by Geonn Cannon
April sat up and squeezed Molly’s hand.
Back in the present, Molly looked down at her hand. That squeeze, she thought. That was when she knew. When she knew that, no matter what April said, there would always be a distance between them. Molly, no matter how good her intentions, had betrayed her sister. I’d do anything to get those years back. I’d do anything to do that night over. I hope you knew how sorry I was, April.
Monday night after she got off work, she had gone through all the photo albums she could find. She searched through them for pictures of April as a little girl and as a teenager. On Tuesday, she took them all to Butler Photography on her lunch break and had copies made. She’d put the copies in an envelope and sent them off to Robin in Montana with a note: “Thought you might like these. Don’t worry, they’re all April; I know how to tell us apart.” She had thought the message was cute and witty, but in retrospect it seemed like a tasteless comment on the ill-advised night they’d spent together.
She hoped Robin took the pictures at face value: a nice gift, a way of saying that Molly accepted Robin as April’s widow. I have a sister-in-law, she thought. I might as well take this self-exploration all the way and do what I can to get to know her.
She checked her watch. Her reverie had eaten up fifteen whole minutes. She sighed and stood up. She peeled the turtleneck off -- if she had five hours to kill, she wasn’t about to get anything on her one nice top -- and headed to the kitchen to cook herself something for lunch.
##
Molly knocked on the door to Shane’s apartment and stepped back so she could be seen through the peephole. The building was nice, cozy. She’d never imagined where Shane called home, but she doubted she would have pictured anything quite this...Norman Rockwell. She stuck her hands in her pockets and looked down at herself. The turtleneck and vest now seemed very Annie Hall. All she needed was a thick black tie and a...
The apartment door opened, breaking off her chain of thoughts. Shane wore a red blouse unbuttoned halfway down her chest to reveal a black tank top. She also wore a pair of tight black jeans, and her bare feet sank into the carpet just inside the door. “Uh, hi.” Molly smiled and gestured at Shane’s feet. “Were you planning on going to a very casual restaurant?”
Shane smiled and said, “Change of plans. I know you said you didn’t want to cook, and I’m right there with you. But...it’s...well, from what you’ve told me, this is like your first date. I didn’t think you’d want to be out in public with everyone staring at you. So I got Chin’s to deliver. We can just eat here. If you’d be more comfortable.”
Molly exhaled. She hadn’t realized she was so anxious about the idea of going out in public, but Shane’s idea was a relief. “Yes. I’d like that a lot.” She walked in and looked around the apartment. The front door opened into the living room, and the kitchen was separated only by a short counter. The Chinese take-out boxes stuck out of the trash can, and Shane had gone to the trouble to serve the meals up on what Molly hoped was her nice China. “Those aren’t your everyday plates, are they?” Molly asked.
“God, no,” Shane said. She walked past Molly, and their arms brushed.
After years of working together in cramped quarters, Molly had gotten used to the feel of Shane’s body against hers. But this was different; she felt a spark, her breathing caught, and she nervously reached up to touch her hair. Shane followed the motion of Molly’s hand and said, “Oh. God, your hair looks great.”
Molly blushed. Instead of the usual pigtails, she had pinned her hair with a silver hairpin she’d inherited from her grandmother. She’d left a few strands loose in the back to cover her neck, and they tickled slightly in the breeze of the air conditioner. “Well, I thought as long as I was trying different things...”
“It’s wonderful. I love it.”
Molly looked at the food and said, “Which...?”
“Uh, it’s up to you. This is Sesame Beef, and this is Beef with Broccoli. I could’ve gotten seafood, but I thought...”
“Wise choice. Are either of them spicy?”
“No, I got the...non-spicy meals. But I have sauce if you–”
“No, that’s good. I don’t like spicy. I’ll take the Sesame Beef.”
Shane smiled. “Excellent choice, madam.” She pulled out the chair, and Molly, feeling just a bit self-conscious, took a seat. Shane leaned down and kissed Molly’s cheek. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
Molly turned and looked at Shane. “I’m glad you wanted me.”
They stared at each other for a moment before Shane blinked and looked back at the table. “Uh, there’s chopsticks and silverware both, whatever you’re comfortable with. Egg rolls and fortune cookies in the middle of the table, naturally. I like to eat them after the meal, like a, uh, dessert.”
“Me, too.”
Shane went around to her side of the table and sat down. “Molly?”
Molly looked up.
She swallowed and plucked at the edge of her napkin. “I don’t know. I was just going to say I was glad you were here, but I already said that, didn’t I?”
“Kind of.”
Shane smiled and said, “Let’s just eat. Do you say grace?”
“Not usually. Do...?”
“No.” She picked up her chopsticks and picked up a piece of broccoli. “Bon appetite.”
Together, Shane and Molly had prepared thousands of meals for thousands of people, but the simple act of sitting together and eating a meal for themselves was an almost alien concept. They ate in relative, yet companionable, silence.
When the end of the meal came, Shane reached to the middle of the table. She served an egg roll to Molly and took one for herself before she picked up the fortune cookies. “Okay, this is a little silly, but will you indulge me?” Molly nodded and watched as Shane put the cookies behind her back. “My parents used to do this all the time, and I can barely bring myself to eat one without the ritual. Pick a hand.”
“Left,” Molly said.
Shane held out her left hand, and Molly took the cookie. She cracked it in half and withdrew the tiny slip of paper. “Don’t read it yet,” Shane said. She cracked her own cookie, withdrew her own slip, and said, “Okay, read it now.”
Molly looked down at the tiny blue letters. “Do not dwell on differences with a loved one. Try to compromise...
“In bed,” Shane and Molly said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise and then laughed. Molly popped half the cookie into her mouth and said, “Guess our parents had the same sense of humor.”
“Guess so.”
“What does yours say?”
Shane hesitated and said, “I don’t want to say. Is that all right?”
Molly nodded. “Sure. It’s your fortune.”
Shane folded the paper and placed it in the middle of the table. She stood and said, “Why don’t you pick a movie while I clear the dishes? The movies are all in the entertainment center, under the TV.”
Molly went into the living room while Shane rinsed the dishes at the sink and loaded them into the dishwasher. She ran her finger across the titles and chuckled when she came to one in the middle. “Shane.”
“Yeah?”
“No,” Molly said. She pulled the DVD out and held it up so Alan Ladd was facing the kitchen. “You have a copy of Shane.”
Shane grinned. “It was my Dad’s favorite movie. And my namesake. I’ve always owned a copy of the movie, no matter what version...VHS, laserdisc, DVD...”
“That’s a nice tribute,” Molly said. She continued searching and said, “Is Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang any good?”
“Really good,” Shane said.
“Good enough for me,” Molly said. She closed the cabinet and loaded the disc into the player. Shane came out of the kitchen, her hands freshly dried on a paper towel, and turned off the overhead lights. They sat together on the couch as the movie started. Molly had never heard of the movie, but she was surprised to find herself engrossed not long after the o
pening credits had rolled.
They settled on the couch, with the living room lights off. The dining room light was still on, giving them enough light to see but not so much that it glared on the TV screen. Molly put her arm around Shane and pulled her close, letting her lounge against her chest.
Halfway through the movie, while Val Kilmer and Robert Downey, Jr., were trying to dispose of a pesky dead body, Shane fell asleep. Molly turned her attention away from the movie and toyed with the strands of Shane’s hair, arranging them across her forehead and smiling when Shane’s nose wrinkled.
When the movie ended, Molly gently shook Shane’s shoulder. “Hey. Movie’s over.”
Shane blinked her eyes quickly and said, “Aw, man. Is it entirely over?”
“Um, Val Kilmer apologized for saying fuck so much.”
“Oh.” Shane rubbed her eyes and sat up. She smiled at Molly and said, “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. It was fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Next time I’ll fall asleep on you, and we can call it even.”
Shane smiled. “Next time? I fall asleep on you halfway through the movie and I get a next time?”
Molly shrugged. “What can I say; I’m a sucker for sleepyheads.” Wake up, sleepyhead. The memory of her sister was sudden and surprising. She welcomed it, that new facet of her sister’s personality, but at the moment she couldn’t deal with it. She banished the sudden thought and looked at the credits scrolling over the screen.
Shane put a hand on Molly’s arm. “Hey, you all right?”
Molly looked at Shane’s hand and said, “That could get scary.” Shane frowned. “How well you know me. How well you can read me.”
Shane grinned. “What kind of sous-chef would I be if I couldn’t read you like a book?”
Molly pulled her shoes back on and stood up. Shane turned off the TV and walked Molly to the front door. She leaned against the wall without opening the door, the light of the kitchen still casting a faded orange glow over them. “I had a really great time tonight.”
“So it was a good first date?” Molly asked. “I don’t really have a ton of experience with them.”
“It was an okay first date.”
“What would tip the scales?”
Shane hesitated and shrugged. “I don’t know...”
“A really good first kiss?”
Shane looked at Molly. She kept her face indifferent and said, “Yeah, that’s one way.”
Molly stepped forward and slipped her hands around Shane’s waist. She pulled Shane forward, their hips together, and tilted her head. Their lips brushed gently together, and Shane sagged slightly, giving dominance to Molly. Molly flattened her hands to Shane’s back and parted Shane’s lips with the tip of her tongue. Their tongues touched, and Shane put her hands on Molly’s shoulders. Shane squeezed lightly with her fingers and moaned into Molly’s mouth.
When they parted, Shane stepped closer and put her head on Molly’s shoulder. “Oh, Molly, you’re driving me crazy...”
Molly’s heart skipped. She turned her head, her lips against the shell of Shane’s ear, and she whispered, “Say it again.”
“What?”
“My name.”
“Molly?”
Molly stepped back and looked into Shane’s eyes. “What would make this date really, really wonderful?”
“I don’t...”
Molly’s hands went to the highest-fastened button of Shane’s blouse. Shane looked down and then looked back up into Molly’s eyes. “You sure?”
“I’m willing,” Molly whispered. “I want to.”
Shane eased Molly’s hands away from her shirt and wrapped her fingers around Molly’s hand. She pushed away from the wall and said, “Let’s go to the bedroom.”
Molly’s heart raced as she let Shane lead her back through the living room. Shane turned around, walking backwards as she led Molly through the bedroom door. Molly was struggling for breath as she pulled Shane to her, kissing her in the darkness. “Will you say my name again?”
“Mm,” Shane moaned into Molly’s mouth. Her hands tangled in Molly’s hair as they fell back onto the bed. “Lots of times,” she promised.
Molly settled on top of Shane, shifting slightly to avoid crushing her. “Mm. I’m going to hold you to that...”
They kissed, and Molly’s leg slipped between Shane’s thighs. Molly raised herself on one elbow and looked down at her. Shane’s hair fanned around her head like a halo, her face flushed. Molly was breathless as she moved her free hand down Shane’s cheek, over her throat and to the flat part of her chest.
“You really want me,” Molly said. “Don’t you?”
“Yes, Molly...I’ve wanted you for a long time.”
“Shane...” Molly bent down to kiss her lips, and moved her hand into Shane’s blouse. She cupped Shane’s breast through the thin material of her tank top, caressing in slow circles with her fingertips until she could feel Shane’s nipples.
Shane whimpered and tightened her legs around Molly, thrusting her hips against Molly’s thigh. They rocked against each other for a few seconds, Molly still getting accustomed to the feel of a woman underneath her, still getting used to the idea of being able to take her time.
When their kiss finally broke, Molly straightened and looked into Shane’s half-lidded eyes. “I might cry. I just want you to know that... just in case you...”
“It's okay,” Shane whispered. “I understand.” She brushed her thumb over Molly’s bottom lip and moaned when Molly bent down for another kiss. Molly continued to run her hands over Shane’s body, exploring curves she had only explored in stolen glances. Now she was here, Shane’s perfect body was reacting to her touch...Shane wanted her.
Molly broke the kiss and pressed her lips to Shane’s chin. She brushed her tongue over Shane’s throat and tugged at the material of her shirt as she moved down. Shane arched her back and twisted to help Molly get the shirt out of the way. As Shane sat up and pulled the blouse off, Molly lifted the hem of her tank top and kissed Shane’s bare stomach.
“Oh, Molly...” Shane ran her hands through the waves of blonde hair, smoothed her hands over Molly’s back.
Molly hesitated after circling her navel, but then pushed Shane’s shirt higher. She kissed the bottom swell of Shane’s breasts, then closed her lips around one hard nipple. Shane groaned and rocked her hips harder against Molly’s stomach.
Shane finally pulled her tank top completely off, tossed it across the room and laid back. Molly followed her down, reluctant to lose contact with Shane’s chest, and released one nipple only to explore the other one. Shane was gasping, her hips moving erratically against Molly. Shane chanted Molly’s name in a low whisper, still running her hands over Molly’s shoulders, back, and arms.
When Molly unsnapped the catch of Shane’s jeans, Shane hooked her thumbs in the waistband to shove them down. Molly twisted out of the way and tugged the tight denim down her legs. She kissed Shane’s calf, the inside of her knee and both thighs, giving herself time to acknowledge just where she was going.
“Molly...wait...”
“I can't...”
“No, just...here.” Shane shifted on the mattress and motioned for Molly to climb up next to her. Molly reluctantly stood and stretched out next to her. Shane undid Molly’s jeans, staring into her eyes as she pushed her hand into the denim.
Molly closed her eyes as Shane’s fingers found her. She gasped quietly and said, “I was going to...”
“I know,” Shane whispered. “It’s all right. There’s time.” She kissed Molly’s lips. “I don't want this to end too quickly...and I would have come as soon as you put your mouth on me.”
“Shane...” Molly sighed.
Shane leaned in and kissed Molly’s cheek, her throat. Molly put her hand between Shane’s thighs and touched her. She slipped two fingers inside, and Shane reciprocated, her breath coming in short, uneven gasps. “Molly...” She pinched Molly’s clit
between her first two fingers and rolled it slowly. “Molly, I want you to come for me...”
“Oh, shit, Shane...”
Shane kissed Molly’s lips to stifle her cries as she came. Molly jerked against Shane’s hands, thrusting against the fingers that slipped easily between her wet folds. Shane broke the kiss and said, “Molly, I want you.”
Molly cried out again and arched her back. She crossed her ankles, her body simultaneously wanting to stretch and tighten into a ball. When she finally stopped trembling, Shane was kissing Molly’s closed eyes, her hand still between her legs. “Shane,” Molly whispered.
Shane smiled. “Molly. I guess, uh...that was okay?”
“It was okay,” Molly agreed. “But it could have been better.”
“Oh, really. May I ask how, exactly?”
Molly sat up and slid down Shane’s body. She kissed the sweaty skin she had already explored, lingering over the new areas. She ran her tongue over the sharp curve of Shane’s hip, just above the elastic of her panties. She looked up into Shane’s eyes and said, “By letting me finish what I started...”
“Oh.” Shane laid back and steadied her breathing as Molly pulled her underwear down. She spread her thighs as Molly settled between them. “Well, don’t let me stop you...”
##
Molly tried to stay quiet as she searched for the coffee mugs in Shane’s cupboards. She finally found one, emblazoned with the Gail’s logo, and filled it with milk from the fridge. She was glad she’d chosen the turtleneck, since it reached to mid-thigh and kept her from having to put on her pants to go for a midnight snack. She crossed her ankles and stared at the pale-blue square of moonlight that was cast on the kitchen wall.
Every other time she’d had sex with someone, she’d wanted to get out as soon as possible. Sex had always been a one- or two-time thing before the spark left or before she started wanting someone or something else. She and Shane had spent the last three hours making love, her muscles were sore, and her head was swimming, and her knees were like rubber...and it was all she could do not to pour the milk down the drain and go running back to Shane’s side.
Her mug was almost empty when Shane appeared at the bedroom door. She was wearing a T-shirt that didn’t quite reach her crotch and, when she stretched, it revealed far more of her than Molly was used to seeing. Molly attempted to be casual as she sipped her milk. “Hi,” she whispered.
