by C. J. Anaya
“No,” he growled, gripping my shoulders and pulling me to him. “I don’t want to know any of it, but I need to know all of it. I need to know how far he’s burrowed into your heart. I need to know how much damage he’s done to our relationship, and I need to know what exactly I’m up against when it comes to how you feel about him because no matter what he’s managed to make you feel or make you think you feel, I know for a fact that it doesn’t hold a candle to what we have. You may have responded to his touches and his kisses, but I guarantee you’ve never responded to him the way you’ve responded to me before…or the way you’re about to respond to me now.”
And suddenly I was in his arms, one hand pressing against the small of my back, the other gripping the nape of my neck and then his hot, moist lips were on mine and all thoughts of indifference, of icy walls, and withheld emotions went right out the window as I automatically wrapped my arms around his waist and let him pull me even closer until there was zero space between us. This wasn’t a gentle kiss, a playful exchange, or a soft lover’s caress. This kiss held fiery passion, possessiveness, and an intense need that made my insides quiver and heat pool from my chest to my limbs and back again. His hands gripped the fabric of my nightgown as his lips demanded more of me, all of me, everything I had to give and then some.
And he was right. I’d never responded to Kheelan like this, and I knew I never would. How could I when Jareth’s proximity, his touch, and his affection made everything I could possibly feel take on a bright beautiful intensity that caused my nerve endings to explode with sensation and my limbs turn to jelly? I ran my fingers along his jaw line, loving the way the stubble rubbed against my skin as his passionate kisses took hold of me, consuming me with his need. I loved the feel of his arms around me, the intoxicating scent of a summer’s rain on his skin, and the soft texture of his silvery white hair as I ran my fingers through the silky strands. He sucked on my bottom lip and drew a moan from me that only urged him onward.
He kissed me like it was the last time he would ever lay eyes on me, like it was the last time he’d ever be allowed to touch me, so urgent and filled with desire, I couldn’t have pushed him away even if I’d wanted to. I gasped, coming up for air when he broke the seal of our lips and planted moist kisses along my jaw line, my cheeks, my forehead, and temple. My breathing was just as labored as his and I clung to him, afraid if I let go I wouldn’t be able to stand on my own two feet.
“That’s not fair,” I said in a breathless voice. “You…need to keep your distance, you need to give me time, give me space. You don’t play fair.”
“Give you space,” he snarled. “So you’ll have time to build up your ineffective walls and push me away?” He kissed me again, ferocious this time and didn’t let me up for air until I was shaking with need. Then he broke away again, gripping the back of my neck and locking his gaze with mine. “You are my fated mate, Crysta. You may expect me to be chivalrous and polite, keeping my distance and my damn hands off you until you’ve worked Kheelan out of your system, but I’ve never claimed to be a saint, and I’ve never once considered myself a gentleman. I’ll never force you to do anything you don’t want to do, but I have no intention of playing fair because this isn’t a game to me.”
He gave me one more searching kiss and finally released me. His eyes glittered with a determination that gave me chills. He wasn’t going to give me space to work through this, and that both annoyed and thrilled me. Two opposing emotions that were currently at war with one another.
“Get some rest,” he said in a husky voice, clearly fighting for a little control.
Geez, he wasn’t the only one. My hormones were raging like a teenager on prom night. The thought was strange and foreign to me since I had no idea what prom night was even though I was pretty sure it had to do with human customs. It distracted me enough to take a few steps back. I stared at him, realizing I was never going to be able to keep my feelings neutral if he ever did anything like that again.
“I think we should keep physical contact to a minimum,” I said.
His eyes narrowed.
“Because you liked it too much.”
“That’s not true.”
His lips quirked into a dangerous smile as he took a step forward.
“No games, Crysta. I love you, I want you, and I will not rest until you are mine again. I don’t care if you ever remember me or not. We’ll make new memories now. Like the one we just made tonight.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and I had to fight to keep the glare on my face. “You fell in love with me once. You’ll fall in love with me again.”
“Anyone ever tell you to check your enormous ego at the front door?” I asked letting my annoyance seep into my tone.
He smiled at me in delight and that really pissed me off.
“You did. All the time.” He let out a low chuckle that did some very unwelcome things to my insides. “Good night, wife.”
“I’m not your wife, you idiot.”
He looked at my lips suggestively and then bit his own making my eyebrows raise in disbelief. This faerie was an incorrigible flirt.
“Of course you are,” he said, and then turned, opened the door, and sauntered out of my room, closing the door behind him.
Unbelievable, this guy.
Okay, so his kisses made me go weak at the knees and my ability to think rationally went out the window when he touched me, but that’s just because he’d caught me off guard. I would be on my guard constantly now. I turned back to my bed, a new plan forming as I pulled back the sheets and crawled in.
If Jareth thought all he had to do was kiss me senseless to get me to agree to this whole fated mate business, he was in for a rude awakening.
I was nobody’s damn wife.
Freaking punk.
If I’d had any hope of Jareth backing off a bit, that hope died the moment I opened the door to my room and found him leaning against the wall waiting for me the next morning.
“What are you doing here?” I huffed.
He seemed amused by my surliness.
“You never did like mornings. Glad that hasn’t changed.”
“Why is that?”
He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him.
“Because I love to be the one to put you in a good mood.”
He buried his face in my neck and lightly grazed its curve with his teeth while tickling me along my ribs.
“Jareth,” I gasped, half-giggling and more than a little annoyed by how nice it felt. I wriggled out of his grip, but couldn’t help the goofy grin on my face.
Dang it.
He smiled at me, full of affection and then placed his arm around me, directing me down the austere stone hall toward the dining area where Roderick, Graul, King Vargis, and Mira were already seated, eating a tempting breakfast of fruits, cheeses, and nuts.
Roderick grinned in delight as we joined them and quickly stood to give me a kiss on the cheek and a fatherly hug. It surprised me how nice and familial it felt.
“Are we leaving soon?” I asked. I’d made the mistake of sitting at the end of the bench which gave me zero room to maneuver once Jareth planted himself right next to me. I glared at him as the heat of his thighs seeped into mine, but he merely smiled and rested his hand on the small of my back.
At this point, the only thing I could do was ignore the physical contact and pretend it didn’t effect me even though Jareth’s knowing grin made me think he was aware it already had.
This wasn’t going well.
Ice queen persona, don’t fail me now.
“I’m going to stay here and plan out the details of the delegation meeting with the Saytr King and his lovely wife, but I think it best if you two get back to the palace and begin work on retrieving your memories. After you finish eating, of course.”
I panicked at the thought of being left alone with Jareth. My plan last night after he left me in such an overheated, frazzled state involved never being alone with him again.
> “Is Graul coming back with us? Because I think our first order of business should be releasing his people from their captivity within the sprite mines. Then we can all work together on extracting my memories.”
“I protect queen. I follow Crysta,” Graul stated.
I gave him a grateful smile most likely tinged with pathetic desperation. I would never let Graul out of my sight.
Ever.
Safety in numbers.
“I think that’s a very good idea. We’ll need the Stargis on our side if we want to depose King Moridan,” Roderick said.
I nodded, giving Graul a happy smile while Jareth gave me a wary look. It was obvious I was up to something, and he didn’t seem to like it one bit.
Good.
Time for Jareth to be off-balance for a change.
Apparating back to the sprite mine was an embarrassing affair. I insisted on using my own magical skills to get me to the tunnels the moment Jareth held out his arms and expected me to willingly jump into them.
No physical contact.
It was another part of my brilliant “Ice Queen” plan to keep him at a safe, non-threatening emotional distance, thank you very much. I did not want him enfolding me into those tantalizing arms of his for even one micro-second.
“This is ridiculous,” Jareth said while Graul, Roderick, and the other two royals looked on in bemusement. “You’ve only disapparated by yourself a few times, and only when you were in a panic. I don’t need you accidentally apparating your top half to the mines while leaving your lower extremities here in the dining hall.”
Huh?
I turned to Graul.
“Is that a thing? Could I really do that?”
Graul tilted his head and looked at Jareth in confusion.
“It is not—”
He cut off, his eyes going wide as he stared at Jareth before nodding at me and saying, “Yes. Split in half. Probably.”
I snapped my head around to take in Jareth’s innocent expression, but King Roderick’s stifled snort and Mira and Vargis’ knowing grins were enough to clue me in to the fact that Jareth was trying to submarine me.
Which would be so easy to do since I was totally gullible.
Not a battle-worthy attribute.
“You two are full of bat guano,” I said.
King Vargis erupted into laughter and the rest of the occupants followed suit. Jareth’s eyes twinkled in amusement. Even Graul held a hint of a smile on his lips.
I ignored it and decided to reason with him instead. Probably the best way to handle Jareth at this point.
“If I’m supposed to be some powerful Unseelie queen then I need to be able to do something as simple as this spell. I should practice on my own…without your yummy arms around me.”
See? Super reasonable.
Wait. Had I said yummy out loud?
“You think I have yummy arms?”
Definitely out loud then.
Dang it all!
His little smirk was highly irksome. He took a step closer, a predatory look on his face. I inched back, giving him my best don’t-even-think-about-it glare.
“Crysta,” Jareth tried again, opening his arms in a cajoling way.
Yeah, no way I was waiting around for him to finish that sentence.
“Peace out,” I muttered.
I closed my eyes, swiftly visualized the tunnels, and pulled on my core magic. I heard Graul let out another confused grunt and Jareth mutter an expletive before I felt the pull and pressure of transporting myself from one place to the other. The dank smell of the tunnels met my nostrils. I couldn’t say it was a pleasant smell, but it was familiar and that was something positive.
I opened my eyes, pleased to discover I’d managed to land exactly where I’d intended. The three tunnel openings within the cave were a welcome sight.
I’d just apparated the crap outta that spell.
Success.
I’d never admit to glancing down at my lower half to make sure my limbs were actually there. I might have even checked to see if my right and left legs had been magically switched, but I’d never tell Jareth that.
He and Graul didn’t end up where I’d landed. I heard some shouting down the right tunnel and realized we hadn’t nailed down exactly where we were all going to apparate to within the mines.
Oops.
“Over here, guys,” I shouted.
A few moments later Jareth appeared with a disgruntled look.
“Crysta, you can’t just apparate to a large location without nailing down the details. It could have taken hours for us to find each other.”
Graul followed behind him, calm as you please, and placed a supportive hand on my shoulder.
“Crysta did well. Graul proud of queen.”
“Why thank you, Graul. I do appreciate the encouragement.”
I gave him an exaggerated hug while flashing Jareth a sickly sweet smile over Graul’s shoulder.
The Stargis chuckled, most likely catching on to this little battle of wills between me and Jareth, but he hugged me back, bless him.
Jareth cleared his throat in annoyance.
“Where exactly are the Stargis located?”
I pointed to the middle tunnel and moved toward it. Jareth held out a hand to stop me.
“I’ll lead the way,” he said. “You stay between us.”
I rolled my eyes at this alpha male attitude.
“We’re not in any danger down here unless you count the elusive Sprites within the walls.”
We inched into the tunnel. As the darkness settled over our group I sucked in a sharp breath.
“I was actually more concerned about your claustrophobia, Crysta.” His voice was a bit too dry for my liking. I let out a prim little sniff.
I could totally handle a dark tunnel. I’d done it plenty of times before…with Kheelan coddling me the whole way. Well, that wasn’t a great memory to call forth at the moment.
I felt Jareth run a hand down my left arm before lacing my fingers in his. The cold sweat forming over my skin gave way to rushes of fire licking across my nerve endings.
I’d allow it for now. If I lost myself to my phobia again I wouldn’t be in any shape to free anyone.
“Do you remember the first time we ever danced together?” he asked.
That shocked me for a moment.
“Uh...no. Not at all.”
“Well, maybe I should back up a bit and inform you that you are the most beautiful ballet dancer in all the nine realms.”
“Come again?”
“Come where?” Graul asked. “We not come, we go.”
Jareth let out a chuckle.
“It’s just a saying, Graul. One of many I’m finally getting used to. Anyway, you trained for a good portion of your life to become a professional ballerina. You had big dreams of auditioning for a professional ballet company and being a principal dancer.”
“Really?”
My panicked thoughts and heavy breathing due to the dark, enclosed space evened out as this new bit of information about myself took center stage.
Pun intended.
Me? A professional ballet dancer? I tried to come up with one technical aspect of the art that might kick start a memory, but since I couldn’t remember ever putting on a single pair of tights let alone taking a dance class, I came up with bupkis.
Nada.
Nothing.
“Well, what happened? Did I audition?”
There was a moment of heavy silence before Jareth responded.
“No. No you didn’t.”
Well, that didn’t sound like me. I wasn’t a quitter, was I?
“Why not?”
He let out a heavy sigh.
“I came along and we fell in love. We…sacrificed a few things for each other along the way.”
Huh.
I gave up a professional ballet career for a dude? Who does that? Some lovesick idiot, that’s who.
I needed to reevaluate my life.
Once
I remembered it.
Then, of course, I had to remind myself that Jareth gave up an entire kingdom for me. If I was comparing sacrifices on a scale of one to ten, Jareth’s sacrifice seemed more like a ten and mine seemed more like an eight.
Still. He gave up his birthright and an entire kingdom for a chick. One who no longer remembered him.
Looked like my faerie prince needed to do some serious reevaluating as well.
Not my faerie prince. Never mine. Stupid fated mate bond.
“But we danced together? Are you some tights-wearing metrosexual?”
Jareth let out a loud chuckle. I couldn’t see it, but I was sure he was shaking his head. I pictured the soft brush of his silver hair along his shoulders before snapping myself out of my stupor.
“I went to one of your classes with you. It just so happened you were in need of a partner, and I was more than happy to oblige.”
“Since when do you know ballet?”
“I’ve lived a long time, Crysta. Been round the block or two.”
“Blocks not round. Square shaped,” Graul grunted.
“I’m beginning to understand why my ignorance of your slang terms grated on your nerves, Crysta.” Jareth said. “In any case, it was the first time we ever danced together. The first time I felt like I was actually getting through to you when it came to how I felt about you, and how I knew you felt about me.”
His voice had become a little hoarse, heavy with an emotion I didn’t want either one of us exploring. I’d been so focused on his words, I hadn’t paid attention to his mood. He suddenly spun me around and pressed my back against his chest as his arms crossed in front of my stomach for a moment. Then he rested his hands on my waist.
