by JD Hawkins
“Oh yeah,” I say, as if struggling to remember. “She mentioned you dated for a little bit once. I think she forgot herself.”
“It was a year,” Theo says, looking at me incredulously, as if he’d care that she forgot him. Only caring because of what he sees now.
“How did you lose her?” I ask.
“I didn’t… She… It just didn’t work out,” he says.
I laugh at him, only half attempting to make it sound good-natured.
“No, I’m sorry,” I say, making a show of stopping myself from laughing. “I’m sure your wife-to-be is wonderful. God knows I’m glad it didn’t work out for my own sake—I’m obsessed with her. Can’t stop thinking about her. She makes every other woman look irrelevant. No offense, by the way.”
“Oh, uh…none taken. Don’t worry,” Theo says, sounding even more exasperated as he looks out at her beside me, a few of the streaming guests patting him and offering congratulations. He looks almost afraid, almost regretful.
“Gives you some perspective,” I continue, really rubbing some salt into him, “especially when you throw billions around for a living. Just looking at her teaches you what real beauty is, real happiness, real gratitude.”
“Yeah…” he says limply, almost like he’s breathing so hard he’s losing strength. I finally turn to him.
“Speaking of which—you wanted to pitch something to me?”
“Yeah…yeah,” he says, desperately gathering himself, pulling out his pocket handkerchief to dab the sweat that’s matting his hair and beading around his nervous, red face. “It’s, um, it’s called ‘Algolas’ and what it—it’s supposed to be—I mean, it is—is a third-party solution for logistics and organization—”
“Oh, another data management company,” I say carelessly.
“It’s more than that… But fundamentally, I guess you could say it is.”
“What data do you have access to—other than your clients’?”
“Um… Well, I mean it’s still quite early in the process, so—”
“Come on,” I say, chuckling gently. “You know a data company is only as good as its dataset. A bigger company with more to work with can do all sorts of things you can’t without it.”
“Sure…I know… But it’s a bit more than that… You see, what we do is we use—”
“Don’t tell me,” I say, raising a finger to stop him—Theo so enraptured with the idea of pitching me that he responds by shutting up. “You’re seconds away from saying ‘machine learning’ and ‘AI,’ right?” I laugh politely, but dismissively.
“You know…we have this really unique algorithm.”
I laugh again and pat him condescendingly on the arm. “Of course you do,” I say, patronizingly. “You and every other start-up in the valley. Never mind. Maybe we can talk again in a few years—if the bubble doesn’t pop by then! Ha ha!”
I chuckle, as if destroying his entire life’s ambition wasn’t worth anything more, then grab his hand in a hurry and pump it.
“Forget about all that,” I say, punching him in the shoulder. “You’re getting married! I heard you only met her a few months ago?”
“Yeah…but about the algorithm—”
“Still, I’d give it better odds than this ‘Legolas’ thing,” I say, laughing again. “Never mind. Congratulations.”
I pat him on the arm again and move away toward the seats, toward Hazel—easily able to pretend that I can’t hear his faint, timid attempts to call me back.
It’s easy to find her in that red dress, and I sit down next to her, glaring at a guy beside her who’s ogling her a little too much. When he notices my look, he turns as red as her dress and then hurriedly looks away.
Hazel looks at me and laughs strangely—not nervous, more like the nerves escaping her body. “Oh my God,” she giggles, putting a hand over her mouth. “I can’t believe we did that.”
“You see the look on his face?”
“I hate myself for enjoying it this much,” she says, and I laugh as I rest my arm on the back of her chair. “What did you say to him just now?”
“Nothing much,” I say, shrugging. “I just reminded him of what an idiot he was to let you go. And then told him the truth about his start-up—without the politeness I’d usually use for that sort of thing.”
Hazel laughs again, and then her eyes flick away from me and I turn to see Theo walking up the aisle with his best man and the priest. He looks back at us, weakly tossing a desperate smile in our direction, as if we’re now the only people here that he cares about.
The guests are all seated now, and a hush passes over everyone as they stand in rigid positions. Music strikes up, and a few seconds later a reasonably pretty but heavily made up woman in a dress like an over-decorated meringue starts walking up the aisle, but Theo still can’t help stealing glances at us and I almost start to feel embarrassed for the guy.
Once the bride has made it beside Theo and the priest starts talking, the only thing I can think about are Hazel’s crossed legs beside me, her tender thighs in that red dress. I put my hand on her knee and she turns to smile sweetly at me, a little shyly even, her head down, making her eyes look big. Maybe this wedding is getting her feeling a little romantic.
I lean toward her and speak in her ear.
“Let’s get out of here.”
She pulls back to shoot me a surprised look, then puts her lips so close to my ear I can’t help but find it erotic.
“They haven’t even finished the ceremony!”
I put my lips close to her ear again, making sure to brush it a little.
“We’ve done what we came here to do. And anyway, I think we’re distracting Theo—he’s looking at you more than his wife-to-be.”
Hazel laughs and a few heads turn in our direction until she stifles it with her hand.
I guess Theo and the bride kiss then, because there are suddenly hollers and cheers around us, people standing up and clapping—the first sign of life since this wedding started. But to me, it’s just the perfect opportunity.
I take Hazel’s hand and stand up, moving her chair aside so we can slip through the guests and run back through the esplanade before everyone settles in their seats once again.
We stop only once we’re back in the parking lot, Hazel laughing and looking guiltily at me though she doesn’t let go of my hand.
“I can’t believe you made me do that. It’s so rude.”
“Nobody noticed,” I say as we walk back to the car, her swinging my arm playfully. “Besides, what were we gonna do? Stick around so you could dazzle everyone on the dance floor with that dress? And have me throw out a few business cards so everyone knows what a rich and powerful man you bagged?”
Hazel laughs and says, “I mean, that was kind of the idea, wasn’t it?”
“Much better to leave him stunned. If Theo doesn’t get it now, he never will,” I say, twirling her into my arms when we’re near the car. “Anyway, don’t they say the best revenge is living well? Watching a bunch of people I don’t know pretend a three-month affair can be a long-term marriage isn’t my idea of living well.”
She looks up at me as I squeeze her in my arms, and I’m not even sure why I’m still pretending we’re a couple—or how I can pretend I’m still pretending.
“That was amazing, I have to admit. He was kinda freaked out when he saw us, wasn’t he?” she says.
“I thought he was about to call the whole thing off.”
She sighs and shakes her head. “I knew the first thing he’d do would be to try to pitch you his dumb company.”
Shrugging, I say, “Anyway, forget that loser. Don’t we have your friend’s barbecue to go to?”
Hazel takes my arm from her side and looks at my watch.
“It’s in, like, five hours!”
I show her my most mischievous smile.
“However will we pass that much time…”
17
Hazel
Five hours should feel l
onger than this.
I’ve had one-hour dates that seemed to last an eternity, watched movies supposed to last two hours but which I’m sure were ten, worked eight-hour shifts that felt more like twenty. But five hours in Nate’s car, despite the physical excitement being this close to him still induces in me, goes by like five minutes.
He’d meant to drive me back to my place so I could change, but an idle comment he made about the Los Angeles sprawl led to me guiding him around the city, showing him all the shitty apartments I’d lived in, the farmer’s market I love so much, even the tiny ex-theatre where I performed as Laura Wingfield during the three months of my youth I thought I might become an actress.
We stop to grab shakes at a drive-through and just cruise around on Sunset for a while, enjoying the palm trees and the neon signs and the Hollywood vibes. Both of us start fooling around with the radio, talking about music—he confesses he was a Smiths kid, I confess that Christina Aguilera was the reason I started dyeing my hair. When Coldplay comes on we both roll our eyes and groan, but we still end up singing together by the chorus.
Somehow we find ourselves in Brentwood, ogling the gated Spanish style houses, the stately brick mansions, and—my favorite—the eclectic little bungalows tucked behind privacy hedges on quiet streets. Nate decides to pull over in a shady spot on one of the wooded hills that can’t be seen from the road so we can stretch our legs a little. “Stretching our legs” mainly involves Nate sitting on the hood of the car—our milkshakes warming beside him—while he holds me with my back pressed into him, and we alternate between appreciating the view of the valley spread out below and making out.
His arms around my front, my back against his chest, his head over my shoulder, I sip my milkshake and stroke the hand he has over my breast.
“What’s funny?” he asks, and I realize I just laughed out loud, even though we haven’t spoken for minutes.
“Huh? Oh…I was just remembering.”
“Remembering what?”
“How you were when we met at the hotel. All stern and distant and tortured and serious.”
“Was I? Am I not anymore?”
I laugh again and pat his hand. “Kinda hard to call a guy who drags you around the city before deciding to go swimming in his clothes ‘serious.’”
He laughs gently, quietly, and even his laugh isn’t quite as dark as I remembered it being before. Less tragic, more genuine. “I guess being in a different city…” he says. “Being with you…”
I turn back to look at him over my shoulder. “I think you’ve changed a little bit.”
He raises a brow, as if taken aback. “Is that a good thing?”
“Yeah. I mean, not that what you were like before was bad or anything…I dunno. It’s good to change. To be able to change. Do you think I’ve changed?”
He looks at me with those hard eyes, narrowing them as if studying me to discern the answer. Then, almost reluctantly, he says, “No. I don’t think you’ve changed at all. I wouldn’t want you to, anyway. You were already about as good as it gets.”
I laugh affectionately and he stifles it with a soft kiss again that seems to drain the time and push back the lurking, darker thoughts that we’re both delaying dealing with.
When our lips part again I take his hand and twist it so I can check his watch.
“Oh shoot,” I say, peeling away from him. “We should get going. Mia hates lateness.”
Twenty-five minutes later we’re pulling up outside Mia’s home and I can see in Nate’s eyes that he’s as enamored with it as I’ve always been.
“Nice place, huh?” I say.
“Yeah.” He nods, killing the engine and opening the door without taking his eyes from the beautifully arranged trees around the perimeter. “Great place to raise kids.”
He’s still looking so intently that he doesn’t notice my smile. I round the car and join him as we move up to the gate, his arm around my shoulders.
“So,” he begins, “it’s Colin and Mia who live here, right? Who have the kid?”
“Correct,” I say, laughing once again at Nate’s insistence at knowing their names beforehand. I guess it’s something he picked up from his job.
“And Toby—the Hawaiian shirt guy—is Colin’s—”
“Mia’s.”
“Oh yeah, of course. Mia’s brother.”
“Right.”
“And he’s married to…ah, I forgot her name again.”
“Maeve—and you won’t forget once you meet her, trust me.”
I’m still in the red dress, and Nate’s rolled his cuffs up his arms, his shirt a little wrinkled from our canyon road make-out. I feel almost a little gleefully embarrassed at how hot he looks.
As soon as we’re through the gate and emerge from the tree cover, we can see everyone gathered off to the side on the lawn. A table set up there and the smell of flame cooking hitting us like a wave. The tinny sound of a radio mingled with idle chatter.
“Whoa! Who’s this knockout?” Toby calls out from his deck chair, where he looks impossibly relaxed. Everyone else turns their heads in our direction.
Colin’s at the grill, Maeve’s setting the table, Mia’s got Alison in one arm and is shifting her high chair beside the table with the other, Toby setting his beer down to help her. Everything about them the moment we arrive so harmonious and pleasant it’s like they’re posing for a painting. The relaxed beauty of the scene is broken up though by a flurry of excitement as everyone pauses what they were doing to greet us.
Mia’s the last to say hello and tell Nate it’s good to see him again, and then his attention immediately turns to Alison with an easy smile.
“And who’s this sweetheart?”
“Say hello to Nate, Alison,” Mia chuckles, jogging her in her arms.
Nate sticks his tongue out and Alison giggles shyly. There’s a kind of happiness in his eyes that I’ve never seen before and I swap a look with Mia, the two of us acknowledging it.
“She likes you,” Mia says. “She’s usually a little wary of strangers.”
“Food’s done, by the way,” Colin says as he returns to the grill.
“Oh good,” Mia says, pulling away. “Take a seat. Nate, I’ll get you a beer.”
“No alcohol for me thanks,” he says quickly. “I’m leaving tonight so I’ll be driving.”
Mia freezes, looking at Nate, then me, then Nate again with a mild frown. “Tonight? I thought you were leaving tomorrow.”
“So did I,” Nate replies, “but an assistant booked the tickets, and I guess they didn’t realize it was for twelve-thirty in the morning, not the afternoon. They’re going through a tough time so I didn’t want to reschedule and let them know they made a mistake.”
“That’s sweet of you,” Mia says with a smile, swapping another knowing look with me. “Gimme a second and I’ll bring out some iced tea.”
“Christ, Mia,” Toby says as he takes his place at the table, “how much of that stuff are you making every day?”
“Hey, I’ll give you a hand with that,” Nate says as he joins Colin at the grill to plate up the burgers, sausages, and grilled vegetables.
“That dress is stunning,” Maeve says, and I notice that she’s slowly walking around me, studying me like a fascinating art exhibit.
“Thanks,” I reply. “Nate got it for me.”
“Did he now?” Toby says mischievously.
“I had to once I saw her try it on,” Nate says, coming back to the table to lay down a couple of platters.
“I’ll bet Theo’s head exploded when he saw you, right?” Toby says, grabbing a grilled burger bun before Colin has even put the plate down.
“Oh yeah, tell us all about the wedding,” Mia says, hurrying back to put down the pitcher of tea and then get Alison in her high chair.
Nate and I swap a look as everyone settles in and starts grabbing food, mixing salads, spooning beans, filling plates without ceremony, and then I let out a laugh.
“Kind of,�
�� I say.
“We didn’t really stay that long,” Nate adds.
“We definitely left a mark though.”
“Oh yeah.”
I shrug. “I kind of ended up feeling a little embarrassed for him.”
“Me too,” Nate agrees. “Especially when he stopped himself a couple of times—right in the middle of his vows—to look over at us.”
“Not at us, at Nate. You should have seen it—the second Nate mentioned he was an investor Theo did exactly what I expected him to.”
“No,” Nate says, turning to glance at me, “he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking at you.”
“No,” I say, drawing the word out disbelievingly.
“Absolutely. You could read the regret all over his face. He read his vows like he was confessing to a crime.”
That has Toby and Maeve cracking up.
“Trust me,” I insist, “I know Theo better than you do. The only thing on his mind after he met you was the potential money you’d throw at him.”
“I don’t think so. Looked to me like the sight of you in that dress made any little regret he had about the wedding ten times bigger.”
“Wait a moment, darling,” Maeve says.
The sound of someone else makes me realize both that I’d been talking to Nate as if we were the only ones there, and that everyone else is glancing at us with smiles once they saw how easy it was for us to ignore everyone else.
“You didn’t stay long?” she asks. “Why not? Sounds like you had the perfect setup for some delicious ‘rubbing-it-in.’”
I shrug and look at Nate again, who’s looking at me as if he’s as unsure of the answer as I am.
“You know…” I begin slowly, reaching to pull some sausages onto my plate, “after that initial rush of seeing him squirm…I kind of…I dunno. I kinda realized that I don’t care.”
As soon as I say it I notice a couple of smiles around the table, but more than that, saying it out loud feels so truthful that I almost surprise myself.
“I realized just how over Theo I am,” I go on. “Like…the idea of ever getting back with him just… Well, I wouldn’t.”
