by J. M. Dabney
“He said a Daddy would respect my limits, but I had to be honest.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “I can’t promise I won’t get scared or nervous. But I…I trust you.” He fought Raul’s attempt to tip his head back.
“Boy, look at me.”
He felt the compulsion to argue, to reestablish his control, but Gage said he needed to be open. He didn’t know if he could. Gage was the first person he’d told, the doctors, nurses, and cops had told his mother. Voicing it made it too real. It was always a memory for his nightmares.
“There’s those beautiful blue eyes.”
He’d never heard that tone from Raul before, or seen that particular tilt to the corner of his mouth. Thinking about his lips brought back their first kiss. He’d always been a big man. Tall and broad, and he knew what people saw when they looked at him. But inside, he always wanted to find that one man for his happily ever after. His brain had claimed Raul as the one, and he still didn’t know how he felt about that.
“Baby, I can’t put your fears at ease if I don’t know what they are. Daddies aren’t mind-readers, we don’t automatically know what our boys need.” Raul’s voice deepened.
Pure held his breath as Raul closed the distance between their mouths. The kiss was light and chaste. It was a soothing act, not a seductive one. Raul’s hands came up to cup his bearded jaw. This wasn’t the time or place for them to accept a mutual need, but he’d come too close to losing Raul.
“I’ve thought about kissing you way too long.” Raul slanted his mouth across his, and he whimpered as the slightly shorter man nipped at his lower lip.
His hands shook as he brought them to Raul’s waist where he fisted them in the man’s t-shirt. His breathing was too ragged, and his heart kicked into high gear as he was manhandled until he was seated on the bench table. He caught Raul’s wrists as the man released his face and tried to slip beneath his t-shirt.
“It’s okay, only as fast as you want.”
The soft, caring tone was his undoing. He rubbed the soft cotton of Raul’s shirt between his fingers.
“We use our words, boy, and you look at me when you talk to me.”
He lifted his chin from where he rested it on his chest and forced himself to meet Raul’s gaze.
“We have a lot to talk about. Too much planning to do, but right now, we’re going to forget what’s happening outside this room and focus on this right here.”
“When we went after Alex’s daughter, Gage said his door was always open if I wanted to talk about what was bothering me.”
“We’re partners, so why go to Gage?”
“I thought he’d understand and he did. But I didn’t get up the courage to talk to him until the day we found out you were arrested.”
“Fair enough. What did you talk about?”
“Why he was a Daddy and what kinda…Daddy would I need.”
“And what did Gage say?”
“A caring one. One who’d respect my limits and who could help me mend what was broken.”
“How are you broken, baby boy?”
“Someone hurt me.” He flinched as Raul’s fingers dug painfully into his thighs. “He said if I voiced it, then it no longer had power.”
Raul stared into his eyes and then Raul was brushing his fingertips down over Pure’s eyes closing them. Not being able to see the other man’s expression helped ease the anxiety that was building. Voice it, that’s all he had to do. It was three words, but they held so much power to bring forth memories of that night. Raul’s arms came around him, and he tucked his face into the curve of Raul’s neck.
“Just say it, baby.”
He hugged Raul tight and tried to push the words past the knot forming in his throat. “I was asked on a date by the popular boy. He didn’t take no for an answer. He was raping me when the owner of the property interrupted. I said no so many times.” He held Raul tighter as he felt the tears slip from beneath his lowered lids.
Raul gently stroked his back, and the leaner man’s body pushed deeper between his thighs. “What was his name?”
He couldn’t help his smile at the sexy growling order, and he shook his head. He tried to hold onto Raul as the man pulled away and he earned a stubborn glare. It hadn’t turned out as painful as he’d assumed. It wasn’t easier to admit because he refused to see himself as that naive boy with his childish crush. He knew saying it out loud was one thing, allowing himself to be physically vulnerable with someone was another matter he’d have to work through later.
“You don’t tell Daddy no when it comes to this. I’m promising spankings now and not just threatening.”
“Last time I checked, he was serving a minimum of twenty-five.”
“What prison? I’ll request it when I turn myself in.”
“You’re not turning yourself in. My plan was flawless.” He started to jump down from the bench and Raul grabbed him to hold him in place.
“Boy, I will do whatever to protect you just like you did with me. I trust you and the team to get me out. I can watch my back until then.”
“Bullshit!”
“Boy, don’t test me.”
Strong hands shoved down the back of his sweatpants and gripped his cheeks in a punishing grip.
“You will learn that your safety and happiness is always above mine. You will do as I say. I can’t do what I need to do if I don’t know you’re outside watching my back. Understand that. Who else would go above and beyond for me?”
He could only nod, he didn’t agree, but he also never thought he’d feel as if he couldn’t trust his Trenton team. They’d become his family, all the Crews stood together no matter what came at them, and then they threw Raul under the bus. The wait and see option was bullshit, and he wasn’t going to stand for it.
He gasped as the tight hold eased and his hips were pulled closer to the edge of the bench. Pleasure caused goosebumps to spread over his skin. He groaned as he pushed his lips to Raul’s, and he felt free as the man took over the kiss. He started to protest as Raul retreated, but then his shirt and Raul’s hit the floor. His inexperience embarrassed him as he shivered, and his cock tented the front of his sweatpants with just a few kisses and touches.
“Fuck, boy, you made Daddy wait too fucking long.”
Cool air touched his cock as the fabric disappeared, and a rough hand circled his length. He leaned back to rest his weight on his hands as biting kisses teased his chest and over his stomach, then a door slammed.
“Boys, unless I see rings you two ain’t banging in my house.”
“Shit,” Raul groaned and leaned his forehead on Pure’s chest. “That was a hard-on killer.”
He couldn’t decide if he wanted to scream in frustration or die of mortification, but in the end, figured it was better to deflect. “We need to get going anyway.” He began to ease off the bench only to be stopped by Raul pinching his chin and forcing their gazes to meet.
“This isn’t over, boy. We still need to have a Daddy and boy conversation. Also, I want an uninterrupted kiss.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
“Okay…Daddy.”
“I’ve gotten off so many times imagining you calling me that.”
He didn’t know what to say. All of this was too new, and he needed space to process, but in less than an hour, they’d be alone in the safehouse with a whole new relationship to figure out.
WHAT NOW?
He watched Pure from the front window of the empty house as he signed for the renovation supplies and showed the guys where to off-load them. He glared as one of them checked out his boy’s ass when Pure turned to return to the house. The possessiveness and jealousy still weren’t getting any easier and now that he knew what his boy felt like—the taste of him—it was even harder to deal.
He strode through the house. It was a beautiful, older home perfect for a small family, but it was looking a bit worn down. Pure had told him that the family had lived there for several years. He peered out t
he glass in the kitchen door and growled as his boy stripped off the sleeveless t-shirt. He traced the soft curve of Pure’s belly and lower to the baggy jeans that hung low on his hips.
The night they’d arrived, they’d rolled out sleeping bags on the living room floor. He’d had his close to Pure, but he had so much to think about he hadn’t held his boy like he’d craved. Pure was reserved and untouched in a healthy way. The thought of someone hurting Pure when he was so young threw him into a rage. It wasn’t enough the fucker was locked up. He hadn’t joked when he said he’d request the same prison. He was in danger of going down for murder now.
A phone beeping caught his attention, and he turned to find Pure’s on the kitchen counter. He stretched out his arm to grab it and saw there were several messages. He put in Pure’s code, and the phone started beeping constantly.
Gage: Pure, boy, you better check-in.
Little: Check the info.
Linus: I’m kicking your oversized fucking ass.
Peaches: You’re not helping him Pure. Call me.
Liv: Hey, man, you’re set.
Linus: You don’t call in now you’re off the fucking team.
It was message after message of threats, and there were a few numbers and names he didn’t know. Several with coded messages or just a string of numbers like passcodes. What was the boy playing at?
A loud beeping reached him, and he looked outside again to see a delivery man approaching Pure. He reached for his weapon and waited as Pure signed for a package, then the stranger left. Pure closed the garage door, and Raul put the phone back to sleep, returning it to its spot on the counter.
“This is what I was waiting for.”
“What is it?” he asked.
“Information. All the files are encoded and one wrong password and the hard drive fries itself.”
He watched as Pure opened the box and pulled out a laptop wrapped in bubble wrap. Raul took a seat at the table on the single chair and pulled his boy down on his thigh, but not before Pure made a grab for his phone. There was a list of files, each one was protected, and Pure entered the code for the first one.
He twined his arms around Pure’s waist and enjoyed the feel of his warm, hair-roughened skin on his exposed forearms. It was only a matter of time before Pure was ripped from him. He wasn’t holding his breath that he’d remain free. His brave front was just that, a front, to make his boy feel better, but he was going to need to make his boy feel safe. Touch and kiss him, memorize it for the long years ahead. He trusted the team, still had hope that they were doing everything to find out who wanted to take him down.
“You do know the team is trying to get ahold of you, right?”
“I quit.”
“You what?”
“When they wouldn’t fight for you, I quit. If they ain’t going to back one of us up then when are they going to toss the rest of us onto the rails? I can’t trust them, and I said so.”
Pure lived for his job. They were family and always had been, but his boy had pretty much told them all to fuck off. His boy had given up his life for him and possibly his freedom. He raised his hand to turn Pure’s head slightly to reach his perfect lips. He tilted his head just until he captured Pure’s mouth. He sunk his fingers into Pure’s soft hair and the kiss turned rough, their labored breaths harsh. Raul moaned and parted his lips just enough to tease Pure’s tongue with the tip of his. Fuck, just kissing his boy made him hard—made him forget the outside world. He’d known it would, but the intensity of it shocked him.
He gave Pure softer kisses as he spoke. “Baby, you love your job, and Linus said he was going to fire you.”
“I figured you’d check my messages sooner rather than later. Linus doesn’t like that it wasn’t his decision.”
“What did Liv mean by you’re all set?”
“Next safehouse.”
“So you’re in contact with at least—”
“No, Liv and I broke radio contact days ago. No one knows where I am. The laptop was sent by an old friend who owed me one. The one who found out about the bounty.”
Breaking all contact and quitting was putting distance between Pure and the operation, but that didn’t mean his boy was in the clear. He wasn’t comfortable with the plan.
“What are we looking at?”
“I had my friend track the IP addresses from the original request, and it bounced all over hell and back, but it appears to be coming from a small town on the Texas/Mexico border. There’s rumors of a cartel running operations out of there, but no one traces back to you. At least not yet.”
His eyes scanned docs one after another, and he recognized names but no one he ever came into direct contact with.
“We’re running traces on known associates and seeing if they align with any of your recent bounties, but it’ll take a while to make it through all the channels.”
“What does your gut say?”
“It’s about more than a bounty. Someone has that kinda money…they can pay off whoever they want. This is personal. It isn’t just about killing you. It’s about making you suffer first. That’s a hatred borne of more than you picked the wrong flyer off the wall.”
“It does seem rather extreme. I’ve had threats, a few have even thrown a few shots, but it’s never anything this intense.”
That’s what bothered him. Criminals knew that if they ran, they were going down unless they had the funds to make it to a nice non-extradition country to chill out the rest of their lives. The people who hit the board at Trenton or even his radar when he was freelance weren’t in the range of throwing out six-figure bounties on his head.
He grinned as his boy’s belly started growling. “Does my boy need food?” He loved making the big man blush.
He eased Pure off his lap, and when his boy tried to move away, he turned him until Pure straddled his thighs. Pure held himself stiffly.
“Boy, come closer to Daddy,” he ordered and deeply groaned as his boy wiggled on his lap until their chests were flush. The soft hair tickled his smooth chest. He wanted a distraction for both of them. “Do you think about Daddy loving on you?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Daddy.” Pure’s voice was so shy and soft. His innocence was sexy. It always had been. In his dreams, it had always been him teaching his boy—making sure his touch was the only one Pure would ever experience. He didn’t care about the time before, that was violence, and all he wanted was to love on his boy.
“Tonight, I want you to sleep beside me. In my arms and nowhere else, do you understand?”
Pure shyly nodded, and Raul gave his boy a tender kiss.
“Now, I’m going to feed you while you work.”
He helped Pure off his lap and reseated him in the chair. Jenn had stocked them with groceries and a few kitchen essentials. While he moved around the kitchen, he caught his boy tracking his movements. Later they would talk about expectations and his boy’s limitations, he was going to enjoy the time they had while he could. He wanted to learn everything about his boy and let his boy know that being loved on had nothing to do with pain or humiliation.
COULD PURE DO THIS?
T he later it became, the more he tried to put off going to bed. They’d kissed and touched, he knew the feel of Raul’s rough hand around his length, but he’d been careful about initiating too much intimacy. He was still scared of sex. Worried if it would hurt. Masturbation felt good, and his fantasies were embarrassing. The scenes he watched with the spankings and bondage, they made him feel funny.
He pretended everything was normal as he walked out of the steamy bathroom with a towel around his hips. Drying his hair with a second one, he paused as he entered the living room to find one of the air mattresses made up with their sleeping bags and blankets. A fire was burning in the stone fireplace.
Raul had showered before him and was standing next to the bed they were going to share. Baggy pajama bottoms hung low on Raul’s hips. He traced the thin line of
black hair that ran from his outie navel then fanned out where it met thick, tight curls. He felt the only thing keeping the pants up was the bulge under the dark cotton.
He fisted his hands in the towel and tried to swallow down the lump in his throat.
“Boy, use your words.”
Gage said he needed to trust Raul. That a boy or sub’s greatest gift to their Dom or Daddy was unquestionable trust. He didn’t know if he had in him. But he had to take a leap of faith. “I’m nervous.”
“I am too.”
“Why?”
“Because for years, I’ve looked at you like the sun, bright and beautiful, light, and I felt so unworthy.”
“I thought Daddies were supposed to be confident.”
“I think it’s better to be honest. The whole time I’ve known you, you were waiting for the one. The happily ever after and kids, I’ve never done a permanent thing in my life. I don’t know what happens tomorrow. Jail or we beat the odds for another twenty-four—”
He was about to protest, but a single glare from Raul made him rethink that.
“No, we’re going to be honest with each other. If it’s between you or me, it’s always going to be your safety first. You know that.”
He did. When Raul acted as his spotter, they were in sync—trusting each other to know when was enough. He never argued with Raul over that. Raul slowly approached him, their gazes were locked, and it took everything in him to stand his ground. The spicy scent that was all Raul overwhelmed him.
“Since the moment I met you, everyone else paled in comparison.”
He allowed the man to remove the damp towel from his clenched fists. He had to slightly lower his gaze to meet Raul’s. His broader and softer form always made him compare himself to the leaner, more muscular Raul. His light brown skin was smooth to his hairier frame.
“My boy is so beautiful.”
He wanted to protest but whatever argument he’d tried to come up with ended as Raul tugged the fluffy towel from around his hips.
