by Jojo Moyes
The WSO, for whom the word 'brisk' might have been coined, stuck her head round the door. 'You all right, Mrs Radley? I've arranged for your small suitcase to be taken up to the boat deck for you so you won't have to carry anything.' She smiled brightly. 'There, now. Don't you look a hundred per cent better than yesterday? Everything all right?' She nodded towards Avice's stomach and lowered her voice discreetly, even though they were the only people in the room: 'Did you have any more undergarments you wanted me to fetch from the laundry room?'
'No, thank you,' said Avice. After everything else she had been forced to endure, she was not prepared to suffer the indignity of discussing her underwear with a stranger. 'I'll be ready in two minutes,' she said. 'Thank you.'
The WSO withdrew.
Avice placed her lipstick back in its case and dusted a last layer of fine powder over her face. She stood for a moment, turned a few degrees to each side, checking her reflection - a well-practised movement - and then, just for a second, her face fell and she gazed baldly at herself, seeing beyond the carefully pinked cheeks, the disguised eyes. I look, she thought . . . wiser.
Highfield stood on the roof of the bridge, flanked by Dobson, the first lieutenant and the radio operator, and gave orders down the intercom to the coxswain as the great old warship negotiated her way by degrees into the narrower water, and the English coastline, at first a misty hint, grew into solid reality around them. Below him the sailors, dressed in their number-one uniforms, stood in perfect lines round the outside edge of the flight deck, while officers and senior ranks manned the island area - a 'Procedure Alpha', or Prod A, as it was known to the men. They stood in near silence, feet apart, hands behind their backs, immaculate dress somehow disguising the tired, shabby vessel they travelled on. Coming alongside was traditionally one of the finest moments of a captain's journey: it was impossible not to be filled with pride, standing on a great warship with one's men below, the noise of the welcoming crowd already in their ears. Highfield knew that there wasn't a man among them for whom the last few months weren't briefly forgotten in the well-ordered pleasure of such a ceremony.
Not so Victoria. Engine hiccuping, rudder threatening intermittently to jam, the battered ship laboured in, bullied by the engineers and tugs, oblivious to the beauty of the hills of Devon and Cornwall that swelled on each side of her. When he had visited the starboard engine room earlier that morning, the chief engineer reported that it was probably just as well they were finally home. He wasn't sure he would be able to get her going again. 'She knows she's done her job,' he observed cheerfully, wiping his hands on his overalls. 'She's had enough. I got to say, sir, I know how she feels.'
'Port bridge, alter course to zero six zero.'
He turned to the radio operator and heard his command repeated back to him.
The light was peculiarly bright, the kind of light that heralds a fine, clear day. Plymouth Sound was beautiful, an appropriate send-off for the old ship, and a good welcome, he thought, for the brides. A few white clouds scudded across the blue sky, the sea, flecked with white horses, glinted around the ship, somehow reflecting her in a little of their glory. After Bombay and Suez, after the endless muddied blue of the ocean, everything looked an impossible green.
The docks had begun to fill almost at first light. First a few anxious-looking men, their collars turned up against the cold, smoking or disappearing briefly to refuel with tea and toast, then larger groups, families, standing in huddles on the dockside, occasionally pointing at the approaching ship. Waving at those brides who were already on the deck. The radio operator had had an exchange with the harbourmaster and members of the British Red Cross. He had reported that some of the husbands had been forced to sleep in doorways; there was not a room to be had in the whole of Plymouth.
'Hands to harbour stations, hands to harbour stations, hands out of the rig of the day, clear off the upper deck, close all doors and hatches.' The Tannoy closed off. It was the last command before they came into harbour.
The captain stood, his hands on the rail in front of him. They were coming home. Whatever that meant.
Nicol had checked the infirmary, the deck canteen and the brides' bathroom, prompting a shrieking near-riot in the process. Now he ran swiftly along the hangar deck towards the main brides' canteen, oblivious of the curious glances of the last women returning from breakfast. Arm in arm they walked, their hair set, their dresses and jackets pressed into razor-sharp creases, their shoulders hunched with excitement. Twice he had passed other marines as they headed for the flight deck; seeing him at speed, and knowing his reputation, they had assumed him to be on some urgent official duty. Only afterwards, as they registered the crumpled state of his uniform, his unshaven face, might they have remarked that Nicol was looking a bit rough. Amazing how some men felt able to let themselves go once they knew they were headed home.
He skidded to a halt at the main doorway, and scanned the room. There were only thirty or so brides still seated: so close to disembarkation, most were finishing their packing, waiting on the boat deck or in turrets, skirts billowing in the stiff sea breeze. He paused for a moment, waiting for this girl to turn, or that one to look up, making sure neither of them was her. Then he cursed his befuddled head.
Where would he start his search? There were people milling around everywhere. In half an hour, how was he meant to find one person in a ship, a rabbit warren of rooms and compartments, among sixteen hundred others?
'Trevor, Mrs Annette.' The WSO stood at the top of the gangway and waited for Mrs Trevor to fight her way to the front of the group. There was a brief hush before a suitcase was held aloft by a blonde woman, hair set in huge ringlets, hat askew as a result of her struggle through the others. 'That's me!' she squealed. 'I'm getting off!'
'Your belongings have been cleared by Customs. Your trunks will be on the dockside, and you will need proof of identity when you collect them. You may disembark.' The WSO moved her clipboard to her left hand. 'Good luck,' she said, and held out a hand.
Mrs Trevor, her eyes already on the bottom of the gangplank, distractedly shook it and then, hoisting her case to her hip made her way down, wobbling in her high heels.
The noise was deafening. On board the women's voices rose in a swell of anticipation, their heads bobbing as they fought to catch a glimpse of a loved one in the crowd. Around the bottom of the gangplank, several marines now stood firm, holding back the crowds pressing forward to meet them.
On the dockside, a brass band played 'Colonel Bogey', and a loudhailer tried vainly to direct people away from the edge of the quay. Jostling groups cheered and waved, trying to attract attention, shouting messages that were carried away on the breeze, lost in the general cacophony.
Margaret stood in the queue, her heart thumping, hoping it wouldn't be too long before she could sit down. The woman in front of her kept jumping up and down in an attempt to see over the others' heads and had twice barged into her. Normally this would have been enough for Margaret to mutter a salty word or two in her ear, but now her mouth was dry, nervousness rooting her to the spot.
It all seemed so abrupt, so rushed. She had had no chance to say goodbye to anyone, not Tims, not the cook at the flight-deck canteen, not her cabin-mates, both of whom had vanished into thin air. Was this it? she thought. My last links with home, just vanishing on the breeze?
As the first bride reached the bottom of the gangplank a cheer went up, and the air was lit with a battery of flashbulbs. The band struck up 'Waltzing Matilda'.
'I'm so nervous I think I'm going to wet myself,' said the girl next to her.
'Please let him be there, please let him be there,' another was muttering into a handkerchief.
'Wilson, Mrs Carrie.' The names reeled off, faster now. 'Your belongings have been cleared by Customs . . .'
What have I done? Margaret thought, staring out at this strange new country. Where was Frances? Avice? For weeks this had been a distant dream, a holy grail to be grasped at in dreams, imagin
ed and reimagined. Now it was here she felt unbalanced, unready. She thought she had never felt more alone in her life.
And suddenly there it was. Spoken twice before she heard it: 'O'Brien, Mrs Margaret . . . Mrs O'Brien?'
'Come on, girl,' said a neighbour, shoving her to the front. 'Shake a leg. It's time to get off.'
The captain had just begun to show the Lord Mayor round the bridge when an officer appeared at the door. 'Bride to see you, sir.'
The mayor, a pudding-shaped man whose chain of office hung from his sloping shoulders like a hammock, had shown an almost irresistible urge to touch everything. 'Come to say their last goodbyes, eh?' he remarked.
'Show her in.'
Highfield thought he had probably known even before he saw her who it would be. She stood in the doorway, flushing as she saw the company he was in. 'I'm sorry,' she said, faltering. 'I didn't mean to interrupt.'
The mayor's attention was on the dials in front of him, his fingers creeping towards them.
'XO, look after the Mayor for a moment, would you?' Ignoring Dobson's glare, he walked over to the doorway. She was dressed in a pale blue short-sleeved blouse and khaki trousers, her hair pinned at the back of her head. She looked exhausted, and unutterably sad.
'I just wanted to say goodbye and check that there was nothing else you wanted me to do. I mean, that everything is okay.'
'All fine,' he said, glancing down at his leg. 'I think we can say you're dismissed now, Sister Mackenzie.'
She gazed down at the dockside below them, teeming with people.
'Will you be all right?' he asked.
'I'll be fine, Captain.'
'I don't doubt it.' He realised he wanted to say more to this quiet, enigmatic woman. He wanted to talk to her again, to hear more about her time in service, to have her explain the circumstances of her marriage. He had friends in high places: he wanted to ensure that she would find a good job. That her skills would not be wasted. There was no guarantee, after all, that any of these girls would be appreciated.
But in front of his men, he could say nothing. Nothing that would be considered appropriate, anyway.
She stepped forward and they shook hands, the captain acutely conscious of the other men's curious glances. 'Thank you . . . for everything,' he said quietly.
'The pleasure was all mine, sir. Just glad to have been able to help.'
'If there is ever . . . any way, in which I might help you, I'd be delighted if you would allow me . . .'
She smiled at him, the sadness briefly lifting from her eyes, and then, with a shake of her head, which told him he could not be the answer, she was gone.
Margaret stood in front of her husband, stunned briefly into muteness by the immutable fact of him. The sheer handsomeness of him in his civilian clothes. The redness of his hair. The broad, spatulate tips of his fingers. The way he was staring at her belly. She pushed back a strand of hair and wished suddenly that she had made the effort to set it. She tried to speak, then found she did not know what to say.
Joe looked at her for what seemed an eternity. She was shocked at how unfamiliar he appeared, here, in this strange place. As if this new environment had made him alien. Self-consciousness made her look down. Panicked and curiously ashamed, she felt paralysed. Then he stepped forward with a huge grin. 'Bloody hell, woman, you look like a whale.' He threw his arms round her, saying her name over and over, hugging her so tightly that the baby kicked in protest, which made him jump back in surprise.
'Would you credit that, Mother? A kick like a mule, she said, and she wasn't wrong. How about that?' He rested his hand on her belly, then took hers. He gazed into her face. 'Ah, Jesus, Maggie, it's good to see you.'
He enclosed her in his arms again, then reluctantly released her, and Margaret found herself clinging to his hand, as if it were a lifeline in this new country. It was then that she saw the woman standing with him, a couple of steps back, a headscarf tied round her head, her handbag clutched under her bosom as if she did not want to interfere. As Margaret attempted self-consciously to straighten her too-tight dress, all fingers and thumbs, the woman stepped forward, a smile breaking over her face. 'Margaret, dear. I'm so glad to meet you. Look at you - you must be exhausted.'
There was the briefest pause and then, as Margaret struggled for words, Mrs O'Brien stepped forward to fold her into her chest. 'How brave you are,' she said into her hair. 'All this way . . . away from your family . . . Well, don't you worry. We'll look after you now. You hear me? We're all going to get along grand.'
She felt those hands patting her back, smelt the faint, maternal smell of lavender, rosewater and baking. Margaret did not know who was more surprised, she or Joe, when she burst into tears.
The marine captain grabbed him as he was trying the door to the infirmary. Nicol pulled away from the tight grip on his shoulder. 'Where the bloody hell have you been, Marine?' His face was furious.
'I've been - I've been looking for someone, sir.' Nicol had exhausted most of the ship: the only conceivable place remaining was the flight deck.
'Look at the state of you! What the hell's happened to you, man? Prod A, that's what it was. All men on the flight deck. Not a bloody great hole where you should have been.'
'I'm sorry, sir--'
'Sorry? Sorry? What the bloody hell would happen if everyone decided not to turn up, eh? Look at you! You smell like a bloody brewery.'
From outside, he heard another dull cheer. Outside. He had to get outside on to the decks. There, he could check with one of the WSOs whether Frances had left the ship. For all he knew she might, at this very moment, be preparing to step off.
'I'm shocked at you, Nicol. You of all people--'
'I'm sorry, sir, I've got to go.'
The marine captain's mouth dropped open. His eyes bulged. 'Go? You've got to go?'
'Urgent business, sir.' And then he ducked under the man's arm, the apoplectic voice still ringing in his ears as he took the steps three at a time.
Avice saw them before they saw her. She stood beneath the gun turret, her hat pinned tightly to her head so that it wouldn't blow away, and watched the little group below. Her mother was wearing the hat with the huge turquoise feather in it. It looked curiously ostentatious among all the tweeds, dull browns and greys. Her father, his own hat wedged low on his brow as he preferred it, kept glancing around him. She knew who he was looking for. In the melee of naval uniforms, he would be wondering how on earth they would ever find him. She barely noticed her surroundings, the scenery behind the dockyard. What was the point when she knew now that she would not be staying?
'Radley. Mrs Avice Radley.'
Avice took a deep breath, brushed the front of her jacket and made her way slowly to the bottom of the gangplank, her back as straight as that of a model, her chin held high as she tried to disguise the awkwardness in her walk.
'There she is! There she is!' She heard her mother's squawk of excitement. 'Avice, darling! Look! Look! We're here!'
In front of her, where the gangplank met the dockside, a bride whom Avice recognised from the dressmaking lectures was ambushed at the bottom of the steps and swept into the arms of a soldier. She dropped her bag and the hat she had been holding in her left hand, and was locked to him for an interminable length of time, her hands clutching his hair, his face pressed to hers, as they occasionally broke off to touch noses and murmur each other's name. Unable to get past them, Avice had to stand there, trapped on the gangplank, trying to look away as the couple were passionately reacquainted.
'Avice!' Her mother was bobbing up and down on the other side of them like a brightly coloured cork. 'There she is, Wilf! Look at our girl!'
Finally, the soldier realised he was holding up the other brides, uttered a half-hearted apology, then swept his girl off to the side. You know how it is, he had grinned.
Oh, yes, Avice replied. I know how it is.
Her mother ran the last few steps to meet her, her face tearful with happiness. 'Oh, darling, it'
s so good to see you! How about this, eh? Nice surprise?'
Her father moved forward and held her. 'Your mother hasn't stopped fretting since you left. Couldn't bear the thought of you two on bad terms on opposite sides of the world. How's that for devotion, eh, Princess?'
There was such love and pride on both their faces. Avice realised, with horror, that if they carried on her face would crumple.
Deanna stepped forward. She was wearing a new cerise suit. 'Which one was the prostitute? Mummy nearly came out in hives when she got Mrs Carter's letter.'
'Where's Ian?' Her mother was peering into the faces of the men in naval uniform. 'Do you think he's brought his family?'
'You'd better not have lost my shoes,' said Deanna, under her breath. 'I want them out of your case before you disappear.'
'He won't be here,' Avice said.
'He's never been sent off already. I thought the men were going to be allowed to meet you!' Her mother's gloved hand pressed to her face. 'Well, thank goodness we came, Wilf. Don't you think?'
'Is his family coming to meet you anyway? We've heard nothing from them.' Her father took her arm. 'I've brought them a wireless. Top of the range.'
Avice stopped, set her face as straight as she could. 'He's not coming, Dad. He's never coming. There's been . . . there's been a change of plan.'
There was a short silence. Her father turned to her. Avice thought she might have heard a snort of delight from her sister. 'What do you mean? You're not telling me I've just spent four hundred dollars on flights when there's no bloody celebration going to take place? Have you any idea how much this trip has cost--'
'Wilf!' Her mother turned back to her daughter. 'Avice, darling--'
'I'm not going to talk about it here, on a dockside full of people.'
Her parents exchanged a glance. Deanna was unable to disguise her pleasure at this unexpected turn of events. It was as if she were impressed by the scale of Avice's personal catastrophe.
As the four of them stood on the quay, the crowds milling around them, a distant loudhailer called for someone, please, to come to the harbourmaster's office to reclaim a small child. She was wearing a red coat and said her name was Molly. They had no further information.
