PINUP GIRL
BY STACEY ZACKERLY
Copyright (c) 2016 By Stacey Zackerly
All Rights Reserved
CHAPTER 1:
The day Steven Peterson received his draft notice was the darkest day of his young life, and that was saying a lot. Steven was an orphan who never knew his parents. He was bounced around from one institution or foster home to another. Nothing ever seemed to click. He never found the love of a surrogate family that he was always looking for.
As he got older he started to realize some scary things about himself. For one thing he knew that he was a homosexual, or bi-sexual at any rate, although that concept was pretty foreign to most people in the 1940's. Some of the older boys had used him for sex at the orphanage and one of his foster mothers had liked to get into bed with him and touched him inappropriately. It had taken years for him to even think of sex with anyone as something to be enjoyed before he went to bed with a very sweet chorus girl who showed him the possibilities.
Steven's salvation had always been the fact that he had talent. He could sing and dance. He could be funny if he had to be, which was often a way to get out of a fight or a tight corner. Unfortunately his talent had mostly been exploited in the seamy underbelly of show business. We tend to think of the "old days" as somehow innocent and pure, and on the surface that was very true compared to our modern acceptance of things like strip clubs and pornography, but those things have always existed. They simply existed underground for the most part.
He knew the underworld well. He had largely grown up in it. He knew the pimps and the hookers and the hustlers and the junkies. He knew the gangsters and which cops were on the take. He worked any odd job he could get and some of them were pretty odd indeed.
He had been introduced to cross-dressing when he was working as a stagehand at a crappy cabaret. The place was a bit racy but mostly legitimate and usually featured a small line of chorus girls backing up the main entertainer. One night one of the girls in the chorus didn't show up for work and someone came up with the brilliant idea of putting Steven in her costume and sticking a wig on his head and some makeup. He knew the relatively simple routines by heart and with his slender frame and delicate features he actually looked better than some of the real girls in the chorus who were getting a little past their prime.
Steven had been thrilled by the opportunity to dance on stage in front of an audience, even if he was wearing a dress and the show was pretty much the bottom of the barrel. He completely got away with it and the management was delighted. He was immediately promoted to showgirl but sworn to secrecy. They had no desire to be known as a "drag show" so Steven was to promptly exit the stage at the end of his performance and get back into his male clothes as quickly as possible. There were quite a few "stage door Johnnies" who wanted to meet the cute little blonde two girls from the end of the line stage left but they always went home disappointed...or with another girl at any rate.
While it started out purely as a job Steven began to play around with the whole cross-dressing thing in his spare time. He liked the fact that he looked so pretty when he was made up and dressed in a sparkly gown. And he was popular too, something he had never known before.
Eventually he migrated towards a private "dance club" for men who liked men who dressed like women. He even got to sing sometimes but it was a definite step down the show business ladder. Even so the pay was better, especially when you worked the dance floor and got a client to take you to one of the private booths in the back. It was all head and hand jobs and you were expected to get it over with as quickly as possible but some of the regular customers were quite generous in bringing little gifts for their favorites.
It was prostitution, and gay prostitution at that, but he got to sing and he was making more money than he ever had in his life. It was probably a pretty dead end thing but Steven always had hope. He worked hard on his dancing, both as a man and a woman, and he tried to audition for anything he could get that would be his big break. Instead Uncle Sam called him to duty to fight the Germans far away in Europe.
Ironically the army might very well have provided the surrogate family that he had always been looking for but he was too terrified to even consider that possibility. Despite his hard upbringing he was a terribly sweet soul who couldn't hurt a fly. He wasn't too proud to admit that he was a coward. He was scared to death of war. He was also scared of what might happen to him in the army if they figured out that he was a queer. Homosexuality was illegal in the 1940's and the punishment could be very severe. The military was particularly hard on those who were perceived as "unnatural perverts" and even if you didn't do prison time just being discharged for being gay would stick on your record forever.
Steven was in a quandary. He didn't want to shirk his patriotic duty but he didn't think he'd be able to stand that kind of life and the scrutiny that would go with it. It wasn't easy to avoid the draft when the whole world was at war. Draft dodgers were hunted down and prosecuted vigorously. His only hope was that maybe he had some physical defect that would preclude him from service. It was either that or spend his whole life on the run.
He didn't have many close friends but there was a girl named Mabel who had always been nice to him when he worked as a stand in chorus girl. They had actually gone out on a date once but she was pretty street savvy and realized right away that girls weren't really his cup of tea. They just became friends and Steven knew she was someone he could always tell his troubles to even though they didn't work together anymore.
"I can't do it Mabel. I just can't!" Steven whined as he showed her the draft notice. "Can you picture me a soldier?"
"Well it's hard to resist a man in uniform," she joked.
"This is no laughing matter. I'm probably going to get killed...or worse. Can you imagine a guy as effeminate as I am in a foxhole with some tough, cigar chomping, sergeant? I'll be the company pin cushion until they court martial me and stand me up in front of a firing squad."
"I don't think they quite go that far," Mabel pointed out.
"Well it's not good whatever they do to faggots in the army."
"Have you thought about running away?" she asked.
"Of course, but to where?" Steven replied with a desperate shrug.
"Well there is one way you might be able to get out of it but I don't think you're going to like it. I know this guy, he's sort of a doctor I suppose you could say, he does a lot of reconstructive surgery on criminals who want to change their appearance. He's got this sidelight too that's kind of creepy and not cheap but it might let you hide in plain sight," Mable said apprehensively.
"What kind of sidelight? You mean he'd give me a new face or what?" asked Steven.
"Actually your face is probably not the area he'd concentrate on. What he'd give you is a new body."
"I'm still not following."
"He'd give you the body of a woman."
CHAPTER 2:
At first Steven had laughed at the idea assuming that Mabel was making a joke but once he realized that she was dead serious he sat in stunned silence for a moment or two.
"Are you trying to tell me that there's some quack doctor out there who can actually turn a man into a woman? I mean medically change a man's body parts? I already know how to stuff falsies in a bra and put on lipstick. Are you saying he could give me real boobs and a snatch?" Steven asked incredulously.
"Look, I don't know that much about it or how he does it. I only know that he's done it before and I saw the pictures and it looked pretty damn real. In your case I'm guessing it would look a million times better because you already have the ability to look like an attractive girl without that much trouble," said Mabel.
"How do you know this guy anyway?"
"Oh...I got mys
elf in trouble a while back. This guy provides services for that kind of thing too, if you follow my meaning."
"Gosh, I'm really sorry to hear that Mabel."
"Ah well, my mother always told me that my wicked ways would come to no good. I suppose she was right," Mabel said, trying to force a smile.
"All right, just for the sake of argument let's say that I went to this guy and he turned me into a woman. I'd still be me. If I just hang around town they'll catch up with me eventually won't they?" Steven pointed out.
"For starters you'd have to come up with a new identity. Again, it isn't cheap but it can be done. Who's going to ever find you if you just don't exist anymore? So you take your new identity and you go somewhere else where no one knows you and you start over again. The old you will be impossible to trace because nobody in a million years would ever guess that you had become a woman. Most people don't even know that such a thing is possible. You'll be a woman as far as the world is concerned and the army can chase after Steven Peterson until they're blue in the face."
"I don't know. That's a pretty difficult choice to make, assuming that it even is on the level," said Steven.
"Sure and I wouldn't blame you for forgetting all about it. I just thought I should mention it because you seemed pretty upset by the alternative," Mable said sympathetically.
"And I do appreciate it Mabel. I've just got to think about this first."
It was a lot to think about. It was such a crazy idea. Of course was there anything really so appealing about his old life that it needed to be hung onto? He was just a queer in a dress whoring himself out in a shoddy little club. The only career success he had ever known was when he was pretending to be a girl. He might even get more jobs if he was perceived as a real woman. He certainly had the talent.
But a man is still a man, no matter how many times he puts on a dress, and the thought of some pseudo doctor cutting off his dick made him wince. What if he botched the operation? He might end up some kind of half man/half woman freak. Well the army probably wouldn't take him at that point anyway so there was that to consider. Still it seemed so risky. He didn't know what the laws were for men who had that kind of operation, since nobody ever had it, but it couldn't be good if he was ever found out.
If this doctor could actually pull it off and make him a reasonably attractive woman that might be the best thing in the world. Nobody would think he was a homo then. Girls are supposed to like guys. Maybe a fresh start and a new identity was just exactly what he needed. Move away. Reinvent himself. Leave all the painful memories behind and try to make new ones that were more pleasant.
There was nothing tying him down. Nobody except Mabel that he really cared about and hopefully they could stay in touch. It might be fun to be girlfriends together. A lot of things might be kind of fun but it still all hinged on some very big questions. Could this fucker actually do it and how much was it going to cost? It seemed like the only way to get those answers was to go see the guy.
Mabel took Steven to see the mysterious Dr. Lavinsky, or whatever his real name was, and told the doctor that Steven was interested in his "special" operation.
"Is that right? Well sit down young man and let me have a look at you," said the doctor cheerfully as he walked around and looked at Steven from all sides. "Yes, yes, very promising. You have the ideal features and bone structure. I think I could do something really wonderful with you."
"So how realistic would I look?" asked Steven.
"Very convincing I assure you. You see it's a process, it's not like having a broken arm set. First you get a series of injections to bring your body into balance as a female and then the surgery is the final piece of the puzzle. It takes a while, young man. Six months at least to do it properly."
"Six months! I don't have six months. I've only got two weeks until I'm supposed to report for active duty," Steven explained.
"Oh I see, I see. Your interest in my services is not out of a desire to change your gender, it's a desire to avoid the military," said the doctor, looking at Steven even more closely than before.
"Look, I'd love to become a woman, I really would. I dress like a woman all the time in my work and I like guys better than girls."
"He does doctor, I can attest to that," Mabel said hopefully.
"Those are definitely things in your favor as far as being able to adjust to your new life. Usually one comes to me for this sort of thing out of a burning desire to correct what they see as nature's mistake. They feel like they are not men at all but rather women who are trapped inside a man's body. Do you ever have such feelings?" asked the doctor.
"I think you can say that," Steven replied. "I always seem to be more at home when I'm pretending to be female."
"I must say you do present me with an interesting dilemma. You are by far the most promising subject I have ever run across. I think I could do wondrous things with you. Not just create someone with the basic features and anatomical requirements of a woman but something more. More of a work of art. A thing of beauty. You could stay here for the duration I suppose. I would be harboring a known draft dodger but I've had far worse company in my establishment before. Are you any good at cooking and cleaning?" asked Lavinsky.
"Cleaning definitely but I'm not sure how great a cook I am. But I'm willing to try," Steven offered enthusiastically.
"Well I'm not particularly fussy in my tastes or habits but if you're going to stay here you should at least earn your bed and board. In fact I won't charge you for my services. Just keep my place clean and help me around the office whenever you can and we'll call it even. What do you say?" asked the doctor.
"I'd say you have a new housekeeper. Or maybe I should say maid since that seems more appropriate for the life I'm heading into," Steven joked.
And that was that. Steven was putting his life and his whole body in the hands of some mad scientist he knew virtually nothing about. It was the craziest thing he had ever done but he didn't care all that much. What had life been but a series of unhappy situations leading to the next unhappy situation? Whatever happened to him now might just be the next in a long line of disappointments but there was always the chance that this strange man might actually the hold the key to his future happiness. Hopefully Steven could learn how to cook well enough to keep from being kicked out into the streets half way through the process. Whatever happened to him he wanted to come out of it all man or all woman. Something in between was just too horrible to contemplate.
CHAPTER 3:
There was always the chance that the war would be over in less than six months. That was usually the kind of optimistic thinking that pervaded the nation whenever it went to war, despite the fact that it rarely ever came true. In this case America had been caught pretty much flat footed when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor and it was going to take some time to get the great war machinery into place and operating. That wasn't really something that Steven was aware of but after he failed to report for his induction he knew there was no turning back no matter how long the war lasted. They would presumably be hunting him forever.
Dr. Lavinsky was a funny character. He seemed like someone Hollywood might cast as a mad scientist or at least a radical man of science with unorthodox ideas. There was definitely a touch of Dr. Frankenstein about him the way he looked upon Steven as his "creation" rather than his patient. That was a little unsettling but in a way it was true. Steven was going to be completely remade, if this insane thing actually worked.
Steven learned that the injections he was receiving had something to do with hormones and he was getting some pretty heavy doses. There were no standards or guidelines for what we would today call sexual reassignment surgery so the doctor was making it up as he went. Steven certainly began to feel some changes taking place. His body hair seemed to be getting even thinner and more delicate than it was before, although he had been shaving it off for some time anyway in his capacity as a female impersonator.
Lavinsky suggested that Steven should
begin to prepare for his new life by choosing a new name and even dressing as a woman around the house. At first Steven suspected that the doctor was one of those men, like the guys at the club, who got their kicks from getting it on with transvestites but soon he realized the wisdom of the suggestion. There was no point in starting from scratch. His old life was behind him now so why not begin to build the new one?
Mabel did the shopping for clothes for Steven since he couldn't leave the house for fear of being arrested. She even got him a maid's uniform, almost as a joke, but Steven found that he was very happy to wear it around the house as he dusted and cleaned and cooked.
The name took a while to come up with. He wanted a good show business name. Something with a little glamour and pizzazz. He experimented by writing down different options on a pad of paper until something looked right. Finally he found what he was looking for in the name Gloria Gibson. It wasn't as exotic as some of the names he toyed with like Lola or Rita but he just didn't look like a Lola. Gloria seemed to suit him better and he liked Gibson because it reminded him of the "Gibson Girl" a creation of the artist Charles Dana Gibson that had come to symbolize the ultimate in feminine grace and beauty at the turn of the century. It could be the name of a wholesome girl next door type or it could be the name of a star. For better or worse once the name was chosen he would forever be a she going by that name.
As the time passed the injections seemed to be working. Gloria could see her body actually changing in some ways. Her fat was being redistributed which gave her more of a curvy body and she was even beginning to grow breasts of a sort. She also felt different and had the impression that she was thinking more like a woman, but that may have been due mostly to the fact that she was dressing and living as a woman all the time now.
It was hard not to go a little stir crazy being trapped indoors for so long but Gloria and Dr. Lavinsky were getting along quite well. Far from being a sexual relationship the doctor had become the long desired father figure that Gloria had always craved. The doctor might well be insane but he was certainly intelligent and exposed Gloria to things like classical music and art that had never been part of her world before. She wasn't just learning to be a woman she was learning to be a fairly sophisticated and worldly one.
Pinup Girl Page 1
