by Aja James
Whereas, Mama was…different.
“Titi, if I find you before the count of ten, you will have to clean the chicken coup on the morrow,” Papa said in a slightly teasing, slightly growly tone.
Titi didn’t mind doing chores, but cleaning the chicken coup was one of her least favorite. The feathers and the droppings, ugh! The smell was atrocious.
She tucked her small body between the wall of the hut and the largest bush, hoping she could hold out until discovery to eleven counts. For good measure, she held her breath too and squeezed her eyes shut. Maybe if she couldn’t see Papa, he wouldn’t be able to see her either.
One…two…three…
Something furry swiped across her nose, making her scrunch up and sneeze.
When she opened her eyes, she stared into the familiar violet gaze of a spotted leopard cub, its muzzle spread in a feline grin, the long, thick-furred tail undulating in a teasing taunt.
She squealed in delight at being caught just as the kitten butted its forehead into her chest, tickling her, then licked a scratchy strip up the side of her face.
“Papa! No fair!”
She wrestled with the leopard cub as it pounced around her and on top of her, pressing on her funny bones, stealing kitty kisses everywhere her skin was bare, purring and growling as she shrieked with laughter.
“It’s time to come inside.”
They both stopped playing at the sound of Mama’s voice, drifting to them softly but sternly from inside the hut.
In a blink, the leopard cub transformed into her big, tall, tawny-haired Papa, who swung Titi up onto his hip, carrying her inside.
“She is too old to be held like that,” Mama murmured when she glanced at the two of them as they entered, before turning back to the hearth to ladle stew from the stone pot into bowls.
“She is only four summers, love,” Papa said in his deep, soothing voice, setting Titi down on her stool at the small table.
“You coddle her.”
“It pleases me to do so,” Papa returned easily, wrapping his arms around Mama from behind.
“Just as it pleases me to coddle you.”
He kissed the side of her neck and leaned into her, making her sigh with contentment, her shoulders visibly loosening, her spine less stiff.
Papa wielded magic, Titi was certain. He made everything and everyone better. Even Mama.
Prickly, stern, sometimes scary Mama.
Papa carried two bowls full of stew to the table and sat down, and Mama did the same. As they began to eat, Titi looked at Mama, while Mama looked at Papa.
Mama always looked at Papa. She hardly ever noticed Titi. When she did, it was almost always because Titi was with Papa.
Mama was beautiful too, in Titi’s eyes. And perhaps in other people’s eyes as well. She had long, straight black hair past her waist, shiny like a raven’s wing. Pale, flawless skin. A full, red mouth.
But it was her eyes that both captivated and frightened Titi. So dark they were almost black. Glittering with…something.
On the rare occasions that Mama got angry, they glowed red in the centers like a throbbing wound. Titi had only ever seen this when Mama watched other people interact with Papa, when they smiled too brightly or came too close to Papa. Mama didn’t like it. She wanted Papa all to herself.
Titi could tell.
Whereas, Titi felt like Papa’s Gift of light and joy should be shared with as many people as possible. His presence made everything better. He made people want to be the best of themselves. Titi wanted to grow up to be just like him.
Mama and Papa chatted softly, while Titi ate her stew and watched them with contentment. Mama was even more beautiful when she was with Papa. She smiled more, talked more. Sometimes, her cheeks would tint with pink when Papa looked at her a certain way.
Titi loved this version of Mama.
“She is growing to look more like you everyday,” Papa said, bringing Titi’s attention to him.
He winked at her and smiled, making Titi grin helplessly back at him.
“That dark hair, those beautiful eyes. My girls. My loves.”
“I wish she looked more like you,” Mama said, turning her gaze briefly to Titi before looking back at her Mate.
“I wonder if she will have your Gift.”
“Hmm,” Papa murmured, “I don’t sense the Animal Spirit within her. Our Titi is simply and perfectly a little girl.”
Titi wished she could be a leopard like Papa. She prayed an Animal Spirit would see fit to merge with her soul, that she would grow into such a Gift. But, alas, she was indeed just a girl. A Pure One, certainly, with Mama and Papa both being Immortals, but nothing special beyond that, not like Papa.
“I don’t mean that,” Mama said. “Though that would have been nice. I mean your Gift of Light. She does not make me feel the way you make me feel…”
“I should hope not,” Papa rumbled low, looking at Mama in that way.
Immediately, she blushed prettily, to Titi’s delight. She loved seeing this soft side of Mama.
“You know what I mean,” Mama murmured, casting a look at Papa beneath her long, black lashes.
He smiled and wrapped his large hand over Mama’s much smaller one on top of the table.
“I do know. And she does have the Gift. One day, I have no doubt that our daughter’s Gift will be more powerful than mine ever was. It is her namesake, after all.”
Mama looked at Titi again, and this time, her gaze stayed and held. Dark and glittering.
“Yes. Her name. Do you think she will live up to it?”
Papa looked at Titi as well, his eyes warm and lit with joy.
“She already embodies it, my love,” Papa said.
“Ninti—Lady of Life and Light.”
*** *** *** ***
Sophia came awake with a gasp.
Those memories…they’d never come to her so clearly before.
Since her Awakening, she’d known that she was once the Pure Queen Ninti. She’d fought alongside the General, Tal-Telal. Together, their rebels overthrew the most powerful Dark Queen that ever ruled, Ashlu Da-ni-gal.
But she hadn’t recalled Before.
Before she joined the rebellion.
Before she met Tal-Telal.
In fact, she was the one who recruited him. She’d seen his strength, his innate and unassailable goodness. It was much more than physical, though he’d been—was—a mighty warrior, even more so now that he’d grown into his new Gift, despite his blindness. It had been Tal’s determination, conviction and purity of heart and soul that sealed his fate.
No other could have done what he had. Made the sacrifices he’d made.
Sophia knew now, as she’d known then, that despite her heart’s torment for having doomed him to his path by choosing him to lead the Pure rebels, she would not have chosen differently.
There was a hardness at her core. She loved. She hated. She could sacrifice herself for the greater good, but she also didn’t hesitate to sacrifice others.
The Sophia before her Awakening would have regretted. She would have wondered if she could have spared Tal the millennia of untold suffering. Scars and wounds he still bore, both on the outside and deep within.
She could see the colors of his soul, after all. Even though it burned beautifully bright, there would always be darkness now, within the flames.
Yes, Sophia knew her own ruthlessness. She was equal parts darkness and light.
As Ninti, she’d been her best self, just as her papa would have wished.
As Kira…
Somehow, these memories mattered. She hadn’t pieced all of the puzzle together, but she knew they mattered.
Careful not to disturb Dalair, she disentangled herself from his body. Efficiently, she covered his nakedness with a light sheet and dressed, keeping her eyes on him the entire time.
He’d regained his natural color, his skin back to golden bronze, glowing with vitality. He appeared to be healing fast. Her actions had w
orked.
Would he recall what… happened… between them when he awoke? What would he be like when he regained consciousness? Would she see the colors of his soul reemerging or would his aura remain frozen like impenetrable black ice?
She loathed to leave him; she wanted to spend every moment, waking or sleeping, with him. But she needed answers.
Thus, with one last lingering glance, she left the healing enclosure in search of Eveline.
The Seer was where Sophia expected her to be—surrounded by ancient tomes and scrolls in the Pure Ones’ library. She was not alone. Seth, Jade, Inanna, Tal, and Benji appeared to be helping her sort through the various texts.
Well, the adults were helping. Benji was sitting in a corner by one of the floor-to-ceiling shelves reading.
“Oh good, you’re here,” Eveline said when she glanced up and saw Sophia’s approach. “I was about to have you fetched.”
“You’ve discovered a clue already?” Sophia queried with cautious optimism, coming to stand beside the large oak table where the others were gathered, every square inch of the polished top covered with books, loose parchment and scrolls.
“Not so much discovered as rediscovered,” Eveline said cryptically. “I feel like we’re coming full circle. Retracing steps that were taken before. The only difference is that this time, my interpretation is different.”
“Explain,” Sophia commanded.
Everyone looked at her with the same expression—a mix of, surprise, wryness and admiration.
“What?” she asked, impatient with their hesitation.
It was Seth who spoke. “You have finally come into your own, Sophia. You are you, and you are our queen.”
Sophia quirked her lips in acknowledgement. “Is that your way of telling me I’m being a bossy little shit, Seth?”
Jade chuckled a melodious laugh while the Consul’s eyes crinkled at the corners in a sheepish smile.
“Spoken like a badass queen,” Jade congratulated in her sultry contralto.
“I learn from the baddest of all,” Sophia returned, sharing a look with the ex-vampire queen.
After Queen Ashlu, Jade Cicada was widely known as the greatest Dark Queen of her time, though her tenure in the role had been only a few hundred years to Ashlu’s three millennia. And she’d had dominion over one of many Hives, the New England territories, while Ashlu reigned supreme over all living creatures on earth.
But Jade ruled during a much more complex, modern age, when the existence of Immortals was secret, and humans overran the world with machines, technology and the magic of science. As such, her ability to keep the Balance between races, diffuse civil strife among her own Kind, and maintain the secrecy of Immortals was downright remarkable.
Now, that honor (or headache, as Jade often smirked) belonged to Alend Ramses.
“All this mutual admiration is making me jealous,” Eveline broke in. “Let’s focus on the matter at hand, shall we?”
The placid librarian was probably never going to win any badass awards, but Sophia had always sensed that there was more to Eveline than met the eye. And since she became Ramses’…something, someone of utmost importance to the first-ever Dark King, that fiery spark blazed ever brighter within the tiny Seer.
“What have you got?”
Eveline unrolled one of the partially open rolls nearest to her and held it flat at the bottom while Seth pressed it down at the top.
“I don’t know if I told all of you about the prophecy I gleaned from the Orb years ago when the violence and chaos first started to escalate. Orion and I compared notes from the Zodiac Prophesies and Scrolls. I thought that the lines had been about Rain and Valerius, but now I wonder if they meant more.”
“Tell me,” Sophia urged.
Eveline began to read the words the late Scribe had recorded in ancient Sumerian symbols: “Upon her choice, the future rests. To welcome the Darkness or create a New Light, only her heart can show the rest.”
Involuntarily, Sophia’s heart began to pound. Harder and harder as Eveline spoke each syllable.
These words were meant for her, she was sure of it! But what did they mean? What choice must she make?
Just moments ago she wondered whether she made the wrong choice with Tal-Telal, when she’d been Ninti. She’d made many other choices since then. So many.
But the one other choice that plagued her—the only other lifetime that devastated her—was when she made the choice to marry the wrong Persian Prince as Kira.
“And here is the rest: With his surrender, the sacrifice is made. Death is near and Darkness surrounds, as the race’s Adversary raises its blade.”
Surrender?
Sophia’s heart thundered so loudly she thought everyone must be able to hear it.
Could the lines refer to when Dalair had sacrificed himself to save her when she was Kira? Or when he surrendered his body, heart and soul to her during the two nights that they’d pretended they were different people, in different circumstances? When she’d loved him with everything she had, everything she was.
But he never knew. She’d been too much of a coward to tell him clearly.
She’d broken his heart that first night. She saw it in his eyes the next morning. She saw his miscomprehension, self-loathing, perhaps even a kind of hate for her as well.
She’d chased after him as she always did. A married woman shamelessly coveting her husband’s brother. But when they were alone together, in the light of day, she still couldn’t tell him.
She told herself it was to protect him. No one could know about them. There were spies and enemies everywhere. So many reasons to keep her secret…
But the real reason she hadn’t told him the truth, once and for all, was cowardice: She didn’t know if he loved her back.
They hadn’t had much time together before a gulf of ten long years divided them. After she married Cambyses, he disappeared. Went away to war and fought a bloody path up the military ranks. They lived separate lives.
They were never meant to be together.
She’d not had one single word from him in all that time. Desperately, she soaked up bits of news from Cambyses and Dalair’s mother, Vashti. She tried to be a good wife; it was her duty. And she happened to like her husband. Even love him.
Just not the way a woman loved a man.
She couldn’t know how Dalair felt when she saw him again. A mighty warrior. A hard man. She didn’t realize that when she gave herself fully to his love making, abetted and welcomed their betrayal of Cambyses, he’d given her his heart as well.
His heart. His pride. His body. His tortured soul.
And ultimately, his life.
She didn’t know…Not then, when she was in the midst of it all. Only later, when it was too late, did she realize her folly. What she’d done to avenge him…the unquenchable hatred and fury she felt toward the world at large, including herself.
Her cowardly, miserable, useless self.
“Sophia, snap out of it!”
“Sophie, don’t go into the dark place!”
It was Benji’s voice and small arms wrapping around her waist, golden head butting into her sternum, that pulled Sophia out of her own head.
She blinked and tried to focus on his angelic face. Those topaz blue eyes that shone with an inner light, as if there were rays of sun trapped within them.
“You’re my guardian angel, you know that, Benji?” she whispered so that only he could hear, her voice husky with emotion.
That was a damned close call.
“That’s why my name is Benjamin Larkin D’Angelo,” he returned in a much louder whisper. “Daddy told me. My middle name means Brave Warrior. Silent and fierce. I’m your warrior angel, Sophie.”
She grinned, ruffling his haphazard tumble of buttery curls.
“Maybe not the silent part.”
The boy shrugged as if to say, nobody’s perfect.
But in Sophia’s view, Benji was absolute perfection. She wanted to bottle
up his bright light and carry it with her forever. Benji always chased the darkness away.
“I guess your reaction means that those lines from the Zodiac Prophesies struck a chord with you?” Eveline brought their attention back to the issue at hand.
Sophia gave a weak nod.
Striking a chord was putting it mildly.
“Well, hang on to those thoughts because I have more.”
“Maybe I ought to sit with you, Sophie,” Benji volunteered, tugging on Sophia’s hand until they both sat around the oak table, and the others took their seats as well.
Yes, this seemed civilized, Sophia thought. Sitting placidly around a table in the library, floating theories from ancient texts that could provide the clues either to destroy or save the world as they knew it.
No biggie.
“What more?” she asked, her muscles tensing in anticipation.
The Sophia before her Awakening would have believed that ignorance was bliss. What you didn’t know wouldn’t hurt you. But the Sophia she was now, with all of her hard-won wisdom, knew that ignorance was dangerous.
You couldn’t prepare for the threats that would come. Perhaps Destiny would make it so that you couldn’t avoid your fate even if you tried; that’s why they called it Destiny. But if you knew enough, maybe you could fight it, change it, bend it to your will.
Sophia didn’t want to know; she needed to know. Too much was at stake to stay willfully ignorant.
“Given the repeated reference to Light and Darkness, sacrifice and surrender, I cross-referenced those and similar concepts in both the Zodiac and Ecliptic Scrolls,” Eveline said. “It’s much easier now that I have virtualized most of the Cove’s library.”
“You’ve been busy,” Seth noted with admiration.
“It’s my job,” Eveline brushed the compliment aside. “I’ve only begun to do the same with the Shield’s archives, so your help today is much needed and appreciated.”
“I should help too,” Sophia said.
She was good at research, and almost as adept with languages, ancient scripts included, as Eveline was.
“You have other priorities,” Jade reminded her with a knowing twinkle in her eye.
Sophia ducked her head as heat suffused her cheeks.
