by Melissa Frey
What really was his plan? Was he being too passive, allowing the Americans to get too close? He had started this fight as any other: prepared to use any means necessary to achieve the objective. So why was he backing off? Was he losing his ability to lead? Perhaps the Elders were right in relieving him.
No, he didn’t—couldn’t—believe that. He deserved to lead, deserved to fight. He’d built this army, trained these men. He should be giving the orders.
So why had the Elders gone against him? Perhaps his apparent inaction had seemed passive, but shouldn’t they have talked to him first, asked him about it? Challenged his methods so they could work together to find a better solution?
After all, he was a warrior. He knew that in battle there were casualties. The men in the Jeep at Lamanai had been the first casualties in this war. So why was he now concerned about the parents of one of the Americans?
He growled aloud, but no one was around to hear. Surely he wasn’t sympathizing with the Americans. He couldn’t allow himself sympathy for his enemies.
And they were his enemies, weren’t they?
Or were they?
His mind spun in circles, furthering his confusion with every whirling pass. He shook his head frantically, trying to get the barrage to stop.
Finally, after a few dizzying moments, they did. His thoughts calmed, and he was abruptly struck with the image of his sister.
Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over. He missed his sister, his only family, dearly. He wished he could see her, talk to her. He needed to know she was okay.
Wiping the tears from his eyes, a thought occurred to him. Was Shani the reason he was becoming soft? He hadn’t thought of her in years, not until he had told Holun her story. Was allowing himself to remember her causing him to have sympathy for these people—and their families, too?
It made him angry. He couldn’t afford—his Clan could not afford—to let the Americans uncover the Secret. Its continual concealment was of utmost importance. Not only to him and to his people, but to the world.
So perhaps the Elders were right, after all.
This was a war, and in war, there are casualties.
This was a war, and in war, there are sacrifices.
This is war.
And he decided, that very moment, that he would do whatever it took. He would fight. And he would win.
No matter the cost.
Bozeman Deaconess Hospital, Bozeman, Montana
Grady reentered the room with a white tube in his hand. He walked straight to Kayla’s side, kneeling down next to her before pulling the tube from his hand and unscrewing the lid.
Grady reached for her hand. “Here,” he started, squeezing the ointment onto Kayla’s burnt palm, “this should help.” Kayla winced and Grady pulled back, but only for a second. “Sorry.”
Kayla nodded once, sucking in her breath as Grady rubbed in the ointment. His touch was gentle, somehow comforting. Despite the coolness of the gel on her burnt hand, she could feel the warmth of his touch. She smiled, just a little, then stood as soon as Grady was done.
“Wait,” Grady went over to a nearby cart and pulled open the drawers, looking for something. He headed back to Kayla when he found what he was looking for and starting wrapping her hand in gauze. Kayla felt like an invalid.
“Grady, I don’t . . .”
“For me, please.”
Kayla hesitated, then nodded once. She shoved her good hand into her pocket when he was done. “So what do we do now?”
Mandy grabbed her purse. “We need to find Justin.”
Kayla nodded. “His parents’ house?”
Mandy nodded back. “That’s the only place I know to look.”
Without another word, the three of them headed for the door.
CHAPTER 25
Feeling
This was taking too long. Mandy couldn’t sit still, and the bumpy ride in the Jeep’s backseat wasn’t helping. Why weren’t they at the house yet? She needed to see Justin, needed to feel him, needed to know for certain that he was okay. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. This not-knowing, this waiting was too much. How was she . . .
Then she had an idea.
“Kayla?”
Kayla turned to look at her from the passenger seat. “Yeah?”
Mandy held out her hand. “Could I see that charm?”
Kayla glanced at Grady before turning again toward the backseat. “Uh, Mandy . . .”
Mandy kept going. “Please; I don’t know how to explain it, but it might help me find Justin. It helped you know he was okay.”
Kayla could feel Grady’s eyes on her, but she was careful not to meet his gaze. She would have to explain that one to him later.
“Kayla, please. This should work. It has to work,” Mandy pleaded.
Kayla sighed, then reached for the necklace, pulling the chain and the charm from around her neck. Mandy quickly reached for it, holding it by the chain and letting the charm dangle in front of her eyes.
She stared at the charm, willing it to let her see Justin, hear Justin, somehow communicate with him. And the longer she stared, the more the world fell away. Time seemed to slow, and she could barely tell the car underneath her was still moving. She whispered one word, “Justin,” and blinked in slow motion as the sunlight hit the charm at just the right angle, glinting across her face.
Mandy.
She swallowed hard, then started crying. Justin . . . The word felt strangled, even in her head.
Mandy?
Justin, baby, where are you?
Mandy, what’s happening? How are you doing this?
Mandy sniffled. Baby, please. I’ll explain later. Where are you?
Mandy could sense his hesitation.
Justin, where are you? Please tell me.
He still didn’t answer, but Mandy knew their connection was still intact. So she changed her approach.
What are you planning to do?
Finally, he answered. But once she heard his response, a small part of her somehow wished he hadn’t. Mandy, they have to pay.
The tears came harder. Justin, baby, no . . . she choked on the words, willing him to change his mind.
I . . . I can’t just let this go.
Mandy paused, tears streaming down her face. She couldn’t see Kayla or Grady, or even the car beneath her. Justin was all she knew in this moment. And if she couldn’t stop him, she knew without question that this would be their last conversation.
That didn’t work for her. Justin, she began, anger slowly drying her tears, you cannot do this. Even if you can find them, they will kill you. Please hear me on this, because I know it to be true: if you go up against the Mercenaries now, you will die.
Mandy—
No. The tears were gone, and her survival instinct had taken over. Because she couldn’t survive without him. You will stop this. I cannot lose you, too.
Justin paused, then sent his next words in a whisper: Mandy . . . you haven’t lost me.
If you do this, I will.
And, for the first time since she’d known him—though it was only in her mind—she heard Justin start to cry. Mandy . . . please . . . I need . . .
Mandy interrupted him. I will be there soon.
I’m at Mom and Dad’s. She heard the tears coming faster now, and her heart broke into a million pieces.
Okay, sweetie; just hold on. I’m right here.
I need you, Mandy.
Mandy had started crying again. I know, baby; I will be there very soon.
Then she blinked, and she was once again in the backseat of Roger and Jan Stanford’s Jeep, and the charm was once again a charm at the end of a long chain. She handed it back to Kayla, who Mandy could tell was trying not to stare at her tear-stained cheeks.
Mandy cleared her throat quickly, then leaned up toward Grady. “He’s at the house. Hurry.”
Grady stepped on the gas.
Justin wasn’t used to crying. He couldn’t remember the last time
he had. All he knew in this moment was that he felt so weighted down that tears seemed like the only release. He sunk to the floor of the living room of his dead and comatose parents, his back against the wall, and buried his head in his lap, sobs wracking his body.
He just couldn’t seem to stop.
“Justin!” Mandy screamed his name before she’d even made it out of the Jeep. She bolted across the Stanfords’ front lawn and crashed through the front door, still calling his name. Where was he?
She stopped just inside the hallway, hesitant to venture toward the kitchen. She veered off to the right and entered the living room. That’s when she heard him.
She found him sitting against the back wall of the living room, half-hidden by the couch, feet on the ground with his forehead resting on his knees. Mandy rushed to his side, kneeling beside him as she put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. “Justin, baby, it’s okay . . . shhh . . . I’m here. It’s okay.”
Justin lifted his head to look at Mandy, his face red and tears rolling down his cheeks. Mandy’s heart broke again. “Mandy . . .” he whispered.
She pulled his head to her shoulder. “It’s okay, baby . . . you’re okay.”
His body was shaking, and Mandy didn’t really know what to do. In the nearly four years she’d known him—including the two years of that that they’d lived together—he’d never cried in front of her. Not even once.
But that didn’t matter now. Nothing mattered except Justin, Justin and his pain. She wished she could take it away, wished that someone she loved so much didn’t have to go through this. Tears started running down her cheeks, her heart breaking with every sob that shook his body.
Kayla and Grady found them then, but, at Mandy’s nod, stepped back outside to give them a little privacy. Justin needed to get this out. Ever since his mother had died and his dad had been sent to the hospital, he’d been numb; Mandy could tell. He’d tried to hide it, and had done a decent job doing so, but she knew him better than anyone, and she could see in his eyes the pain he’d buried deep inside. This release, here and now, was exactly what he needed.
Justin could feel his tears subsiding. He’d thought he’d cry forever, thought that all the tears he’d held in for years would all come out in an endless stream, but it seemed that, for now, he was finished. He sat up straight and leaned his head back against the wall, feeling completely spent.
He closed his eyes, then turned his head slowly and opened them to Mandy. “Hi.”
Mandy chuckled a little. She always did that after she’d been crying. “Hi.”
Justin smiled at her, cupping a hand around her cheek. He caught her gaze. “Thank you.”
Mandy was staring into his eyes, staring into his soul, but he didn’t care. In these last few minutes, something between them had disappeared—a wall had fallen or perhaps a dam had broken. Justin had never been that vulnerable with anyone—which terrified him—but the intimacy he felt in this moment, with this woman, surpassed anything he’d ever experienced. Why had he been scared of this?
In that instant, he knew what he wanted, what his parents had wanted for him. Love, purpose, happiness. All of which he had found with Mandy, with Kayla and Grady and this quest. And he was overwhelmingly grateful.
He pulled Mandy gently toward him, his lips finding hers.
Then, in the same moment their lips met, something happened.
He could hear her.
It shocked him to his core. It shouldn’t have, but it did. He stood, bringing Mandy to her feet, and held her away from him only to stare into her eyes, his mouth hanging open.
Justin, I’m okay. We’re okay. You’re here, and nothing could be more right.
Justin nodded, and a stray tear slipped down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand. Then, with what he knew Mandy would call his characteristic “Justin” grin, he scooped her up into his arms, reached a hand behind her head to cradle it, and kissed her with more abandon than he thought possible.
After a very productive day of reading—the giant tome he’d brought with him was nearly completed—and an edited-for-TV action movie, Grady showered and climbed into bed. When he didn’t fall right to sleep, he lay on his back tracing the lines of the ceiling tiles with his eyes. Sleep refused to come, even after many long, frustrating, grueling minutes. It was aggravating.
She was aggravating.
No, that wasn’t true. He couldn’t be aggravated at her. She was scared; she didn’t want to get too close too quickly. And on some level, he understood, or maybe wanted to understand. She was being cautious. Smart. And the guy in him hated it.
Aggravating.
He knew he loved her—with his entire being. He thought she knew that. Hadn’t he told her as much—shown her in every way possible?
And she loved him. She’d told him, shown him in countless ways.
Could she still be unsure?
He lay there, staring at the ceiling tiles, arguing with himself. What should he do? He wanted more than anything to be with her, but he knew, deep down, that it wasn’t quite right yet. He had to respect her wishes, only take them as far as she wanted to go. It would drive him crazy, but he could do it, for her. For them.
Every fiber of his being wanted to touch her, hold her, feel her close to him. He knew as soon as the thought crossed his mind that he would have her, all of her, one day. But only when she was ready, only when the time was right.
That’s when he felt it. Just a small twinge in his chest, barely perceptible. But still there. What . . . ?
Another one, stronger this time. What was that?
Then it hit him.
Kayla.
He jumped up as if something had shocked him and flew to the door.
He threw it open before she could even raise her hand to knock.
CHAPTER 26
Love
“Grady?” Kayla felt her mouth fall open at the sight of him. His heaving chest and labored breathing immediately caused an alarm to go off in Kayla’s head, and she nearly forgot why she was here in the first place. Wait—why was she here exactly? “Is something wrong?”
Without answering, Grady threw a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her to him. Her breath stopped as he pulled her into a passionate kiss. His lips were hard on hers; she pressed closer to him in response, drawing further into the room. She barely noticed as he effortlessly slung the door shut behind her.
As soon as the door closed, Kayla threw her arms around his neck. There wasn’t an inch between them as she feverishly kissed him back, letting every part of her sink into his embrace. She so desperately needed this.
Kayla could barely breathe. Having Grady this close was all-consuming—stealing her every breath, her every thought. Every move he made elicited an involuntary response in her. There was only feeling, only reacting, no time for thinking. It was the perfect state of blissful euphoria; even as she ached for more, she was thoroughly enjoying this moment with the man she so fiercely loved.
They stopped to catch their breath a few minutes later. They stood in the middle of the floor, foreheads touching. Their chests lifted and fell in unison as they tried to slow their breathing.
“Hi,” Grady whispered, pulling back to see her face. One hand was lightly stroking her hair as the other wrapped around her waist.
Kayla smiled. “Hi.”
Grady smiled back at her, and Kayla had never felt more at home. “Was there something you needed? Didn’t mean to be rude.”
She reached up on tiptoes for him, planting her lips briefly on his. “I only needed you.”
Grady’s smile widened and he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, as if she’d done it a thousand times before. “Glad to hear it.”
Grady kissed her again, but this kiss was more playful, more comforting. As if all her worries were melting away at his touch. She wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling against his lips. He pulled back. “What?” He wasn’t hiding his own grin
very well.
Kayla just shook her head. “Nothing.”
Grady set her down, but Kayla was glad his arms were still around her. She wasn’t entirely sure she could stand on her own. Grady McGready was intoxicating. “Come on.” Grady sat on the end of the bed and patted the bedspread next to him. “Sit with me.”
It was exactly what she needed to hear. Kayla felt a single tear escape her eye and quickly turned to wipe it away, but Grady grabbed her hand and pulled her toward him before she could hide it. “Is something wrong?”
Kayla sniffled, then tried to laugh it away. “Nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all. Everything is perfectly right.”
Grady’s smile melted her heart. She sunk to the bed next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. He pulled her close, held her against him. Kayla couldn’t think of a single place in the world she’d rather be, or a single thing she’d rather be doing. Suddenly everything wrong in her life—her worries about what her visions were doing to her, when the Mercenaries would catch up with them, and even where her relationship with Grady would go once they got back to Florida—faded away in Grady’s embrace. All the troubles of this summer seemed so distant yet so surmountable when he was with her. Basking in his love, she felt as though she could conquer the world.
She looked up at him after a few minutes. “Grady, this may sound . . . um, presumptuous . . . but could I sleep here tonight?”
Questions flashed in Grady’s eyes before he could hide them.
She turned toward him, cupping her hand around his cheek. “I’m sorry. I just . . . need you tonight. I need to be close to you.” Then a thought occurred to her. “I don’t mean to be complicated.” She shrugged and walked over to the window.
