No, I’m not calling him stupid. He’s literally out of it. Except for Innocents, we really don’t like being awake during the day. He’s running on fumes with the faculties of a drunken housecat, fumbling around in the dark at anything he thinks might be moving and edible. Basically, he’s operating at the mental level of a television network executive—you know, like the bastards who cancelled Firefly.
I look down at my sneakers. It’s not too unnerving anymore to see them so far off the ground. But it is when I’m not flying. Shit. 2:40 or so left on the timer at a guess. Dude’s a mental grapefruit right now, so there’s no way he’s going to be able to process what a bomb is even if he realizes the huge bump in the carpet shouldn’t be there. I don’t have to worry about defending the device… just getting the hell out of here before it incinerates me, too.
Seems the guy is confused because I don’t smell like a mortal.
What the hell did I do to wake him up? Can’t think of any noise I made.
He might be huge, but he only weighs so much. I grab his hands, peeling his thumbs away from my hoodie while planting my feet in his chest and shoving as hard as my legs are capable of. Having my back against the wall helps. ‘Nathan’ flies back, losing his grip on my sweatshirt. Awesome. I much prefer not running outside topless. Honestly, I’m not sure what would be worse… sitting in the car with my Dad like that or dying in a blast down here.
I zip away heading for the exit… but shit, all the corridors out kinda look the same. Which way is it?
Seconds later, the dude comes after me, grabbing my ankle as I attempt to fly off. Growling, I roll over onto my back, kicking at his hand. He’s so mentally blank at the moment, he just holds on, oblivious to my sneaker smashing into his fingers. I’m almost afraid to sprout claws and slash him. Extreme pain might set him off like the Tasmanian Devil. He’s presently unaware of me as a threat, and my continued existence is highly dependent on allowing him to continue not knowing what to think of me.
If this dude goes full feral, I’m going to be in multiple pieces. It’s really damn difficult to run away from a bomb when one’s legs are detached from their body. Around and around I go like an angel trying to fly with one ankle chained to a stone pillar, frantically searching for the way out. Everything looks the same. I’m about to try dragging the dude to the case so I can disarm the bomb, but ooh! I spot a corridor without any openings on either side. That one has to be the way out. Every other passage leading away from this hub room has multiple doorways.
Screw it. Gotta have less than a minute left on the clock.
I draw my katana and size up his wrist for a slice. The instant I make the decision to hack his hand off, he growls and hammer-throws me by the leg into the wall. Ouch. Not sure what hurts more, my face, my probably dislocated hip, or my ankle.
His snarl of rage is all the motivation I need to push off the wall and fly like hell for the exit. There’s no time for a fight in here. ‘Nathan’ is on my ass, flying behind me, grabbing at my legs. Going full speed down a hundred-foot corridor isn’t the wisest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t stop in time to make the ninety-degree turn going straight up.
I smash into the wall.
‘Nathan’ crashes into me.
Oh, there’s a rib or two. Or maybe it just hurts and nothing broke. Didn’t hear any crunching.
The hit seems to disorient him a bit as he’s struggling to process difficult concepts like why we can’t fly through solid stone. Dude does not have the strong motivating force of knowing there’s a big ass bomb about to go off. I launch myself up the shaft. He follows. Cringing, I fly straight into the slab still half-covering the top, flinging it upward like a tiddlywink. Alas, hitting the stone causes me to slow down a crapload.
Dude catches me, grabbing my legs around the knees in a hug.
Ack! I don’t even think about anything beyond getting the hell out. Probably would be smart to stab him in the head and knock him out, but I’m sorta panicking. He’s got a hold of me… and nothing else. My flight power is enough to drag him across the mausoleum.
I cross my arms in front of my face an instant before zooming into the door.
We burst out into broad daylight. It’s like going from nice air conditioning to Arizona desert August in an instant. My flight power cuts out in an instant, dumping me on the ground. ‘Nathan’ screams. Smoke billows out from under his shirt. His face and forearms blacken in seconds. He’s no longer trying to hold me back, merely clinging in some kind of animalistic response to excruciating pain… and I’m freakin helpless, not strong enough to drag him anymore.
Growling, I grab at the damp stone pathway, tearing up moss, struggling to pull myself forward, but I might as well be encased in concrete from the thighs down. I’ve become Sarah-calibur, the vampire stuck in the stone.
Panic rises… but somehow, my thoughts don’t go crazy.
Desperate, I twist back and slash the katana one-handed at his burning face. The top of his head breaks open, pouring glowing embers onto his back. Flames erupt, racing down over his ass to his legs. My sword hitting his head sounds like I’m whacking a bag of Doritos, dry and crunchy.
His arms break apart, weak as kindling.
Trying not to scream, I kick my way loose and scramble to my feet, hastily backing off a few steps. Out of sheer morbid curiosity, I stand there watching this big dude shrink into a vaguely human-shaped black log of burning matter. Wow. First time in my life I’m glad a guy didn’t last three minutes.
I back up a little more and glance down at my hands. No burning. It’s a bright, clear day and I’m feeling only slightly microwaved. Whoa. Maybe I can get better at this sun thing after all. It’s definitely not comfortable. Kinda like listening to Gilbert Gottfried’s voice. Won’t kill me, but it’s to be avoided if at all possible. As a test, I concentrate on ‘fighting’ the sun… and the pain lessens to tolerable discomfort. Holy cow. It works! My body is definitely burning ‘vampire power’ at an extreme rate to keep my composure in the day. Probably will need to feed off two people later tonight, but small price to pay.
Right. Time to get out of here.
I sprint most of the way across the cemetery. Seconds before Dad and the Sentra come into view, I slide my katana into its scabbard and slow to a Hollywood walk. Cue the cool explosion behind me as I nonchalantly stroll away from death and destruction.
Dad spots me.
I stop, pull my sunglasses out of the hoodie pocket, and put them on.
Guess you could say, those vampires had a real blast.
Boooooom!
A dragon’s breath of blinding white flames shoots out of the open mausoleum door. I shudder at a sudden wave of icky supernatural energy. Not sure if the bomb had some extra spice to it or if a bunch of vampires dying at once released a spiritual supernova. Maybe Anselme kept some magical artifacts down there. I imagine there are probably some bizarre components needed to animate corpses. Meh. Who knows? Pretty sure ordinary bombs don’t release a tidal wave of overwhelming dread as a matter of routine.
Half smiling, I attempt the ‘cool’ walk back to the car, but can’t take myself seriously at all and end up laughing. After only like six steps, I break into a run, eager to get out of here. My katana gets tossed into the back seat as I jump in and slam the door.
Dad starts the engine. “Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.”
I chuckle, glancing sideways at him. “No… just, no. Sierra was right. You shouldn’t quote rap.”
He fake scoffs, then peers past me. “Is that white phosphorous? Damn. Guess Wolent’s not messing around.”
“What’s white phosphorus?”
“An incendiary chemical weapon. Keeps burning underwater. Very hard to wash off. Super painful. I think it’s been banned by the Geneva Convention.” He pulls around in a U-turn and begins the drive home.
I blink. “How do you know what it is?”
“Your sister isn’t the only one in the house who plays video games.”
He nods. “Yeah, you’re probably right. So… good guys win?”
“More like the less bad guys won.”
“Not sure I follow.”
I shrug. “Vampire groups competing for territory reminds me of gangs during Prohibition shooting at each other. Yeah, I’m on ‘Team Wolent,’ but I’m not really sure we count as the ‘good’ guys. More like ‘as good as it’s possible for vampires to be’. Then again, I am naïvely idealistic and probably trusting them all way more than I should.”
He laughs. “True, but how many other summer jobs let you practice demolition work?”
“Wow.” Can’t help but laugh.
“So yeah, the less bad guys won.” Dad drums his fingers on the wheel. “Sort of like shades of grey.”
“No. Dad. Please never say those exact words in that exact order ever again.”
“Huh?” He looks at me for a second, then blinks. “Oh. Duh. Right. I meant morality.”
“Yeah, I know. Just don’t want to think about you or Mom reading one of those books.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. We won’t. But, you know… we’re not innocent. It’s happened at least four times.”
“Gah! Dad!” I cover my ears.
My father smiles broadly, pleased with himself. Grr. Why is it fathers take such delight in embarrassing their kids?
“Thanks for helping me with my, umm, project.”
He bumps his fist into my shoulder. “Hope you get an A on it.”
I stare at the car roof. “Ugh. My life is so weird.”
A few minutes pass in silence before plastic crinkles.
Dad offers me a snack cake. “Care for a Devil Dog?”
“Sure.” I take it. “I’m no longer beholden to calories.”
38
They’re not Ready Until They Stop Snarling
I love bombs.
Bath bombs, that is. The explodey kind, I’m totes happy staying away from as much as possible. It’s been a few days since our trip to Astoria, and Seattle has quieted down. I did end up flying to philosophy class as soon as it got dark, leaving Dad to drive himself home. He insisted, saying my education was important. I’m sure he would have preferred delaying the bombing until the weekend so I didn’t miss class at all, but Anselme’s people were doing damage and needed to be stopped. Being an hour late to class is trivial by comparison.
Professor Heath accepted my excuse, even seeming flattered I’d rush to get to his class after having a near-death experience.
Wolent gave me a big ol’ back pat. He did find me going to class before meeting him amusing, but it didn’t bother him. Yeah, got the feeling the elders view me going to college in the same light people look at kittens or puppies doing something pointless and cute. Whatever. No one told me what, exactly, the bomb was made from, but Wolent’s agents haven’t observed any activity going on around the cemetery related to Anselme. As far as Seattle’s ‘official’ vampire society is concerned, I’m now a ‘real’ vampire who’s willing to play by the rules. Go figure. If they wanted to know that, they could’ve talked to any of my former teachers. Even Stefano and Paolo have backed off a little in their contempt. They still think it’s a mistake for me to be living at home, but it seems they are now at least willing to wait for me to actually screw up before they complain about my existence.
I let the PIBs know about the situation so they could help keep the lid on the explosion. The compound being so far underground prevented any visible destruction from reaching the surface beyond the interior of the mausoleum being charred black.
Dunno if the place caved in or merely experienced a ‘cleanse by burning’.
Hunter and I are going to visit Aurélie this Friday to sit for a painting. It’ll probably come out looking like the cover for a romance novel set in the 1800s. Admittedly, I’m a tiny bit uneasy at how he’s going to react to her presence. Even if she works hard to contain her charms, it’s like asking the sun to be less warm. It took Ashley months to return to relative normal after being exposed to her. Then again, they did a lot more than simply exist in the same room.
Mom’s even adjusted to the hellhound in the backyard. I guess his helping fend off an attack of walking corpses kinda endeared him to her. Predictably, driving me to a bombing has set Dad off on a marathon of ‘spy’ themed Eighties movies. He’s planning to go through them once a week, but hey, it’s fun.
We’re creating memories.
The kind of memories that’ll make me cry in a hundred years, but still. I’d rather have them than not.
Me? Right now, I’m enjoying the quiet normality of a Pomegranate Fantasy bath bomb. Must be in a good mood since I’m not hiding completely underwater. It’s a Tuesday night and there’s nothing pressing on my schedule beyond some studying, which I have plenty of time for.
“Sophia!” shouts Mom downstairs. “I’m not going to say it again! Please get these mushrooms out of the sink! I will not be growled at by fungus in my own home!”
A small person runs by the bathroom door, heading toward the stairs.
“Mom!” calls Sophia. “I can’t move them until they stop growling, or they’ll explode. Do you want the whole kitchen permanently dyed glowing rainbow?”
Laughing, I stretch my legs out and enjoy the warm embrace of pomegranate-scented bathwater.
Awesome. We have snarling fungus in the sink, but at least no one’s trying to kill me.
My life is back to normal.
fin
Acknowledgments
Thank you for reading the eleventh book in the Vampire Innocent series!
Much gratitude to Lee Sheridan for editing and Alexandria Thompson for the cover art.
Additional thanks to Jan Moulding for helping with the German translation.
About the Author
Originally from South Amboy NJ, Matthew has been creating science fiction and fantasy worlds for most of his reasoning life. Since 1996, he has developed the “Divergent Fates” world, in which Division Zero, Virtual Immortality, The Awakened Series, The Harmony Paradox, and the Daughter of Mars series take place. Along with being an editor at Curiosity Quills press, he has worked in IT and technical support.
Matthew is an avid gamer, a recovered WoW addict, Gamemaster for two custom RPG systems, and a fan of anime, British humour, and intellectual science fiction that questions the nature of reality, life, and what happens after it.
He is also fond of cats.
Visit me online at:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MatthewSCoxAuthor
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/matthewcox10420/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7712730.Matthew_S_Cox
Email: [email protected]
Other books by Matthew S. Cox
Divergent Fates Universe Novels
Division Zero series
Division Zero
Lex De Mortuis
Thrall
Guardian
Harbinger
The Shadow Fixer
The Awakened series
Prophet of the Badlands
Archon’s Queen
Grey Ronin
Daughter of Ash
Zero Rogue
Angel Descended
Daughter of Mars series
The Hand of Raziel
Araphel
Ghost Black
Virtual Immortality series
Virtual Immortality
The Harmony Paradox
Prophet of the Badlands Series
Prophet’s Journey
Divergent Fates Anthology
(Fiction Novels - Adult)
The Roadhouse Chronicles Series
One More Run
The Redeemed
Dead Man’s Number
Faded Skies series
Heir Ascendant
Ascendant Unrest
Ascendant Revolution
Temporal Armistice Series
Nascent Shadow
The Shadow Collector
The Gate to Oblivion
The Queen of Discord
Vampire Innocent series
A Nighttime of Forever
A Beginner’s Guide to Fangs
The Artist of Ruin
The Last Family Road Trip
The Phantom Oracle
How Not to Summon Demons
Ordinary Problems of a College Vampire
A Vampire’s Guide to Surviving Holidays
An Introduction to Paranormal Diplomacy
A Vampire’s Guide to Adulting
How to Stop a Vampire War in Six Easy Steps
Standalones
Wayfarer: AV494
Axillon99
Chiaroscuro: The Mouse and the Candle
The Spirits of Six Minstrel Run
Sophie’s Light
The Far Side of Promise anthology
Operation: Chimera (with Tony Healey)
The Dysfunctional Conspiracy (with Christopher Veltmann)
Of Myth and Shadow
The Girl Who Found the Sun
Winter Solstice series (with J.R. Rain)
Convergence
Containment
Catalyst
Catacombs
Alexis Silver series (with J.R. Rain)
Silver Light
Deep Silver
Vampire Innocent | Book 11 | How To Stop A Vampire War In Six Easy Steps Page 31
