid I distracted you with my close proximity.”
My face flamed in embarrassment, which amused him.
“So long as you concentrate on the spell and the change you wish to make to your appearance, you will be able to hold the glamour. Eventually, you’ll get to the point where you’re so practiced at it, you can hold a glamour indefinitely without thinking about it at all.”
“That sounds complicated.”
He shook his head. “It’s simply a matter of practice. Now take a few deep breaths and focus on the change in eye color again. We need to keep practicing until this becomes as easy as breathing for you.”
Kheelan had me cas
t the glamour several times until I could hold it for more than five minutes without losing the illusion. Then he had me practice it while attempting to distract me, which involved him holding me in his arms and lightly tracing his lips along the length of my neck and shoulder, eliciting further warning growls and annoyed snorts from Chuck—also a bit of a distraction.
“Is this really necessary?” I asked after about the third round of this. I gasped in surprise when I felt him lightly press a kiss in the crease where my neck met my shoulder.
He pulled back to study my eyes, mischief teasing his expression.
“Desire, love, passion, and any other emotion that produces a strong response from you can interrupt your concentration. I’m only doing this for your own good.”
“Right, for my own good,” I smirked.
He chuckled, pulling me into a warm embrace before making me start all over again. The constant physical distractions were almost too much for my emotions to handle, but I understood why he was training me this way, even if it was driving me absolutely crazy. After about another hour of practice, he stepped back looking completely satisfied.
“You’ve held the glamour for fifteen minutes even after all the things I did to distract you.”
I swallowed involuntarily just thinking about the feel of Kheelan’s lips against my neck. He gave me a knowing look, but was kind enough to not mention my immediate physical reaction to him.
“I want you to take a look in the mirror and see the difference.”
I followed his gaze to the large mirror hanging over my armoire. It was framed in cherry wood with tiny butterflies carved into the corners. I quickly approached it and sucked in a shocked breath at the emerald green of my eyes.
It was a small victory, but I couldn’t help the satisfied grin spreading across my face. Kheelan came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my hair back to kiss my neck.
“You are going to be just fine, Crysta. You’ll be at full power before you know it.”
I leaned against him and let his love fill me. As I stared at my reflection in the mirror, a strange mark on my right temple caught my eye. They looked like gold rings overlapping each other.
