But I couldn’t.
She had a purpose, a reason she was here, and it wasn’t for me. She wasn’t meant for me.
“Yeah,” I gritted out. “Back into the basement.”
Her eyes widened and her shoulders drooped. “Oh.” She bit down on her bottom lip, and goddammit, it made me want her even more. I adjusted my cock so she couldn’t see the effect she was having on me. “Okay.” Her stare met mine, her golden eyes piercing me right down to my soul. “Could I erm…get something to eat first?”
My nostrils flared and my hands clenched by my sides. She was asking for food, something nobody should be asking for in that way. I’d done that to her. I’d made her only eat once a day, and it made me feel like a dick. But there was no other way we could have done it. It wasn’t like she was here for a goddamn vacation.
The sooner she was gone, the fuckin’ better. She was twisting my mind, making me think things I never had before, and I didn’t like it. Not one goddamn bit.
“Just get dressed,” I demanded, keeping my gaze on her as she slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom. I’d washed her jeans and T-shirt overnight, and I cursed myself. I was meant to be holding her hostage, not doing her damn laundry.
I tilted my head back, looked at the ceiling, and pulled on my hair. I never should have brought her in here after last night. I should have thrown her back into the basement and been done with her. I had plenty of people around me who could have seen to her and given her the essentials. But fuck…I didn’t want them to. I wanted to see her small button nose. I wanted to stare at the spattering of freckles on her nose. I wanted…her.
“Ready,” her soft voice announced, and my stomach dropped.
I may have wanted her, but I’d never have her. Our worlds didn’t mesh. She was the good girl, and I…I was the bad guy.
HAISLEY
I’d been a fool to think things would change. I didn’t know what I thought would have happened when I’d woken up this morning in Jax’s bed, but it wasn’t being thrown back down into the basement. I’d built it up in my head as I’d fallen asleep next to him last night. I’d thought it meant more than it actually did.
I’d been stupid.
Did I really think because he’d fucked me that he’d treat me differently?
The honest answer was, yes. I was sure I saw something shining in his light eyes, a gentleness I hadn’t seen up until that point. But I’d been wrong. So very, very wrong. Yet, I couldn’t deny I still wanted him. He made me feel alive, like my existence in this world wasn’t for nothing.
I brought my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, staring out into the empty basement. I’d barely moved from my position for hours, and I was sure by the sounds of the music and cheering above that a party was happening, which meant it was already nighttime.
My stomach rumbled and I squeezed my eyes closed. Jax had given me something to eat this morning, but it still wasn’t enough. I was used to eating at set times in the day, and now my body was rebelling against the new eating rules it had been given.
Laughing echoed through the basement door, and a second later, it opened up, filling the room with loud music and cigarette smoke. “Hey, hostage!” someone shouted, and I winced. They knew my name, but Jax and Al had been the only ones to use it. To the rest of the people here, I was just a means to an end.
But maybe that was how Jax saw me too? He’d gotten what he wanted from me then was done. He’d fucked me then thrown me away. My heart raced in my chest, my hands started to shake. Part of me didn’t want to believe Jax was like that, but the evidence was stacked against him. Still, deep down, I wondered how he would have treated me had we met under different circumstances. Would he have held my hand? Bought me flowers?
“Come on, let’s go!” the same voice shouted. “Hurry the fuck up!” I slowly moved my arms from around my legs and shuffled to the edge of the mattress. “Come on, you’re leaving!”
Leaving? I was leaving? My stomach churned and hope sprung inside me. Had Jax changed his mind? Did he want me up there instead of down here?
I rushed forward and up the stairs to see two of the members who had been bringing me water over the last few days. The tallest one sneered at me and grasped my bicep. “Hurry the fuck up, we got a party to attend.”
“A party?” I asked.
I didn’t know what possessed me to ask, and I wasn’t sure I’d get an answer. But when he replied, “Yep. Daddy dearest came through and let Torch out,” I knew Jax hadn’t changed his mind. I was leaving…to go home. My stomach dropped at the thought of having to go back to the mansion, and it was on the tip of my tongue to beg to stay. I’d be in that basement for another hundred days if it meant I didn’t have to go back to the life I’d led up until now.
“But…Jax?”
The guy yanked me down the hallway and took a left, the opposite direction to where all of the music was coming from. Was Jax through there? Was he partying and celebrating while I was being taken out of here?
“What about him?” the guy grunted and shoved a door open. Wind whipped at me, causing my hair to blow in my face. It was night again, only this time the stars didn’t shine as bright. They were muted, much like I was.
“Does he know what you’re doing?”
He laughed, so loud it hurt my ears. “He was the one who gave the order.” The stones on the ground dug into my bare feet as we walked past a line of motorbikes and toward a van. The same van that had squealed to a stop next to me and taken me off the street. The same van they’d brought me here in.
“What…where are we going?”
The second guy swung open the side door and waved his arm at it. “You’re going home.”
My breaths came heavy and fast at his words, but there was nothing I could say. Nothing I could do. I was going home. I was leaving all this behind.
Leaving Jax behind.
But it wasn’t my choice. It was his. He could have kept me here if he wanted. He could have done anything he chose to, but he’d demanded I leave. He was sending me away, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
The guy holding onto my arm pushed me forward, and my knees smacked into the edge of the van. I threw my hands out to stop me from falling completely, and tried to keep the tears at bay. I wasn’t in control of my life; I’d never been in control.
Stones crunching under boots rang out in the otherwise quiet night, and I turned my head to where the sound was coming from. Concealed in the darkness was a pair of light eyes and an unreadable face. He’d come to make sure I was leaving. He wanted to make sure I was gone.
And I understood then.
He didn’t care.
No one ever cared.
Chapter Seven
HAISLEY
They’d dropped me off at the edge of my street and sped away, leaving me to my own devices. My legs moved automatically toward the mansion. It was the only place I had to go, whether I wanted to be there or not. I didn’t know what I expected as I made it to the end of the driveway, but it wasn’t the silence that consumed me. There wasn’t a car in sight, a person hanging around—nothing.
I winced as I walked down the pebbled driveway, sure someone would come running out at any second and throw their arms around me. They should have been happy I was home, safe and sound, right? I should have known better. I always had hope things would be different, but I was let down time and time again. The people surrounding me didn’t care, that much was evident.
My stomach dipped as I walked up the two steps to the wide front door, and I reached my hand out to turn the knob to let myself in. But it was locked, so I had no choice but to ring the bell. I had no idea what time it was, no idea where everyone was.
The door swung open and I was greeted by the last person I wanted to see: my dad. “Get inside,” he ordered, looking behind me as if there was someone else there, or maybe he was making sure no one saw me coming home. He was on edge, that much was clear.
I walked into
the main foyer, the coolness of the floor seeping into the soles of my feet. I’d forgotten how cold this mansion made me feel, and even though they’d given me my backpack, jacket, and cell when they’d dropped me off, I hadn’t thought to put them on. I hadn’t wanted to, not until this second.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Dad fumed, throwing his hands in the air. “Why would you let someone take you?”
I blinked, sure I’d heard him wrong, but nope, he’d actually said that. “I didn’t let them take me—”
“I had to break the law to get you back!” he shouted, and his voice echoed off the empty walls, causing me to wince. His nostrils flared, his anger clear as day. But what did he expect me to say? I didn’t ask for any of this to happen.
“You didn’t have to do what they wanted you to,” I whispered. Because he didn’t. He could have called the police, or even better, forgotten about me altogether.
He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t have a choice. Imagine what my colleagues would say if they found out you’d been taken and I’d done nothing about it?” He paced in front of me, his robe wafting behind him like a superhero cape, but he was so far from being a superhero it wasn’t even funny. “It’s all your fault. If you followed the rules and did as you were told, none of this would have happened. I could have—”
“Are you serious?” My brows raised and my head reeled back. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from him. “You think I wanted to be kidnapped?”
“I don’t know, Haisley.” Dad stepped toward me, each of his movements done with purpose. “Did you? Maybe you wanted to teach me a lesson.” He tilted his head to the side. “Or maybe this was all an elaborate plan you concocted.”
“Really?” I laughed. “You really think I’d do that?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately. Surely I was dreaming, because right now he was blaming me for someone taking me off the street and holding me for ransom.
“You’re unbelievable,” I ground out and spun around. I wasn’t going to stand there and listen to him. I wasn’t going to take the blame like I always did. I’d had enough. Enough of this mansion. Enough of this life. Enough of him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” His hand wrapped around my arm, halting me in my tracks.
“No.” I turned my head to face him. “You don’t touch me. Never again.” I glanced down at his fingers biting into my skin. “Get your damn hand off of me.”
“Haisley—”
I yanked my arm from his grip and narrowed my eyes on him. “I’m going to bed.” I pushed my shoulders back. “I’ll see you at breakfast.” He stared at me and opened his mouth, but I didn’t give him the chance to say another thing. He’d said enough, told me how he felt, and that was all there was to it.
I was back in my normal life. The life I had before all of this. The life my dad controlled.
JAX
It had been two days since I’d watched Tech and Prospect drive Hailsey off the clubhouse property. I’d told myself to stay inside, to let them deal with her, but I hadn’t been able to stop myself. I’d needed to see her face one last time.
Which was what I was telling myself as I sat on the seat of my bike behind a parked car on her college campus. I was just making sure she was okay, that she’d gotten home safely. That she was continuing on with her life. But it was a lie I was telling myself. A lie I couldn’t keep up for much longer.
She walked down the path between two grassed areas and toward the main part of the building, her backpack over her shoulder, and a pair of skinny jeans covering her legs. But it was the way her light-brown hair moved with the wind that had my hands twitching. I’d pushed my fingers through that hair, held it in my grip as I pushed my cock inside her.
Fuck.
I adjusted myself and gritted my teeth. I hadn’t been able to fuck Reign, not since Haisley had been in the clubhouse. My downstairs brain was demanding something my upstairs brain refused. But I was here, watching her, waiting for her to look around and see me.
I didn’t know what I would have done if her gaze met mine. Maybe I would have rode off, or maybe I would have thrown my leg over my bike and sauntered over to her. I could have wrapped my arms around her, told her she was driving me crazy, and slammed my lips down onto hers.
But it was all a dream. A dream I’d never have come true.
She paused at the main doors, her hand on the handle, and turned her head. My stomach rolled as she glanced around. She was more aware of her surroundings, and I couldn’t help but grin. I’d changed her. Changed the way she acted. I just hoped it was for the good and not the bad.
Her gaze paused on the tree twenty feet away from me. My heart raced in my chest at the prospect of her finding out I’d been following her since she’d left the clubhouse. She didn’t know I’d watched the security footage of her house. She didn’t know I waited for her to leave each morning to make sure she was okay. I was treading a thin line, sure to topple off at any moment.
But would it be so bad if I did? If she found out I was looking out for her? If she realized she meant more to me than I’d let on? I silently chanted, hoping she’d search a little farther, but she shook her head as if she was telling herself she was imagining things, then turned and pulled the door open.
Chapter Eight
HAISLEY
I’d been home for three days and each one felt exactly like the one before it: hazy. I hadn’t had time to take a break and process everything that happened. I hadn’t had the chance to talk it out with someone—anyone. Not that I would have been able to, because it was apparent the morning after I’d gotten home that my dad had told everyone I’d gone away with friends.
They should have known better. They should have known to question his explanation. But they hadn’t.
And now I was here, in my mom’s studio, staring at her artwork on the walls, and wishing my entire life had been different. If she hadn’t died, would my days have been filled with the monotonous college classes? Would the rules in the house have been as strict? Would my dad still have had a total disregard for anyone but himself?
All it took was one moment to change the course of your life. To throw it off track and send you down a completely new path. Mom was that for Dad, and I was starting to wonder if Jax was that for me. He’d opened my eyes, shown me the way I was living wasn’t the only one out there. He’d been rough and demanding, but also gentle and caring. He was everything across the board, while I was nothing.
I was Haisley. The girl who did as she was told, no matter what.
But I didn’t want to be her anymore. I wanted to be the girl who dropped her towel in front of Jax. The girl who had told him to fuck her. The girl who had lived in the moment.
“Haisley Rooper,” a deep voice ground out from behind me. Normally I would have spun around, apologized right away, but today…today I’d had enough of it, enough of him. “Haisley! I’ve been calling your name for five minutes.”
“Leave me alone,” I murmured, staring at the portrait of me on the wall. I must have only been six or seven, but I could remember it like it happened only yesterday. The smell of freshly cut grass. The sun shining across our elaborate backyard, and the tree we would sit under to have picnics.
“What did you just say?”
I lifted my hand and stroked the side of my face on the painting. “I told you to leave me alone.” I turned my head, connecting my gaze with my dad’s. “I don’t want you in here. Get out.”
“Excuse me?” His face turned a bright shade of red, a warning I should have heeded to, but I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care what he did or said.
“You heard me.” I faced him completely. My fingers twitched, my body’s reaction to wrap my arms around myself trying to take over, but then he’d know he’d won.
He took one step inside the studio, then another, and closed the door behind him. I swallowed as the air swirled around us, the atmosphere warning of the danger I was in, but I couldn’t bring myself
to care. I couldn’t back down, not now, not after everything I’d been through.
“I thought I’d only have to teach you how to behave once and that would be enough.” His hand moved down to his belt, the clacking of metal against metal making my body jerk backward. The portrait teetered on the wall and I tried to keep it in place. “But it looks like you still don’t know your damn place.”
“What…” I cleared my throat, trying not to sound as scared as I felt. “What are you doing?”
His eyes lit up, a fire roaring behind them at his excitement. “Teaching you a lesson.” He whipped his arm out, causing his belt to fly through the loops of his pants, and the leather cracked against the floor. It was the same exact belt. The one he wore every day. The one he’d used on me before. The one that left scars on my skin.
All of the bravado slipped free, leaving behind the same thirteen year old girl he’d first used the belt on. But this time I was bigger, I was more grown up, I was—
I threw my arms out as the belt thrashed through the air, screaming as it connected with my forearms. “Stop!”
“Know your place!” he shouted back, pulling his arm back and throwing it at me again, but this time he missed. I rushed to the side, intent on escaping the room through the balcony, but turning my back on him was a mistake—a big mistake.
The buckle made contact with my upper back and I slapped my palm onto the glass doors. The door handle was so close; all I needed was to turn the lock and get outside. But another lashing slapped against my skin, and my body started to crumple in on itself.
“Please, Dad.” I turned my head, making sure my gaze met his. “Stop, please!” I begged him—begged him to not do this again. But he didn’t listen, he was in a world of his own, sweat dripping down the side of his face as he whipped the belt again and again. The leather strap met my shoulder, and then the buckle smacked me in the face, ripping my skin in the process. Wetness poured from the side of my eye and my cheek, and I threw my hands over my face, trying to protect it, because he wasn’t stopping. He carried on, hitting any part of my body he could.
Forbidden: A Romance Anthology Page 5
