butcher, called upon to perform Caesarian section, 150–155
calomel, 118, 128, 209, 307, 319
“caloric,” 79
cancer, 51, 93, 123, 160, 166–172, 214, 320–321; see also tumors
candlestick, see penis, trapped in a candlestick
Canstatt, Karl Friedrich, 118–119
caries, 80
Carpenter, William Guest, 304–310
Carter, Henry Yates, 206–210
Carter, Robert Brudenell, 310–313
catheterism of the lungs, 127–128
chameleon, dung of, 139
Chelius, Maximilian Joseph von, 218
Cheselden, William, 141, 205–206
Chiarenti, Francesco, 114–115
chloroform, xii, 162, 186, 189, 191
Chopart, François, 259–260
cigarettes, 110
as drug-delivery mechanism, 123–126
good for priests, 290–291
clothing, suitable for children, 300–304
clysters, see enemas
Coffin, “Dr.,” 225–226
Colledge, Thomas Richardson, 173
combustion, spontaneous human, 94, 254–259
Cooper, Elias Samuel, 185–186
Cooper, Sir Astley, 10, 142, 166, 173, 175–177
Copping, John, 150–156
Crompton, Dickinson Webster, 161–165
crow, saliva and gastric juice of, 113–117
cucumbers, surfeit of, 291–293
Cullen, William, 113
cupping, 104
curling iron, inserted into urethra by washerwoman, 259
cycling, dangers of, 325–330
D’Épernay, Chevalier, 296
dagger, removed from skull by steam engine, 238–240
Dendy, Walter, 25–31
dentures, accidentally inhaled, 304–310
Dickens, Charles, 254–255
Dixon, Edward H., 180–185
dress, appropriate mode of for children, 302–304
drowning, treatment for victims of, 107, 109–113, 243
Dudley, Lord North, 102
duel, fought while asleep, 74–76
Dumas, Alexandre, 211, 214
dung, of reptiles used as medicine, 135–140
Dupuytren, Baron Guillaume, 12–15, 15–18, 161, 167
Dutch fumigation, 111
Dutchman, drunken, 143–149
Eclectic medicine, 128
Edinburgh Medical Society, 60
eclampsia, 117
encephalitis lethargica, 63
eggcup, found in intestines, 25–31
elephantiasis, 173
emetics, 27, 32–33, 81, 104, 119
enemas, 33, 107, 119, 209, 307
port wine, 131–135
tobacco, 108–111
Enfants Perdus (American Civil War regiment), 234
erection, 260–263
ergot, 68
eructation, see belches
ether, 162, 189
Evelyn, John, 143–144
excrement, 4, 100; see also dung
Exorcist, The (film), 80
eye socket, impaled by hat peg, 310–313
false teeth, see dentures
Fardeau, Urbain-Jean, 211–214
Faust, Bernhard Christoph, 300–304
Fielding, Robert, 197–201
firework, exploded up rectum, 1
fish, inhaled accidentally, 47–50
Flourens, Marie-Jean-Pierre, 231
fetus, 53, 88–90, 152–153, 280
fetus in fetu, 89
foreskin, see penis
fork, inserted up anus, 2–5
fountain, see urine, fountain of
Galen (ancient physician), xi, 19, 267
Galien, Gabriel, 259–267
Gall, Franz Joseph, 231
gangrene, 17, 43, 64–68, 164
girdle, inserted into own urethra by Capuchin monk, 259
glans, see penis
glass, eaten for a bet, 32
glysters, see enemas
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von, 70
Goodall, Charles, 101–108
goose, larynx of, inhaled by child, 35–37
Gotham, 127
Green, Horace, 128
gun, fashioned from toasting fork, 20
Guthrie, George, 221–3
Harvey, William, 249–254
Hastings, John, 135–140
Hastings, Warren, 160
hat peg, stuck in eye socket, 310–313
hats, inadvisability of children wearing, 302–303
heart disease, caused by cycling, 325–330
Heister, Lorenz, 100, 143
hernia, 26–29, 152
Herschell, George, 325–330
Hessians (soldiers), 208
hiccups, 27
Hippocrates, 69, 230, 267
hippopotamus, invents bloodletting, 99
Hobbes, Thomas, 64
Hoo Loo (Chinese peasant), 172–180
Howell, James, 53
humane societies, 111, 243
humoral theory, see humors, four
humors, four, xi, 69
Hunter, John, 195
Hunterian Museum (London), 195, 220
iatroliptic method, 115
imagination, power of the, 267–268, 277
infant, amphibious, 278–286
infibulation, see penis, secured with padlock
inguinal canal, x, 26
insects, vomited by patient, 242
intestines, ix–x, 10–11, 26–31, 32, 43–45, 110, 129, 152, 252, 292, 307, 322, 325
Irving, Washington, 127
Isle of Dogs, 201
Jackson, Rowland, 244
Jefferson fracture, 218
Jurieu, Pierre, 298
Key, Charles Aston, 176–9
Kirwan, Andrew Valentine, 42–43
knives, swallowed by drunkards
American, 6–11
Dutch, 143–149
Prussian, 144
larynx, of goose, inhaled by child, 35–7
laxatives, xii, 9, 27, 105, 118, 128, 159, 221, 233, 307, 319
Leclerc, Georges-Louis, Comte de Buffon, 280
leeches, x, 27, 35, 99, 222
lithotomy, 142, 156, 160
lithotripsy, 160
lizards, dung used as medicine, 137
Martin, Claude, 156–160
Mascagni, Paolo, 115
masturbator, extraordinary, 263, see also Galien, Gabriel
May, Edward, 53–54
mercury (element), 100, 118n, 123–125
migraine, 108, 293
Millington, Sir Thomas, 102
Moby-Dick, 181
monsters and prodigies, see prodigies and monsters
Morris, Thomas (author)
baldness of, 296
burns own nose while ironing shirt, 31
cruelly teases sleepwalking sister, 74
terrible at indexes, 502
mortification, see gangrene
mummy, Egyptian, used as medicine, 100
Musæum Minervæ, 53
mutton bone, inserted into own urethra by shepherd, 259
Myers, Alpheus, 128–131
nail-clippings, used to provoke vomiting, 100
Napoleon Bonaparte, 211
needles, emerge from young woman’s skin, 68–74
New Bedford, 181
onanism, see masturbation
opium, 115–116, 125, 134, 209, 221, 265
padlock, used to secure penis, see penis, secured with padlock
Paré, Ambrois
e, 19
Park, Roswell, 214–218
Parr, Thomas, 250–254
Pasteur, Louis, 313–314
Pavia, University of, 113
Pechlin, Johann Nikolaus, 248
pen
found inside brain, 95–97
inserted into own urethra by teacher, 259
penis
of animals, used as medicine, 100
bloodletting from, 100
sliced in two, 259–267
secured with padlock, 12–15
trapped in bottle, 37–42
trapped in candlestick, 15–18
Pennant, John, 54–60
Perfect, William, 291–293
Pharmacopoeia Londinensis, 100
phosphorus, 94, 258
photobacteria, 94–95
phthisis, see tuberculosis
pigeon, anus of used to treat convulsions, 117–123
pipe-stem, inserted into own urethra by smoker, 259
Pope Nicholas III, 267
porcupine, mother frightened by, 277
port wine, used as enema, 131–135
Portal, Antoine, 31–34
potassium, 40–41
Pott, Percivall, 160
Poulet, August-Marie-Alfred, 259
pregnancy
in old age, 286
woman frightened by porcupine during, 277
woman frightened by rattlesnake during, 268
prepuce, see penis
priapism, 260
prodigies and monsters, 52
Prussian
impaled by ship’s mast, 219
knife-eating, 144
pus, 55, 72, 143, 188, 190, 222, 266, 308
rectum
firework exploded up, 1
goblet wedged inside, 2
knife wedged inside, 10
toolkit wedged inside, 44–45
wooden spoon inserted into, 264
reptiles, dung used as medicine, 136–137
resuscitation, 101–107, 108–113, 243–244
Richardson, Benjamin Ward, 59
Richerand, Baron Balthasar Anthelme, 166–172
Roellinger, Jacques, 234–238
Rogozov, Leonid, 155–156
Rolli, Paoli, 255
Romantic literature, 70
Rush, Benjamin, 100, 301
sack (fortified wine), 153
Saint-Hilaire, Étienne Geoffroy, 88–89
sal ammoniac, 104
saliva, crow’s, 117
saltpeter, 125
scarification, 39, 104
scrotum
intestines forced into, ix
massive tumour of, 173
scythe, boy’s chest impaled by, 223–227
self-surgery, 156
sewing-box, inserted into own urethra by seamstress, 259
shovel, hot, used to detect urine, 82
Simpson, James Young, xii
Sims, James Marion, 128
skull
bayonet passes through soldier’s, 211–214
dagger lodged in, 238–240
musket ball lodged inside for thirty years, 197–201
of those who had died a violent death, used to treat epilepsy, 100
split by enraged axman, 231–232
sleepwalking, 74–76
slugs, living in human stomach, 273–278
smoking
advisable for priests, 290–291
as drug delivery mechanism, 123
Smollett, Tobias, 141
snake
dung used as medicine, 135–140
found in the heart of a young man, 53–60
man’s arm behaves like, 267–270
singultus, see hiccups
Society of Physicians in London, A, 60
Stokes, William, 93
stomach
broken glass in, 31–34
clasp-knives in, 6–11
fetus inside, 87–90
fishing for tapeworms inside one’s own, 130
flammable gas produced by, 325
full of cucumbers, 292
insects discharged from, 242
knife removed from, 143–149
slugs living inside, 273–278
stoves, cast iron, bad for health, 313–317
stroke (cerebrovascular accident), 96, 107–108
sub-rancid cheese, 252
Sydenham, Sir Thomas, 265
taper, inserted into own urethra by nun, 259
tapeworms, trap for, 127–131
Taylor, John (“The Water Poet”), 250–251
teeth, exploding, 77–80
temperaments (personality types), 69
teratology, 88
Tipple, Thomas, 195–196
Tissot, Samuel Auguste André David, 108–113, 293–299
toasting fork, gun fashioned from, 20
tobacco
smoked with mercury or arsenic, 124
used as enema, 106–107, 108–111
utility in keeping clerics’ voices in good order, 290
toothache, relieved by explosion, 78
tortoises, dung used as medicine, 137
tracheotomy, 36–37, 49
tuberculosis, 91, 92, 100, 126, 128, 135–140
tumors
luminous, 93
of the scrotum, enormous, 173
removed from chest wall without anaesthetic, 168
Tunbridge Wells, 101
Turner, Daniel, 267
Twain, Mark, 285
typhoid, tenuous connection with cast iron stoves, 313–317
umbilical hernia, 152
umbrella
cause of rectal injury, 317
cause of spinal injury, 318
urachus, 86
uremia, 86
urea, 82, 84, 86
urethra
bladder stones treated by inserting file into own, 157
bone of mutton inserted into, by shepherd, 259
curling-iron inserted into, by washerwoman, 259
earthworm inserted into, for sexual pleasure, 38
girdle inserted into, by monk, 259
needle inserted into, by tailor, 259
pen inserted into, by teacher, 259
piece of brush inserted into, by painter, 259
pipe-stem inserted into, by smoker, 259
sewing-box inserted into, by seamstress, 259
taper inserted into, by nun, 259
vine branch inserted into, by vinedresser, 259
urine, 3, 16–18, 40–41, 81–87, 100, 117, 156, 159, 258, 265–266, 293
camels’, 104
fountain of, 84
uterus, 81, 86, 133–134
vaccination, 285, 300
veal, glowing joint of, 94
venesection, see bloodletting
Vergil, Polydore, 99
vine branch, inserted into own urethra by vinedresser, 259
Vinum Benedictum, 104
Volta, Alessandro, 113
vomiting
blood, 71–73
fetus, 87–90
glass, 33
insects, 242–243
knives, 9
slugs, 274–276
stercoraceous, 27–28
Washington, George, 301
“Water Poet,” see Taylor, John
waxwork, human, 271
Wesley, John, 108–109
whaling, 181
White, James Platt, 215
windmill, arm severed by, 201–206
Wood, Samuel, 201–206
worms, see also tapeworms, tra
p
found inside young man’s heart, 53–60
introduced into urethra for sexual pleasure, 38
parasitic, found coiled around anesthetic mask, 47
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Thomas Morris is a writer and medical historian. His first book, The Matter of the Heart, a history of heart surgery, was a winner of a Royal Society of Literature Jerwood Award. He lives in London.
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* Groan. Urologists are notoriously awful punsters.
* Constipated
* So to speak.
* Stools
* Rust-colored
* Now that you know it, too, why not try dropping it into casual conversation?
* Penis
* His Majesty gratefully accepted, but later wrote to Dupuytren to say that he no longer needed the cash.
* This article prompted a furious letter from a local rival, George Sheward, alleging that Davis had plagiarized his own report of the case. Sheward waged a long campaign against Davis, which may have had its intended effect: A few years later a local business directory listed Davis not as a surgeon but as a “druggist and dealer in grain and seed”—probably a more accurate description of his occupation.
* Scar
* Nodule
* Wall
* Thinned or wasted
* In the annals of eggcup lore, certainly
* Don’t ask.
* Heartburn
* Difficulty in breathing
* The opening between the vocal cords
* To be fair, if there was ever an appropriate moment to plead the fifth, this was probably it.
* A mild form of bloodletting by means of superficial scratches
* A flammable liquid hydrocarbon
* Sharp splinters
* Strangely, this article appeared three years after the prison had been permanently closed and its inmates transported to a penal colony in Guyana.
The Mystery of the Exploding Teeth and Other Curiosities From the History of Medicine Page 28
