by Eric Vall
“Brrroooo,” Todd turned visible again. “You and your friends just literally tried to trap us and skewer Jacob alive. If that’s your idea of pacifism, I really want to see what you think violence is.”
“Ohh!” the white-haired man jumped giddily. “You brought the imp along!”
“I’m gonna give you about five more seconds before I rip you to shreds,” I warned. “You’d better start talking. Now.”
“You see?” Oliver clicked his tongue. “The imp throws around words like ‘skewer’ and ‘trap’ when I like to view it more as a… test, of sorts.”
“A test?” I raised my eyebrow. “You’ve just bought yourself a few more seconds.”
“For over ten thousand years this cult has followed the teachings of Azazel, and with good cause,” he explained. “But for a while now I’ve felt that we’ve needed to go in a new direction. When the news reached me that you’d defeated the King of the Fourth Circle, it all but confirmed my intuition.”
“So you have disavowed Azazel?” Sia asked.
“Excuse me, succubus,” Oliver’s eyes narrowed as the words slipped out, “I’m talking to your master, not you.”
A familiar throbbing sensation pulsed through my temples as rage filled my body.
In a fury, I walked over to the old fucker, wrapped my non-fiery hand around his throat, and lifted him up into the air.
Oliver let out a gasp, but he didn’t seem to be intimidated by my action. Instead he started to laugh.
“Look, you wiry-haired asshole,” I snarled. “Azazel may have let you talk to his women like that, but I won’t. You get one last chance. I’d suggest you use it wisely.”
“You are perfect!” Oliver coughed. “You have the power, the demeanor, and the initiative we are looking for.”
“Whoa…” Todd said as he stared at the scene in front of him. “Are those crocs and socks?”
“What?” I turned back to look at the imp.
“They’re standard issue for the Cult of Azazel,” Oliver choked. “We used to wear roman sandals, but then they invented this excellent piece of footwear.”
“Socks and crocs?” Libidine sounded dumbfounded. “That’s the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen. And I fought alongside Beelzebub.”
“Don’t knock it until you try it, Lib,” Todd laughed. “I dig the grandpa-chic. It’s coming back in style, you know.”
“Maybe this really is the final phase of the war,” Libidine sighed. “I don’t think I could live in a universe where that is acceptable.”
“Let’s keep it on topic here,” I reminded my friends and then turned my head back to Oliver. “He’s gonna run out of air here pretty soon, and I want answers.”
“Jacob…” the robed man wheezed. “I want you to be our new leader.”
“Why the fuck should I trust you?” I sneered. “You kidnapped Jane.”
“Kidnapped?” he shook his head. “It was her idea to be outed and captured!”
I released my grip on Oliver, and he fell comically down onto the floor.
“So she’s okay?” I asked and decast my red Hellfire.
“She’s more than okay.” The man rubbed his throat where I had held him. “She’s going to help you stop the ritual.”
“I’m not gonna lie, guys.” Todd scratched his hair in confusion. “I’m really fucking lost here.”
“Don’t worry,” I reassured the imp. “So am I. Aren’t you the leader of the entire cult? Why can’t you just call it all off?”
“Unfortunately, many of my brothers and sisters do not share my sentiments,” Oliver stood back up on his feet. “Even though you have defeated Azazel in one-on-one combat, they are convinced that we should follow a true demon and not a mere mortal.”
“Why can’t you just overrule them?” Todd questioned.
Oliver looked offended. “Because when our master is gone, the Cult of Azazel reverts into a democracy. I’m a leader, not a dictator. Jane and I were outvoted.”
“Jacob is far from a mere mortal,” Cupiditas argued.
“I know that.” Oliver nodded. “When Jane came to me and told me about your little confrontation out in Arizona, I knew it was time to make the change. I’ve set it up so that my brethren can witness your awesome power firsthand.”
“The traps in the woods?” I asked.
“Of course!” he laughed. “I brought in the best demonologists from our sects across the world and then told them that it was imperative that we killed you and captured your succubi.”
“So you did still try to kill us,” I growled and clenched my fists.
“The danger was real, but I knew it’d pose no threat to someone like yourself.” He waved off my accusation. “By escaping, you have displayed your masterful knowledge of the occult. Now, all that is left is for the Cult of Azazel to bear witness to your Hellfire.”
“What about that hot chick’s phone?” Todd asked as he picked his teeth with his claws. “We found it lying on the ground out in the middle of the forest.”
“We had to raise the stakes,” Oliver explained. “So Jane came up with the idea to let herself get caught and subsequently captured. Once my brethren see what you can do when you’re determined to save someone you love, they will all bow down to you. That is a promise.”
“Why should we believe anything you say?” Sia interrogated. “You’ve served Azazel faithfully for years. How do we know this isn’t just an elaborate trap?”
“Superbia, Superbia,” the robed man laughed at her words. “You don’t have to believe me. You can kill me right where I stand, and it wouldn’t matter to me.”
“Don’t tempt me,” Cupiditas warned.
“All that matters is that you take your rightful place at the head of this Cult. When this group was created, it was with one intent- To worship the most powerful being on Earth. For thousands of years that was Azazel.”
“And now?” I continued.
Oliver put his hand on my shoulder. “Now, I believe that being is you, Jacob Ralston. I will serve you until the day I die.”
“So like, five years?” Todd cackled.
“I’m seven-hundred years old!” Oliver hissed back. “My magic can only do so much for my looks at this point.”
“I still don’t trust you.” I was frank with the man. “Even if I did, I would never want to be the head of this cult. You people are murderers, criminals, rapists--”
“Is that what you really think of us?” The white-haired man asked in a shocked tone. “For the most part, we are simple folk, with real jobs and real lives. We have just devoted ourselves to a higher cause. We do slaughter the occasional beast for our blood rituals, but outside of that we only kill when attacked, or when we are ordered to by our master.”
“So you’re just following orders,” I sneered. “Where have I heard that one before?”
“If you wish us to disband or commit mass suicide, so be it.” Oliver shrugged.
“I’m not sure if Jakey has enough Kool-Aide for that,” Todd chuckled.
“I would advise against that, Jacob,” Cupi implored. “They may be evil people, but it would be really nice to have an army of magic users under your command.”
“I agree with Cupiditas.” Sia nodded. “Think of how much help an army would be for our mission.”
“We make a great team,” Libidine spoke up, “but we can only be at one place at a single time.”
“Precisely.” Sia continued. “With proper management, we could be slaying ten times the amount of demons we are now!”
I rubbed my chin as I thought about this predicament.
On one hand, I really didn’t want to be associated with a group of murders, no matter the context. On the other, we could be using these guys to our advantage.
Was I willing to sell my soul to achieve ultimate victory?
“If I may interject, master?” Oliver spoke up. “The fact of the matter is that there is a possession ceremony starting in about forty minutes. Your girlfriend has been captured, and o
ne of the local woman is about to be impregnated with the seed of Azazel. All I ask is that you go and show everyone your skills by stopping this ceremony and rescuing your woman. After that, the rest of my brothers and sisters will fall in line, and you may do with us as you please.”
“Fine,” I agreed. “We have to stop this ceremony, anyway. I’ll figure out what I’m going to do with you after we’re done.”
I turned to go towards the elevator, but Oliver stuck up a hand to stop me.
“Oh, nonono.” He chuckled. “The elevator cords have been severed. Did you really think I was going to make your final test that easy?”
“You’re fucking kidding me, right?” I asked the man. “We have to go up sixty flights of stairs?”
“Sixty flights of stairs that are guarded by some of our greatest magic users,” the white-haired man corrected.
“I should kill you just for that,” I grumbled and then motioned for my friends to follow me over to the staircase.
“Good luck, master!” Oliver called as we walked away. “Andras and I will be patiently awaiting your return.”
“So, what do you guys think?” I asked the group. “Do you think he’s just bullshitting us?”
“If he wanted us dead, he would have had Andras try to kill us the second we entered the lobby,” Sia mused. “He obviously wanted to speak to us in person.”
“And if Oliver really is the leader of the entire Cult of Azazel, he’s probably no slouch with magic himself,” Libidine added. “The fact that they both let us walk away makes me think he’s telling the truth.”
“We just have to survive the onslaught of cultists that are waiting for us,” I sighed. “That should be a walk in the park.”
“But think of how awesome it’s gonna be once you make them your bitches!” Todd implored. “On top of killing demons, we can have these dudes and dudettes do all of our chores and day-to-day bullshit that we don’t want to do.”
“I don’t think we’re going to be using the Cult of Azazel to pick up our dry cleaning, Todd,” I laughed.
“The Cult of Ralston,” Cupiditas corrected.
“I do like the sound of that.” I nodded.
“Bro!” Todd giggled. “I just remembered that this is a coed cult that worships demons. The Toddster is gonna be drowning in pussy when they convert over to our side.”
“I don’t think--” I started.
“And once we get these guys on our side, they can go out and convert all the other cults in the world.” Todd continued. “You’ll keep getting stronger and more badass, and then so will I. According to the transitive property.”
“I’m surprised you are familiar with that concept, Todd,” Sia chuckled.
The imp shrugged. “I may be a stoner, but I wasn’t that bad of a student.”
Finally we arrived at the large gray fire door that led to the staircase. I quietly pushed it open and then peeked my head around to observe the situation.
All I could see were the white concrete walls and the pale handrails that sprawled all the way up to the roof of the tower. The entire staircase was arranged in the traditional square pattern, without any sort of opening between the floors.
“Well damn,” I whispered. “I was hoping one of you could fly us straight up, but it looks like that’s not going to happen.”
“Looks like we’re gonna have to Ghostbusters this shit.” Todd nodded. “Hopefully Azazel isn’t going to ask us to choose a traveler.”
“I don’t think--”
“Because if he does, I’m totally choosing some super-hot anime chick.” Todd warned. “Just thought I’d let you guys know.”
I glanced at my phone and saw that we now had twenty-seven minutes before the ceremony began. I took a deep breath as I looked up the staircase once more.
“Are you guys ready?” I looked around at my friends.
“As ready as we will ever be.” Sia nodded.
“With you ‘till the end, Jakey,” Todd added.
“Alright,” I said as I turned to go up the stairs. “Then let’s go kick some cultist ass.”
Chapter 19
A cramped stairwell was definitely not the ideal location for a climactic battle for the fate of the universe, but we had to play the hand that we were dealt.
The five of us dashed up the stairs as quickly as we could, and our footsteps resonated off the concrete with each step we took. There was no time for stealth or for loitering.
We were going to have to push our way up to the roof through brute force.
I had my red Hellfire in my hands, and a glow of yellow, blue, and black from my peripheral vision told me the succubi were also prepared to fight. As we rounded each corner of the staircase, I held out my arm like it was a cocked rifle, ready to blast the first cultist we came across.
“Down there!” I heard a man’s voice echo from above. “Somebody’s coming!”
“Here we go, guys.” I nodded to my friends.
The first cultist to appear didn’t know what hit him. The second he was in our sights, he was assaulted with an onslaught of colorful Hellfire. His eyes widened as he tried to toss up a shield, but he was much too slow. His blood and ashes splattered across the white wall like a twisted Pollock painting, and all that remained of his body were a pair of legs severed at the knee.
“Jacob, look out!” Cupiditas screamed, and then a wave of her blue flame shot upward.
I looked up to see that the blonde succubus had caught a ball of Hellfire in the air, and then I saw Sia’s black flames lurch into the sky.
The madame’s spell caught the attacker in the face and hurled him into the underside of the staircase above him. A wet crack rang out as his neck twisted violently, and his spine shot out through his skin. His body fell onto the ground and tumbled down onto the landing.
We went up another five or six flights, and then we heard the clicking of footsteps.
“Todd!” I commanded. “Ricochet.”
“Got it, Jakey,” he nodded.
I tossed out a diagonal wall of purple flames onto the landing in front of us.
At the same time, Todd cackled and unleashed a hailstorm of snowball-sized Hellfire.
The imp’s barrage struck my shield and then bounced up into the next line of stairs. We heard screams of pain from above, and then three flaming bodies spilled down onto the landing.
“Hold them!” I pointed to the cultists as they writhed in agony.
Cupiditas, Sia, and I unleashed a combined onslaught, a veritable rainbow of Hellfire, and the fuckers were engulfed with gouts of purple, blue, and black. We kept it going for a few more seconds, and then the men inside the flames were burnt to a crisp.
We then calmly stepped over the dead bodies and then continued ascending the tower.
As we hit the landing of the twentieth floor, a gray door flew open, and a bunch of yellow spears shot toward us. Seconds before we were impaled by the attack, I threw up a violet barrier.
The spears hit the wall and fell to the ground harmlessly as Todd ducked down and unleashed a slew of fireballs from underneath the cover of my shield.
The cultists were able to slam the fire door back shut, but mere mundane metal still wasn’t going to be near strong enough to withstand the blast as it was blown off its hinges.
Todd ran out into the main room and continued to launch Hellfire at his fleeing targets.
“It was getting really crowded in there, anyway,” he shouted back at me. “I’ll Rambo these fuckers and then meet you up there!”
“I’ll go with Todd,” Cupi said with a sigh. “He’s bound to need help at some point.”
“You sure?” I asked, but then I heard more commotion from above.
“Yes.” The blonde nodded. “We’ll get up there, don’t worry.”
“You’re a badass warrior woman from Hell, Cupi,” I quipped with a grin. “I’m more worried that you’ll miss out on all the fun.”
“I’ll make my own, then.” She winked and then ra
n through the hole where the door once stood.
Sia, Liby, and I charged upward at our attackers, and I pulled the goat-headed dagger out of my duffel bag.
As soon as the first fucker was in sight, I threw the knife directly into his eye socket. He screamed in pain, fumbled at the hilt, and then pulled it out, releasing a river of viscera onto the stairs. The three cultists that were with him slipped on the slimy gore, fell down, and then comically tried to pull themselves back up on their feet.
That was all the time we needed.
Sia and I both blasted the group with red Hellfire, and they were dead in seconds.
I was careful not to slip on the gory scene myself as I walked up and reclaimed my dagger from the heap of remains. Then I turned back to help my friends, and my mouth fell agape in surprise.
“Sia,” I stuttered and pointed to her head. “You have your horns!”
The madame’s headwear was very different from any of the ones I’d seen so far. They were black with a tiny hint of a reddish glow with a thick base that stuck out of her forehead instead of her temples as with the others before they narrowed as they curled downward like the horns of one of those big ass goats.
“It was going to happen at some point.” Sia shrugged. “I’m just glad I earned them back by fighting at your side, Jacob.”
We passed by the thirty-second floor, and I could feel myself starting to become winded. I stopped for a second, doubled over, and rested my hands on my knees.
“Whew,” I gasped. “Remind me to do more cardio when we get back to the mansion. Aren’t you guys tired?”
“Not at all.” Libidine giggled. “Succubi hearts are made to never get tired from physical activity, for obvious reasons.”
“Of course,” I huffed.
“There!” I heard one of the cultists call from above.
The three of us rolled out of the way just as a wave of yellow daggers stabbed into the landing.
I tumbled down the stairs, but I was able to catch myself before anything was broken. Without looking, I fired a wave of Hellfire up at our attackers and then stood up to reorient myself.
Sia and Libidine were both pulling themselves off the ground as the cultists attacked, and I was forced to throw up a wall of purple flames to protect them.
