Jaxon (Blood Angel Chronicles Book 1)

by Jennifer Field

  “I can save her,” I choke out, not sure if I’ll be able to survive with her bound to me, yet mated to another man. I look Mason in the eyes, so he’s aware of what my saving her will mean for him. “Your mate will have an unbreakable blood-bond to me. I can’t help that, but she’ll live.”

  “She’s not my mate,” Mason mutters through tears, and I can barely understand the next words he says. “She’s my sister.”

  MAITLIN

  “Fuck,” I say as I stretch my arms above my head and slowly open my eyes. My lids still feel so heavy, but I blink them open a few times to look around. I don’t recognize the room, but the view— well, I’d know this view anyplace. This is Jaxon’s apartment at The Tower.

  “How do you feel?” I hear his deep voice through the darkness, and it does things to me, something I know no average person would be thinking after the ordeal we all just went through.

  But when he comes into view, I notice he looks about as tired and run-down as I feel. His usual polished, put-together three-piece suit look is gone, and in its place is a man who looks like he’s gone through hell and back. He has dark circles under his eyes, and his skin looks sallow and gray.

  “Strange, but good.” I sit up, which is a bit of an effort. My body is stiff. I roll my neck as I try to work the kinks out of my body. I meant it when I said I feel strange. I feel as if I’ve been in a coma for a month. My mind is foggy, and I feel off. “How long have I been out?”

  “Just over a week.”

  “A week!” I yell. “How the hell have I been out a week? Was I in the hospital? How did I get here?” I look at Jaxon for answers. It isn’t possible for me to have been here for a week without an IV, a team of doctors, or… “I don’t understand. How have I been here a week?”

  I hear him take a deep sigh and run his hand through his already disheveled hair. When he sits on the edge of the bed, he takes my hand in his. “What’s the last thing you remember?”

  I try to reach into the deepest part of my mind, searching for the last thing I remember. I shake my head. Everything that’s coming back is all just so horrible. “I remember being dragged by Dannella. She had a knife to my throat.” My hand comes up and rubs along my neck, feeling for a wound or...something. “And then a gunshot.”

  My voice is tired as I speak, but the memories of that night are flooding my brain. And then I remember the white blur of fur. “Where’s Ridge?”

  Jaxon moves closer to me on the bed, and I see his eyes drop his answer, weighing on him. “Ridge…” He closes his eyes and shakes his head.

  My hand flies up to cover my mouth. “Oh, God, no.” I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. In the short time I knew him, he became my friend. “I know he didn’t mean…” My words trail off through the wave of tears. “He might have helped them. But he was just…” I search for the right words to warrant his previous actions. “He was just lost. But he was a good man.”

  “We know. He’s the reason we found you.”

  I push myself up and touch my neck, remembering Dannella pulling me, the feel of the knife cutting into my flesh, Jaxon’s blood-covered face pleading with her to let me go. “And you, were you hurt? I remember seeing you covered in blood.”

  When he lifts his hand and runs his finger down my cheek, wiping away the tears that escaped, I find myself leaning into his touch. “I wasn’t hurt. But I nearly died seeing you bleeding, gasping for breath. It ripped my heart out.”

  “You killed her?” I choke out, emotions just now starting to rush through me as I remember everything that happened. “I’m so confused.”

  He leans in and kisses my forehead. It’s tender and… and almost loving.

  Jaxon clears his throat, looking uncomfortable as he fidgets. “We’ll talk about everything, and I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

  I can only imagine what he must be going through. Finally, he gets up and starts to walk to the door. “Mason and Leif are here to see you as well as Shellie and Kap. I’ll go get them.”

  I watch him walk to the door, and it’s then I realize he isn’t wearing his usual suit, but a perfectly fitting pair of jeans and a gray t-shirt that looks like it is painted over his muscles. Even in the dim glow from the city lights coming in through the windows, I can see his tattoos down both arms and the flex of his muscles as he clenches his fists.

  It isn’t until he opens the door to the bedroom that I see Mason. He looks just as tired, sad, and almost as lost as Jaxon. It hits me that these men who had been through so much to save me were probably here this entire week. Jaxon pats him on the shoulder as he passes, and I hear him tell Mason that I have a lot of questions.

  My legs are over the side of the bed, and I don’t care that all I’m wearing is a long black t-shirt that just about hits my knees. I’m up and practically running to Mason before he has a chance to tell me to get back in bed and rest. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him so tightly I think I hear his ribs crack.

  “I’m so sorry about Ridge.” The tears that stopped only moments before are coming back with a vengeance. “He was such a good man, and I’m glad I had a chance to get to know him.”

  I feel his arms wrap around me and hold me tight. “If I had lost you too,” he chokes up and hugs me tighter, kissing the top of my head. I’m a bit confused about his words, but he did just lose his brother, and emotions all around are running high.

  “He told me about Ryver, and I hope he’s happy and running through a snow-covered field with her right now.” My voice cracks as I think about how heartbroken Ridge sounded when he spoke of losing his mate and unborn child.

  Mason pulls back, keeping me at arm's length and gives me a quizzical look. “How much did Ridge tell you?”

  “Not as much as he showed me. He was so beautiful.” Tears again run down my cheeks. I wipe them away and smile up at him. “It was you, wasn’t it? It wasn’t a dream. You shifted, and were a snow-leopard the day you saved me from Neil, weren’t you?”

  “Yes,”

  I ask the only thing I can, “How is any of this possible? I feel…I feel like I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole.” And I do. Thinking about shifters and whatever the hell else had attacked the other night.

  Letting out a low laugh, he pulls me back into him. “You two are so much alike, and I wish you could have gotten to know him better.”

  There's a knock on the bedroom door a moment before Leif steps in. “Hey,” he says tentatively. “Can I come in?”

  “Of course.”

  Leif comes over, grabbing me into a bear hug. He lifts me and spins me around. When finally puts me down, after my begging him to stop, he has a look of pure joy strewn across his face. “Man you had us worried there for a while. Jaxon just about went out of…”

  His words trail off when Mason gives him a low, menacing growl. It’s certainly going to take a bit of getting used to the animalistic nature of these two.

  “Did you tell her?” The excitement in Leif’s voice is nothing short of a kid on Christmas. He’s nearly jumping up and down in anticipation of Mason's answer.

  “Tell me what?” God, I’m not sure I can take to many more surprises.

  “Why don’t we sit down for a few minutes?”

  I’m glad Jaxon's bedroom is large and has a sitting area over in one corner that looks out over the park. It would be odd to have these two sitting on the bed with me.

  Leif and Mason take the two seats across from me. Leif is a ball of nervous energy. I watch as his knee bounces almost uncontrollably as he looks back and forth between his brother and myself.

  I tuck my legs up under me and pull the t-shirt over my knees and feet. I can only assume the tee belongs to Jaxon, and the thought has me bringing the neck up to my nose and inhaling. I can smell his masculine scent just faintly, but it somehow gives me comfort.

  “So, what else is there to tell me?”

  “What do you know about…your father?” Mason asks.

  A laugh escapes me at th
e odd line of questioning. “My father? Why?”

  Mason leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. “Humor me. What do you know about your dad?”

  I shrug. “Not much. He died just after I was born, and my mother remarried when I was under two. My dad is an amazing and loving parent.”

  “I’m sure your dad is an amazing man. He’d have to be to raise such a strong woman. But the man who gave you half your DNA is the same person who is father to myself, Leif and… and Ridge, who you also shared a mother with.”

  My head is shaking and I’m up, calling for Jaxon before I even know what's happening. “No, that’s not possible. My father died. And I can’t… I’m not like you.”

  Jaxon is by my side as I stand to looking over at… Well, If Mason is telling the truth—and I can’t think of a reason he isn’t— my brothers.

  “Did you know?” I plead with Jaxon, and when he takes a moment too long to answer, I ask again. “Did you?”

  His large hands come up to cup my face while I look into his amazing green eyes. “I thought you were his mate.” His thumb brushes away a lone tear that streaks down my cheek. “I didn’t know until you were lying in Mason's arms dying that you are his sister. I would do anything to save you, even thinking you were going to be his.”

  I feel his lips brush against mine, soft and tender, and I pull him in for a deeper kiss before I hear Mason clear his throat.

  “Sorry,” I say, nearly breathless. The sexual pull between us was strong since the moment we met. But now it would seem I can barely hold myself back.

  When he kisses my lips again, it’s with the heat of a promise of things to come. “Talk with Mason and Leif. They are your brothers.”

  “I know,” I say, unsure of just how I know. But, deep in my soul, I know Jaxon’s telling the truth. I’m just so unsure how it’s possible. I look over at Mason, a man I hardly know, and Leif, who was my friend since I came to New York, and I’m sure in my heart that they’re my family.

  When I sit down again, Jaxon is by my side, sitting casually on the arm of the chair, holding my hand in his lap. I still don’t know where we stand, or if I should even be concerned about there being a we. But, whatever it is, I like the way it makes me feel—warm and protected as if nothing can ever harm me.

  Taking a deep breath in, I look across at Mason and Leif, and when I see them now, it's through fresh eyes. “Okay, lay it on me. How is any of this possible? How are we siblings?”

  Mason clears his throat, and despite looking as if he may vomit, he starts talking. “Our father is our Pride’s leader and its Alpha. With that, he was expected to have many children to carry on the bloodline. One of his mates was Ridge’s and your mother. When you were born about a year after Ridge, our father was ecstatic to have a daughter. The females of our species carry the strongest lines.”

  I almost interrupt him but stop myself. How can I be the daughter of a Pride leader? I don’t carry any traits. And my mother—she wasn’t a snow-leopard, she was a science teacher at my high school.

  Mason must notice the look of confusion on my face because he stops, waiting for me to ask the most obvious question. “So, my mother?”

  He nods his head in confirmation. “She is like Leif and me. She can shift.”

  “But I’m not… I’m just me.”

  A look of profound sadness covers his face, and I want to get up and hug him, but he goes on. “Our species is dying off. Your mother studied science, genetics to be specific. She was trying to figure out why more and more children were being born no longer possessing the ability to shift. When you were about a year, she left the Pride to give you a normal life.”

  I find myself torn between anger and sadness for my mother. She must have been so scared, leaving her home and her family. She was only twenty-two when I was born, so she left everything she had ever known at twenty-three.

  “I have to call my mom,” I say on a sigh. It isn’t until I feel Jaxon’s hand against my back, rubbing small circles that I realize how overwhelmed I am with all this information. “I guess my mom and I are going to have a lot to talk about when I go home this Christmas.”

  I see a look pass between Mason and Jaxon. I’m not sure what it is, but I can feel the tension in the room increase. I feel as if I’m the only one in the room who is not in on the secret.

  “What am I missing, besides everything?” I look between the three that seem to be harboring some secret, besides the fact that we are shifters.

  Leif looks as if he can barely keep the secret to himself. “Leif?” I ask.

  Leif bolts up as if the seat has suddenly caught on fire. “I have a shift at…” He glances at his wrist with a non-existent watch. “Oh, look at the time, right now.” He leans over and kisses my forehead. “I’ll talk to you later, and just so you’re aware, I’m not going to cover your shifts forever, even if you are my sister now. So, rest up.”

  “Are you doing okay?” Jaxon asks.

  I let out a deep sigh. “That’s a really great question. I think so.” I look over at Mason, who is getting up to follow Leif out.

  “I should go to. I’ll stop back over in a few days.” He leans over and kisses my forehead. Turning to Jaxon, he adds, “A week ago, he would have punched me for even attempting to get near you, never mind giving you a kiss goodbye.”

  “I still may so don’t push your luck,” Jaxon sneers, but there is a hint of playfulness to his usual gruff tone.

  “I’ll be right back,” Jaxon practically coos. “I’m just going to show these guys out.”

  Once I hear the door to the bedroom shut, I jump up and make my way to the en-suite. I’m terrified to look in the mirror. If I indeed was in bed for over a week, I must look frightening.

  I am standing in Jaxon’s enormous bathroom, which looks more like a spa than a bath, looking into the mirror. I expect to see the swamp-thing looking back at me, but I look…

  “Fuck me, you look great,” I say to my reflection. And I do. I’ve never looked so well-rested. My skin has a healthy glow to it, and I swear I look younger.

  “I’d be happy to.” I hear Jaxon’s deep voice from behind me. Our gazes meet in the mirror, and I smile at the devilish look he has on his face.

  “You’d be happy to what?”

  “Fuck you.”

  I feel my body react to his lewd statement, but the last thing I want is for him to up and leave again. I don’t need some life-long commitment from him, but not running out the door is a good start.

  “Why did you punch Mason a week ago for being near me?” I want to think I know the answer, but I still want him to say it, not only to me but to himself.

  He moves to stand behind me. He’s so close I can feel the heat of his body against my back, and when he places his hands on my hips pulling me closer, I let him. When I gaze up at our reflection, I like the way we look together.

  When he brushes my hair to the side, my skin and body instantly react to his touch. I feel the heat between my legs, and I can see the hard peaks of my nipples under the t-shirt. I lean my head to the side and shudder when Jaxon's lips caress and kiss the sensitive skin of my neck.

  “Jaxon,” I whisper, my voice breathless. “Tell me why,” I demand, though I don’t know that I can stop if he doesn’t answer.

  “Because you’re mine,” he practically growls out. “You’ve been mine since the first moment I laid eyes on you.”

  I spin around to face him, our bodies tight together. I cup his face in my hands. He’s so handsome, yet so broken, and there is a sadness in his eyes that never seems to disappear. I know the other question nagging at me. I have to ask, but I’m not afraid of his answer, not anymore.

  Now, I need to know that I’m not going crazy.

  That everything I’ve seen heard and felt is real. I swallow down the trepidation building in my chest and blurt out my question. “What are you Jaxon? I need to know.”

  His eyes grow dark, the clouds of his internal sadness rolling in. For
a moment, I’m afraid I’m going to lose him again. That he’ll turn and leave me standing here alone, wondering what I did to push him away.

  But when he pulls me in tighter, resting his forehead against mine, and lets out a deep sigh, I hold my breath and wait.

  “I’m a monster.”

  JAXON

  I have nothing left to lose, and when she asks what I am, I tell her the only truth I can. I’m a monster. There is no other explanation. I am the thing of nightmares, and there isn’t anything I can do to change that. I’ve fought wars and watched friends and enemies die at my feet, and never once did I feel fear.

  But I stand here now with fear in my soul, unable to pull away, petrified that if I do, I’ll never feel her in my arms again. I’m not too much of a man, or too big of an asshole to admit that I’m scared if I show her the real me, she’ll run.

  “I don’t think you’re a monster, Jaxon,” she whispers faintly, and then I hear her voice crack. “Show me, please.”

  Our foreheads haven’t separated. There’s something about resting my head against hers that's so intimate, so freeing. “I don’t want to frighten you away.”

  “You can never.”

  I pull back, keeping her at arm's length, my mind made up. If she’s going to see me for what I am, then she’s going to see all of me, the way Themis damned me to be.

  I pull my t-shirt over my head and smirk as I watch her pupils dilate at the sight of my bare chest. My nostrils flare at the scent of her arousal, and I debate just spinning her around and sliding into her. But she deserves the truth of who I am, especially since we share an unbreakable bond through my blood.

  “I thought you were trying to scare me, not turn me on,” she teases.

  I watch as she reaches for the hem of the shirt she’s wearing. My shirt, the one I put her in, and fuck, she looks good in it. It takes everything in me to tell her to stop because as good as she looks in it, out of it, she looks a hell of a lot better.