“Know that we had a lovely chat and I think I got to know him quite well,” Mac added with his winning smile.
I sighed in defeat and turned my attention to the game while I stretched my arms and shoulders. The grand opening for Eat Cake was in a week and I couldn’t afford to injure myself because I was distracted and sulking. Oh, and we had a game to win, and I’d be damned if I fucked that up.
After winning the game, Mac suggested we head to the gym. I’d expected him to try to talk to me about Eli more, but he didn’t. He did, however, describe in explicit detail the sex he had with a woman named Jasmyne-with-a-y he met on Tinder the night before. By the time we finished up, I felt like I’d been the one who had sex with her, and my need for a shower had never been stronger. I knew he was upselling the events of the night to distract me, but I didn’t call him out on it.
Not having planned on going to the gym after the game, I only had the one change of clean clothes on me, which I’d worn to work out in. I left Mac in the locker room to shower alone and went straight home to avoid having to change into either set of dirty clothes.
The door to the apartment barely closed behind me before I began to rid myself of my clothes. I headed for the shower, not even stopping to pick up after myself. Mac would flip out if my stuff was still scattered about when he got home, but that was at the back of my mind as hot water soaked my hair and shoulders.
The water was a touch too hot, though it wasn’t anything my skin wouldn’t adjust to in a few moments. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair, immediately feeling better. I exhaled and went about washing my hair and body while my mind drifted off and settled on the very thing I tried most not to think about: Elijah Harper.
He smelled like the ocean after his shower yesterday, and I’d have happily drowned in him if he’d let me. I’d cooked and taken on the stir fry’s fragrance, but the ocean scent remained on Eli all evening, subtly mixing with his body’s chemistry as the night went on. I wanted that scent to envelop me. I wanted to know he was near without having to open my eyes or rely on touch.
Touch. What would I do if I could touch him? Would I cherish him and lavish him in soft caresses until he cried for more, or would it be frenzied and chaotic—all torrid passion and carnality?
I’d been known to like rough sex from time to time, but I wanted to feast on Eli. I wanted to slowly draw out every ounce of pleasure he could give then take more until he was left boneless and sated in my arms. I’d kiss his neck and all of those beautiful marks on his fair skin. I wondered if he was covered in them before I remembered that, yes, he was.
The memory of Eli naked and writhing under me had me fully erect in seconds. I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever been so fucking hot for someone. It was dizzying—or maybe it was the steam and the fact that it felt like all of the blood in my body was in my cock. I gave myself a quick squeeze at the base, slightly pulling my foreskin back to expose the tip. The shocks of pleasure spread through me, all the way down to my toes. The sensation was heady—too much for me to handle while standing and already unsteady. I shut the water off and went straight for my bed, skipping a towel and kicking my door shut along the way.
I fell on my back and scooted up to rest on my pillows for comfort. I knew I wouldn’t last long in the state I was in, but I wanted to enjoy it the best I could. I ran my hand down my chest and stomach until I felt the hair get steadily thicker at the base of my cock. My skin was on fire and it had nothing to do with the near scalding water I’d just stepped out of.
Drawing out the experience was probably what I’d have done if I was thinking clearly, but I wasn’t. I wrapped my fingers around my tip and moved my hand up and down, exposing my oversensitive cockhead on every down-stroke. A desperate moan I barely recognized forced its way out of my mouth, urging me to stroke faster.
I closed my eyes, and Eli was everything I could see. Vivid images of him—some imagined and some memories—flooded my mind, invading every thought. I imagined holding his hand while kissing his neck and burying my cock deep inside his taut body, working sighs of pleasure out of him. But it was the image of looking into his eyes and tasting his lips that had me thrusting my hips up into my fist as the mother of all orgasms roared through my body. Cum shot on my chest and stomach as spasm after spasm sent waves of pleasure crashing over me.
My throat was dry from panting and my muscles ached from exertion when I finally melted against the bed. Too sated and weak to move, I lay there and tried to catch my breath as my cum dried all over me. When I was able to, I lifted my head and took in the mess I’d made of myself and sighed; I looked like a damn Toaster Strudel and was in need of another shower.
And perhaps some divine intervention to help me with my Eli dilemma.
I met with my financial advisor at my father’s behest to discuss, well, everything. It was Thursday and the day before the grand opening of Eat Cake, so I was anxious and busy and wanting to be anywhere but at the fucking bank going over my investment portfolio. What got me through those awful two hours was knowing that I was going to see Eli shortly after. It was his idea to open on a Friday in case there were any major problems that needed to be fixed over the weekend. We were concluding our Star Wars movie nights with Solo, which I was really excited for. My love for Han hadn’t waned while watching Episodes one through three, and I was elated to see him back in The Force Awakens.
More than that, I longed to see Eli again. I hadn’t seen him in about a week and a half and was ready to crawl out of my skin. We’d been texting nearly every day, but it wasn’t the same as seeing him and being able to touch him. I missed the sound of his voice, especially how it sounded thick with sleep. I missed the warmth he exuded whenever he was close to me, and I missed seeing him smile. I fucking missed Prince too. I felt guilty about not dropping by to see her last week, but I’d been so damn busy with finalizing everything for the opening.
I hired a guy to take and fulfill beverage orders after spending more money than I was comfortable with on an industrial coffeemaker. Good coffee was one of the suggestions Eli had been adamant about for patrons who decided to order in. I trusted his judgement implicitly, which is how I ended up with a coffee contraption that set me back almost six grand. However, it did brew some really nice coffee.
“Are you excited about tomorrow?” Eli asked from his seat across the kitchen island. He snacked on the piles of chopped-up carrots, peppers, and halved cherry tomatoes I’d set aside while I julienned some zucchini. At Eli’s request, I was making spaghetti primavera again. I couldn’t see her from where I stood, but I was certain Prince sat at Eli’s feet.
“I am, but I’ve been thinking about changing the menu. It’s way too last minute now, but it’s not sitting right with me. Thinking about it kept me up pretty late last night.” I conveniently left out that I’d been thinking about Eli even more than the dumb menu, as if I could say that.
Eli swallowed the last cherry tomato he’d popped in his mouth, and I absolutely did not track the movements in his throat when he swallowed it down. His tongue darted out, drawing my attention to his rosy pink lips. He licked his bottom lip in what was probably an innocent gesture, but my dick had other ideas and twitched at the sight. I’d stopped chopping veggies and was halfway down the rabbit hole when Eli’s voice pulled me back.
“You’re just nervous. I’ve tasted everything you’ll be putting out, and, while I’m no expert, it was all delicious. Like, the best desserts I’ve ever had. I watched you revise that menu so many times until you were happy with it. My research showed that you should leave it as is for at least two months until you have regular patrons. Adding a weekly or even daily special item will be exciting enough in the beginning before you make any significa—” Eli cut himself off and stared at me with his perfect brown eyes. “I-I mean it’s your business, and you can do whatever you want with it. I didn’t mean to sound like I was telling you what to do.” His shoulders slumped, like they used to when he’d embarrassed
himself, and he dropped his gaze from mine. I hadn’t seen that type of reaction from him in weeks and it made me want to jump over the counter and hug him.
I set down the knife and wiped my hands on a dish towel while I spoke. “It’s all right. I know what you meant. And you’re right. I’m nervous and freaking out. Everything is as close to perfect as it’s going to be, and I need to relax.”
Eli looked up at me, and I was relieved to see a crooked grin on his face. “Take it from me, it’s easier said than done.”
I huffed in amusement then resumed my work with the knife. I wanted to ask Eli more about his anxiety, but no time seemed to be the right time. He’d just mentioned it offhandedly, so I tried to casually probe. “Have you always been, um—”
“Batshit crazy,” Eli muttered nonchalantly.
“Not what I was going to say.”
“Sorry. I’m being an asshole. You’re wondering if I have a diagnosis for my anxiety and stuff? The answer is no. I’ve always been a bit antisocial. It got so much worse after my mom died.” His voice was even, very matter-of-fact, though his movements were twitchy. He was clearly uncomfortable but was telling me anyway.
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay, but it was a long time ago. I became a bit of a recluse after she died. Working at Red Right Hand has helped with that, though. Eve has especially helped me.”
I dropped my head and smiled. I really wanted to meet her. I couldn’t exactly thank her for looking after Eli, but I wanted to. Thinking about how alone he must have been made my heart ache, but I couldn’t dwell on what I couldn’t change. I had to focus on what I could affect, and that meant being the best friend I could be.
“You’ve really helped me too, you know,” Eli said in a hushed voice, meeting my eyes, though submitting nonetheless with his body language. “Not to sound weird or strange, you’re very important to me. Maybe it’s because you’re a guy—I don’t know. It’s different than it is with Eve. She looks out for me, makes sure I’m taking care of myself in an almost motherly way. With you…” Eli trailed off, shifting on his stool. I wanted to tell him that he was damn important to me too, but I knew he had more to say, and I longed to hear it. “I’m not sure how to describe what it feels like with you. You’re the first real guy friend I’ve had in my adult life, and I just don’t know what that’s supposed to look like.” He rubbed the back of his neck and huffed a bitter laugh. “I’m probably saying too much. Guys don’t really do that with each other from what I’ve observed, huh? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything; I just want you to know that your friendship means a lot to me. I mean, you do too—mean a lot to me, that is. Okay, I’m going to shut up now.”
Speechless. It’d only happened a few times in my life, but Eli had rendered me speechless. Moments before I’d had a hundred things I wanted to say to him. Now, after hearing Eli speak so candidly, all of my thoughts left me. I blinked at him, no doubt looking like a fool, while I processed his words. Cinnamon-and-caramel irises conveying such trust and vulnerability pinned me, making it harder to focus.
Too long had gone by with my silence hanging between us. There wasn’t anything I could say that would accurately express what I was feeling—save for impulsively telling him that I was falling in love with him, which was off the table. I dropped the knife and rounded the island until I stood beside Eli. His forehead crinkled, probably in confusion, as he slid off the stool toward me. He parted his lips, but I grabbed the front of his shirt before he could get any words out, and pulled him against my chest. I wrapped my arms around his back and hoped that hugging him would tell him everything I couldn’t say.
I knew I’d shocked him, and I probably should have asked him if the contact was okay, but I wasn’t thinking about anything other than letting him know he was loved. He froze when I first embraced him, but not two seconds later, his arms wrapped around me and his hands fisted my T-shirt. A deep, relieved sigh rushed out of me, and I turned my head to murmur in his ear.
“Thank you.” I pulled back and released him before continuing. “I feel very much the same about you. I’ve had plenty of male friends, yet I’ve never known anyone like you. Having you in my life has made me a better person, and I can’t thank you enough for that.”
“I don’t know, you were pretty great from the start,” Eli said with a small grin.
“And now I’m better. Oh my, do you think I’m perfect now?” I joked, eliciting a full smile from Eli.
Scarlet crept up Eli’s neck, and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “If ever there was a perfect person, I have no doubt it would be you.”
Kiss him. That was the prevailing thought in my mind. Consequences be damned, just kiss him. I didn’t need to remind myself why I couldn’t. In my mind and in my heart there were no consequences. In reality, I knew that I could destroy everything between us by giving into my base desires, and after the progress we just made, I would not allow that to happen.
“You’re too nice to me. You’ll give me a complex if that continues and then I’ll be a real nightmare.” I forced a smile and lightly nudged Eli’s upper arm. “Hey, and don’t worry so much about us. There’s no one right way to be friends with someone. This”—I motioned between us—“is working well for us both—that’s all that matters.” I flashed a smile when Eli nodded and then went back around to the cutting board to resume prepping our dinner.
Eleven
Eli
I’d almost thrown up when I told Bryan how I felt about him. And I’d told him about my mom—more than I’d even told Eve. I didn’t know what came over me last night, but saying it all felt right. Sitting at my desk the next morning, I had no regrets. It wasn’t easy to say, and I was glad I didn’t fuck it up, like I’d done with so many other things in my life.
I sent Bryan a text wishing him good luck when I woke up. He’d replied immediately and said he just put red velvet cupcakes in the oven. I promised him I’d stop in during my lunch break and see how things were going, which seemed to please him. I wanted to go earlier, but I had other files to work on, including a brand-new one for a tech start-up. Something to do with creating phone apps. I really wasn’t sure what it was all about, hence why I needed to log some desk time and get acquainted with my new clients’ venture.
I also had a couple of emails and calls from Hana to return, which I didn’t tell Eve about to avoid her teasing. I knew Hana liked me; I just tried not to think about it. It was the same tactic I’d been using to avoid difficult things my entire life, even before I lost my mom.
As much as I didn’t seek out relationships, women always seemed to be drawn to me—until they figured out that I couldn’t love them. Hana was being more persistent than most, and I wasn’t sure how I should handle that.
“You look like you need help,” Eve said. I looked up to see her leaned around her computer with a knowing smile spanning her red lips.
“It’s Hana. She’s been calling and emailing me for weeks. I don’t want to be rude, but she won’t leave me alone.” I knew I was whining—I didn’t care. Dealing with Hana was at the bottom of my list of priorities.
“Oh, I’m well aware. She emailed me asking for your whereabouts just this mornin’.”
I groaned and dropped my head to my desk. “Ugh. You were right.”
“I always am, pet. Now scoot over.” Eve rolled her chair around the desk and bumped into mine when I didn’t move fast enough. “We’re gun’na send ’er a strongly worded reply.” She accentuated her accent, making me smile.
Eve winked at me then her fingers tapped away at my keyboard, far more eloquently than I ever could have mustered. While continuing to type, she glanced at me with a raised eyebrow and asked if I found a date for her wedding. The big day was quickly approaching at just three weeks away.
Honestly, I’d forgotten all about finding a date. Bryan had taken up all of my non-work-related thoughts since we reconnected. Posed with the question, he was
the only person I thought to take. No. He was the only person I wanted to take. Eve had several cousins that could accompany me in the event that I didn’t find a date, but, if Bryan was willing, that measure wouldn’t be necessary.
“I was thinking I’d ask Bryan if he wanted to go with me. He wants to meet you.” I looked down at Eve’s stilled fingers and shrugged. “I’m not sure he’ll say yes, though.”
Eve turned toward me and brushed my hair behind my ear. “Why wouldn’t he?”
I shrugged again. “I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do. Tell me what’s buggin’ ya.”
Of course she knew. I did too, but I was scared to say it—scared to put the words out there and give them traction. But I’d been doing a lot of new things that scared me in the past. I could do one more.
I leaned in toward Eve and spoke quietly to avoid eavesdroppers—and because it was the most I could manage. “I’m worried that he won’t want to see me anymore. I mean, now that our working relationship is over and we don’t have any movies left to watch. What if he was only indulging me to make working with me easier instead of awkward and stilted, like it was in the beginning?”
“You don’t really believe that, do you?” she asked.
“I… no. No, I don’t. I know—I know he wouldn’t do that. Yet there’s a part of me that keeps whispering that dreaded ‘what if.’ It’s followed me around for my entire life and has kept me back from so much. I thought I was keeping myself safe. ‘What if they laugh at you?’ ‘What if you fail?’ I’ve asked myself questions like that ever since I can remember. I’m used to it now, but with Bryan it’s so much worse.” I swallowed and licked my lips, which felt dry beyond measure. “What if I lose him? I don’t know what I’d do.”
Princes of the Universe Page 10
