“I need beer.” Saint storms across the room, making a beeline for the refrigerator.
We sink back onto the couches, glancing at one another.
“I didn’t think she’d be so shocked or so unsure,” Caz says, placing his feet on the coffee table.
“It’s rare to see Lo so shook up, but you’ve got to understand that marriage is a big deal to her,” Theo says, accepting a beer from Saint as he reenters the space.
“Because of her parents,” I surmise. Saint hands Caz a beer and places a bottle of water in my hand.
“Giana and Trey had this rare kind of love,” Theo explains, as Saint reclaims his seat beside him. “My parent’s marriage is a happy one, but they’re not on that level. I used to watch Lo’s parents when they were together. They were always holding hands or touching in some way, and when they looked at each other, you just knew no one or nothing around them existed. They lived and breathed for each other, and they doted on Lo. She was the center of their world.”
“Yet Trey kept a ton of shit from Giana. He was coerced into taking another woman to his bed, and we’ve no idea what Giana was really up to, because it’s clear she knows more than she let on.” Saint swallows a mouthful of beer. “It doesn’t sound like a fairy tale to me. We can give Lo so much more.”
“I don’t disagree,” Theo says. “But Lo worshiped her parents, and I know she desired a marriage like they had because she told me that one time.”
“You think that’s what’s going on in her head?” Saint asks, looking troubled. “That she wants that and she doesn’t have it with us?”
“How do you know she doesn’t?” I ask, tipping the cold liquid into my mouth. “I don’t think we should second-guess what’s going through her mind. And just because she told you that years ago, doesn’t mean she still feels the same,” I say, eyeballing Theo. “She’s learned a lot about her parents since then, and she’s older now.”
“I didn’t think this would be a big deal,” Saint says. “She’s so laid-back about everything.” He looks miserable as sin, and for his sake, I hope Lo doesn’t take too long to make up her mind.
“We also know she’s smart and she thinks things through,” Caz says, chugging his beer.
“No matter how we spin it, this is a big decision. A life-changing one,” I add.
“And she’s a girl,” Caz supplies, stating the obvious. “We didn’t stop to consider she’s probably thought about this her whole life. A marriage contract isn’t exactly romantic.”
Fuck, none of us thought about that, and Caz is right. “Maybe we should have gone about this differently.”
“We should’ve properly proposed. All of us,” Theo agrees, nodding.
Saint drains his beer and stands, his eyes brimming with determination. “It’s not too late to rectify that.” He looks at Theo. “I need you with me.” He points at me and Caz. “You two stay here and watch over the princess.”
“Where are you going?” I ask.
He flashes me one of his supremely-annoying smug grins. “Ring shopping.”
Theo grins, raising his hand for a knuckle touch. “Now you’re talking.”
“Come up with a wedding plan while we’re gone,” Saint adds, grabbing his wallet and keys from the coffee table. “I know we’ll have to do this hush-hush, and in a rush, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make it romantic for our girl.”
“What da fuck do we know about weddings?” Caz grumbles. “I wish I’d paid more attention when Giana was boring the shit out of us about her wedding.”
I’d say that makes four of us.
“Google’s your friend,” Theo says, slapping his tablet into Caz’s hands before the two assholes leave.
I nudge Caz in the elbow as I struggle to my feet. “You heard the man. Get your ass in gear, dude.” I shuffle toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to talk to Lo.”
“Galen.” Caz censures me with a warning look.
“It’s not what you think.” I turn to face him. “I’m letting her know that her choice is a little easier.”
Caz’s eyes grow wide. “You’re bowing out?” He steps toward me. “You don’t have to do that. She’s forgiven you, and you have every right to be considered as equally as we are.”
I smile, slapping him on the shoulder. “Appreciate the support, but it’s not that.” I slip out of the house before he can quiz me further, following the tracking app we all now have installed on our phones, which leads me to Lo’s location.
She’s sitting in a pretty garden that’s been created just inside the edge of the forest. It’s a small circular shape with a covered wooden gazebo in the middle, occupying prime real estate. A couple of benches are sheltered underneath the gazebo, and our girl is sitting on one. Shrubs and flowerbeds surround the wooden structure on all sides, and I’m betting it’s a gorgeous spot in the summer when all the flowers are in full bloom.
Lo looks up as I approach, her brow puckering. “Is everything okay? Has something happened?”
“Relax.” I ease myself down beside her. “Nothing has happened. I want to talk to you.”
She eyeballs me curiously. “Okay.” She drags out the word, and I can tell she’s still thoroughly confused.
“I’m not here to influence your decision, but I wanted to let you know it can’t be me.”
“Why not?” She pierces me with those gorgeous green eyes I dream about.
“I’m not eighteen till December. I can’t legally marry without parental consent.” Although Mom wouldn’t stop me, I can’t trust her with something this important.
“I just assumed you were the same age as us,” Lo admits.
“Everyone does, and I don’t bother correcting them.”
“Why didn’t you say anything inside?”
I shrug. “The others haven’t realized, and I preferred to talk to you in private. No one believes it would be me anyway.”
“Stop.” She clasps my face in her hands. “Don’t do that. I thought we had dealt with this.” Her eyes probe mine. “You mean as much to me as the others.”
“I know that.” I offer her a reassuring smile.
“Do you?” She holds my face tighter. “Do you know how much I love you? Because I do, Galen.” Her eyes blaze fiercely. “You haven’t made it easy, but the heart knows. I fucking love you.”
Emotion swells my chest and clogs my throat.
We move at the same time, our mouths colliding in a passionate kiss that confirms everything we’re feeling. I close my eyes, winding my hands around the nape of her neck and angling my head as we kiss, amazed at the depth of the emotions swirling inside me.
I never thought I could feel this much for a girl. Until Harlow Westbrook swept into our lives, bowling us over with her sexy charm, sharp wit, smart intellect, and fierce loyalty. I hope she finds her way on to the same page as us, because I already know I’ll never find another woman I love as much as this woman in my arms.
“Angel.” I pant over her lips when we finally break apart. “I will never love anyone the way I love you.”
We rest our foreheads together, still clinging to one another. “This is an impossible choice. One I don’t want to make,” she admits.
“Don’t beat yourself up over it, baby.” I brush my thumb along her plump lower lip. “We don’t want that.” I’m tempted to say it’s only a piece of paper, but I don’t want to denigrate the act to something so trivial. Not after our discussion inside. It’s clear from her torment that marriage is a big consideration for Lo, and I won’t cheapen it.
She worries her bottom lip between her teeth, sighing as she drops her hands into her lap. “I hate this. It feels like a competition. It’s like asking a mother to choose a favorite child.” She averts her eyes. “I can’t do it. I don’t want to hurt any of you. This feels wrong.” She looks back at me. “We’ll find another way.”
“There isn’t time.” Taking her hands, I lift them to my lips. “We
’ll be fine with whatever decision you make. You are still ours, Lo, and we’re still yours. Marrying one of us doesn’t change that.”
I leave her to her thoughts, heading back inside the house.
“Thank fuck, you’re back.” Caz drags his hand through his hair. “This wedding shit is confusing as fuck.”
I hang up my coat, smirking. “It seems Theo and I are the only ones not getting our panties in a bunch.”
“That’s ’cause Theo knows she’ll choose him.”
“It’s not just that. He’s confident in her feelings for him. He won’t care if she doesn’t choose him.”
“What did you say to her?” he asks, gesturing me toward the kitchen table.
“I reminded her I’m only seventeen.” Lo is the oldest, having turned eighteen in April. Caz and Theo turned eighteen in July, and Saint celebrated his birthday in early August. I’m the baby in the crew, but it’s not something we ever dwell on, which is why I’m guessing it never even crossed the guys’ minds.
“Holy shit. I’d totally forgotten that.”
I shrug. “It’s no biggie. At least it makes her choice a little easier.”
We spend the next couple hours poring over websites, getting all the information we need on obtaining a marriage license and learning about everything else we might need to give our girl a special day. We can’t organize anything until we talk to the others about where this should take place. Getting married in Lowell or Prestwick or any area where we’re known is a big no-no, so city hall looks like the best option, but we need to speak to the guys and to Lo, to ensure they are happy with that, and then we can make more concrete plans.
The front door slams open, and I swivel in my chair, watching Saint storm into the house like a force of nature. “What’s up?” I ask, sensing his dark mood.
“The asshole called me while we were in the jewelry store,” he seethes. “He wants us back at the house tonight.”
“Aw, fuck.” Caz places his elbows on the table, resting his chin in his hands. “I don’t want to leave.”
“It sucks,” Theo agrees. “But we knew it was coming.”
“I thought we’d at least get until Sunday.” He pouts.
“Where’s Lo?” Saint asks, looking around.
“In the garden on the outskirts of the forest at the back,” I explain.
“I’ll get her. Start packing,” Saint commands, slamming the door on his way back out.
“Did you get a ring?” I inquire.
“We got rings,” Theo says, grinning. “An engagement ring and wedding band.” He pulls two boxes from his inside pocket, quickly showing us the contents.
“Good choice.” I squeeze his shoulder. “She’ll love them.” They’re not traditional rings, but Lo’s not a traditional bride. She’s always marched to her own beat, and I’m glad the guys picked a ring that speaks to her personality.
“We got flowers and champagne too,” he adds. “We hid them in the car.”
We hurry upstairs to our rooms, packing our shit, and it’s not long before the sounds of more footfalls thud on the stairs. When I’m finished grabbing my things, I head to Lo’s room to see if she needs any help.
“Need a hand?” I ask, leaning my hip against the door frame.
“Could you grab my toiletries from the bathroom?”
“Sure.” I meander into her room, stopping to kiss her briefly.
She hands me a large zip-up bag with a purple leopard-print pattern. “Just dump everything in there.”
I load up her toiletries and help her stuff the last of her clothes in her duffel bag, then I zip it up, ignoring her protests as I carry it out of the room. Saint comes out of his room at the same time, and he grabs both our bags, racing down the stairs.
We pile into the car as Lo activates the alarm and locks the front door. Saint helps her into the passenger seat while I tap out a message to Mom telling her I’ll be over to see her tomorrow. I’ve been checking in daily with Mrs. Murphy, the housekeeper-slash-babysitter I hired to keep an eye on Mom, and I know she’s gone off the rails again, because she disappeared for twenty-four hours. I wish I could say it’s a shock, but the simple truth is, it’s expected. I knew the stress of the explosion, and her daily hospital visits, would get to her and she’d turn to her usual crutch.
I feel like a selfish prick for saying this, but being here this week, away from dealing with Sinner’s shit, and Mom’s shit, has been a welcome relief. Sometimes, I just get so sick of my life.
I glance at the cabin as we drive off, wishing I could continue to hide from my responsibilities, but I’ve always known this was only a temporary reprieve from my fucked-up life. It’s time to return to reality, and as I rest my head against the window, I wonder what kind of shitstorm awaits us back in Lowell.
CHAPTER 11
Harlow
BILE CRAWLS UP my throat as Saint turns the Land Rover into Mom’s driveway, and I visibly cringe at the sight of a house I once loved. Sinner has ruined that for me too. Taken all the wonderful, happy moments I shared with my parents in that house and trampled all over them. I shouldn’t dread returning home. But I do. I have no idea what lies in store for us behind those beautiful walls. Saint has been tight-lipped the whole journey home, and I don’t know if it’s because he’s worried about what Sinner expects or he’s salty because I haven’t reached a decision.
Saint parks in the garage, and we slowly climb out of the car. No one speaks, and it’s like the shadow of doom is hanging over us.
“Well, this shit is depressing,” Caz says as he unloads our bags on the garage floor. “We should hit the curb.” He flashes me a toothy grin, and my lips twitch.
“That’s a new one for me,” I admit. “But I’m guessing it means party?”
“Yep,” he says, popping the P. He slings his arm around my shoulders. “We should get fucked up. One last hoorah before shit rains down on us.”
“I like the sound of that. I’m betting Ashley knows of a party.”
“Find out,” Saint says, “but don’t make any concrete plans. We don’t know what Sinner wants yet.”
I tap out a message to Ashley Shaw and repocket my phone, following the guys into the house via the laundry room.
Theo heads to one of the drawers in the kitchen, pulling out a bunch of takeout menus. “Pizza?” he suggests, and we all nod. He makes the call while I wander through the lower level, seeking Mom. Saint trails behind me while Caz and Galen take our bags up to the bedrooms. I open and close all the doors downstairs, but there’s no sign of life, which is odd, because Mom’s car and Sinner’s truck are in the garage.
“Have you made a decision?” Saint blurts as I poke my head in Dad’s study.
I shake my head. “I’ve only had a few hours to think about it. You need to give me more time than that.”
He shuffles awkwardly on his feet, running his hands back and forth across his shorn locks. “I’m trying to be patient, but it doesn’t come naturally.”
I smile, walking toward him. “Oh, I know that all too well, Saintly.” I clasp his face in my hands, planting a hard kiss on his lips, before I rest my brow on his forehead. “I promise I won’t take too long, but don’t rush me. This decision is too important to rush.”
He wraps his arms around me, pressing my head into his chest, and I lean against him, siphoning some of his warmth and his strength. “I don’t mean to pressure you. I just can’t help it sometimes.”
I snort, and the sound is muffled against his chest. “I never want you to change,” I supply when I feel him tensing against me. “I love you just the way you are.”
Silence filters in the tiny gap between us, and I lift my head, peering up at him. Sliding my hands up to rest on his shoulders, I smile at the shocked expression on his face. I’ve never told Saint I love him, but he’s the most arrogant of my guys, and I felt for sure he’d know it. However, there’s always been a vulnerability with Saint, so it’s not really surprising he doesn’t believe it.
I wonder if anyone has ever told him he is loved?
Sinner sure as fuck doesn’t have it in him, and he’s never known his mother.
“I love you, Saint Lennox.” My voice rings out loud and proud, and I stare deep in his eyes as I admit my truth. “I think I fell in love with you the instant our eyes connected that day at the warehouse.”
“You love me?” he splutters, and the awestruck, hopeful look in his eyes hurts me as much as it overjoys me.
“Completely and utterly.” I palm his face, bringing his mouth to mine. I kiss him softly, pouring everything I feel for him into every sweep of my lips, and his mouth moves tenderly against mine, in a way that isn’t usual, sending my heart careening around my chest.
This guy. He’s such a conundrum, but I wouldn’t change a single thing about him.
He’s perfect for me.
“For now and forever,” I add over his lips. “To the ends of time.”
“Lo.” His tone is barely louder than a whisper and dripping with emotion. “I know I fell in love with you that day we first met because you’ve consumed my thoughts from that very first second.” He threads his hands in my hair, gripping my neck, moving our faces even closer. “But I didn’t realize it until recently because I’ve never known what love feels like. You’ve shown me that.”
Tears sting the backs of my eyes, and my heart is so full it feels like it could burst.
“You own me, body, heart, and soul.” His eyes flood with adoration. “I love you too, Harlow. Always have. Always will.”
We move like magnets, clinging to one another as we kiss like we’ll never get to do it again. Our hearts beat in sync as we drink from one another, our kissing growing more heated the longer it continues, and I could happily stay here in Saint’s arms, letting his drugging kisses distract me, but I’ve got a decision to make, and I don’t want to drag it out, because that’s not fair to any of them.
Reluctantly, I break the kiss, resting my head on his chest, listening to his heart thump under my ear. “You make everything feel right, princess,” Saint whispers. “And I’ll be okay with whatever you decide.” I’m not sure if he’s trying to convince himself, or me, but, deep down, we both know that’s a lie.
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