“River.”
“Can we not talk about this right now?”
I move my hand from hers and lean back against the windshield to look up into the evening sky. I’m being shut down. Again. Great.
“I just want to enjoy this with you. I’m tired of every time we’re together we have to be thinking about him. It always kills the fucking mood. He’s already ruined so much of everything else for me and for us. I need to focus on what makes me happy, what keeps me going right now, and that’s you. It’s always been you.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
“I guess I need to say it more.” She frowns and scoots to lean against the windshield next to me. Both of us glance up to the night sky that’s lit by the city and airport lights. There’s a silent tension boiling between us and it’s not what I want. It’s not what she needs.
I grab her hand and place it to my lips. “I’m trying.”
“Hmm?” she hums and turns to glance at me.
“I’m trying to do…” I pause, not sure how to say what I need to say, but that I want to make this work.
“Oh.” She nods, a small smile creasing her lips. “I know. I know you are, we’ll get through this,” she finishes for me, placing her hand over mine
“How do you know what I was going to say?”
“Because we might have not been together for two years, but I still know you. I can read you and after what happened earlier; it’s kind of easy to guess too. You’re trying to make this work, but there’s still a hundred bumps we have to get over?” She grins slyly.
“Yeah. You hit the nail.”
“I’m trying too. But I’m scared,” she admits.
“Of me?”
“No.”
I leave it at that and pull her down to me. She cuddles into my side and rests her head on my chest. I want to be able to take away all the fear that clouds her mind and be the one that makes every day worth waking up for. I want to hold onto her because losing her again isn’t an option. This girl is under my skin. Hell, she’s etched in my skin. I love her, and no matter how much I fought it, I never stopped.
The air is quiet, and I listen to the sound of her breathing. I count each breath as I brush her hair back, and it’s not long before she's fast asleep.
The sound of a jet engine flying over us wouldn't wake her now. My ass is already sore, but I could spend the rest of the night with her here if she kept sleeping peacefully like this. I’ll take every moment I have with her because the reality that still fights in my brain, the one I refuse to face, is I know I might have to let her go.
CHAPTER TWELVE
RIVER
With fresh papers off the printer clenched in my hand, I head to Harry’s office to give them to him. He wanted me to bring him the new quarterly stock reports because he’s incapable of doing, well, anything. I push the door open to his office, letting myself in. Harry despises when I come into his space without being announced, but I am his fiancée and CEO after all, so I use the little power I have to push his buttons.
As I step over the threshold into the devil’s prodigy’s lair, my mouth opens to announce myself, but before I can get a syllable out, Harry’s angry voice rings through the room.
"Motherfuckers," he roars as he sends the papers on his desk flying in his rage.
I should back out of his office and leave, but there's something satisfying about watching him throw a tantrum.
"Is everything okay?" I chirp with added perkiness, letting my presence be known and to piss off Harry more in his already agitated state.
He spins to glare at me, his brown eyes heating like lasers as they try to shoot me down. I've seen this asshole mad a hundred times, sure, but this is a whole other level. This is his self-destruction.
I’m digging it.
"No. Everything is not okay, princess. I was fucking shut down. Again," he yells, lifting the glass pyramid paperweight (that I got for him as an engagement gift because father said Harry needed a gift), from his desk and slams it to the ground. It thuds on impact but doesn't crack. Which pisses him off more, but I’m positively gleeful nothing is going his way.
I'm finding it hard to keep my composure.
"Why the fuck do these people only want you? You? I don't understand," he seethes out bitterly, and I shrug.
"I don't know."
"Of course, you don't, you never know anything. What the fuck do you want?”
"I just came by to drop off those quarterly reports you begged for." I offer the papers and he snatches them from my hand.
"You think you're cute right now." I don't say anything, but inside I’m still laughing. "You won't be when your father gets back."
"Won't he be mad at you for not lining up investors, not me?" I tilt my head.
"Just get out of my fucking sight. The only good thing about your dad not being around is I don't have to see or deal with your face more than I have to."
Ditto.
“I was just doing what you wanted, honey,” I bite out sarcastically. "I’ll see you later.” I turn around to head for the door as his nameplate goes flying for my head. It nearly grazes my cheek and I feel the breeze from it. I turn around and glare at him. “Are you serious?”
“Just get out of my face, River.”
I bend down and pick up the nameplate, tempted to throw it back at him. He senses it, his brown eyes mocking me to do it. Instead, I drop it back to the ground and he smirks. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
“I do, but the thing is, I’m not like you and eye for an eye doesn’t serve me well. Have a good day, Harry.” I spit out the last words and leave the office.
I’ll get my justice when Harry and my father are behind bars, and I can finally sleep in peace.
After the nameplate went flying at my head this afternoon, I told Luna I was taking the rest of the day off. She canceled my meetings and I disappeared. Call it running, but I didn’t want to deal with anything Dolson Investments. Knowing Harry, he’d circle back to me when the next thing went wrong and find a way to blame me.
So, I went to a place where I found peace. Where in the last couple of weeks I’ve come to call home because it has all the makings of a happy one. Jaxson’s apartment.
Every time I’m here, I’m wrapped in the memories of our past and the possibility of a future. It’s safe here. I’m okay here and it’s hard to think of letting go of this space.
Since Jaxson is always, and I do mean always, cooking me meals when we are together, I thought it would be my chance to whip him up something special. I’m nowhere in the league of his culinary skills, but I do make a mean chicken parmesan. I’m placing it in the oven when the front door creaks open and slams close.
“Hey,” I call out as Jaxson slips off his gray suit jacket and swings it over the couch.
“Hey, I've been wondering where you've been,” he says, walking over to me, losing the tie from around his neck.
The man always looks edible as he strips from his suit; going from the proper businessman to my bad boy, tatted, husband. His eyes glaze over lusty and dangerous as they roam over my body, and I know that I'm in for it.
"I escaped early. Harry was on the warpath, and I wasn't dealing with it. And I wanted to do something nice for you since you have been doing so much for me," I tell him, pointing to the disaster I made in his kitchen. He smiles and places his hands on my shoulders and slowly works them down my body.
"There's no better sight than you barefoot in my kitchen, but you know what could make this better?"
I shake my head, momentarily woozy at the thought he might say if I was barefoot and pregnant. There's nothing more I want than one day—a ways down the road—to have this man’s kids. We were talking about when we would before shit hit the fan, but babies do scare me.
They're cute and all, and I know I would love my own, but they're so fragile and impressionable. I worry about messing them up. Not being able to handle them. "What?" I say breathlessly at the darkeni
ng look in his eyes.
He laughs and puts his hand around my neck, tilting it back, and peppers kisses along my jaw. "You naked."
I should've known.
His hand moves up my flowy dress and his fingers hook in the thin fabric of my thong, pushing it aside. "I've been thinking about your wet pussy all day," he murmurs, and slides two fingers inside of me, making me gasp.
"The feeling is mutual because I've been thinking about your giant cock," I moan out as his fingers pump in and out of me, and he sucks on my ear.
"How long till dinners ready?"
"Dinner?" I answer breathlessly, wondering why he's thinking about food at a time like this.
His eyes dart over my shoulder to the stove and it clicks. How easily he makes me forget the world around me. "Oh, forty-five minutes?”
"Good, plenty of time to do what I want to do to you."
"That's not fair. I came home early to spoil you." My hands land on his black leather belt and I unhook it, dying to get him out of his slacks. "I think it's fair that I get to have you first."
He smirks. "Well, it would be in poor taste to argue with my wife."
His fingers slide out of me and he grips my shoulders, pushing me down to my knees on the cool tile.
"First, taste yourself, baby." He shoves his fingers in my mouth, and I moan sucking my salty juices off his fingers. "Good, right?" I nod.
“But I like the taste of your cock better.”
“Fuck, baby. Then it’s all yours.”
He undoes the button on his slacks and pushes them down to his ankles. I grab the hem of his boxers and yank them down, freeing his cock.
I waste no time taking him down my throat and cup his balls in my hand, just the way he likes as my head bobs up and down. “That’s my girl,” he groans, gripping the back of my head, pushing me down further, letting his pre-cum drip down the back of my throat. I hum my delight at his salty goodness and roll my tongue around his shaft wanting to savor him.
“Fuck, Rivs.” My eyes dart up to Jaxson to take in his lustful gaze as I pull him deeper, letting him hit my tonsils as if I was trying to swallow him whole.
“That’s enough,” Jaxson growls and lifts me by my hair. My mouth slides off his cock with a pop and I stand. “As much as I want to come down your throat, I want to come deep inside your tight cunt.”
He lifts me in his arms and places me on top of the cool wood of the kitchen table. “This has to go.” He grabs my dress and bunches it up, pulling it up over my hips and then over my head. He tosses it to the ground and then grabs the strings of my thong, yanking them down my legs and onto the floor.
“What about your shirt?”
He undoes the buttons of his white button-up, and my mouth waters as he reveals his perfectly sculpted, tattooed chest. I place my hand over my tattoo on his collarbone needing to catch my breath as I take him in. Every time I’m with him, I’m reminded of how much time I have missed with him.
“Did you get enough air?” he asks, brushing my hair back.
“I think so,” I exhale.
“Good because I’m about to make you scream.”
He spreads my legs open and my hands fall back behind me, bracing me. He fists his heavy cock and rubs it along my slit, coating it in my juices. “You want this?” He pushes the head of his dick in me and my pussy opens up for him, already begging for him to rip me open.
“Yess,” I hiss, thrusting my hips into him and he slams violently into me, giving me just want I want. My head falls back as I scream.
“Oh, no, baby.” His hand wraps around my neck, forcing my head back up. “Look at me while I fuck you.”
His demand sends a pool of moisture to my core, and I swear I could have come at the words. Fuck, how I love this side of him.
My eyes meet his and he grins scandalously at me. “I love seeing those pretty green eyes on me as you take my cock.”
He’s taking slow deep strokes in and out of me and the heat in his hazel eyes is enough to melt me. I’m biting my bottom lip to contain my moans, and my clit is throbbing.
“You’re fucking beautiful,” he grunts. I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, wanting to close them and absorb the pleasure he’s giving me, but at the same time I’m still captivated by his piercing stare. “I’ve spent the whole day thinking about fucking you all over this apartment.”
“That sounds like a good plan.” His hand moves behind my neck, pulling me up to him.
Our lips mesh together in a fiery kiss as he lifts me from the table. I wrap my arms around him, keeping our connection maintained as he moves us to the couch.
I straddle him and my hips move slowly, taking in every inch of him.
There’s nothing better than making love to this man. Our connection has always been powerful and intense. Every kiss and every stroke means something deeper and meaningful; a new expression of our feelings we can’t say in words.
My core tightens and my fingers tangles in his hair as my mouth parts from his trying to hold off the pending orgasm. Jaxson grabs my ass forcefully, pulling me down hard and sets off the earthquake in my body.
“Holy fuck,” I groan, my body quivering, and I’m clawing at Jaxson’s shoulders trying to gain some equilibrium.
“That’s a sight,” Jaxson growls. With his hold on my ass, he lifts me and slams me down on his cock again. He does it over and over again, my head still spinning from my last orgasm but there’s another one building inside me.
“You going to come again, Rivs?”
“Yaheshey,” I mumble, my mind in another orbit.
Jaxson chuckles from deep in his throat as he continues to slam into me while he nuzzles my flopping breasts, trying to lick, nip, and suck them.
With one final lift, my core hovering over his tip, he teases me for only a second before ramming me down on his shaft and both of us explode.
Jaxson falls back on the couch, bringing me down with him. My head lays on his chest, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat.
I never stopped loving him. I never wanted to stop. Despite a tiny set back a couple days ago with his reaction to my appointment, things have been good. I know we have trust issues. I don’t think those will go away in an instant. Especially for him, but our love has always been burning underneath the issues.
Everything is almost back to what it was. Sure, there are still tiny fractured, mangled pieces, but they can be rebuilt. Maybe some of those parts will grow back a little crooked, but in the end, we are together and we can grow and heal together.
“You have no idea how much I want to get back to things the way they were. With how happy we were. Where we didn't worry about…” I drift off
Worry about trust, my father, fear of becoming broken all over again.
"I know," he says, conveying his fears to me without saying them.
My finger runs along his bicep, outlining his tattoos. I love to admire, not only his artwork, but his body.
"What are you doing?" He grips my hair, making me look up at him.
“I’m looking at your tattoo and the details. I haven’t done that yet.” This is one of his new tattoos, The Mayan calendar, the one he never lets me look at for very long. Every little block has a picture that seems to make up a story, instead of the old ancient symbols. “You actually going to let me look now?”
“If you must,” he huffs. I’ve been spending more time exploring the rest of him, but when it came to this one, he would always find a way to distract me.
There’s such great attention to detail in this tattoo and I’m fascinated. There’s a tattoo gun, a book with Dune written on it. One of his favorites. His car, of course.
“What are the ballet slippers for?”
“They’re for my sister.”
“Oh, yeah,” I murmur. I’d forgotten Scarlet used to do ballet when she was little before she got sick. “Do you think she’ll ever dance again?”
“She wants to, but she hasn’t tried since she went into remission.”
My finger dances along a couple other tiny items, and that’s when I see what looks like a river. Next to it is the letter R.
“Is this a river?”
“It’s a creek.”
I prop myself and stare at him. “You’re full of shit. That’s a river…” I grin, poking at the symbol. And though he can’t say the words to me, right here is huge, since he got this tattoo after he claimed to hate me.
“Yes. It’s a river. Happy?”
“Very.” Like over the moon, happy. I’m not sure, happy is enough to describe. “Is this like your story? In pictures? I can’t believe I missed this.” I feel like an idiot not paying closer attention, for letting him distract me from seeing this.
“I’ve been doing a good job of keeping you distracted for a reason, so you wouldn’t ask questions.”
“This is insane, Jaxson. I love it.”
“It took forever to do.”
“I bet.” I place a kiss on it. “You think you could give me another tattoo one day?”
"You trust me?"
"I do. With all my heart."
His hand moves behind me and our noses touch. The words, those words hang in the air between us but neither one of us says them. They don’t have to be said, the air crackles and burns brightly between us, and the intensity that is shining in his eyes is enough to send my heart fluttering.
We both know the words carry a heavy promise and saying them out loud breaks the protective bubble surrounding us; that the boogeyman could jump out and pop the bubble and break our hearts in the process, the second we utter those words.
His hand moves behind my neck and he pulls me down, kissing me. The air is still awkward around us, but his kiss conveys his longing, and all his feelings rolled into one.
And that’s going to have to be good enough for now.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
RIVER
I'm having the morning from hell.
It began with this chill deep in my bones that I can’t seem to shake. One that made my stomach twist into a ball of nervous energy. A chill that said I should have stayed under my covers because today is not going to be my day.
Barely Breathing (Keep Breathing Book 1) Page 13
