by Erin Raegan
Some stood defiantly, but there were so few of them that refused to kneel.
Tears dripped off my nose and onto my chest.
“You saved my king,” Tahk whispered. “Even now, you tuck away your fright and fight for him. I am honored to call you my queen.”
A loud roar shook the ground, and I looked. Up above us, lying on his back on a tall stone platform in the center of the ice field, was Uthyf. Several robed figures stood around him, chanting and waving bowls of burning powder.
The crowd looked up from their knees and watched as Uthyf roared his fury into the sky. He was bare-chested and glistening with sweat. Even in the freezing cold he was sweaty. Chains held his arms to a tall stone post, and more chains held his waist to the ground. His wings were spread wide and beating back against the stone.
My breath caught, and my hand tightened in Tahk’s.
“I will escort you,” he said as he stood.
I didn’t flinch as Tahk picked me up and jumped into the sky. I didn’t tremble when he landed on top of the flat stone. I didn’t make a sound as the healers surrounded us.
But when I stood in front of Uthyf and looked into his furious eyes, I flinched, I trembled, and I let loose a small, terrified gust of air.
But I wasn’t afraid of Uthyf. I didn’t think I ever could be. Somewhere, sometime ago, I had accepted that Uthyf was safe. He was trustworthy. And I knew, deep down, with a certainty that shocked me that he would never harm a hair on my head. I was his Pythe and it was expected, but it was also Uthyf.
No, I wasn’t afraid of him. I was afraid of the future. The very near one and what I was expected to do with a sea of witnesses and everything that would come after.
Then Gryl, Yeln, Zybyl, Lohr, Hrick, and the other members of Uthyf’s personal guard were there, and they surrounded us, kneeling and bowing their heads. Tahk backed away and knelt with them. They looked upon me with respect and reverence and I— I felt like I didn’t deserve it.
I hadn’t done anything to earn that kind of regard. I had touched Uthyf, just once. And I had doomed us both.
Gryl gently guided me to Uthyf. I looked at him and blinked away heavy tears.
“My queen, your king waits for you,” he murmured. “I will be by your side, as will every member of your House.”
My House.
I barely felt my feet as I stepped forward. I was both numb and electrified. I wanted to run far away, but I saw him. Uthyf was in pain and I was the only one who could ease it.
Uthyf snarled and roared, thrashing against his chains as I got closer. I stopped when my toes touched his chains, and I pushed my heavy coat from my shoulders. My feet were frozen to the stone, but when my coat dropped, I felt the cold bite all over my body through the thin robe barely covering me. Large bowls of blue fire heated the air around me, but it wasn’t enough. I was shivering, my teeth chattering, and I welcomed it. It helped me focus. It drew me outside of myself as I knelt at his side.
The cold was a familiar friend. I embraced it, let it numb me and take me far away from this place.
Far away from the dark memories that haunted me.
I looked into his eyes as I straddled his bucking body and imagined I was dipping into a frozen lake. The wind quieted, and the bodies surrounding me slipped away.
I closed my eyes and took him into my body as I drifted into the cold—far, far away from here.
15
Mona
Warmth surrounded me, driving my head up and up until I burst through my cold, dark abyss, gasping for air.
A sharp sting in my neck chilled me as warm thick blood dripped into my mouth.
Uthyf, unchained, looked into my eyes as he pulled his cut thumb away from my mouth.
My hand went to the fresh bite on my neck, covering it. There was no going back now. I could taste his blood as he could mine and it would bind us together forever. My chest cramped and I gasped as thick tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Hush,” he whispered in my ear. “I have you.”
My body bucked as I expelled my sobs into his chest. My chest tightened painfully, but I wound my arms around his shoulders, clinging to him. He murmured in my ear as he rubbed his warm hand up and down my back.
My coat was thrown over my shoulders and Uthyf wrapped it around me, bundling me as he stood. He walked to the edge of the stone platform and a cheer rose through the air, swallowing everything in its thunderous sound.
Uthyf roared in return and spread his wings. “My Dahk!” He boomed into the cold night. “Your queen has been chosen!” The Dahk roared into the sky as one. “The ancestors have seen her spirit and honor, and demand she serve our kingdom! She has survived the mating rage and sealed our bond! She is a human but she is a warrior and now Dahk!”
The crowd roared again. Stomping their feet and beating their wings.
He shot into the air, and the wind whipped around me. I curled deeper into him, and he hunched around me as he flew toward the castle. He landed outside his balcony. I watched our guards land behind him and follow us into his room.
“Leave us,” he ordered, marching into his bedroom.
Uthyf shut the door and gently set me on the bed. Then he knelt at my feet and pulled the coat from my shoulders. I looked at my hands as I cried.
“Mohna, love, look at me.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t look at him. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. His dark lavender hands settled on my thighs and smoothed up to my hips, curling around them.
“I’m sorry,” I blathered though my tears. “I didn’t mean to.”
Uthyf made a growly sound of concern and stood, settling me farther back on the bed. He laid me down and settled in behind me, curling his big body around mine. “You are not at fault, my Mohna. It was meant to be.”
“You didn’t want it though,” I continued, covering my face with my hands. “You were avoiding this.”
“I was foolish. I knew what you were to be to me, and I was a coward.” His hand flattened on my belly and pulled me into his body.
“You knew?” I sniffled and wiped my nose.
“I’ve suspected for some time now. I was drawn to you. My instincts were not wrong.”
“Is that why you don’t like me?”
Uthyf made a choked sound and shook his head above mine. “No, love, I was enamored with you. I regret how well I disguised it.”
My breath caught. I rolled to face him, and his hands pushed into my back, pressing me into his chest. “You’re different then I though you were.” I liked him too. I could see it now. In the beginning I was so good at hiding it, I thought I hated him. But the pull to him was always there. I fought it and it came out as anger and fury and then it changed.
Uthyf smiled sadly. “Will you let me lie beside you?”
I flushed and looked at his bare chest.
“I will do nothing but hold you.”
I nodded, and he sagged against me, clutching me tighter.
My breathing evened out, and I found myself relaxing. I wasn’t afraid of him. I wasn’t afraid he would force himself on me. But I was afraid. I was afraid of what I was feeling. I was afraid of tomorrow. I was afraid of waking up to his indifference. But for the moment, I let it slide away.
“I deeply regret you did not enjoy yourself,” he whispered like a confession.
He was talking about it. Sex. I hadn’t enjoyed it. But I didn’t hate it. I’d blocked it out. I wasn’t in any pain. Remarkably, he hadn’t hurt me. I had been warned he wouldn’t be able to control himself. But it had been quick, then it was over.
“I-I’m sorry I wasn’t better at it,” I confessed back. I wished I were capable of enjoying the act. But that part of me had been ripped away.
Uthyf growled and tensed against me. “You were magnificent. You were warm and wet and I have never felt anything so exquisite in all my sunrings.”
Little butterflies took flight in my stomach, and I shifted against him. “Really?”
“One day,
my Mohna, you will know the power your beauty holds. I vow it.”
I drifted to sleep, peaceful but troubled. But I slept deeply and didn’t once wake from a nightmare.
16
Uthyf
I watched her sleep, unable to take my eyes from her. Her lips were parted and I stared at their pink tint, entranced by the desire to taste her there. I counted the brown dots along her face and pert nose, fighting the craving to lick them. My hands were full of her curves, and I raged against the instinct to roll her over and memorize every dip and valley.
But my Mohna had been hurt. She had known pain and suffering, and it would take time for her to trust me. I was a patient king, and though my queen would test it, I would not fail her in this.
A human. I sighed into the darkness. Our road would be fraught with danger and trials the likes of which no other king had suffered. But it was done, and I found myself unable to regret it. I had tried to stay away from her, knowing what she would become to me. I had tried to distance myself, but she drew me close with every look, with every word.
I should have realized my resistance was futile. I could have prepared her. I could have taken the time to ease her fears, to earn her affection. But it was too late. I regretted that the most.
If there was to be a human mate for me, I could not have asked for better. I had been truly blessed by the ancestors. In one eve, she’d endeared my Dahk to her. By throwing herself into harm’s way to protect me, she’d earned their favor. Never would I have imagined so many would travel to bear witness to our union. But when I arose from my rage, I found myself surrounded by my Dahk, surrounded by their acceptance—reluctant as it may be. They’d bowed to their king and queen, and I knew she would not crumble under the pressure.
My Mohna would face it head-on and burn it away with her fire.
17
Mona
I woke up hot and sweaty. I was draped along Uthyf’s chest with my hands curled under my body and my thighs on either side of his middle.
It was familiar position to me now.
For the last three weeks, I had woken up just like this. That first morning, I hadn’t had any time to be embarrassed. Alyn had been screeching in the sitting room and Uthyf had sat up so quickly, I nearly toppled over the side of the bed. For all its size, we were lying on the far edge.
That had been a bad morning. She had demanded I leave, but Uthyf had instead told her to go. They were done. Apparently, they had been done for a while, but she had been fighting it. But that morning, she pointed her finger at me and opened her mouth and that was it. Uthyf picked her up and tossed her out of the room.
After that, I was quiet and withdrawn and Uthyf let me have my space. He was watchful as we ate breakfast, but he didn’t bother me. After a quick and surprising nuzzle to my neck, he left for the day. It was exactly what I needed. I took my time getting dressed, then I continued on my day as though nothing new or strange had happened.
Oh, everyone gawked at me, and there had been a whole lot of bowing and “my queens”. That had been strange enough. But I did my best to ignore it and reported to the kitchen for work.
Isin had about fallen over when I walked in. He was tripping over his words and his feet, and it hurt. He treated me differently and told me I didn’t need to work in the kitchen anymore, but I didn’t want to leave. I loved it there. So every time someone had tried to do my work for me, I glared at them until they backed off. Eventually I was left alone, but it wasn’t the same.
And then Uthyf found me.
I had been cleaning up after making last meal when he stormed into the kitchen. There had been words—a lot of them. A lot of cursing and screaming from me and a lot of growling and roaring from him. I was a queen now, he told me. I didn’t do ‘servants’ work’. But what else was I supposed to do? I didn’t know anything else.
Our argument continued all the way to the bedroom and long into the night, until a compromise had been agreed on.
In the mornings, I would work with Myrna. She was to walk me through all the goofy things that were expected of me. Looking after the castle, attending events with Uthyf, listening to the Dahk’s grievances—not that anyone ever sought me out—and essentially looking and acting the part. After that torture, I was allowed to help in the kitchen. But it was never the same.
I learned pretty quickly that wasn’t totally a bad thing. Isin got control of first and last meal, but mid meal was mine. He followed my orders and he frequently grumbled about how impossible I was, but only ever under his breath. It would take time for him to work up the nerve to yell at me again, but I had faith he would eventually get there.
Then the last part of the day was reserved for Uthyf, and it eventually became my favorite part of the day. Sometimes he took me on trips, showing me all the amazing parts of his world. Introducing me to Houses of different regions. I had to show my face, meet with the Dahk.
There was some scorn, some dirty looks. But Uthyf’s guard surrounded me, treating me with respect, and it was seen and others followed suit.
Sometimes we didn’t go anywhere. Uthyf schooled me on politics and discussed important happenings, or he taught me Dahk history. Sometimes we just went for walks or talked. All the while, the castle habitants watched, smiling softly and whispering as we passed.
But every night, he touched me. He started off small. Little touches here or there, then quick embraces, then longer ones. Last week, we had graduated to nuzzling and hand-holding. Before I knew it, he was hugging me every time he saw me and I was giving him soft kisses on his jaw.
And every night I fell asleep with him curled around me and woke with me draped across him. Every time we woke up, we lingered a little longer, whispering and holding each other before we started our day. His hand would linger on my face, tracing my scars with gentleness and a sad light in his eyes. He would tell me how beautiful I was and it would stir the slowly growing fire inside me.
My body started to feel things, yearn for things, and I found myself testing our boundaries. I would curl a little closer to him. I was braver with my hands, touching him more and more. I explored every dip and valley of his chiseled, ridged chest and the thin skin on the insides of his wings.
And he did the same. He never moved under my silk sheath, but he pet my hips and thighs, down my arms and shoulders. When he reached my back, I would tense, but slowly he worked me through it. He never lingered on the raised, jagged edges of my scars but caressed them until my frame loosened.
I knew he was suffering from the petting, but he never let on or stopped me. When he reached his limit, he nuzzled my neck and disappeared into the bathing room. But it was getting harder and harder for me calm down after he left.
This morning, he made a soft sound in the back of his throat, a low groan, and tightened his hand around my hip. The other one was behind his head, curled into a fist, his long ridges spread out above his head like a dark halo. I dropped my nose between his pecs and inhaled. He always smelled as if he’d just gotten out of the bath. Even after he sparred with Tahk or his guards, he smelled citrusy and a little spicy. I wanted to walk around with my nose buried in his chest all day.
A soft snore escaped him, and I grinned. It was rare that he slept longer than me. Normally he was wide awake and watching me by the time I woke up, and I didn’t want to waste this rare opportunity. I uncurled my hands and leaned on my elbows, hovering over him.
He always redirected me from his horns, so I drifted a finger down the outside of his left one. It became clear pretty quickly why he shied away from my touch there. Something hard and hot thickened under me. I froze as my belly grew hot in answer. I marveled at the strong arousal that shot through my veins. It had been so long since I felt it, and never this strongly before.
Testing it, I shifted my bottom and bit my lip when the friction sent sparks up my thighs. I shifted again and shot up to sitting. I felt as though I was about to come out of my skin. I couldn’t stop myself from grinding harder. Uthyf
’s hands clamped down on my hips and stilled me.
I whimpered, and his eyes shot open. They were heated but wary. “Love, what are you doing?”
“I-I don’t know.” I shifted anxiously.
His claws bit into my hips, and he groaned low and deep, sending more shivers through me. My mouth dropped open and I rocked my hips again. Uthyf gnashed his teeth and threw his head back into the bed. I watched his neck strain, the veins bulging out, and I shivered.
I rocked again, and he snarled. My belly rippled and my hands dug into his pecs. Uthyf sat up and curled his hands around my ass. I waited for the fear to kick in, the sick roll to wash over me. But it never did. His eyes flared, and he rocked me himself.
My head dropped back, and I groaned low and long. Uthyf huffed and rocked me again. His hands left my hips, and he ripped his pants down from under me. My eyes widened when my naked core met his hard shaft. It became immediately apparent to him just how wet I had become. My thighs were coated, and now so were his.
Uthyf cursed and dropped his head into my chest. I leaned back to avoid getting smacked by a horn, but all it did was shift me against him again. Then I was grabbing his horns and rocking in earnest.
I cried out, and he snarled. I rocked and rocked, chasing that feeling, reaching for the end. Thrilled at the lack of fear, the new euphoria flooding me. Uthyf nuzzled my chest, biting at the neckline of my gown. One strap fell off my shoulder and my breast popped free. I whimpered when my nipple scraped against his lips, and I gasped when he nuzzled it again. His hands took over, pulling me down and rocking me quickly as he dragged his lips across my nipple.
I used his horns to drag his face away and I wrapped my hand around his head, dropping my mouth to his. He snarled from losing his prize, but when my lips met his, he froze. I whined and ground down, spreading my labia around his girth. He had ridges and bumps that drove me completely out of my mind, dragging against my clit until I was panting into his gaping mouth. I licked his lower lip then darted my tongue inside. He stiffened, and his claws lightly scraped down my bare thighs as he groaned into my mouth. I licked his tongue desperately and he licked me back, once again taking over at my hips. I fused my mouth to his and kissed him with all the desperation I was feeling in my belly.
