“I want to make you come, Bryan. And I want you to touch me.”
I nodded and raked my fingers through his hair, grasping at the short strands when he took me into his mouth again. I wanted to thrust, but I kept my hips still and worked my hands through Eli’s hair instead, careful not to force him farther onto my cock. He took my suggestion and held me at my base while he worked the first few inches in and out of his mouth. He readjusted his grip, adding more pressure, and pulled more of my foreskin back before taking me back in.
My toes curled, and my voice scraped out low and needy while I urged him to keep going. He kept up the pace, going faster as my breathing kicked up. His free hand held my hip hard enough that I felt his blunt nails dig into my skin. A familiar pressure began to build, and I warned him that I was going to come. He continued sucking me, and I erupted with a low moan stymied by gritted teeth. Eli backed off too soon and one last spasm shot cum on his chin. Before he could wipe it away, my mouth was on him and I swiped up the stray cum with my tongue. I broke the kiss, stroked my fingers down the front of his face, and collapsed facedown on the bed with a grunt.
Prince picked that moment to get up and attack my face. I was too weak and boneless to move and just lay there and let it happen. Eli found the scene all too amusing and laughed before taking pity on me. I heard him get up and call her from the doorway. I looked up, and he was slipping on a pullover hoodie and already had on sweats.
“I need to take Prince out for a walk. I’d invite you to come with me, but you’ve only got your jeans, and I’ve always hated how walking in jeans felt, so I figured you’d be more comfortable here.” He absently scratched at his neck, drawing my eye to one of the red marks I’d left on him. Whoops.
“I’ll wait here and make breakfast,” I said as I sat upright. Eli’s eyes traveled up and down my body, lingering on my now soft cock for a few beats before the sound of Prince’s nails on the floor caught his attention.
“Right. I’ll see you in twenty minutes.”
They came back in fifteen minutes, just as I finished prepping vegetables and cooking bacon for omelets. By the time Eli fed Prince and washed his hands, I had breakfast hot and ready for him on the counter. He thanked me, and we ate in a comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other and smiling when we got caught.
“I suppose I don’t have to be stealthy when I check you out now,” I teased, pushing my empty plate away.
“I suppose not. I wish you would have told me how you felt, though I do understand why you didn’t. I’m sorry about how difficult that must have been for you.” Eli lowered his plate and let Prince have the last bite of egg. He sometimes shared with her, but I was pretty sure he did it to look away from me out of guilt.
“It’s all right. You didn’t do anything wrong. So,” I started, “is there anything you want to ask me, or do you want me to talk first?”
Without a moment’s thought, Eli asked, “Am I gay?” His face was neutral and unaffected, as if he’d just asked for the time.
“Not necessarily,” I said carefully. “Have you been attracted to men before?”
He shook his head. “Not at all. I’m barely attracted to anyone, but I’ve never even looked twice at a man before you.”
He could have been bisexual, but something about that didn’t seem right. “When did you start to develop feelings for me?”
Eli looked me in the eye and sat up straight. “I’m not exactly sure. It didn’t just happen one day. The more I got to know you, the more I liked you, and that never stopped. There wasn’t one defining incident; it’s everything about you.”
His voice had an air of certainty and confidence to it that I only heard when he was talking about his work, Prince, or Star Wars. I believed every word he said, especially after experiencing how brazen he was for his first time with a man. Well, his second. He didn’t second-guess himself with his work, and that was the vibe I got from him when he spoke of his feelings for me.
I grinned at him, lacing our fingers together in his lap. “Were you physically attracted to me when we met? Um, after our misunderstanding was cleared up.”
“No, not at all. I mean, I could tell you were a handsome guy, but nothing beyond that. I don’t really understand how that could be, because when I look at you now, I want to tear you apart. Is that normal?”
“It’s how I feel about you, too.” I flashed him a small smile before continuing. “I think you might be demisexual. And likely bisexual.”
“That demi thing doesn’t sound normal,” he mumbled.
I brought his hand up, still joined with mine, and kissed it. “You’re plenty normal. All it means is that you need an emotional connection before the sex part happens. And I’m guessing bisexual because, well, here we are.”
Eli’s forehead creased while he thought about it, and he nodded. “It sounds accurate. It would also explain why I was such a fucking failure in all of my prior relationships.”
“You weren’t a failure. You didn’t understand what you needed, and no one else took the time to properly find out. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I refused to let him go on thinking he was defective or not worthy of living life to the fullest. “I’ll say it every day until you believe it.”
“What if I never do?”
“Then I’ll spend forever trying—if you’ll have me that long,” I replied.
He smiled at me then scratched the back of his head. “I don’t want you to go anywhere.”
“Then I won’t. I meant it when I said I loved you.” I looked down at Prince, lying on her side under Eli’s stool. “I love both of you.”
“It feels good to hear that. What do we do now? Did you want to have sex today, or…”
It was my turn to crease my forehead in confusion. “What do you think we did earlier?”
“I mean like, sex sex. Penetration.” His confidence wavered, and he sounded more like he did when we first met. Unsure and insecure.
“We don’t have to do more, Eli. We don’t have to do anything we’re both not fully comfortable with. Anal sex doesn’t have to be the end goal. There’s no script and there are no rules—there’s just us and whatever feels right.”
He visibly relaxed, loosening his shoulders and easing his features. “Okay. I’d like to, just maybe not today.”
“That’s okay.”
“I would like to blow you again, though. I think I can do better.”
Fuck. “I’m not going to turn that down. Do you want to take a shower first?” The surprised look on his face morphed into intrigue and then lust. He kissed me, stroking the back of my neck then took off toward the bathroom, leaving the door open behind him.
I spent all of Sunday at Eli’s in my underwear or less and ended up staying the night. I got up way too damn early to go to work, glad I kept a change of clothes there. The day was long and busy as usual, but the thought of Eli and the most perfect weekend kept me going strong. I had a hickey on my collarbone that served as a reminder that I hadn’t dreamt the whole thing up in some lust-induced craze.
Eli’s confession struck me entirely off guard, though he hadn’t exactly tried to hide anything he was feeling. Mac had been hinting at it since the day he met Eli, but I was too stuck in my feelings of unrequited love and wouldn’t allow myself to think he could possibly love me in return—even if everyone else saw it.
When I got home, Mac was blasting “Jump Around” while working in his boxers and an unzipped sweater. You know, because winter. Before I could even tell him what had happened, he jumped up with a huge shit-eating grin on his face.
“You got some! I can fucking tell—oh my God, did you tell Eli you loved him? No, not that. He told you, didn’t he?”
I bit my bottom lip and smiled at him with a shrug of my shoulders. “He told me first. Why didn’t you tell me, man?”
“Nah, come on. You wouldn’t have believed me even if I had. You needed to hear it from him or figure it out for yourself.” He stood up and rounded the
island, practically bouncing toward me. “Get over here and hug me, you dense bastard,” he said as he pulled me into a hug. “I’m so happy for you, Bry. For both of you. Where is our dear Elijah anyway?”
“He’s at his apartment.”
Mac smacked the back of my head. “Then why are you here?”
“Um, because I live here? And I wanted to see you,” I replied dryly.
“I won’t be offended if you leave me for Eli. Although I do still expect you to hand-deliver me baked goods every week. And, shit, the occasional dinner too.”
It was my turn to whack him. “Calm down. I’m not going anywhere. Things with Eli just started.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll turn some music on when I go to bed, so I don’t hear your kinky phone sex,” he teased.
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop myself from smiling. “Anyway, you wanna play some COD when you’re finished working?”
He walked back over to the island and pushed his laptop closed. “The joys of working from home. Let’s go.”
After a week of rotating my nights between my apartment and Eli’s, we went on our first real date. He let me plan our outing, and I thought I picked something he’d really like. On an early Saturday morning I made raspberry pancakes with a peach schnapps reduction for breakfast in bed—which also turned into mutual blowjobs—before we got dressed and caught a bus. I’d mentioned a cab, but Eli insisted we could take the bus or train, depending on the distance, and cut down on the cost.
Eli wasn’t a man entertained by grand, expensive gestures, so when we arrived at the Adler planetarium and I saw his surprised, wide-eyed expression, I knew I’d made the correct choice. I gave myself a mental high five when he smiled at me and said he’d never been there before.
I paid for our admission and Eli kept quiet until we were out of earshot from the ticket clerk. He asked me why I paid for him, and I simply told him it was because we were on a date.
“Does that make me the girl, then? I mean, in terms of how our roles work. I always paid when I took girls out. It was expected.”
I stopped our progression and pulled him aside, out of the way of a family behind us. “Absolutely not. There isn’t a male-female dynamic here. I paid for you because I’m taking you out. If you want to take me out and pay, you can. Or we can split it if you’re more comfortable with that. Remember what I said before? There are no rules—it’s just us and whatever we want.”
“I’m sorry. I’m ruining this.”
I cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead. “You’re not. Now come on. There’s a ton of cool stuff I want you to see today.”
We started in the Welcome Gallery, taking in the kaleidoscope of colors and the shadows we cast along the walls. Halfway through, Eli asked if it would be strange for us to hold hands. My reply came in the form of taking his hand in mine and planting a kiss on each of his fingers.
All of the exhibits and shows were interesting, but we both enjoyed the Skywatch one best. Sitting in the quiet, dark auditorium and seeing the stars over Chicago while we held hands was an incredible experience. He told me he felt so small and insignificant in the grand scheme, and while I knew it to be true in a literal sense, it wasn’t how I felt with him. I gently pressed my lips to his and whispered that we were princes of the universe and could have whatever we wanted. He liked that.
Eli wanted to stop in the gift shop on our way out and kept coming back to a mug set that said, “To the Moon and Back.” We ended up going splits on them and agreed to keep them in our respective workplaces to commemorate our first date and to serve as reminders of each other when we couldn’t be together.
When Monday morning came, I read the instructions for that fancy-as-hell coffeemaker, brewed myself a cup, and used my brand-new mug, smiling all the while like the lovesick fool I was.
Seventeen
Eli
I wore a zip-up hoodie to work in an attempt to hide the hickies Bryan liked to leave on my neck so much. I couldn’t lie; I liked them too, but the amused looks from my colleagues made me extremely uncomfortable. I handled Eve’s playful ribbing, but having my other colleagues know what I was up to bothered me. I wanted Bryan all to myself and them knowing I had someone—even if they didn’t know it was him—felt too much like sharing. I didn’t know I was a greedy person, but then again, there were a lot of things I didn’t know about myself.
When I strolled into work the Monday after Bryan and I got together, I’d forgotten about the marks on my neck and sat down at my desk, completely oblivious to the curious looks. I had new marks on my neck and chest from after our date the other day.
There was always a battle over the thermostat in the wintertime, and it was cranked up to the max. After working for an hour, I began to sweat and mindlessly unzipped my sweater. Eve popped her head up and casually asked how my weekend went.
“It was really good. Bryan made me these yummy pancakes and took me to the planetarium on Saturday. We had a lot of fun.”
“Sure look it,” she replied with a knowing grin.
I furrowed my brow and tilted my head in question. “What?”
She motioned to her neck, and my face paled. I reached across the desk and grabbed her mirror, cringing when I saw the deep burgundy and purple marks on both sides of my neck. “Fucking hell,” I said as I zipped the sweater back up.
“No one cares about the marks, pet. They all know you’ve found someone; no need to hide them now.”
“Does everyone really know?” I looked around then lowered my voice and continued, “Do they know it’s Bryan? Some people might see that as a conflict of interest.”
She waved a hand to dismiss the notion. “No, no one knows who, and they know better than to ask. As for a conflict, everything started after the job was finished. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Try to relax and be happy. And maybe tell Bryan to keep his love bites to where the rest of the world can’t see,” she added with a wink.
Maybe I’d return the favor and let Mac tease him when we headed over for Thanksgiving dinner in a week. I was eager to spend a holiday with Bryan. We both had a long weekend we were looking forward to spending together in varying states of undress, as he’d worded it. I wondered if he’d want to have sex soon. It had only been a few weeks, but I could imagine that he had to want it. I could hear his voice in my head telling me that there were no rules, and I tried not to think about it. At least for a little while longer.
“Can I just say that I saw this coming? Back in August, no less. You two are so clueless,” Mac said with a rather triumphant smile in place.
Bryan shook his head and snorted from behind the kitchen counter as he put the finishing touches on our delicious-smelling Thanksgiving dinner. I sat at the kitchen table with Mac playing—and losing miserably—a game of cribbage. It was a new game to me, though the rules were simple enough. I hadn’t quite mastered the art of splitting my hand, but Bryan and Mac told me it came with time.
Bryan announced that dinner was ready and took our game board and cards away before I could get skunked, much to Mac’s displeasure. In a rare display, Mac was fully clothed, albeit in a tank and pajama bottoms. The game was replaced with three hot dishes holding shepherd’s pie, carved-up turkey meat, and oven-roasted Brussels sprouts. The gravy came over last with two bottles of red wine. Bryan took a seat between us, and we enjoyed a dinner full of great food, laughs, and Mac’s cheesy throwback party music.
One of Bryan’s brothers had called him a few days ago, asking if he’d be coming home for dinner, but he opted to spend it here with Mac and me. He said he might be home for Christmas if it was what we wanted to do. Being included in his decision-making like that was one of the little things that made our relationship feel different than how it previously was. We still watched movies on my couch more than anything, only now we got to do it in our underwear and without having to worry about whether we were revealing too much.
With dinner cleared away and my stomach so full I thought I might d
ie, Bryan brought over a gorgeous white frosted cake adorned with walnuts and maybe sprinkled cinnamon. I welcome death after tasting the first bite of what turned out to be carrot and pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting. I managed to contain myself, but Mac was uninhibited in making moans that bordered on pornographic.
Bryan suggested a game before he and I departed to go back to Prince, and Mac immediately jumped up and shouted, “Truth or drink.”
So we played truth or drink—but with half and quarter shots instead of full ones. I learned some pretty embarrassing things about Bryan, like that he used to let Mac’s little sister use him as a dress-up doll and attend tea parties—and there was photo evidence at Mac’s house. There was more truth-telling than drinking going on, which reminded me of how close they truly were and how thankful I was to be a part of that.
Mac drew his next card and grinned wolfishly at me. “This one’s for Eli. Describe in detail how you lost your virginity.” He flicked the card onto the discard pile and watched me with amusement in his eyes.
Dread crept through my body, making me go stiff. Before I could stop myself, I glanced over at Bryan and knew he noticed the change in me. I took a deep breath and tried for the illusion of acting casual.
“Um, fuck. I…” I wanted to drink the whole fucking bottle, but forgoing the answer would only draw attention to why I didn’t want to answer the question. “It was with an older woman,” I started. I told them a true story about how I was seduced by my boss in her office after work one evening. I followed the story with a full shot.
“An older woman—how spicy. Why were you so reluctant to say? Don’t tell me it was for Bryan’s sensibilities.” Mac’s tone was light, and he was completely unaware of what that simple question brought back for me.
“I, uh, was twenty-one when it happened.”
Princes of the Universe Page 16
