by Jacki Kelly
“If the house comes down, at least it won’t be for something frivolous like a strip mall. Your planned community has something everyone can enjoy. I think Mim would have liked that. But a lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. You know—” She turned her body toward him. “I came back to Bristol thinking I was going to put my life back together. Everything I knew about myself...everything I thought was true was here. But it’s not. Once again the ground under my feet has begun to crumble. If I don’t know anything else, I know I need to find my own truth. It won’t be this house, it won’t be our relationship.” She folded her hands in her lap again.
He touched her chin, turning her head to look at him. “So what are you saying?”
Tears rolled freely down her cheeks. “Simeon, I love you. I told you weeks ago, even though you ignored me.” She chuckled but didn’t smile.
“I care about you, too. More than I’ve ever cared for anyone. It’s just that right now—”
“I know. Your business comes first. You’re busy. My head can understand that, it’s my heart that’s having the problem. I’ve been second fiddle in a relationship once before and once was enough for me. Maybe one day our paths will cross at just the right time. For both of us.”
“But—” She placed her finger over his lips to silence him.
The only thing he could do was nod.
I just can let go. I can’t expose myself to being hurt.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Asa stumbled over a box to grab the ringing phone.
“What are you doing?” Dakota inquired.
“Packing boxes.” Asa stuffed newspaper into the box and taped down the flaps. “I thought you were coming over.”
“I’ll be there as soon as I can close up the bookstore.”
“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t bring much from Atlanta. What little stuff I wanted from the house I packed up already. The rest can go down with the house. The truck will be here in a few hours to pick up the last of the boxes. Everything should be done by the time you arrive,” Asa said.
“So, have you talked to him?” Dakota inquired.
“No. I think we’ve said everything there is to say. I’ve accepted it.”
“You’ve accepted what...the house or the status of your relationship with Simeon?”
“Both.” She sighed heavily. “It will be easier to get over the house than to get over Simeon. He’s charming and gallant. I thought we had finally changed, had stopped doing that silly dance where I stepped forward and he stepped back. I even told him I loved him.”
“You what?” Dakota yelled so loud Asa had to hold the phone away from her ear.
“I know, I know. I should have kept my mouth shut.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes, I love Simeon. I’ve loved him since high school. I probably loved him in grade school when he looked under my dress, too. But his work is his priority and I never want to be second in another relationship.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“I’m a big girl, Dakota. I’ve been chasing that man for too long. He’s got something to prove and I won’t come between him and his mission. I don’t want to wait around hoping he can conquer his demons. I’m done. One failed marriage teaches you a lot.” She paused for a moment. “But, anyway, a community center with housing for senior citizens is something this neighborhood needs. I talked with Mrs. Donald before she left to visit her daughter. When the cottages are complete she’s moving back here. She was so excited about not having to leave her church and her friends.”
“So it seems like some people got the happy ending. But what about you? What are you going to do?” Dakota asked again.
“I’m going to do what I always do. I’m going to design something beautiful and expensive, then find somewhere really nice to wear it. There’s the doorbell, hold on a second.”
Asa ran down the stairs with Scruffy barking behind her. She pulled open the door. “May I help you?” she asked the stranger in the dark blue suit. “Are you Asa Conroy?”
“Yes, and you are?”
“Brad Stevens, from Harper Enterprise. I’m checking with the neighbors of Golden Leaf to see if Harper Enterprise can assist with the packing.”
“I think I have everything under control.” She glanced at the stack of boxes behind her. “Did Simeon send you?”
“No. Not specifically.”
She shifted her weight and turned away. “Thank you, Brad. I think I can handle everything.”
Asa watched him cross the street and knock on another door. She half wished Simeon had been the one checking on her. She wanted to asked about Simeon, but living in the past was no fun. Two weeks wasn’t enough time to stop her heart from racing every time she thought about him.
“Come on, Scruffy.” She ushered the dog back into the house before closing the door.
“Who was it?” Dakota asked when she came back to the phone.
Asa relayed the conversation as she placed a wedding picture of her grandparents in a box and sealed it.
“I’ve cleaned out the spare room. Do you want to stay with me tonight?”
“No, I want to stay in the house for the final night. My new furniture is being delivered to the loft tomorrow, so I’ll be fine.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll be there in a few hours.” Dakota disconnect the call.
Asa turned out the light in her grandparents’ bedroom and pulled the door closed. Her final sweep of the house found everything in order. The few boxes left would be loaded in her car tomorrow morning.
She touched the doorknob of her parents’ bedroom. Maybe the sadness she saw in her mother’s eyes during their last visit to Atlanta had nothing to do with her. Asa gripped the tarnished knob. The look that lurked behind her mother’s eyes could have been tied to her own breaking heart.
“Be happy, Mom and Dad. I will,” she whispered. She rubbed her hand over the closed door before retreating to her bedroom.
I’ll keep the memories of the last few weeks tucked in my heart, forever.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Asa parked her car and jumped out with Scruffy right behind her. In the last five days a chain-link fence had been constructed around the community preventing her from parking any closer to what used to be home. The ground under her feet was saturated by the rain from last night. She removed her expensive sandals and placed them on the back seat of the car. Better to ruin her thirty-dollar pedicure than her four hundred dollar shoes.
Nothing about Excalibur Street looked familiar now. Mounds of dirt and asphalt dotted the landscape. The roar of heavy equipment assaulted her ears. Her palms were sweating. She swiped them against her shorts as she looked around the deserted area. Parked behind the fence she could see several cars and trucks; many of them boasted the name Harper Enterprise. She swallowed, expecting anger to clog her throat, but the anger didn’t materialize. A good sign. She could move on, get on with her life.
With her fingers threaded through the links of the fence she squinted at what used to be her home. Where were the other residents? Didn’t they want to witness the destruction as it unfolded? Scruffy whined and tugged at his leash to get behind the fence.
According to Dakota, the happy family tableau imprinted on her memory was distorted. Always had been. She kicked a dusty mound with her toe and watched the dirt settle back down. She had two options; hold on to her memories the way they were or listen to her sisters’ version of the story. She had the balance of the summer to decide which version suited her best. She smirked, knowing reality would win. Her rose colored glasses were now buried in the same box with her divorce decree. Letting Simeon go was the hardest part. Maybe she would never stop loving him, but she had to keep moving forward.
She inched along the fence so that she could see the house from where she stood. Sweat dripped between her breasts, she pulled her blouse away from her abdomen and allowed the cool air to touch her skin. The heavy equipment went silent. In the distan
ce, she could hear one of the workers yelling a greeting to his co-worker. She pulled her phone from her purse.
“Dakota are you coming down here?” she asked.
“No. The store is really busy this morning. Besides, I don’t think that’s a sight I want to see. Don’t watch the demolition, Asa. Come down here with me, we’ll get some ice cream. It will just make you sad.”
“Believe it or not, I’m okay. I’m not as sad as I thought I would be. Knowing about Mom and Dad and how they felt about the house really changed my perspective. But I might take you up on that offer of food. Maybe we can even have a celebration of sorts. To my new life.”
Asa heard her sister’s heavy sigh. “Well, we don’t know if Mom and Dad would have gotten a divorce. They may have decided to stay together and live happily ever after.”
“Now who’s living in La-La-Land?” Asa chided. “I’ll call you later this evening. We can have dinner somewhere nice.” Asa disconnected the call.
The huge yellow excavator roared to life again. It made a three quarter turn away from her neighbor’s house to face her grandparents’ house before coming to a stop. She could see the operator behind the wheel of the huge piece of equipment turning knobs. Maybe this was the moment when the phone was supposed to ring and the house would receive a stay of demolition.
The air was still as the machine idled. Several workers viewed a large blueprint while others tucked their hands in their pockets. After several minutes one worker rolled up the drawing and nodded at the operator behind the controls. The machine started again. The sway of the heavy metal ball increased in velocity. Slicing through the air without making a sound. It swung into the front of the house with a crash, crumbling it into a grotesque ugly snarl. Another swing of the ball brought the second floor of the house crashing down onto the first floor.
Asa couldn’t turn away from the hideous sight. The ball made several more swipes at the house before it resembled the other piles of rubble. Half expecting tears, she reached into her purse, but instead of a tissue she opted for gum instead.
She couldn’t find anything recognizable anymore as she looked back through the dust clouds at the pile of shingles, wood, and drywall. Even the magnolia tree that used to cover part of house lay on its side, its roots exposed.
“How quickly things change.” She knelt down and rubbed Scruffy’s chin. The dog lifted his head to give her more surfaces to scratch. “I believe everything happens for a reason. Just so I wouldn’t be so lonely, you showed up on my doorstep, didn’t you, sweetie.”
With his rough tongue, he licked her cheek. “I love you too, puppy. Let’s get outta here.” She made her way along the fence without looking back. The scene behind her belonged in the past and it had to stay there. That included Simeon and what may have been.
“Well, Scruffy that was really quite liberating wasn’t it?” They rounded the corner into the blinding sunlight. She used her free hand to shield her eyes. Her sunglasses were on the passenger seat of her car.
Even with the glare of the sun she recognized the tall, lean figure approaching. The swagger, the narrow waist, and long strides; she knew them in her sleep. Her heart thumped. It couldn’t always be this way when she saw him. If she was going to stay in Bristol she had to find a way to see Simeon and not lose her composure. Her feeling for him was something else she had to let go of.
“I should have known I’d find you here,” his deep baritone was barely audible over the sounds from the construction.
“I needed one last look. A few minutes later and I would have missed it.” She continued to make her way to her car. Scruffy sniffed Simeon’s pant leg. “This is going to be a nice community when it is all done. You should be very proud.”
He reached for her arm, slowing her down. “After all these years you still don’t know me, do you?”
The genuine sound of his voice made her stop. Her eyes fell on his hand, where it touched her bare arm. “Simeon, it’s okay about the house. Maybe it’s a good thing the house is gone. Now I’m free to do whatever I want without being haunted by what used to be.”
“I’m not talking about the house, Asa.” He pulled her closer. Scruffy weaved his leash through Simeon’s legs.
“Oh, no, Simeon. We are not doing this again. This thing--” She looked down at the dog. “This thing we do, I move forward, you pull back. I’m not doing that anymore.”
“You see, that’s where you’re wrong. I’ve never pulled back.”
She put her hand up to stop his speech.
“That’s what we do. We disagree. We fight. And what for? We have never even been a couple and we fight all the time. We can’t even agree on what happened a few weeks ago.” She touched his face. Her hand trailed across his rough cheek and down to his chin. He hadn’t shaved yet. His handsome features tugged at her heart. How could she get him out of her heart? If she had to walk away, she wanted to remember the heat she felt every time she came into contact with him.
“A few weeks ago you told me you loved me.” There was a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Oh, you did hear me. I thought you had gone deaf.”
He pulled her into his arms. His dark eyes blazed. His tongue flicked her lips before he parted them. He started slowly, so slowly. She wanted his tongue to fill her mouth and claim her. Instead of pulling away, like she’d promised she’d do, she pressed her body against his. He made a noise, a hushed growl, as his hand moved up her back and squeezed her tighter.
She pulled away scarcely able to breathe.
“I love you, too, Asa. I’ve loved you for more years than you know. Since the day I broke your CD player and--”
“Is this a joke? Are you trying to make me feel better about the house? Because if you are, it’s okay. I’m okay. Really I--”
“It’s not a joke. I’ve been trying to ignore my feelings for you for almost ten years. After the last two weeks—I can’t do it anymore. I’ve picked up the phone almost a hundred times since you kicked me out of your house.” He leaned closer and whispered in her ear. “I thought I could live without you, and I can. But...I don’t want to, what would be the use?”
The expression on his face matched the passion in his voice. He was sincere. The leash slipped from her trembling hand. “I love you, Asa. I always have. I always will. You stole my heart in high school and you still have it.”
“Oh Simeon.”
He dropped down on one knee and held her hand. “Say you’ll marry me. Say you’ll be the mother of my babies. Say we’ll grow old together.”
“You’re serious? she murmured, trying to catch her breath.
“I’ve never meant anything as much as I mean this. I’m a better man with you than I could ever be without you. I want to make a life with you. A life worth living, not just existing. I want to spend the rest of my life making you as happy as you’ve made me since you came back.”
“But what about your business, Harper Enterprise? No commitment. No time.”
“Lies I’ve told myself. Lies I can’t accept anymore. I want you. Say you’ll marry me.” His eyes pleaded.
“Yes, yes, yes,” she gushed. “Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll have your babies and most of all I’ll grow old with you. I’ll grow gray hair, arthritis, old with you.”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.” He stood up and held her tight.
“You’re serious, right.”
He laughed. “I am.” He picked her up around the waist and swung her around. Instead of putting her down, he cradled her, picked up the dog leash and carried her down the block.
“Simeon, I can walk.” She squirmed in her arms. He opened the door to his car and slid her into the front passenger seat, then allowed Scruffy to jump onto the back seat.
“What about my car?”
“I’ll send someone for it later today.”
“But...but my shoes?”
“I’ll buy you new ones. You’re not getting away from me ever again, Asa Conroy.”
&nbs
p; This is happening. He loves me?
Epilogue
Asa peeked around the panel at the large crowd gathering in The Art Institute of New York City. The hum of the throng of people grew louder every minute. She could barely hear the thump of the bass music playing in the background. She spotted Dakota and Melissa seated in the front row on the left side of the runway with their heads pressed together, whispering. Having her sisters present should have calmed her, but not today.
She backed away from the entrance to the large auditorium. Behind her throngs of make-up artists and tailors scurried from one model to the next making last minute adjustments. She ducked out of the way of a seamstress with a mouthful of stick pins to find Simeon.
He stood just beyond the flurry of activity with his arms crossed and his chin lifted just enough to make him look like an Adonis. After so many years of wanting him and eighteen months of marriage, her love had not diminished. He still made her pulse race. How he managed to stay calm with all the hustle and bustle amazed her. She needed a hunk of his tranquility to settle her jittery nerves.
“How’s my handsome husband?”
“More importantly, how’s my beautiful wife?” He wrapped his arm around her waist.
“I’m so nervous,” she said to him over the buzz in the room.
“Breathe, Asa. The show is going to be fantastic. Look around, every ensemble looks stunning. The colors are amazing.” He paused to smile at her. “The early reviews for your collection are all good. This is not your first Fashion Week appearance. You’re no longer a neophyte and you’re no one hit wonder.”
Asa noticed a tall, thin model, with a sleek ponytail and smoky gray eyes wearing her favorite piece in the collection. The color blocked red and orange dress she wore bared her arms and stopped just above her knees. The crisscross bodice accentuated her lithe frame. Asa could not help feeling reassured by the sight and Simeon’s words.
He pressed his lips against her temple and held her tight. She slipped her arms around his waist. No matter how many times he hugged her, it always felt like the first time.
