“And there’s nothing you can give me?”
“Keep hydrating yourself, lay off the running for a while, and the booze, and you’ll find after a couple of days your urine should be back to normal. I think Vince had this a few years ago.”
“Knock, knock.”
Drake and Karen turned to look to see Vince standing by the door.
“I heard my name being mentioned.”
Karen looked at Drake and he shrugged his shoulders “Tell him, if you want.”
Karen looked over to Vince. “Remember that story you told us about having a cystoscopy? What was the outcome of that?”
“Why?” Vince stepped in.
“Drake was passing blood this morning, but I’m convinced it’s from running dehydrated.”
“I think with me it was kidney stones,” said Vince. “Had to get a camera down the old fella.”
“Bollocks to that.” Drake winced at just the thought of it.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Vince reminisced and paused for thought. “I found it quite erotic.”
“And on that note,” Karen sighed, shaking her head at Kindl. “I’ll bid you good day.” She then turned to Drake and told him to keep hydrated and the problem would take care of itself.
Both men left, leaving Karen alone. A few moments later, she decided to have a nap at her desk. She knew she was going back to Colwyn Place, but wasn’t exactly certain when.
Chapter Nineteen
“I hope we’re doing the right thing,” Mildred groaned. She was standing next to Quint and the pair of them watched as Tracy, Joanne, Shelley and Darren stood around near the jeep, conversing with Drake.
“I’m sure if it goes tits up, we’d be allowed back,” Quint remarked. “This place is basically just a cordoned off street, with less facilities and amenities. Personally, I’d rather stay where we are.”
“Then why don’t you?”
Quint hunched his shoulders. “I trust Pickle.”
“You’re right about the size and the amenities, but Little Haywood is in the middle of nowhere, which means less danger.”
“Well, we’ll soon see, won’t we?”
They looked over and could see Drake and Darren shaking hands. Shelley then gave Drake a hug, and entered the back of the jeep.
“Will they get eight of us in there?” Quint asked Mildred. Now Tracy and Joanne entered the back with Pickle, Karen and Vince walking over to the front and waving at Mildred and Quint to get a move on.
“Just about,” said Mildred. “It’s only a fifteen to twenty minute journey anyway.”
The pair of them walked over and Drake nodded at his guard who handed him a carrier bag full.
Drake grabbed the bag and passed it to Karen, who was sitting on the passenger seat with the door still wide open.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“Supplies I took from the clinic.” Drake smiled and added, “It’ll do. For now.”
Karen smiled and took the bag.
“We’ll be seeing yer,” Pickle called over, sitting in the driver’s seat, with Vince in the middle.
“Indeed you will.”
Drake closed the passenger door and took a step back and went to the back passenger seats where Darren, Shelley and Tracy sat.
“Try not to shit yourself when you’re at Little Haywood,” Drake said to Darren, embarrassing the young man. “I put some of those IBS drugs in that carrier bag.”
Darren responded with a faint nod and Drake stepped back a few yards as Quint and Mildred made their way over.
“Laters, guys,” said Drake.
Quint smirked thinly, but Mildred went into the jeep without acknowledging Drake.
“Still not happy with me?” he laughed.
“You killed an old couple for some chickens,” Mildred responded. “I know the world is a different place now, but that’s still messed up.”
“I did it for us. I’m on your side.”
“Just because you’re on our side, it doesn’t stop you from being a pissing psycho.”
Drake laughed and shut the passenger door. “Charming.”
Only a handful of people waved the group of people off and Pickle pulled the vehicle away, with Karen and Vince next to him, once the gate was slid open.
“I’m not gonna lie to yer lot,” Pickle sighed and brought the vehicle up to thirty on the Gaol Road. “I’m not gonna miss the place.”
“Me neither,” said Vince. “Or the people, apart from Drake.”
“We lost a few people staying there,” Karen said sadly.
“Aye.” Pickle nodded. “And we’ll lose more as the weeks and months go by.”
“A bit negative, Pickle,” Vince jumped in.
“He’s right,” Karen said. “As sad as it is, he’s right.”
*
Drake released a groan as the guard shut the gate. He watched until the black jeep disappeared from view, and then turned around and walked away.
Patricia Johnson stood outside the reception building, and asked Drake, “Sad to see them go?”
“I am.” He nodded. “It wasn’t the happiest of stays for them, but I felt we were getting somewhere.”
“I liked some of them,” Patricia admitted. “Although I thought the Vince and Quint characters were a little unnerving.”
“At the end of the day, we lost another eight people. We still have ninety one, ninety two left?” Drake wasn’t sure.
“I thought it was less than that.”
“Maybe it is. Anyway, we’re still allies, but in different camps. Colwyn Place will come in handy in case we need to stop off when we’re on a run.”
Patricia looked at Drake and he could feel her look. He turned and asked her what was wrong.
“Nothing’s wrong.” She hunched her shoulders. “I was just thinking...”
“Yes?”
“It’s been a while since we slept together.”
“I know,” he sighed. “Just haven’t been in the mood.”
“Really?” Patricia raised her eyebrows at the man’s lies. “I heard Beverley was getting a piece of Drake. And Keira Hardcastle mentioned to one of the guards that she regularly visits your staff room.”
“Look...”
“It’s okay,” Patricia laughed. “I’m okay with it. It’s the apocalypse for God’s sake. Me and Findlay used to shag every now and again when he was here.”
“Did you now?” Drake folded his arms and was stunned by Patricia’s confession. “Cheeky bastard.”
“I’m only human, Drake,” Patricia giggled. “Even me and David Marshall had a moment a couple of weeks back.”
“Oh, fuck off. Tell me you’re joking.”
“It was a one off.” Patricia shook her head. She wished she never had opened her mouth. “Never again.”
Intrigued, Drake asked her, “Why, what happened?“
“I’m not saying.”
“Oh, come on. You can’t tell half a story.”
“You’ll use it to shit stir. Look at the way you used to tease Darren about his IBS.”
Drake held his left hand up, like a cub scout, and promised, “I swear, I won’t say anything.”
Patricia opened her mouth but paused. “Okay.” She sighed and said, “But if you say anything, I’ll never sleep with you again.”
“Deal.”
“David is cute, in a weird kind of way, but it’s been a while since he’s been with someone.”
“Early squirter, was he?”
Patricia nodded. “Never even got his shorts off and he messed himself.”
Patricia was expecting Drake to burst into fits of laughter. He took a step back and rubbed his chin. Drake seemed calm and said, “You must have caught him off guard.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, when we do it, we always pre arrange. So about ten minutes before we meet I usually crack one off so I can perform admirably.”
“God, you men are disgusting.”
“It’s the way we�
��re made. Anyway, you have to feel for David really. If you had arranged to meet him, instead of surprising him like that, he could have performed. I’m guessing you guys snogged, breasts were felt, genitalia was felt, and then suddenly the inside of his shorts resembled a cream spillage, bonk juice everywhere. Poor bastard.”
“Something like that.”
“Anyway, I’ll see you around.”
“Okay,” Patricia sniffed and watched as the man walked away from her. “That was weird.”
Chapter Twenty
The dishevelled man was at the side of the road, dropped his trousers and pulled out the empty bottle. His rucksack was lying on the ground and his other hand took out his penis. The tip was resting on the bottle and he slowly pissed inside it, almost filling it.
He rested the bottle on the ground and did his trousers up, putting his rucksack back on. He picked up the bottle and could feel the warmth coming from the fresh urine. He took a quick swig from the bottle and screwed the top back on.
A rustling noise could be heard and his ears pricked up. He could tell by the shuffling of feet that it was one of the dead, but needed to know if it was male or female.
The female Snatcher stepped out of the woods and onto the road. The man smiled and could see she had on tattered clothes, dirty blonde hair, and her bare feet were all discoloured and cut from walking the earth with no protection.
He pulled out his knife and approached the female. He grabbed the back of her hair and stared at her as she snarled and gnashed at him. He put the handle of his knife in his mouth and used his free hand to caress the breasts of the dead woman. He ripped the top clothing away and exposed her right breast. He caressed the breast once more, his thumb going over the nipple, and then shook his head. He wasn’t happy with her. He could do better.
He took his knife out of his mouth and put the Snatcher down.
“Sorry, darling. You’re not my type.”
A sound could be heard in the distance and he dragged the dead woman into the woods and stepped back out. He knew it was reckless and stupid, but he hadn’t had company for ages and decided to flag down the vehicle.
*
The jeep had been on the road for a matter of minutes and the group had travelled in silence up to this point. The trip had been a mundane affair so far, which everyone was pleased about, and not a single Snatcher had been seen, even from afar.
The road straightened and Pickle noticed an individual thirty yards up ahead. They could see it was male, but unsure whether it was one of the dead or not.
Pickle slowed down as the male turned and waved his arms, confirming he wasn’t one of the dead, and Pickle pulled the vehicle beside the man. The window was rolled down and Vince tried to cover his face when he clocked the man’s features.
“Yer know, yer shouldn’t be flagging people down in this current climate,” Pickle told the man. “There’s a lot o’ bad people out here. Fortunately, we’re not.”
“I know.” The man’s greasy hair looked like it had been dipped in oil, and his bad breath made Pickle wince with disgust. “Thanks for stopping anyway.”
The dishevelled man pulled out a plastic bottle of yellow liquid and took a swig before putting it back into his pocket.
“That water doesn’t look the best,” Karen said to the man.
“That’s not water,” Vince mumbled, his face still partly covered with his hand.
“Can we help yer, friend?” Pickle asked the man. “Yer must have flagged us down for a reason.”
The man never answered and looked by Pickle, inspecting the man that was sat inbetween Pickle and Karen.
“Vince?” The man scratched his greasy hair vigorously, as if it was plagued with bugs. “Is that you?”
Karen and Pickle turned to the side, both looking at the man in the middle.
Vince groaned and slowly removed his hand from his face. “Yep, it’s me.”
“I’m sorry.” Confused, Karen paused and then queried, “You two know each other?”
“This is Zac,” Vince said in a quiet tone. “We met on the road about a week ago.”
“I don’t understand,” said Pickle. “People aren’t allowed out on their own at the hospital.”
“It was when I went out on one of Drake’s mopeds. After the sack had been dropped off at the gate.”
Zac smiled an awful smile, making Karen twist her face. His teeth were a dentist’s nightmare, and the pong coming from his clothes, hair and breath was slowly creeping inside the vehicle.
“I was out here looking for someone,” Zac said with an awful smile, “as well as some food as well.”
“Someone?” Pickle asked.
“Oh, dear God, you don’t want to know,” Vince moaned. “Please, let’s just move.”
“Have you lost someone?”
“Not really,” said Zac, confusing Pickle and Karen. “Just on the look out.”
“What on earth are yer talking about? Yer not making sense.”
“Let’s just go, Pickle,” Vince snapped and raised his hand. “Good to see you, Zac.”
“Wait a minute,” Karen spoke up. “I wanna know what’s going on.”
“Me too,” Mildred spoke up from the back. “I wanna know what the piss he’s talking about.”
“Just go,” Quint moaned. “My bladder is killing me.”
Pickle turned to the Zac character and said to him, “I don’t understand what yer mean.”
“I had someone back at the cabin where I stay, but now I need someone else.”
“Someone else?”
“Had to kill her?”
“What?”
“Look,” Vince chipped in, annoyed that it was taking so long, so he decided to quickly enlighten them. “As well as smelling like a monkey’s arse, Zac lives in a cabin, drinks his own piss, and likes to shag female Snatchers. Now, let’s get the fuck out of here because I’m beginning to feel a bit sick.”
“Same here,” Mildred mumbled.
Pickle turned to Zac and said, “Laters,” before driving away.
Vince felt queasy and Karen put her window down. He could feel the look coming from Pickle and Karen and explained, “I met him on the road, felt sorry for him, and went into his cabin for a drink.”
“Dear God.” Pickle twisted his face in revulsion. “Yer drank his piss?”
“No.” Vince shook his head. “He had some vodka.” Vince paused and mumbled, “As well as some cat meat and a Snatcher he boned now and again. Honestly, I thought I had seen it all.”
“So somebody not to take back to Colwyn then?” Mildred giggled in the back.
“Definitely not.” Vince then looked out of the windscreen and announced, “Rotters up ahead.”
“I see ‘em.” Pickle slowed down and eventually stopped yards from the five dead beings.
Karen stepped out and Mildred joined her, telling the rest of the folk that she wanted to stretch her legs anyway.
Everyone watched as the two females strolled towards the five dead as if it were nothing. Karen pulled out her machete as she got nearer and Mildred already was clenching her bat.
“I’m gonna have to up my game,” said Joanne in the back.
“What do you mean?” asked Vince.
“I need to learn how to dispose of these Creepers. I can’t hide forever.”
“All in good time,” said Vince. “I’ll take you out one day and we’ll go through the motions.”
“I’d like that.”
“We’ll start slow first. Head into the woods and get down to it.” Vince spoke with a cheeky smile, winking at a quiet Tracy, Shelley, Quint and Darren. “And after that we can go looking for some Rotters to kill.”
Joanne playfully slapped Vince on the back of the head and Pickle said he knew that line was coming.
They watched as the girls put down the five with little fuss. Karen put down two to Mildred’s three, and then they started to drag the bodies to the side of the road.
“Should we help?” Trac
y asked from the back. It was the first time she had spoken since they left the hospital. She had been devastated, a lost soul, since Richard’s death, and Karen feared for her mental health.
“Nah,” Pickle responded. “Normally the person who puts the Snatcher down also drags the body to the side.”
“Is that the rules?”
“Not really,” Pickle giggled. “I just made that up.”
“I’m going to get out and help,” Joanne said. Before Vince or anybody else could respond, she added, “If I’m going to start killing these things, I may as well get a bit desensitised. Need to get used to the smell and the way they look.”
“I suppose it’s a start,” Pickle said. “And it does take a while to get used to the smell.”
Joanne left the vehicle and joined Mildred and Karen. She only managed to drag one of the dead to the side of the road—the girls did the rest—and then threw up on the grass bank.
She wafted her face as the countless flies flew around the five corpses, and the queasy and embarrassed Joanne Hammett walked back to the jeep with Mildred and Karen.
She got inside after Karen and Mildred, and Vince told her it was a good effort, but Joanne never responded.
Pickle pulled away and could see Joanne was disappointed in herself and tried to inject some positivity in the woman.
“I remember my first time.” Pickle lied. “Shitting myself, I was.”
This was a complete lie. In truth, when Pickle, KP, Laz and Conor Snodgrass were picked up by Jamie and Janine, the two officers from H Wing, they stopped at a petrol station and Pickle and KP decided to confront a few of the dead that were spotted and started attacking them. It was harder than it looked, but it gave him a buzz.
“Anyway,” he said. “A couple o’ miles and we’ll be back at Colwyn Place.” He then looked at Joanne through the interior mirror. “Back to yer real home.”
She managed a smile.
Chapter Twenty-One
A bored Drake walked around the perimeter of the measly fence that Darren had erected before leaving, creating a large pen for the chickens on the patch of grass, and had a gander around the area.
Snatchers Box Set | Vol. 5 | Books 13-15 Page 54
