“Thought you could use this.” He climbs into the tub, passing the lit blunt to me.
I rarely indulge, but I so need to get out of my head right now. “You know me well.” I accept the blunt, pulling a few long drags, drawing the heady scent deep into my lungs.
We pass it back and forth in amicable silence, and it doesn’t take long for me to feel the effects. Water sloshes as I crawl toward Theo, grinning as I straddle his lap.
“You feeling good, babe?” He runs his hands up my body, his fingers brushing against the underside of my breasts.
“I am, but you know what would make me feel really good?” I purr, leaning down to nip at his earlobe.
“My cock buried deep in your pussy?” His smile is knowing as his fingers tweak my nipples, and both buds harden at his sensual touch.
“Ding, ding, ding. Gold medal for the winner,” I tease, as I lift my hips, grip his hard cock, and position myself over it.
Theo holds my face, kissing me with his lips and his tongue as I slide down over his shaft. We moan as my cunt grips his dick, and I smile as I run my fingers through his gorgeous hair. “Love you,” I whisper, rubbing my nose against his.
“Love you too.”
I ride him, slowly at first, keeping my hands on his shoulders to control my movements. The weed has removed the pain from my ribs, and I’m wondering why the fuck I didn’t smoke earlier in the week. Theo grips my hips, helping me to move up and down on his throbbing length, while he face-plants my chest, licking and sucking my tits as I bounce on top of him. When we’re both close, I get on all fours, and Theo slides inside me from behind. He thrusts inside me in one fast move but slowly eases back out so I feel every inch of him gripping my inner walls, and he does it over and over, driving me crazy with lust.
His fingers find my clit while he holds my hip with his other hand, and we orgasm together, moaning and writhing, like two people intimately acquainted with one another.
After, he lifts me out of the tepid bath, patting me dry and helping me into one of his T-shirts. We curl up in bed, and it doesn’t take my overwrought brain long to fall asleep.
I wake up sometime in the middle of the night with my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, craving water. Careful not to wake Theo, I creep out from under the covers and tiptoe out of his room. I check on Mom first.
She’s still fast asleep, and Caz is snoring in the chair, the blanket pooled by his feet on the floor. I check Saint’s room and Galen’s room, finding Galen passed out, but Saint’s bed is empty, meaning he’s still on guard duty downstairs.
I walk downstairs, finding him at the kitchen counter, pouring coffee down his throat in an attempt to keep awake.
“Hey.”
He jumps, spilling coffee down the front of his shirt.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“What are you doing up?” His eyes trail the length of my bare legs.
“I woke up thirsty.”
He slides off the stool, walking to the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of water.
“Thanks.” I kiss his lips quickly as I accept the water, hauling myself up onto the stool beside him.
“No sign of the bastard, I assume,” I say, uncapping my water.
He shakes his head. “He’s most likely crashing at HQ, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”
I glance at the clock. It’s five a.m., and it’s unlikely he’ll return any time soon. Sinner likes to burn the midnight oil, and he rarely surfaces before midday. “You should go to bed. You look tired.” I rub at the shadows under his eyes. “I’m going to watch over Mom for a while. I doubt I’ll be able to go back to sleep, and I have some thinking to do.”
“He’s a sick bastard,” he seethes, and a muscle pops in his jaw. “I’d like to say I’m surprised he’d do that to the woman he claims to love, but I’ve seen how he’s treated his girlfriends over the years. He’s a complete prick, and I doubt he’s finished using Giana to get to you.”
“Which is why I need to make my decision. There is no time to waste.”
“There isn’t,” Saint agrees, sliding his cell to me. “I was going to show you this in the morning.”
I read the text from Sinner confirming there will be a junior chapter meeting held next Friday evening. He’s requested my presence, and that’s all I need to know.
I hand him back his phone, sipping my water. “Can we pull it off on such short notice?”
“It’ll be tight, but we’ll make it happen. Sinner isn’t the only one with useful contacts.”
“Good.” I climb down, tugging on his arm. “Come on. Bed for you.”
I kiss Saint at his door, ignoring the pull to go inside. My pussy is such a greedy bitch.
Caz is grumpy when I wake him, refusing to trade guard duty with me, until I threaten to withhold sex, and he bolts like a racehorse let out of the gate.
I pull the covers up over Mom before settling in the chair to think. My head is clearer thanks to the weed and my talk with Saint earlier. Since the guys proposed the marriage idea to me yesterday morning, my emotions have veered all over the place, but I know what I should do now.
I pretty much ruled Theo and Caz out straightaway. On paper, Theo is the ideal husband, and we share an intense connection. He knows me inside and out, and his tender care of me tonight only cements that opinion.
But Theo is still confused over his sexuality, and there are feelings between him and Caz, which is something I don’t want to get in the middle of. I don’t want to tie either of them into marriage with me, because that could confuse things. I know they love me. That they will always be in my life, but I don’t want to put restraints on either of them.
So, that left Galen and Saint, and that’s been my biggest dilemma—which Lennox cousin to choose.
I could see myself marrying Galen because his pain speaks to mine and we lash out in the exact same way. Out of all my relationships, that is the one that has grown the most. Galen has opened himself up to me, and it’s a beautiful thing. I’ve also seen the life he leads, and, arguably, he needs me more than the others.
But, so does Saint. He’s never known love. He’s never known anything but hate. I’ve watched him today, when he thinks I’m not looking, and I know he thinks he’s hiding his feelings, but he can’t hide from me anymore. He’s been wearing his vulnerability on his sleeve all day.
I made the decision after our talk, but then all that shit went down, and I needed time to reflect on it, to make sure I’m sure.
And I am.
It’s not because Galen graciously bowed out, making the decision easier, although I love him for telling me and trying to ease my pain. When it boils down to it, I would be making this choice even if Galen still had a horse in the race.
Saint is the most obvious choice—he’s junior chapter leader, Sinner’s son, and he carries the most clout—but that’s not the reason either.
Out of all my guys, Saint would be the one most devastated if I didn’t choose him. He would see it as a rejection, and it would gut him.
The others will understand and be fine with it. I’m confident about that, but Saint would carry that pain in his heart forever, and I cannot hurt him like that. I won’t hurt him, because I love him too much to not give him this.
If I’m really honest with myself, it has always been Saint, because I fell in love with him first—at thirteen, during one of the worst moments in my life. The connection we forged that day never went away. For either of us.
I smile to myself as the angsty feeling in my chest disappears, replaced with a calm peace. Butterflies invade my chest, fluttering around, making me feel giddy. When the guys first suggested this, I thought they were all swinging from the cray-cray tree. But now it’s clear they know me even better than I know myself, because this isn’t a means to an end, this isn’t a burden, and this is always the way it was meant to be.
And I’m excited.
I want to marry Saint, and screw anyone w
ho says we’re too young to know what’s in our hearts, because they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about. I used to want a marriage like my parents had, but it’s become obvious their marriage wasn’t the fantasy I built it up to be.
What I have with Saint—with all my guys—is as fucking real as it gets.
They would take a bullet for me, and I would take a bullet for them.
We don’t sugarcoat shit, telling it straight, no matter how painful the truth is.
We fight as much as we fuck.
But when it comes down to it, we are there for one another with no questions asked.
Their love isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It’s rough, it’s tough, and sometimes it hurts, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, because we’re a team. I may be marrying Saint Lennox, but in my heart, I will be marrying all of them, and nothing or no one is ever going to tear us apart.
Especially not Neo “Sinner” Lennox.
CHAPTER 13
“WHERE ARE YOU going?” Caz asks, ambling into the kitchen, rubbing his tired eyes, as I snatch my jacket from the back of the chair.
“I’ve got a few errands to run.” I’m deliberately vague, because I don’t want them to know what I’m up to.
“I’ll come with,” he offers, stifling a yawn.
I shake my head, tweaking his nose. “Nope. This is something I need to do alone.”
“Babe.” He places his hands on my hips. “You know we don’t want you going out by yourself. Especially after what went down yesterday. Sinner is a loose cannon. You shouldn’t go out without one of us.”
“I know how to take care of myself. I have my Glock and my knife, and I won’t be entirely alone. I’m meeting Ashley.”
“You are?” He quirks a brow. “I didn’t think you two were that close.”
“We’re not, but she’s helping me with something.” I tweak his nose again. “Something important.” I peck his lips superfast. “Something secret.” I waggle my brows.
He sighs. “Saint won’t like this.”
“I’ll probably be back before he even knows I’m gone.” My tongue darts out, wetting my lips, and I love the instant hungry glaze that glints in Caz’s eyes and how his gaze automatically lowers to my mouth. “Actually, let’s meet at the barn. We need to talk.”
“You mean…”
I kiss him quickly, smiling as I ease out of his hold. “I’ve made my decision.” I swat his ass as I walk in the direction of the garage. “I’ll text you when I’m done.” Blowing him one final kiss, I leave the kitchen.
Sliding behind the wheel of Dad’s Gran Turismo is comforting. It’s a bit like returning to your own bed after weeks of sleeping in a hotel bed. I make a mental note to ask the guys about my Lexus. I’ve no clue what happened to it after the bomb. I know it’s virtually indestructible, and the bomb didn’t go off underneath my SUV, but I imagine the damage was still extensive. I don’t know if it’s salvageable or if I should be ordering a new custom one. The reasons Dad wanted me to drive it haven’t changed, and it would give the guys peace of mind when I go off by myself.
The engine on the sports car hums beautifully when I power her up, and I settle back in my seat, cranking the music up high as I peel out of the garage, heading toward the city.
Ashley is waiting outside the studio when I arrive an hour later.
“Harlow.” She leans in, hugging me. “It’s good to see you out and about. You seemed in so much pain at the funeral.”
“I’m okay. Still in one piece. I’ve a couple of minor cuts and scrapes, and there is some lingering bruising and soreness around my ribs, but I’ve endured worse.”
“I was talking about emotional pain. How are you holding up?”
I shrug. “To be honest, I’m trying not to think about it. We have a lot on our plate, and we can’t afford for me to fall apart.” Pressure settles on my chest. “She’s still the first thing on my mind every day though,” I truthfully admit.
“I know no one can ever replace Sariah, but I meant what I said at the church. I’m here for you.”
“I appreciate it, and thanks for setting up this appointment. Especially at such short notice, and on a Sunday too.”
Her face lights up, and she loops her arm through mine. “I was glad to help. Michelle takes amazing pictures, and my family sends a lot of business her way, so she didn’t mind doing this today.”
We head into the studio, and Ashley introduces me to the photographer, leaving us to talk about my ideas while she goes to grab takeout coffee from the little coffee place down the road.
The photo shoot is fun, and I’m grinning like a loon, imagining the expression on the guys’ faces when they see them, as we step out into the chilly November air a couple hours later.
Ashley and I grab a quick bite to eat at a Mexican diner before parting ways. I had thought of inviting her to come with me to the vintage designer store, but I dismissed the idea as fast. While she’s given me no reason to distrust her, too much is riding on this strategy to let anyone else know what we’re planning to do.
_______________
I step into the store, fluffing out my hair and removing my scarf as I wait for one of the assistants to approach me. I have shopped at this store before, so I’m hoping they’ll have something that fits my vision. I know I could purchase something off-the-rack in one of the wedding stores, but I highly doubt a traditional wedding store will have the type of look I’m after, and we’re tight on time because this will be a quick courthouse wedding.
The store manager, Maggie, recognizes me, rushing forward to greet me, hugging me like I’m a long-lost friend. I explain what I’m after, and she squeals, rubbing her hands in delight, while she dashes around the store, grabbing a few items.
A half hour later, I’m standing in front of the mirror in the changing area, fighting a massive grin.
“You look absolutely perfect,” Maggie says, fluffing out the white layered tulle skirt. I fix the white lace leggings in place, admiring how shapely they make my legs look. “It’s definitely got that whole Madonna eighties vibe. You’re gorgeous.”
“I love it.” I hold out my arms, and she slips the short, white, fitted jacket over my arms. It complements the outfit, ensuring it doesn’t come across as slutty. My midriff is on display, because the tight white crop top stops a few inches under my boobs, but the neckline is high, so it’s not indecent. I opt for a pair of white high heels with a silver trim, and a sparkly silver clutch completes the look.
She packages up the clothing and boxes up the shoes and purse, and then I’m on my merry way.
I stop at a wedding store to pick up the silver tiara I ordered last night, because a queen can’t get married without a crown, duh, and then I visit the jewelry store I found online, explaining the type of wedding band I’m after to the amused man behind the counter. The second he takes out the tray, I spot the perfect ring. It’s a link wedding band in black tungsten, and there’s enough room on the inside to add the inscription I want.
I’m worried he’s having a coronary when I tell him I need four rings for my four grooms, and I wish I could record the moment because the guys would get such a kick out of the shocked look of horror on his face, but when I pass my platinum card over, he quickly gets over himself. I pay a premium to get a rush job on the engraving, and he promises to have all four rings for me to collect in a couple days.
I text Caz as I’m walking back to my car, arranging to meet them at the barn in an hour. Saint messages me a couple minutes later to confirm he has some guys coming to the house to watch over Mom while we’re gone, and that eases a layer of stress off my shoulders. I need to talk to her later. To see if I can convince her to move someplace safe, and I’m waiting for Diesel to call me back.
I blast Paramore as I drive toward Prestwick, a deep contentment sinking bone-deep. My life might be a shitshow at the moment, but making this commitment to my guys feels incredibly right, and I have zero doubts.
I
arrive before them, using the code to let myself in through the gate.
A blast of heat hits me the second I enter the barn, and my heart warms at Theo’s thoughtfulness. I don’t need proof to know he dialed in remotely to switch the heating on.
I’m remarkably calm as I kick off my shoes, grab a beer, and settle on the couch to wait for my guys.
Butterflies swoop into my chest as the rumble of an engine grows louder and then it cuts out, right outside.
“Honey, we’re home!” Caz calls out, bursting through the door first, and I grin as I get to my feet, walking around the couch to greet the guys who are my everything.
I fling my arms around Caz, and he dips me down low as he slams his lips on mine, kissing me hard, making me dizzy with need.
“Dude, her ribs,” Galen chastises him, and Caz pulls us upright, breaking our lip-lock.
“It’s cool,” I say as Galen plants his hands on my hips, lowering his head to kiss me.
“You okay?” he whispers over my lips, and I smile as I cup his gorgeous face.
“I’m more than good.” I nuzzle my nose in his neck, inhaling his citrusy, woodsy scent
He nods, pecking my lips one final time before handing me to Theo.
Theo wraps his arms around me, hugging me to him, and his body heat seeps into mine, warming me all over. “Love you,” he says in a low voice so only I can hear. “And I’m fine with whatever you’ve decided.” His mouth slides against mine, and it’s the softest, sweetest brushing of our lips, but it’s everything.
Theo releases me, walking to the couches to join the others as Saint and I stare at one another. His eyes burrow into mine, and I know he wishes he could delve into my mind and find the truth. “Come here,” he demands, and his deep, raw tone sends delightful shivers coursing down my spine. I step toward him, and he pulls me close, slanting his mouth over mine in a long, deep, slow, passionate kiss that is tinged with pain and fear.
The Sainthood : A Dark High School Romance (The Complete Series) Page 66
