by S. C. Adams
I keep walking and come across a ratty looking trailer. The windows are all blacked out, and it has a chemical smell surrounding it.
This has to be where they’re cooking meth. It’s what makes the most sense. I can’t believe this is where Brian has been spending his nights. It looks absolutely filthy, and if I can avoid it, I’d very much like to never set foot inside.
While my brother might be in there doing all manners of disgusting things, he’s not my number one concern right now. What I need to do is locate my nieces first. I look around and see two little blonde girls playing in the river.
What the fuck! Did Brian just leave my girls to fend for themselves?
I rush over but then stop short. I can’t confront them with this frightened look on my face. I don’t need Madison and Mackenzie realizing what kind of situation we’re in. They look so happy, and I want to keep them that way.
“Mac & Cheese! Mad Hatter!”
They look up.
“Auntie Nellie!” they both squeal. The two of them run out of the river and wrap their arms around my legs, digging their faces into me.
“Hey, babies. Are you two okay?”
“Yeah, we are playing in the water,” Madison lisps in a baby voice. God help me. My niece is only three, and I can’t believe my brother’s put her in this position. But I try to appear cheerful on the outside.
“That sounds nice and fun, but I think I should take you two to the car.”
The girls pout.
“Is Daddy already there?” Mackenzie asks.
“No, I’m going to go talk to him, but I’m probably going to take you home tonight, and you guys can see him later.”
“Can we say goodbye?” Mackenzie adds hopefully.
“Oh, not right now. I want to get you inside the warm car, so you don’t catch a cold.”
“Okay,” my little niece answers. I can tell she’s a little skeptical. Even at only four, she’s observant. I’m sure she knows things aren’t going super great here, but at least she doesn’t know why.
“Yeah, let’s get you girls inside.” I hold on to their little hands, guiding the two of them back to my car. The trip through the brush is more difficult with two kids squirming beside me, but we make it. I wish I had some extra clothes for them, and maybe a towel. They’re going to have to sit in these slightly damp outfits. I just hope they don’t get sick.
I put them in the backseat and take some snacks out from my glove compartment.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell them, handing over the gummies. “Don’t open the door for anyone except me okay?”
“Okay,” they promise they’re eyes already glued to the gummies. I’m glad they’re distracted because I really need to confront my brother, and need to keep the girls occupied while that happens.
Now, it’s time for Brian. He’s had a lot of fuck ups, but this one crosses the line in an extreme way. Hopefully, I can get through to him. This feels like one of his last chances.
I close the car door, making sure my nieces are safe inside. Every lock is engaged, and I leave the windows open a crack at the top for fresh air. I kneel by the window and wave goodbye as they eat.
“Bye babies,” I call. “I’m just going to be a few minutes.”
God knows, it’s dangerous to leave children unattended in the car, but I have to see my brother right now. With a purpose, I stalk back to the trailer, storming up the few steps and banging on the door. Each knock is powered by extreme anger.
I am ready to scream at my brother for all this bullshit.
The door creaks open, but instead of Brian, a wretched, sickly old man opens the door. The years of meth use are on his face, from the sallow skin to the gaunt cheeks. All I can think about is how this could be Brian if he doesn’t change.
“Whaddya want?” he croaks. When he speaks, I can see that all of his teeth are missing. No wonder his mouth looked oddly caved in, like he was pursing his lips. I’m shocked for a second, but then regain my senses.
“Um, I’m looking for Brian.”
“Mm,” he mutters vaguely. Turning around, he faces the inside of the trailer. “Brian!” he screams out into the depths.
The old man stands there for a few seconds before walking away without saying anything else to me. While I find the encounter weird, I don’t comment on it because I’m actually kind of glad he’s gone.
My brother emerges not much later, looking absolutely disgusting. His hair is sticking out all over the place, and his clothes are covered in unsightly stains. There are dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t slept soundly in months. He looks like he’s suffering from malnutrition, and his gait is oddly lopsided.
Plus, he is most definitely high.
“Hey, Nellie. I didn’t expect to see you here,” he greets me casually. It’s so casual that it angers me more, something I didn’t think was possible. He’s acting like there’s nothing wrong when clearly everything is literally in the toilet.
I grab Brian’s arm and pull him out of the trailer. He moves with me like he’s a rag doll. My brother’s always been thin, but it looks like he’s lost at least thirty pounds. He’s nothing more than a bag of bones now.
We get to a semi-secluded area before I let go of him. He rubs the spot on his shirt where I grabbed him, but that’s it. I’m expecting some kind of explanation, but Brian’s acting like I just dropped in on him at home, as if I’m just here for a quick hello.
“What the absolute fuck is going on, Brian?” I demand shrilly.
“What are you talking about?” he says, feigning innocence.
“What am I taking about? Are you fucking serious? You must really be on drugs,” I scream. Brian chuckles, but I’m not here to make jokes. “Is it true?” I demand. “Are you using meth?”
Brian shrugs, looking totally bored.
“Only sometimes. It’s not a big deal. So many people do it, Nell. You met Tom back there. He does like five times the amount I do, and he’s fine.”
I stare at him, aghast.
“Brian, Tom has no teeth and looks like a dead man walking.”
“No!” my brother shouts. I jump at his sudden raise in volume, but I manage to keep my cool. “That’s not a very nice thing to say, Nell. I thought our parents taught you better.” He chuckles to himself madly, with a slightly crazed look in his eye. I ignore his comment, not wanting to get into any of that right now.
“What about Jaybird?” I ask, trying to change the subject for now. “Did Nash and Colt really fire you for stealing?”
Brian’s mouth goes into a tight line as he rolls his eyes.
“They weren’t treating me right, okay? From the second those assholes hired me, they didn’t want to give a chance, not a real one anyway,” he whines.
“So, you actually did steal,” I begin. Brian interrupts me.
“No, I took what was mine. What I was owed. I’ve been toiling away for so long. I deserve that money. It belongs to me.”
“So, you just took it?” I ask in a disbelieving voice.
“Yeah,” Brian smirks. “I used to dick around and play all those computer games. Well, I learned a lot of shit about computer systems and whatnot. Plus, Jaybird’s security system was set up by idiots anyways. Penetrating their firewall was so fucking easy. I could probably teach my girls how to do it.”
I stare at him.
“But what about your family? Your kids? How do they fit into this hacker drug lord image you have?”
“What about them?” Brian shrugs. I’d been fairly calm for this whole conversation, but hearing Brian dismiss his daughters so casually sets me on fire.
“Are you kidding me? I just found your daughters playing in a river without any supervision outside a homeless encampment where god only knows what could have happened to them! And you were too busy because Mr. Does-Whatever-The-Fuck-He-Wants was cooking meth! For fucking real, Brian?”
I’m expecting my brother to realize what an absolute dumbass he’s been, and to bre
ak down crying. After all, that’s the Brian that I know. Someone spineless, who’s always blubbering and in need of help.
But the drugs have changed him because this time, he gets all red in the face. He starts to aggressively approach me, and for the first time ever, I’m afraid of my brother.
“Brian?” I hold up my hand defensively, but he’s too far gone. My only sibling hits me in the chest, knocking me to the ground.
I scream as I fall, tumbling to the forest floor. I look up at my brother, shocked and confused. I don’t know what to do.
Brian looks down at me, his features contorted in rage. But the anger leaves his face, and it’s replaced with regret as we stare at one another.
But before either one of us can say anything, Nash flies out of nowhere and tackles my brother. They both hit the ground, and Nash starts punching the ever living shit out of my brother.
I’m frozen to the spot as I watch Brian turn into a crying, sniveling mess. It’s not hard to see that he’s been overwhelmed, and at the rate Nash is going, he’s going to physically break my brother. While I am pissed and upset with all the things Brian’s done, I know he still has the ability to be a good person.
I get up from the ground and grab on to Nash, pulling back with all my strength. I don’t want him to cause any serious damage.
“Nash! Get off him! We need to leave!” It takes a lot of effort, but I manage to penetrate the fog of anger. Nash backs off of Brian. He doesn’t seem to want to, but he stops the punching and stares at my whimpering, sniveling brother who’s now in a fetal position on the floor.
“Don’t ever touch Nellie again,” Nash hisses with real rage in his face. “Otherwise, consider yourself six feet under.”
“Let’s go,” I plead, pulling on his arm. Nash seems not to hear, but then he spins around and leaves with me.
As we’re tramping through the forest, I look back one last time and see Brian moaning while clutching his sides. Even with everything, my heart still goes out to him. The only difference is that this time, I’m not going to help him.
Today, he can help himself.
We’re almost back at the car, and I stop Nash from continuing.
“Um, I need to clean myself up. My nieces are waiting for me, and I can’t let them see me like this.” There are tears streaming down my face, and I have dirt and mud on my body and clothes.
“Yeah, of course.” Nash has gone from animalistic anger to the voice of reason. I’m almost crying from the gentleness of it all, but I manage to keep myself from falling off the edge.
Nash takes off his jacket and uses it to brush me off as best he can. I don’t do much of anything myself, still feeling numb from the whole ordeal. Next, he wipes away any leftover tears from my face with his thumb.
I take in a deep shaky breath, willing myself to be calm.
“Are you ready?” Nash growls, his eyes serious.
“Yeah,” I nod. We walk a bit further, and burst out of the brush to where my nieces are still munching happily on their gummies.
“Hi babies,” I say, greeting them through the window before popping open my door. “I’m back.”
I go for the driver’s seat, but Nash stops me.
“Let me drive. You need to relax.” I nod again, handing Nash the keys. When I get into the passenger’s side, I look into the backseat and Mackenzie and Madison perk up.
“Auntie Nellie!” Mackenzie squeals. When I feel Nash get in the driver’s seat, I see my nieces’ eyes go wide.
“Who’s that?” Madison lisps in her baby voice. “Stranger danger.”
“Um, girls, this is my friend Nash. He’s going to drive us home. Is that okay?” They both nod but still look a little apprehensive.
My man turns and throws my nieces a radiant smile.
“Hey, guys. Like Nellie said, my name is Nash. I think if we want to get to know each other, we should say two things we like and one thing we don’t. Do you want to do that?”
Madison and Mackenzie look at me, and I nod.
“Okay,” Mackenzie whispers.
“Perfect, I’ll start. Okay, I don’t like long lines. I like motorcycles. And,” Nash pretends to really think about it, drawing it out. “I really like your Auntie Nellie.” He looks over at me and smiles. It’s the first time since this saga started that I feel some hope.
My nieces giggle. Madison even lets out a long ‘eeew.’
“Okay, your turn,” Nash says.
The girls look at each other and whisper. After a few moments, they turn back to us.
“Um, we don’t like green beans. We like princesses. And we like ice cream.”
“Hmm, ice cream?”
“Yeah, our best flavor is chocolate or cookies with cream. Mac likes to mix them, and I like that, too!” Madison announces.
“If it’s okay with your aunt, we can go to this ice cream parlor that’s five minutes away, and you can both get your own scoop. What do you think?”
The excitement from the backseat is immediate. I make a face at Nash because I’m not about this. He leans in close.
“I don’t think you’re going to make it to the house emotionally if we go straight back. This way, you can have some time to get yourself together.” He moves his head away from my ear and then starts joking with the girls again. They’re soon giggling with laughter. I let out deep breath and nod.
“Okay, okay. You guys can get ice cream, but quickly. Your mom is waiting for you.” Madison and Mackenzie erupt into a frenzied cacophony of ‘yays.’
The drive to the parlor is a short one, just as Nash promised. He holds my hand the entire way which I use as a way to anchor my emotions. He’s being so kind after I was a total bitch to him. I’m sure once all of this blows over, he won’t want me in his life anymore.
I’ll take whatever little time we have left.
Nash parks the car and turns to the backseat.
“You guys ready?”
“Yeah!” they say in unison. They start to get out of the car, but Mackenzie stops short.
“Are you coming Auntie Nellie?”
“I have to make a couple phone calls. Plus, I’m not really hungry. Go have fun with Nash and your sister.”
The two jump out of the car instantly, and Nash gets out too, taking their small hands in his big ones. Looks like they’re thick as thieves already. An offer of ice cream will do that.
As they walk to the store, I turn back to reality. The first thing I need to do is call Vivica and tell her the girls are safe.
I dial her number, and my sister-in-law picks up on the first ring.
“Nellie! Did you find them? Are they okay? Are my girls okay?” she asks in an agonized voice.
“Yes, Vivica. We found Madison and Mackenzie. They’re fine. We’ve stopped for ice cream, but we’ll be on our way home right after. They’re perfectly safe. Didn’t even really realize what was going on.”
“Okay, that’s amazing,” she cries. She’s openly sobbing at this point. I don’t think I can do much more of this phone call, so I decide to say goodbye.
“We’ll be back at your place soon. Talk to you later.”
She seems a little surprised with my brusqueness, but Vivica says goodbye, and I’m able to hang up.
When the call ends, I slump in the chair, getting as deep into the pleather as I can. It only takes a few seconds before I’m crying. I’m crying because of what I just went through, but I’m also crying for my brother. I’m crying for how much he’s lost himself and wondering if he’ll find his way back to the old Brian.
Gross, snotty, gasping sobs fill up the whole car. Crying like this is something I haven’t done since my parents died. I’m grateful that Nash took the girls so I can have this moment alone. He was right in thinking that I wouldn’t make it all the way to Vivica’s house before breaking down.
Plus, I wouldn’t want Madison and Mackenzie to see me like this.
I ball up in the seat, resting my head in my hands.
At l
east there is solace in the fact that Madison and Mackenzie are safe and sound. I know Nash will keep them safe.
I take a peek out the window and see the three of them laughing and eating their scoops. He’s just met the two of them, and already, Mackenzie and Madison are looking at him with adoring blue eyes. He’s so good to my nieces, even when there’s no reason to be.
It only solidifies how much I like alpha male. Maybe even love him.
I lie back down and lament how much I fucked up our relationship. I really yelled at him and screamed at him for telling me the truth. I called him a liar and a piece of shit and whatever the else I could think of in the moment.
“What a fucking idiot,” I mumble to myself. It’s true - I’m a fucking idiot. I pushed away the best man to ever walk into my life. I want to cry about this significant loss, but I can’t. I’ve cried so much that I’m out of tears.
I yawn, my eyes fluttering closed. I need to stay awake until we drop off Madison and Mackenzie. I have to show Nash how to get to their house. But today has been one of the wildest days in my life, and finally my body is giving up on me.
I feel my brain slipping into oblivion as tendrils of sleepiness take over my mind.
I’ll probably wake up when they all come back into the car. I’m sure all the clambering and laughing will wake me right up.
I can close my eyes for a couple of minutes in the meantime.
22
Nash
I left Nellie in the car to give her some time to deal with her feelings. I knew she’d have a total breakdown in minutes. She was acting like she was okay, but I could see under the curvy girl’s exterior. She’s fragile. She’s been tested beyond her limits, and knowing how much she loves her nieces and wants them to have a happy childhood, Nellie wouldn’t want them to see her sobbing.
I fully understand why, though. I almost broke her brother’s face after he hit her. I almost killed that man, to be honest. If Nellie hadn’t stopped me, I would have enacted capital punishment. All I could see was red, and punching Brian was the only thing making me feel better.
