by S. C. Adams
I can’t stand around here, waiting for Nellie to magically appear. I’m not passive. I’m a man of action.
And I need to get my ass in gear.
I don’t know where to start looking for her, but I’ll feel a whole lot better if I’m actually doing something as opposed to calling her phone over and over again like a stalker.
I go downstairs and grab my keys and jacket. I guess I could start with Nellie’s apartment. I don’t think she’s been there since we moved in together. Maybe she wanted to get something from her house?
I’m about to leave when the door starts to open.
When it’s opened fully, I see that it’s Nellie. She’s back and looks totally fine. There isn’t a scratch or cut on her body, and her hair and clothing look normal. The relief that washes over my body almost knocks me off my feet.
“Nellie,” I say. I immediately bring her into a hug, needing to feel her curvy body against mine. I’m so overjoyed that it takes me a moment to realize that she’s gone limp against me.
I pull away, my hands on her shoulders. Looking at her face, I notice that she’s been crying. In fact, she’s been crying a lot. Her eyes are red like she’s been rubbing them, and her cheeks are wet with tears.
“Nellie?”
“How could you?” she demands. I’m shocked for a second. I’m not sure what she’s going on about. I’m just about to ask her, but then, I realize that she knows.
Nellie knows what I’ve done.
19
Nellie
A few hours earlier.
I get back home, and Zac helps me bring all the bags upstairs. Looking at my haul, I’m quite satisfied with what I brought back from my mall trip with Amy. It a lot of things, but I think they were all necessary.
Everything is tossed haphazardly in my room. I’m not about to make Zac stand there while I try to find the best way to organize things. He’s already done so much to help me out. Organizing can be a job for me once he’s gone. I turn to him, so grateful for his help. It would have taken me ages if I had to do this alone.
There’s a high chance I would have given up and made Nash help me when he got him.
“Thank you, Zac. I really appreciate this.”
“No problem, Miss Newman. It really was nothing, but I appreciate the thanks nonetheless. Is there anything else you need?”
“No, no. That’s it. You can leave for the day. Sorry if carting me around was tiresome. Nash insists on having someone drive me around.” My car has been sitting in the driveway ever since I got here. Nash wanted to buy me a new one, but that felt a little too extravagant. Plus, I love my little ragamuffin. She may be old and creaky, but we’ve gotten this far together. I’m just not quite ready to give her up.
So instead, Nash has someone drive me around. That’s our compromise.
He is persistent, though. Nash keeps talking about how he’s supposed to take care of me and buying a car really isn’t that big of a deal for him and blah blah, I should just let him, blah. They aren’t particularly convincing arguments, but I can feel myself about to crack. I’m going to end up letting him get me whatever it is he wants to get me.
Things tend to be easier when he gets his way. Plus, I don’t mind it when he gets his way to be honest. It makes him very alpha and masculine, whereas I’m feminine and soft.
Zac nods again.
“It’s my job, Miss Newman. I would happily do it whenever you require me. Anyway, you could never be an inconvenience.”
“Oh, thank you,” I wave off his compliment. Taking out my wallet, I get some cash out to tip. I know all too well how tips pay the bills in jobs like Zac’s.
“You’re much too generous,” he says, accepting my small offering.
“And you’re much too nice. I’ll see you later.”
I wave goodbye to Zac, and he heads out. Once I’m alone, I fall onto the bed I haven’t been in since that one nap I took. My arms and legs are spread out, getting all up in the soft covers. Wow, it feels so nice. This bed is still comfortable as all hell. Maybe even more so than the one on Nash’s room.
But I still prefer his because he’s in it.
I roll over on to my side and hold up my head up with my hand. Now that I’m all alone, I can’t help but think about everything Amy and I talked about. I thought I could push it out of my mind, even just for a couple hours. But it’s been rolling around, pawing at me all day.
I mean, a baby! That’s crazy. Not for my friend, of course. I feel like Amy is going to go through pregnancy like a breeze. In the upcoming months, things will be great, and I can’t wait to go on this journey with her.
But the thought of me being pregnant?
Oh, boy.
Having a child wasn’t even something I contemplated before because I was in no position to raise a child. Not with all the bills and Mackenzie and Madison and Vivica and Brian on my plate. Plus, I was training to be a CPA. It just wasn’t a good idea. It wasn’t even an idea!
Would it be a good idea now? Do I want to have Nash’s baby? I think I might. I mean, we’re in a position where we could provide everything a child could ever need or want. I’m not sure if I’d be a good mother, but Madison and Mackenzie both love me. But I know it would be different with a child of my own.
But does Nash want me to have his baby? That’s the even bigger question. We’ve never talked about it. We haven’t even talked about having a real relationship once this deal is over.
Maybe before totally freaking out over what could be nothing, I should check to see if I actually am pregnant. Either way, I’m going to need to have a talk with Nash about our future, but depending on the results of this pregnancy test, the immediacy and tone will be different.
Obviously, we don’t have random pregnancy tests lying around the house. Tomorrow, I’ll have to pick up one of those at-home tests from the drugstore. Problem is, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep all these nerves to myself. Nash can read me like a book.
I mean, I’ve just got to keep all these feelings under wraps for the next twenty-four hours. I’m sure I can do that.
Twenty-four solid hours.
And, if I’m focusing on this surprise for Nash, it’ll keep me distracted enough not to openly worry.
Yeah, I can do this. Nash won’t suspect a thing.
I sit upright on the bed. I’ve thought about all of this long enough. It’s time to start distracting myself.
I’m about to open one of the bags when my phone rings.
“Oh!”
Maybe it’s Nash. I know he had a big important meeting today. He and Colt are finally going through with a big merger he’s alluded to. He’s been excited about this because of the fact that he’ll able to get back to his greasy roots.
He’s probably be calling to tell me how it went.
I put the bag in my hands down. I have more than enough time to take care of all of this.
I look at my phone, but it’s not Nash calling. It’s my brother. To be honest, I’m kind of surprised Brian’s calling me. We haven’t really spoken since he restarted his job. I’ve called to speak with my nieces quite a few times, and I made it over to their house twice, but the frequency of our communication has definitely gone down.
And there’s fault on both sides for this.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Aw fuck, Nellie,” my brother begins without introduction. “I really fucked up this time. I really fucked up. Goddammit! Shit!” Brian is clearly crying. The sobs are entirely too intense to miss. His voice is in a full panic. Whatever he is crying about has got him in a tizzy.
“What happened? What’s going on?” My heart is pounding, already running through all the worst-case scenarios. There are just so many ways in which Brian can fuck up.
“I got fired again! I went to work this morning, and they told me not to come back. Ever. I don’t know what to do!” he wails. The rest of his sentence is drowned out by his crying.
“You got fired? Again?”
“And then,” Brian sobs, ignoring my question, “I went home and told Vivica, and she kicked me out after a long argument. I said some things that I regret, but I didn’t think she would kick me out. I don’t have anywhere to go, nor anywhere to live. I’m so fucking fucked.”
I’m silent for a moment. How does this keep happening? I worked so hard to keep Brian from falling into the same traps he always does, but nothing ever seems to work.
“What should I do, Nellie? You always know what to do.” I rub my forehead. It’s as if all the stress I’d been avoiding for the past two months has suddenly fallen onto me like an enormous boulder. I’ve got to think of something. If I don’t, Brian will just remain stagnant until I do.
“Meet me at my place. If you get there before me, just go inside, okay? I’m not too far away.”
“Okay,” he sniffles. “I’ll see you soon.”
I say goodbye and hang up my phone. I start pacing and freaking the fuck out. But I don’t even have enough time to process what’s going on. I need to get home. If Brian ruminates in my home for too long who knows what will happen?
Thankfully, I’m still dressed in casual clothes and ready to go. I grab my keys and my wallet. I stand by the door wondering if I’ve forgotten anything.
“No, that’s it. That’s all I need,” I mumble, shaking my head. Rushing out, I get into my car. It hasn’t been started in about two months. I grip the steering wheel, praying that my car isn’t about to fail me.
“Come on, baby. I know you can do it.” I turn the key in the ignition, and like the beautiful miracle it is, my car starts up. My baby never fails me. It vrooms when I need it to.
And I’m off.
It takes me about thirty minutes to get to my apartment. I haven’t been back since moving in with Nash. It kind of sucks that my first return is under such shitty circumstances.
My apartment was somewhere I could go to escape the chaos that was my life. The only times my peace was interrupted was when Brian would barge in uninvited.
Some things never change.
I go in and find Brian already sitting on the couch. He’s still in tears, the streams running down his face. His skin is red, and his cheeks are blotchy. Clearly, my brother is distressed.
“Nellie! I’m so sorry,” he wails while slumping further down on the couch. I put my stuff down and join my brother on the sofa. Even though I’m used to this kind of thing, the crying and the pity parties, this one feels like it’s on a whole different level.
“Don’t worry about apologizing right now. Just tell me what happened. I thought things were going well for you over at Jaybird.”
He sniffles a bit.
“So did I. I was doing what you said, keeping my head down and working hard. But then this morning, I don’t know what happened. They fired me!”
“Did they give a reason for firing you?”
“No, I …,” Brian trails off. He rubs his hand all over his face. I’ve never seen my brother so manic before. I know I’ve been focusing a lot on how stressed Brian’s problems make me, but they have to stress him out to a similar degree. He must be close to reaching the end of his rope.
“So they just let you go without any warning?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs. “I think Nash and Colt have some kind of beef with me. I’m not sure if either one of them ever liked me.”
“What about your job search? Have you had any luck?”
“Well, sort of,” Brian blubbers, saying a whole lot of nothing while making a lot of sounds.
“Brian.” I need him to make sense right now. I feel for him, but I can’t deal with all the back and forth. I need concrete answers. If he really wants my help then he’s got to meet me, maybe not halfway, but somewhere along the path.
“Okay, I know I was supposed to be looking, but I was so overwhelmed with everything and –”
“So, you haven’t been looking?”
“I’ve been working full-time and taking care of Madison and Mackenzie. Vivica’s been ill, so I’ve been in charge of childcare. I just haven’t had a lot of time. It’s like I finish with one thing, then another huge task drops right in front of me.”
“Vivica’s been sick?” I’ve really been out of contact with them. I had no idea any of these things were going on.
Brian nods miserably.
“Yeah, it’s nothing horrible, but she’s been out of commission. I haven’t even had time to put my resume together, let alone apply to any jobs. I thought I could get on it once my wife was better.” I feel like such an ass for assuming the worst of my brother. Yeah, he’s a mess, but that doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. I just wish he was better at handling all of the things in his life.
Because of this, I know his family is going to need some money.
I get my wallet from the coffee table and open it up. I was going to give Brian all the cash I had, but then I notice I still have the last check Nash wrote me. I never cashed it because I was so caught up in my thing with Nash.
I was really hoping we could make the money Nash gave me into a rainy-day fund and only dip into it when we really needed to. Then again, I guess this is our rainy day. It’s just a lot earlier than expected.
“Here. I’ve got some money I can give you. It should keep you guys solid for a while, and give you enough time to find a new job.” I sign the check over to Brian, and with trembling hands, I hand it to him.
“Thank you, Nellie,” he looks down at the check and stops short. His eyes go wide. If I were him, I’d also be shocked. His jaw literally drops.
“Where did you get this?” he asks in a small voice.
I really don’t want to explain anything to my brother. While I am sympathetic, I’m not going to trust him with everything in my life.
Like I said he’s a mess. And messes have a way of spreading.
Grimly, I look over at him. It’s clear the check came from Nash because his name is up in the upper left corner. So I know it’s not just the amount that’s giving him pause. For the first time, my brother has an inkling of what I’ve been doing.
“I’ve been working for Nash,” I say in a firm voice.
Brian looks at me with confusion.
“Doing what though? Accounting? He paid you this much to run some numbers?”
I’m not going to get into the sordid details of my ‘kept woman’ arrangement. Partially because Brian is my brother, and that’s just an uncomfortable situation. But also, because it’s none of his damn business.
“Brian, you need to go home, take care of your wife and kids, and find a new job. For the sake of your family and for my sake. This money is going to help you, but it won’t last forever.”
“But Nellie,” he begins. I can tell he really wants to know what’s going on, but it all boils down to the fact that this is none of his business. If I wanted to tell him, I would have told him.
“Go home, Brian.”
He nods, understanding my message. I can’t stand another minute of him trying to pry into my life. I know this is what family does, but my family is skating on some pretty thin ice with me right now.
Brian stands up with the check and heads for the door. Before leaving, he looks over his shoulder at me. His brow is furrowed, and I’m worried he’s about to deliver some more bad news. I don’t know what it could possibly be, but I’m sure that Brian could come up with something.
“Is everything okay?” I ask him.
He hesitates for a moment.
“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate this. I know I’m an ungrateful prick and should have been a much better brother. God knows you deserve that. But you’re the best, Nellie. Don’t forget that. I’ll, uh, try to remind you more often of that.” He doesn’t wait for me to respond, leaving my apartment.
I break down a few seconds after he’s gone, unable to contain my emotions anymore. Brian always says thank you whenever I dig him out of whatever hole he’s in, but that was the most he’s said in years. I
know he’s a good person which is why I can’t believe Nash fucking did this!
And suddenly, my sadness has turned into anger.
I need to get rid of it somehow. There’s a pillow right by me, and I chuck it at the wall. It makes it to its destination, but the soft impact isn’t satisfying enough. I need more. A lot more. I want to throw everything within my reach and watch things shatter.
But I’m not about to destroy my apartment because of fucking Nash Keller. No. He doesn’t deserve to get such a rise out of me.
What I’m going to do is go to his house and let him know just how angry he’s made me. The two of us made a fucking deal, and he decided at his own convenience to turn around and change the rules. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works!
I stand up from my couch with a new purpose.
And that purpose is to give Nash Keller a piece of my mind.
20
Nellie
I get back into my car. When I hit that gas pedal, I let the odometer go up to what many would consider an unsafe speed. I know I should slow down not just for my sake, but for the sake of everyone on the road, but I’m too pissed off to think clearly.
I still have a few tears streaming down my face, and I want them to dry up before I get back. It would make more sense to drive over there slowly, but like I said, I’m not thinking clearly.
When I confront Nash, I need him to see me without a single ounce of weakness because I am about to tear him a new one. But the tears aren’t drying up in the slightest. I’m not sobbing and pulling my hair, but wet cheeks are not a good look.
I’m an emotional mess, that’s for sure.
I make it back to the mansion. It stands there, looming over me. It’s still just as beautiful as before, but now, to me it’s tainted. How could Nash do this? We made a deal. Me, for three months, in exchange for Brian’s employment and a wad of cash. Is it because Nash is rich? Does he think that because he’s a wealthy man, he can do whatever he wants, and gyp me in the process?
