Barely Breathing (Keep Breathing Book 1)

by Erica Marselas

“Jax,” she says my name so soft I almost miss it. I drop her hand and search her face, wanting to know why she’s stopping me.

  “Trust me,” she mouths. “Please.” I nod. “I love you too,” she mouths the words and she puts her hand to her heart and pushes the collar of her shirt aside, showing me a glimpse of her wedding band that's hanging on her bra. “Always.”

  "You have to go Jaxson!” she yells and looks over her shoulder back inside the house. Now it’s clear to me that we have an audience. “I told you it was over.” With the last word her voice cracks.

  "River," I beg her, playing along.

  "Seriously, you have to go," she hollers louder than before. "I'm getting married tomorrow. Liam has your termination paperwork for you to sign. It's over.”

  Wait. Liam?

  “Fine. Have a nice life, princess,” I growl out for the added effect.

  She narrows her eyes at me, and I can't tell if she's actually pissed or playing along. She has her hand on the edge of the door about to close it, when another hand grabs it, opening it further.

  "What the fuck is going on out here?" Harry fucker stands before us without his shirt and with the top button of his jeans open and his belt hanging loose.

  "Nothing. Jaxson was just leaving." River goes to push my chest when Harry grabs her wrist.

  "Oh, he's not leaving yet. I want to have a talk with your little white knight."

  "I already took care of it."

  "Yeah? With that little performance?” He snorts and grabs her arm, tossing her into the house. “Get the fuck inside. Wait for me in bed, so we can finish what we started."

  River looks at me shaking her head wildly with her eyes as big as saucers. Harry spins his head to me, with an evil grin. "We can share stories."

  Behind him, River is mouthing...practically screaming 'that's not what's happening,' just as Harry gets the upper hand and slugs me in the jaw. I let the fucker have his hit, thinking he has the upper hand. With people like this it’s always easier to play dumb, then come up for the attack they don’t see coming.

  "Harry. Stop," River screams, coming for me, but Harry slams his hand on her chest and pushes her down. My temper flares and my fists clench. This fucker is about to get what’s coming to him.

  "No. We need him gone once and for all. Your dad filled me in on everything. Coming into our company to snoop around.”

  “No. I just came back to get into your fiancée’s pants."

  "Well, I'm glad I'm finding out she's not totally prude." He clucks his tongue and glances back over at River. "Do what I say, and go back to your fucking room so me and your little punk boy toy can have a little chat or I’ll be happy to tell your father about his love confession and he'll be sure to handle you later…"

  "Just go, River," I tell her with a nod to do so.

  She frowns, giving me one last look. I swear the life just emptied from her green eyes before she turns away.

  Once her figure has disappeared, Harry steps outside closing the door behind him.

  I don't even give him a second to let that cocky grin curl back on his face when I roll my fist and slam my knuckles, ironically tattooed with the word love, into his face. Blood spatters on the door as his head spins from the impact. I hit him again, and he drops to the ground.

  “I didn’t think you would be a violent man.” Harry grabs his face, blood pouring from his mouth.

  “Only to pricks.”

  “Well, this prick is going to enjoy fucking your girlfriend once she becomes my wife. Now let me ask you this. Does she like it rough?"

  My fist clenches, and I punch the prick again. "She might seem meek and compliant to you right now. But my kitten bites back. I wouldn't put your dick anywhere near her if you want to keep it."

  "Oh, I'm scared." He mocks, waving his hands round. I lift my fist to hit him again and the douche cowers in fear. Not so tough after all.

  Maybe River was right. He’s all bark till he’s faced with his own threat.

  "Maybe you should be. You are the one now dripping blood from his mouth."

  I could go hours with him, but there are other things that need to be done.

  "You're going to regret stopping by here today,” he yells as I storm down the steps back to my car.

  "We'll see about that."

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  JAXSON

  “Liam? Where you at?” I’m zipping down route 90 heading for Liam's office, thinking it's the place he'd be on Thursday.

  “Where the fuck are you?” he yells back. “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for hours.”

  “I’ve haven’t wanted to talk to anyone, so I turned off my phone. But I just saw River…”

  “Good. Now meet me at my building,” he cuts me off. “Your old office.”

  “What’s happening? She’s talking about you having some paperwork for me. What the hell was she talking about?”

  “You just need to get down here. Things are going ahead.”

  Ahead? Fuck. “Does River know?”

  “Yes.”

  It all makes sense now why she didn’t want me to yank her out of that house and take her. Why she asked me to trust her because she knows the plan. If only I hadn’t been a dick, I would have been right by her side as everything was drawn up. Now I’m walking into the unknown.

  “Do you need me to grab anything? I don’t have my computer on me.”

  “No. Just get down here.”

  “Alright. I’m on my way.”

  “Also, be prepared.”

  “For what?”

  "You'll see."

  I nod at Brock, the head security guard at Liam’s building. Even though I don't work here anymore, I have clearance to access the building without a guide.

  When I walk into my old office it’s filled to the brim with people and equipment. Sam and Liam are standing in one corner talking to a person in a suit, and there are four people sitting around my old desk looking over the three monitors lined up on it. But it’s the man with silver and black hair that knocks me backward.

  “Dad? What the fuck are you doing here?” I bark, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. As all thirty eyes stare at me, my dad twists in his chair, laughing.

  "Why, hi to you too, son. I was starting to wonder when you were going to join us.”

  “Us?” I'm seriously not in the mood for games. “What do you mean us? What are you doing here?"

  "I've been working with the FBI to take down Jeff. They got a call that things were moving, and here I am," he says casually like he just told me what he had for breakfast.

  My head shakes, not wanting to believe this. That he’s been deceiving me, our entire family all this time.

  “You? You’ve been working with the FBI?” I glance around the room, everyone has gone back to doing their own thing, and I’m still having this semi out of body experience.

  “Yeah, for a little while now. They needed someone who knew how Jeff Graham worked. Who better than the person that used to be his accountant and that he screwed over?” He shrugs.

  "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I couldn't. They wanted to keep this investigation under wraps. Your mother didn't even know."

  "That explains what Scarlet was talking about with you becoming all secretive. You’ve been doing this." I push my hands through my hair, still trying to process this whole fucking thing. "Mom thinks your messing around.”

  “I wanted to tell your mom what is going on from the beginning, but she’s fine now, don’t you worry. I had to be careful with what I was doing. That son of a bitch occasionally keeps his tabs on me and on us, so the fewer people who knew the better. The FBI was aware of that. That’s why I wanted you out of Dolson. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he found out you were there. You didn’t need to be tangled in this mess either and with what is going down. Jeff has done enough to our family.”

  “So, you did know when we talked that she didn’t go to London." He nods. "You knowingly
hid that from me.” My anger stirs. How long was he keeping that from me?

  “Yes, I did know that information. But only since a couple months ago.”

  "Months!" I snap. "You should have told me. Fuck." That's fucking time I could've used to be with her because I would have had the truth sooner. "Does River know about you?"

  "No,” Dad says sharply.

  At least that's something. I don't know how I would have dealt if she did.

  "But I did." Sam comes forward. "It's one of the reasons I brought him in. I knew who he was when I hired him.”

  "Why would you do that?" my dad hisses at her. “I told you I didn’t want anyone else in my family involved.”

  "Because I needed his vengeance to help find what I couldn't. I knew I could hire him to obscure the Cayman accounts and knew once River found out it wouldn’t take long for him to be on our side helping us. To help River.” Sam turns to me and looks me sternly in the eyes. “She loves you and she needed to come clean about what happened between you two before she ran off. She also needed a distraction before she self-destructed. She was fraying apart at the seams and Liam mentioned you still had a thing for her." Sam points over to Liam who holds up his hands, laughing.

  “Really fucker?” I glare at him and am tempted to punch the smug smile off his face. The fucker sold me out.

  “I could see your hate for her wasn't real. You had your wedding picture hanging up at my house dude. You needed to stop lying.”

  “Whatever. Just tell me what the plan is.”

  “Oh, that’s something you didn’t tell me either, son. That you never went through with the divorce,” my father chimes in crossing his arms over his chest.

  “It’s a long story. And I guess we’re even on the keeping secrets now,” I answer smugly.

  “We’ll talk later,” he grumbles. “For now, Bill can fill you in.” My dad claps the shoulder of one of the agents sitting at the desk. I shake his hand and he gives me a brief rundown of what they know and what I already know.

  “As far we know the couple has an appointment at the courthouse at noon to pick up their marriage license, and we’re going to assume the ceremony will follow since there’s no waiting period because it appears Mr. Lawrence and Ms. Graham have...”

  “Mrs. Holden,” I mumble under my breath, correcting him, but Bill hears it and gives me a pointed gaze.

  “Yes, Mrs. Holden and Mr. Lawrence have completed the state-sanctioned marriage preparation course two months ago. But we’ll stop them at the clerk desk before that happens. Because as of eleven forty-five as requested we will have a slew of investors requesting their investments to be returned and filing complaints with the SEC.”

  “We’re going to establish a perimeter around the courthouse and put agents inside. There’s no way he’s getting out. It might be best if you stay back because he will recognize you and might figure something is up. The last thing we want him to do is run when we are this close.”

  I hate the idea of not being there. Not being with her when all this goes down, but I know in twenty-four hours, I’ll have her in my arms again.

  “River is going to get her justice and her freedom,” Sam says and grips my shoulder. “And so will you.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  RIVER

  “What the fuck do you think you are up to?” my father growls gripping the back of my hair, forcing me to look down at the bathtub full of water.

  “Nothing,” I stutter, ignoring the pain shooting through my scalp.

  “You little liar. You will pay…trying to turn me in.” He pushes my head under the water, and pulls me back up, water splashing everywhere from my quick dunk.

  “Please,” I cry. “I’ll do anything.”

  “You’re a liar. Like your mother,” he snarls and his breath smells of cinnamon. The scent makes me woozy, and the already spinning room spins faster. “I might not be able to force you to take your own life like your mother, so I’ll do it for you.”

  He pushes my face down, and I go into the tub. I’m struggling, gasping for breath, and everything starts to fade to black.

  “Breathe, River,” a familiar voice rings in my ears. My lungs are burning and I feel his hand on my back keeping me down. Then I catch a glimpse of my mom’s face, her smiling face. I can’t call out to her. The weight on my chest is keeping me from talking. “Just keep breathing, River.” I go to reach for her and then she’s gone.

  “Mom!” I jolt awake, shooting up in my bed. My lungs are on fire, I’m drenched in sweat, and tears are streaming down my face. The dream felt all so real. My hand goes over my heart as I try to catch my breath. It’s been so long since I’ve had a nightmare like that. I haven’t had one since I’ve been back with Jaxson, and it’s been even longer since I've dreamt of my mom.

  After Jaxson came around and confessed his love to me…my dad was livid and knew that Jaxson wasn’t going down easily. If everything wasn’t riding on today for him, I think he would have killed me. He wrapped his hands around my neck and for a second the world did go black, till Harry pulled him off me, having to remind him I was more valuable alive than dead.

  It might have been the only good thing Harry has done for me.

  I was then locked in my room. It was like being at my aunt’s again. My freedom taken away from me. I didn't get to pick my wedding dress when the seamstress came by because Harry said I didn't deserve it. Not like I wanted one, but I'm sure the bastard picked something out in taffeta and will make me look like a giant cotton ball.

  I swear my life really does play out like a Grimm’s fairy tale.

  I make my way to my bathroom and grab a rag from my hook and turn on the cold water. My neck is sore from where my father tried to steal my last breath. Examining it in the mirror, there’s only a small tinge of purple, but nothing makeup won’t cover. I place the damp cloth to my face and wash away the sweat caused by my nightmare.

  Though the one haunting me in my head is over, the nightmare waiting for me outside my bedroom is just beginning.

  The bastard thought he was smart by snatching my phone and computer, thinking he could find what I'm working on. Figure out what I’m supposedly snooping around for. The thing is, I'm not as stupid as he thinks I am. If he thinks for one second, I would leave anything on my personal stuff, he’s cracked. I never texted Jaxson for a reason. All calls were deleted and most were made from my work line.

  There’s a pounding on my bedroom door that can only belong to one person. I ignore it and move to my bathtub and turn on the faucet. A flash of my nightmare comes to the forefront of my mind at the sight of the running water, but I shake it off. Today my nightmare ends. One way or another.

  I’m standing in the middle of the courthouse, dressed in white on what should be the happiest day of my life. Beside me should be the man of my dreams, eager to confess his love to a judge that will bind us together in holy matrimony. But it’s the opposite of all, and instead, I’m antsy on my feet, my heart thumping out of my chest in a panic, as the man I hate stands next to me, casually playing some stupid game on his phone. While my father, who under normal circumstances should be wrapping me in his arms, telling me how proud he is of me, is standing at the clerk’s desk, the anger and hate pouring out of him, demanding to hurry this wedding up because he has shit to get done.

  At least I had the perfect wedding once with the man of my dreams. If I close my eyes tight enough, I can transport myself to the gardens, and smell the lilac and roses that surrounded us. I can see Jaxson's dimpled smile and his face light up with love for me as I walk towards him to say ‘I do.’ It’s a moment that feels like a lifetime ago, and the memory is torn away from me when my father’s voice slices through the air.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  My eyes fly open, and my heart is racing as fast as a hummingbird’s.

  "What the hell do you mean you can't marry them?" my father roars, and I sink back. I see his ears tint red as the clerk speaks t
o him in hushed tones.

  I know what’s being said without needing to hear.

  That I'm still Mrs. Jaxson Holden. Divorce not finalized.

  "What did you do, you stupid tramp?" Harry hisses in my ear and his hand grips my elbow.

  "I’ve already promised myself to someone else. Oops."

  "Oops?" He shoves me away.

  My dad’s head spins to me, the furious red flushed all over his face, horns seconds away from shooting out of his head.

  "You're still married to that punk?"

  "It seems he didn't want to let me go as much as I tried to push him away."

  My father marches over to me, lifts his hand, and smacks me across the face. "You stupid…" he grits, as I place my hand over my sore cheek. Even though my cheek burns, I push my shoulders back, and for the first time, I grin after his hit. He’s not taking me down today.

  "I'm not stupid, father. You are," I spit, and he stands firm, though I see him flinch slightly at my sudden gallantry.

  "Enlighten me."

  "You didn’t cover the tracks of your dirty scheming as well as you think you did. For a smart man, if you didn’t think that after you blackmailed me it wouldn’t make me do the same thing to you, you’re pretty fucking stupid. I mean, I was raised by you. I guess greed is blinding, isn’t it? Or did you think you broke me, and I wouldn't fight back.”

  His lips curl into a snarl. "You have nothing."

  I eye the clerk behind the desk, and he nods, drawing his gun and two FBI agents come from the other rooms.

  "Jeff," Harry says nervously, eyeing the incoming agents.

  "Oh and, sweetie," I bat my eyes at Harry, "you’re fucked too.”

  “You told me we wouldn’t get caught, Jeff. That everything was solid,” Harry growls, as an FBI agent grabs him and puts him in cuffs. I laugh.

  “You can’t be serious? My father may have gotten away with it, but do you think he was seriously going to keep you around once you took him back on in the company, Harry? Come on. You were just a tool like I was. Think about it. He spent years molding you. The only problem is, you didn't have the sway he had to market investors to swindle their money. You were the gullible target willing to do just about anything. Now come on, the last person my father wants around is me, and the second would be anybody fucking up his scheme, that being you. Am I right, father?” I turn to him, and I smile brightly, my heart pleased to see the man I hate, the one of my nightmares, the one who took my mom’s life, in cuffs and two large burly agents holding him back.