Later, Patrick waited inside the shuttle while Alice and Amelia hugged each other goodbye, Amelia whispered, making sure Patrick didn’t hear.
“I’ll call you in the morning. Something exciting to tell you.”
“I can’t wait, give me a hint?
“No, not with Statesman Patrick here, it’s private. I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
Patrick stayed for dinner, entertaining Alice and the aunties with stories of space anomalies, engineering feats and alien worlds, all of which—he assured them, hand on heart—were completely true. He managed to ignore the glaring conflicts in distances and time, which were obvious even to the uneducated Alice, but Jane and Mary enjoyed the evening so much, they extracted a promise he would visit again soon. A promise he was more than happy to make.
Alice walked with him to the shuttle. Once they were out of sight of the house, he drew her to him. She put her hand on his waist and didn’t return the embrace. Resting his chin on the top of her head, he sighed.
“I love you, Alice.”
She didn’t move, wondering if this was prompted because of the time she spent with Noah.
“Don’t you love me even a little?” he said, when she didn’t respond.
She stepped away, reaching around to remove his hands from her back, but keeping hold of them as she looked up into his face.
“I love you dearly, Patrick,” she said, giving his hands a little shake, “as a friend. What you feel for me, I can’t return. It’s just not happening. I don’t know what else to say.”
He closed his eyes as he pressed her fingers to his lips.
“I was going to contact Principal Ryan to advise him of my application to withdraw from the military, to stay here, with you.”
Alice’s jaw dropped, and she pulled her hand away, mortified. This time she didn’t spare his feelings. Her voice raised, Patrick was treated to a sudden outburst of fiery anger.
“And do what, Patrick? Woo me? Bamboozle me into accepting you? If you can’t accept friendship, then I have nothing to offer!” She would have turned on her heel and stalked up to the house, but she was too busy exploding. How dare he? How could she get through to him the truth of the situation?
The shock on his face slowed her temper.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time. Don’t worry, Alice,” he sighed. “I didn’t follow through with it. I knew you wouldn’t agree.”
“Thank goodness for that!” she took a deep breath to regain her composure. “Patrick, I’m sorry for reacting, but you must understand how I feel, besides,” she added, her anger subsiding, “those engines are your babies. You can’t leave them. Look what happened the moment you learned Engineer Oakes was assigned to the Accessor, you dropped everything, including me, practically to get there ahead of him.”
He thought for a moment, then grinned.
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Why would you give up everything you’ve worked for on a whim?”
“Not a whim, Alice,” he shook his head. “You’re not being fair. I mean what I say.”
“Perhaps, Patrick, but I know you would hate being stuck here just in case I changed my mind. What about the Knowledge A’khet gave you? Patrick, it’s a tremendous gift.”
Her unexpected anger caught him off balance, but to leave here with no hope didn’t bear thinking about, even though she was wise to remind him of his responsibilities.
“I won’t give up on us, Alice. I believe with all my heart we are meant to be together.”
“Purely as friends, Patrick, I’m sorry.”
“As I said, I’m not giving up. I won’t lose hope, Alice, and though I find it impossible not to touch you, desire you, I do respect your feelings. I know if we spent more time together…” He moved towards her again, but she put up her hands and turned her face away in defiance, refusing to look at him.
“…it would make no difference,” she insisted, her tone lending weight to the language of her body. Patrick’s arms dropped to his sides.
“As you wish, Alice. Like I say, I’m used to having my way.”
“Something to do with women falling at your feet probably,” she said, softening her voice.
“I’ve led a fortunate and blessed existence, Alice. Everything came easily to me, I excelled at school, graduated with the highest distinctions in engineering even before A’khet bestowed Knowledge. The military requested me before my graduation, and not on the strength of my family name. And women? Well, I guess I’ve had my pick, but now, for the first time, I’m being refused something I have an indescribable love and longing for.”
“I still say you scarcely know me, Patrick. I scarcely even know myself.”
He wouldn’t be able to persuade her, at least not yet. He needed more time, and time was fast running out.
“I’ll try to be patient. I’ll call soon.”
As the shuttle lifted above her and sped away, Alice hoped Patrick wasn’t too hurt by her response. She didn’t want to make him sad, but he wouldn’t listen, and how could she even consider loving him when her thoughts were elsewhere?
Chapter 20
Mary and Jane stayed on the verandah while Alice said goodbye to Patrick, she was gone a long time, and they speculated privately about the farewell.
“He’s a lovely young man, Alice,” Jane said, when Alice returned.
“He’s a pushy young man, Auntie Jane.”
“Accustomed to having his way I imagine?”
“Exactly,” Alice smiled and kissed them both before excusing herself to go to her room. She checked her registry, disappointed at not finding a message from Noah, and chiding herself for her behaviour, but she had no control over the butterflies in her tummy when she thought of him. She remembered Michelle, at 14, and her huge crush on Gavin McGee. He played football, and Michelle swooned and mooned about the house for weeks, desperate for him to notice her. But he never did, and Alice told her to stop her foolishness. She understood now, and it was her turn to feel foolish because she wasn’t 14, and should know better.
Alice stood in front of the mirror to brush her hair. Over recent weeks, it had become thicker, longer and wavier, and the sunshine had bleached streaks of gold into its carrotiness. The layers Miss Ling cut through it before the ball still sat nicely, and her smattering of freckles had found their way out onto her cheeks.
Alice placed her hairbrush on the table. It had been a long day, and the argument with Patrick upset her. Perhaps a shower and bed, hopefully she’d feel better in the morning. Unfastening her blouse, she let it fall from her shoulders, stopping as she caught her reflection in the mirror. In her old life, her breasts were saggy—once, Ted described them as golf balls in the toe of a sock when he came upon her unawares. She’d cringed with humiliation at his sneering, and after that, took great care he should not see them again. But these breasts, the new ones, sat up nice and even, cheerfully looking back at her like two cherry-topped ice cream cones. She tilted her head from side to side, admiring, evaluating.
The registry beeped, and Noah’s private signature linked through. Hurriedly, she pulled her blouse back on before she answered. To her surprise, he was also shirtless, even though she could only see from his chest up. His upper arms and shoulders had muscles on muscles.
Alice felt a surge of something that had never surged before and had to consciously restrain her eyes from popping out of her head. My god, she thought, I’m turning into a hussy!
Noah just smiled and greeted her, seemingly unaware of the effect her limited view of his naked torso had on her.
“Well, how did your day go?” he said, his tone conversational.
“Lovely, thank you, Noah,” she made a concerted effort to only look at his face. “We spent time walking and visiting the countryside. We went to the zoo…”
“The zoo? Like the ancient enclosures for animals?”
“Kind of, there were breeds of dogs and cats I’d never seen before.”
“Did you go out on the
harbour?”
“Yes, on a real boat and we had lunch. Patrick took us to the mountains as well—they were magnificent, the scenery was stunning in every direction. Amelia and Patrick got along well.”
“Matchmaking, Alice?”
“Maybe.”
As in their previous discussions, they discovered endless subjects of interest. Once or twice, Noah found her moving away from herself and speaking on topics which, as a scientist, he understood, but he knew Alice Watkins would not. In response to a comment he made about molecular density, she launched into a sequence about cellular longevity and neural energy patterns. She told him about her “team” research, which to Noah, sounded like KELA procedures, such as the ones medical technicians underwent when caring for a long-term patient. He knew if he reminded her of this conversation, she would remember none of it, or at best, snippets which she would deny understanding. She didn’t volunteer information on how she knew the procedures or her involvement in the development, and when he asked, she slipped back into Alice.
Noah found himself particularly drawn to the side of her personality he considered ‘Alice’, the simple, refreshing and gentle girl, who made him laugh with old-fashioned references while displaying an impressive ability to remember and recount things she’d learned. For Alice, she loved that she found him so easy to talk to, and that conversation never dried up or became uncomfortable.
It was late when he said goodbye, and almost immediately, Principal Katya’s signature linked through to his quarters.
“Noah.”
“Hello, Aunt.”
“I hope you intend remaining on the Significator for a few more days. Statesman Evesham is arriving to discuss your trajectory proposals for the hundredth time. He must decide your final briefing. It’s getting close.”
Principal Katya noticed he paused before replying.
“Of course, Aunt, when is he arriving?”
She disregarded the question.
“You have other plans?”
“Not really, I’m coming to the surface.”
“To see your parents? Or do you have another destination in mind?
“My parents.” It was partly true, though he didn’t know why he bothered trying to throw his aunt off the scent. “It’ll be the last time for two years or so.”
“After the trouble you took to eliminate the competition, I should hope you will be seeing Alice.”
“Dr Langley and I are both interested in history, Aunt. I thought she might like to visit a few of our historical sites, and regarding your comment about ‘competition’, I only agreed to let Engineer Oakes go to the Accessor, I didn’t send Patrick.”
“Humph, semantics,” she snorted. “Well, make sure you stay put for the next few nights. That will give Statesman Evesham the time he needs. Then you can go and show Alice the sights.”
“I’ll remain here for as long as I’m needed, Aunt. The Significator is my priority.”
“Is it? I worry it is your prison. You have barely spent any time on the surface in the last four years. I am glad you now have interests here on Earth.”
Although she liked to pretend, she never felt truly stern towards him, she loved him far too much for that.
“Have you seen Patrick since the Cotillion? I hear he is going out with the Accessor to oversee the new Gravidarum in median space.”
“I haven’t seen him, Aunt. I know he’s going out to median, but it’s a short trip, he’ll be back on board here in plenty of time. Statesman Junnot is attending the final briefing, Patrick will remain here on the ship.”
“I see. Well, I might see Alice before you do. I am going to call her and invite her for a visit.”
“Yes, Aunt.”
“And Noah, please don’t answer the registry to me again when you are naked.”
The registry blanked before he could react.
He looked down at himself, he was wearing pants, and she could only see his shoulders. He seldom put his shirt back on when he’d showered and was retiring for the night. He’s Principal of a starship goddammit! Just about as grown up as you could get, but faced with his Aunt Katya, well, he was just a little boy. Sighing, he reached for his shirt.
Amelia called early the next morning, Alice crawled out of bed to answer the link.
“Can’t you sleep, Amelia?”
“Well, I could have,” Amelia whispered, “but…” she gave a sneaky glance over her shoulder, “I had company.”
Alice waited as Amelia’s registry displayed, giving Alice a view of Amelia’s bed. It contained a male, apparently asleep and thankfully, covered by a sheet.
“Amelia, a boyfriend! When did this happen? And in your bed!”
Amelia shushed her.
“Well, where should he be? Yes, his name is John. We met the first day I arrived and hit it off straight away. I couldn’t tell you yesterday with Statesman Patrick hanging around.”
“Of course not, how wonderful, but you haven’t been there that long, and you’re in bed with him?”
“I’m not sure what it was like in your time, Alice, but we get physical early in a relationship.” Again, her voice dropped to a whisper, emphasising each syllable. “And he is the best!”
Amelia told her before that sex was recreational, but sex was never fun for Alice. She shuddered involuntarily at an unwelcome and unbidden thought of Ted and his rough hands. Amelia’s face fell.
“What’s wrong, Alice? Aren’t you happy for me?”
“Amelia, I’m just so surprised, but I’m thrilled for you. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“I think this is the one, you know, Alice, I really do. And for what it’s worth, Patrick is totally smitten with you.”
“So, he says.”
“You are playing cautious, aren’t you?
“Well, I’m new to this life. I’m not ready to incorporate another person into it romantically,” even as she said it, Alice knew it wasn’t strictly true.
“Very sensible. He’ll wait. He’d be crazy not to.”
“But this is about you Amelia,” Alice didn’t want to mention her feelings about Noah, not yet. Amelia knew about Tibet and Machu Picchu, but she dismissed those as him doing his duty by Principal Katya.
A sleepy face appeared behind Amelia. Amelia saw Alice’s face light up with a smile, and she looked around.
“Hello, Alice,” the man said. John was tall and thin, with a goatee beard and messy brown hair.
“Hello John, how do you know I’m Alice?”
“Because dear sweet Amelia talks of no-one else!”
He pushed Amelia’s blonde hair to one side and placed his head against her neck, one arm loosely over the other shoulder, facing the registry. They seemed so at ease. So happy.
“I wanted to tell Alice about you yesterday,” she said, bringing him into the conversation, “but I couldn’t while her boyfriend was with her. Girl talk.”
John nodded. “I know all about girl talk.”
“No, you don’t,” Amelia pulled both his arms over her shoulders and held them there.
John was chatty and friendly, he smiled often and kissed Amelia’s ear as they spoke. Very likeable. Amelia had done well, and Alice was pleased—pleased with just a twinge of envy.
Later, she told Auntie Mary about Amelia’s new love.
“Amelia is my first real friend; I’m so happy she met John.”
“That’s a sign you are genuinely fond of her.”
“What is?”
“That you’re happy for her, even though it means she’ll be distracted and you might see her less.”
Alice hadn’t considered the implications of her friend’s new romance, she paused to give it thought.
“No, I’m still glad for her. She deserves to be happy.”
“And what about you, Alice? Are you happy?” Mary patted Alice’s cheek. In return, Alice hugged her.
“Ecstatic, Auntie Mary. I’m happy from the tips of my toes to the moon and back!”
“Th
at’s a lot of happy!” Mary laughed.
“All thanks to you and Auntie Jane.”
“And does Statesman Patrick have anything to do with it? Or Principal Ryan?”
Alice looked up as Jane came in with Pecky on her shoulder. He fluttered onto Alice’s head and chattered into her hair. Alice just gave a slight, inward and mysterious smile.
“Like I said, all thanks to you and Auntie Jane.”
Chapter 21
Noah stayed on the ship for a further six nights dealing with the pedantic Statesman Evesham—poring over star charts, predicting temperatures, checking trajectories, checking, checking then endless rehashing. He longed to get away, having to content himself with two or three brief links with Alice. On one of those links, he found himself rattled to see two dozen passionfruit roses behind her. He already knew the answer, but still, he asked.
“Patrick sent them,” Alice glanced over her shoulder, “and red ones yesterday. Those are in the parlour. I think he arranged to have them sent every day for the last few days. Yellow ones arrived today, and we put them in a box we use for smoking fish because we had no more containers. It’s kind of him, but I hope he doesn’t send any more.”
Noah cursed himself. Sending flowers, what a great idea. An authority on roses, he understood their language, though he might have chosen something a little less suggestive than passionfruit blooms. Trust Patrick to make a blatant statement.
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