Deborah smacked her hand to her mouth. "In love?" she repeated. "With each other?" The shock and disgust were all too evident in her tone of voice. She began to shake and then stood. "I'm sorry, I can't." Then she fled the room.
Adam glanced at Luc, saw the pain in his stepbrother's eyes and wanted nothing more than to go to him and embrace him.
"In love?" their dad roared, standing. "You can't be. You're brothers."
"Stepbrothers," Luc growled out. “We aren’t related by blood.”
"You think that makes a difference? You were raised together as brothers."
That was enough for Adam. His dad, who was his flesh and blood, hated him. Deborah, who had raised him since he was four years old, couldn't stand to be in the same room as him.
"Have you..." their dad swallowed. "Have you slept together?"
"Yes," Luc said, his chin raised in defiance.
In contrast, Adam bowed his.
"Disgusting," their dad hissed. "Utterly disgusting." He shook his head. "I'm going to speak to your mother. You two had best wait here." He marched out, slamming the door behind him.
Adam dropped his head into his hands and clenched his hair, not caring that his scalp burned with pain as he did so. He'd known this was how it would be. His body shook as he let out a violent sob. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, but now he couldn't hold back the tears. They poured out of him as though a floodgate had been opened, and he bawled like a baby. His parents hated him, thought he was disgusting; maybe he was. Maybe everything he had done with Luc made him a monstrous deviant. He shouldn’t love his stepbrother, but he did. Shame filled him, which only made him cry harder. He let go of his hair and pressed his fists against his eyes, pressing so hard he made stars explode behind his closed eyelids. He hated himself for doubting what he and Luc had, but he still found himself wanting to wind back the clock and take back everything they’d just said to their parents. But he couldn’t, anymore than he could erase the hate and disgust he’d seen on their faces from his mind. Because of a decision he’d made—to give in to his lust for Luc—his world was about to shatter around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Luc
Luc watched Adam crumple in on himself and there wasn't a damned thing he could do about it. He stood and moved to sit on the arm of Adam's chair, his hand moving to caress his brother's back. Adam jerked away.
"Not here," he whispered. "Not now."
Adam sounded so desperate and miserable, that it made Luc's heart ache. Tears sprang to his own eyes. He felt utterly naïve. He'd truly hoped their parents would be more understanding. At the very least he'd been sure his mum would be. But he'd been proved wrong in the worst possible way, and now there was a chance he'd lose his family for good. And so might Adam, which hurt him even more.
"It'll be okay," he heard himself saying.
"No, it won't be." Adam dipped his head further, his fingers turning white where they pressed against his skull. "We should have kept our secret."
Luc held his breath, waiting for Adam to say they shouldn't have started screwing around with each other at all. But he didn't. Whether he was thinking those words or not, Adam didn't say them out loud. Luc exhaled slowly. That was something, wasn't it? No matter how much hurt and anguish Adam was feeling, he still wanted them to be together. Luc hoped that was true, because they both needed to take something good away from this horrible situation.
"Let's just wait and see," he said. "I think they just need a little time to get their heads around the fact their sons are a couple."
Adam looked up, his eyes watery and cheeks damp. "Stop deluding yourself, Luc. Didn't you see the look in Mum's eyes? Or the expression on Dad's face? They hate us. They're disgusted by us." He dropped his hands to between his legs and curled them into loose fists. "What if they're right?"
"They're not." Luc slipped off the arm of the chair, onto his knees beside Adam. "We're not doing anything wrong."
He wanted to lay his hand on Adam's knee to offer some comfort, but he knew his brother wouldn't accept his touch right now. He fought down the urge to suggest they just leave. It wasn't too late to catch the last train if they hurried. Even if they did miss it, they were bound to be able to find a hotel room somewhere in the city centre. He doubted Adam would go, even though waiting felt like they were preparing to face an execution squad.
They lapsed into silence, Luc staying where he was—close, but not touching Adam. He wasn't sure how much time passed before Ken finally returned to the room. Alone. Luc felt like someone had punched him in the gut, but he looked up to meet Ken's gaze anyway, which was more than Adam managed to do.
"I think you should go," Ken said quietly.
"Go?" Adam asked, without lifting his head.
"I think it's best."
The pit of Luc's stomach churned. "We'll give you some time to think and talk," he said, in the most positive voice he could muster. "We'll come back tomorrow so we can all sit down and discuss this rationally." His head span when Ken shook his head.
"That's not a good idea."
Finally, Adam looked up, his eyes wide. "You're throwing me out?" His voice was a mixture of anger and despair.
Luc hoped that wasn't the case. It was too extreme a reaction. But Ken's hard expression didn't waiver. No warmth crept into his narrowed eyes as he met and held Adam's desperate stare.
"You're throwing me out?" Adam repeated, standing. "What about the dance school?"
"That's not your concern anymore," Ken said.
Adam shook his head and looked like he was about to say something. Instead, he hunched his shoulders and clenched his fists so hard his whole body shook. For a second, Luc feared Adam was going to try and punch his dad and that he would have to intervene to stop his brother from doing something reckless that they'd all regret.
"Like hell it's not my concern," Adam yelled.
"Watch your language," Ken said, although his voice sounded weak.
"I gave up everything to help you and Mum and now what? You don't need my help anymore because you think I'm a fucking deviant? Somehow you and Mum can teach all the classes, or afford to pay a dance teacher a full wage when you've been paying me a pittance for the last few years?"
Ken lifted his chin but remained silent. The hard look on his face was answer enough.
"Well that's just fucking great, Dad," Adam hissed. "I love you too."
Luc tried to grab Adam's shoulder, but his stepbrother shrugged him off and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Seconds later, the front door banged shut, rattling the house. Luc was torn between following Adam and staying and giving Ken a piece of his mind. Hell, he wanted to know where his mum was, so he could implore her to see reason. He decided Adam wouldn't go far and turned to face Ken.
"Don't do this to Adam," he said, crossing his arms.
"You both did this to yourselves. You're adopted," Ken said, his voice calm but strained. "Both of you. That means that, in the eyes of the law, you are brothers. So what you're doing..." he jerked his hand. "Carrying on together... it's incest."
Luc started to shake his head, but he knew he wouldn't be able to make Ken see any differently; not whilst everything was so fresh and raw, at least.
"I'm going to go and grab some of Adam's things," he said. "Just enough to tide him over for a few days. Let us know when you and Mum want to talk." He hesitated before leaving. "I don't believe for a second that either of you really want to cut ties with us both. I don't believe you'd cut us out of your lives, especially not Adam. He gave up everything to help you and Mum keep the dance school going. Everything. Don't ask him to give me up, too."
The words hurt as he spat them out, because deep down, he wasn't one hundred percent certain that, if Adam were forced to choose between him and their parents, Adam would choose him.
By the time Luc had packed some of Adam's things up and found his brother, it was too late for them to catch a tra
in. He eventually found Adam in the park, sitting on a bench with his hands stuffed inside his jacket pockets, staring across the green playing field to the trees beyond.
"They're really chucking me out then?" Adam asked gruffly, as Luc sat down beside him.
Luc fingered the small suitcase handle. "Not for good."
"Really?"
"They'll come around."
Adam hunched his shoulders. "You don't know that."
Adam was right, but he had to do something to make his stepbrother feel better about the situation. The pain Adam was going through was all his fault. He’d opened his big mouth and told Adam how he felt. He’d been the one who had wanted to talk to their parents, effectively pushing Adam towards that same realisation. He’d been the one who had sworn it would be okay. But it wasn’t. It was far from okay. Adam’s worst nightmare was coming true and it was all his fault. Somehow, he had to give his stepbrother the strength to get through it, even if that strength was built on false hope.
He turned, his knees knocking against Adam's. "I do," he said confidently. "They love you, Adam. They will come around and they will ask you to go back home."
Adam slumped down on the seat. "I'm not so sure."
"Come on," Luc said. "Let's go find somewhere to stay tonight. We can get a train back to my place tomorrow. You can stay as long as you want."
Adam nodded, but didn't move. "What am I meant to do?" He asked. "Move on, or live in limbo, waiting for them to change their mind and invite me home and back to the dance school?"
Luc had no idea what to say. He wanted to encourage Adam to live his life for himself, rather than their parents, but he doubted that sentiment would go down well. As difficult as it was for Luc to hold back, he knew it was something his stepbrother had to learn in his own way and his own time.
"Let's go get a hotel room," he reiterated. "Then we can talk properly. Okay?"
Adam nodded again and this time, stood and followed Luc out of the park.
It didn't take them long to get to the city centre and find a hotel with a spare room. Luc almost asked for a twin room, but decided against it, going for the double that would allow him to share a bed with Adam. If they let their parents’ shock and anger rip them apart, what would have been the point?
"Want to go and get some food?" he asked once they'd made their way up to the room. "Or we could order room service."
"I'm not hungry," Adam mumbled as he sat down on the edge of the bed, clasping his hands between his knees.
He looked more lost and fragile than Luc had ever seen him. Anger flashed through him. He could handle his parents being pissed at him, but the way they were treating Adam was beyond unfair. After all the years he'd given them and their fucking dance school, sending him away was the cruellest thing they could have done. All Adam had done—all either of them had done—was follow his heart for once in his fucking life.
He knelt down, pressing his chest against Adam's knees, which were pressed tightly together. Not that he knew what to say or do.
"I'm sorry." The words sounded weak and meaningless.
Adam stared into his eyes. "It's not your fault. I figured this would happen."
"But you still wanted to tell them?"
"We had to, didn't we? The longer we left it, the worse it would have been for all of us."
Luc nodded in agreement. He knew Adam was right, but it didn't make things any easier.
Adam unclasped his hands and placed them on either side of Luc's face. He dipped his lips to Luc's, kissing him softly and tenderly. It was a far cry from the kisses they normally shared, which were urgent, desperate and rough.
"I love you," Adam whispered. "That's not changed. I'm just not sure what we do next."
It felt like Luc's chest was suddenly filled with helium. He thought he might float into the air he was so giddy with relief.
"Enjoy each other?" he asked around the grin that had spread across his face. "Do we have to figure anything else out right now?"
Adam shook his head. "I suppose not."
"Come back to mine tomorrow. Give Mum and Dad a few days to let things sink in. They will come around." At least he hoped they would. If he thought it enough, maybe he could will it into reality.
"You keep saying that."
Luc squeezed Adam's knees. "Because I believe it. They love us. They're not going to turn their backs on us just because our relationship is a little unconventional. They're not like that."
"They threw me out, Luc."
"No. They asked you—us—to leave to give them some time to think. That's all."
Adam snorted and hooked his upper lip. "Do you really believe that? No bullshit, Luc. Don't say what you think I want to hear. Tell me what you really believe is going to happen."
"I believe that Mum and Dad love us both." He pushed himself up so he could kiss Adam again, his gesture nowhere near as tender as Adam's had been. "I think you need to let go of some of the tension you're feeling right now." He moved his hands to Adam's shoulders and massaged them. His stepbrother's muscles were tight and knotted. "You really need to loosen up."
Adam half smiled. "And I suppose you have a way of achieving that?"
"Of course." Luc brushed his lips against Adam's ear. "I could fuck the tension out of you."
He felt Adam shiver and hoped it was a good sign.
"Sounds good," Adam said, his hands moving to the small of Luc's back. "But I've got a better idea."
Luc raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"I could screw you."
Adam kissed, nipped and sucked at Luc's neck, almost certainly leaving a lasting mark. Not that Luc cared.
"I like the sound of that."
Most of all, Luc was glad that Adam's desire for him hadn't been dampened, or worse, destroyed, by their parents' reaction to their relationship. He stood and pushed Adam onto the bed, climbing on top of him as they kept kissing and touching one another, hands roving beneath clothing for a few seconds before they began to undress each other.
"Please tell me you've got supplies," Adam breathed, as he rolled them both over, so Luc was on his back.
"Jacket pocket," Luc told him. "I'm always prepared."
"Thank God."
"We're good, aren't we?" Luc asked, as Adam left a trail of hot kisses down his throat and chest.
"Would I be about to fuck you if we weren't?"
Luc chuckled. "I guess not."
"What was it you wanted me to do?" Adam asked, looking up. "Relax?"
Luc laughed harder, feeling the release of tension from his body.
Adam continued staring at him. "I love you. The whole world can hate us and tell us we're wrong, but I don't give a shit. I want to be with you. I've never wanted anyone or anything more in my life."
"You want me more than you want to be a professional dancer?" Luc asked.
Adam pursed his lips, his eyes sparkling. "Now that's a tough call." He kissed Luc. "Yes. I want you more." He swirled his tongue around Luc's earlobe. "Are we done talking about heavy shit? We've been talking in circles for the last ten minutes. There's nothing we can do to help Mum and Dad come to terms with the two of us being together. Thank you for trying to make me feel better, for trying to make me believe everything will be okay."
"Do you?" Luc asked.
Adam shook his head. "I guess I'm not as optimistic as you."
"You've got more to lose," Luc admitted, pain stabbing his chest.
"Yeah," Adam agreed. "But the one thing I'm not going to lose is you."
"I don't want to lose you either."
Adam grinned. "Good. Now that we've got that settled, can we stop talking?"
Luc laughed. "You were the one that just carried on the conversation." He laughed harder still when Adam's brow crumpled into an annoyed frown. "Yes, we can stop talking."
"Good. Because the only sounds I want to hear out of your mouth for the rest of the night are grunts groans and you telling me how amazing I am when I fuck you."
"You think you're that good, huh?" Luc smirked.
"I know I am."
Luc grabbed Adam and pulled him down, so their bodies were smashed together. "Then I'm looking forward to finding out."
Chapter Twenty-Five
Adam
Adam flicked through the ballet company brochure for at least the hundredth time that week. Not that he had much else to do. Luc had to work, so he'd spent his days getting to know the city. He also kept updating the dance school's social media feeds, hoping he wasn't overstepping. He figured that, until someone told him otherwise, it was still his task to do.
"Are you going to apply?" Luc asked.
He laid his arms over Adam's shoulders and rested his chin on his head.
Adam shrugged. "I don't think so."
"You obviously want to."
"I don't know what I want." Adam tipped his head back, dislodging Luc's chin. "Except you. Are you going to talk, or kiss me?"
Luc kissed him. "Both?"
Adam laughed, wrapped his hand around Luc's neck and pulled him back down so their lips crashed together once more.
"Mum and Dad need me at the dance school," he said, when their mouths parted. His lips were wet with Luc's saliva, prompting him to lick them to savour his stepbrother's taste. "I can't make plans. Not yet."
Luc wagged his forefinger back and forth. "The clock's ticking, Adam."
"I know." He only had two weeks left to apply if he was going to. "Even if I wanted to, I can't."
"Why?"
"I have to send in a video of me doing barre and centre work. In case you hadn't noticed, I don't have access to a dance studio anymore."
Luc pursed his lips. He pulled away from Adam and sat down beside him on the sofa. He plucked the brochure from him and set it down between them, before gathering Adam's hands into his own.
"Is that what's really stopping you? Because I'm pretty sure we could figure something out."
Adam shook his head. "Honestly? No."
"Then what is?"
"I told you. Mum and Dad need me at the dance school. Everyday you've told me that they will eventually come around. I'm trying really hard to believe that, Luc. But part of believing it is also acknowledging that I'll have to go back to work with them again. Which means I can't get my hopes up about dancing. It would be unfair of me to apply, audition and possibly get in, only to turn the place down to go back to teaching."
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