No, she didn't see herself as a pioneer. She saw herself as a dirty girl who made a buck taking dirty pictures for dirty men. And there was probably an element of truth in that assessment as well.
CHAPTER 15:
The United Service Organizations for National Defense, better known as the USO, came into existence in February of 1941. The organization was comprised of private groups like the Salvation Army and the YMCA, but operated under the logistical control of the Department of Defense. It was an extraordinary collaboration between the public and the private sector and the scale of the enterprise was massive.
All races and religions were welcomed at USO clubs, unless a specific community insisted on segregation, but the concept was completely radical for its day. While it's purpose was not specifically to change society's views it went a long way towards developing better understanding and harmony between diverse people, an aspect of it the legendary USO history that's often forgotten today.
The USO provided every kind of service imaginable, not just entertainment, but the shows and dances were certainly one of the main attractions. The camp shows were divided into four main entertainment tours. The Victory Circuit brought lavish productions, including complete Broadway shows to the largest military bases located stateside. The Blue Circuit usually featured comedians and other Vaudeville acts and played in smaller venues. The Hospital Circuit brought entertainment to wounded troops but it was the Foxhole Circuit that made history.
Wherever the fighting was the USO was there, performing to tens of thousands of soldiers or for a handful of men gathered around a jeep in the middle of nowhere. At least 37 entertainers lost their lives during the war, including the celebrated band leader and composer Glenn Miller, whose plane disappeared over the English Channel on his way to France.
Most fatalities were caused by plane crashes but it could be extremely dangerous for anyone to be in a war zone at any time. Gloria was certainly well aware of this and already resigned to her fate. The premonition of doom had never completely left her although she was trying to put on as brave a face as possible.
It was certainly an adventure and no one ever performed for a more attentive and receptive audience. Entertainment was a tiny slice of home and hope. A pretty girl like Gloria represented every wife and sweetheart left behind or the girl they would hope to meet when they got back. For an hour or two they could feel normal again, even if the sounds of shelling in the distance were a constant reminder of what was waiting for them later.
They loved Gloria. She wasn't a big star that they knew from the movies or on radio but she was a pinup favorite, and even without that she was there. She was a real live woman with curvy hips and nice boobs. She had a winning smile that each soldier knew was directed personally at them.
They were performing one day outside the remains of a bombed out village that had once been a quaint country town. It was hard not to be depressed looking at the ruins of a humble cottage or neighborhood cafe that had once been so full of life. There wasn't really much of a stage but some ammo crates had been stacked up so that Gloria could be seen by everyone but it was a little rickety and she certainly couldn't do any dance moves. The show started all right but in the middle a sudden downpour of rain came out of nowhere. In a flash one soldier had a poncho around Gloria's shoulders and another stood behind her with a broken umbrella, scavenged from somewhere in the pile of rubble.
Gloria tried to carry on but it wasn't the weather that inhibited her. She was simply overcome by tears. She finally broke down and waved the orchestra off.
"I'm sorry boys, I really want to sing for you but I'm just so touched by the way you all rallied around me and for being willing to sit here in the rain just to hear some silly girl crooning a song. I just love you all so much and I wish I could hug all of you!"
That started the great migration to the stage. Kenny Clippard and the Swing Cats just sat with bemused expressions as a flood of wet soldiers came forward to wrap their arms around Gloria. She had meant it metaphorically but now that she was in their midst she really did want to hug each and every man there. The band fought through the rain and provided some accompaniment but the only show that mattered right now was the show of genuine affection between Gloria and those boys. They may have come to hear swing music but this soggy embrace was far better. It would be a memory that would last a lifetime. Sadly for some of these boys their lifetime was being counted in hours.
After the hugging had concluded Gloria managed to regain her composure enough to give them a couple of more songs but everyone knew that they had experienced something far greater than entertainment. For a moment those soldiers felt loved in the middle of a world of hate and for Gloria, the perpetual orphan, she finally did find a kind of family in the army, only it had taken a very roundabout way to get there.
She had kicked herself so hard for being a "coward" and a "sissy" who had let her country down but in an instant she realized that she was probably doing more good for the war effort than she ever could have done carrying a rifle.
Later she realized that she was still wearing the rain poncho she had been handed and tried to find the soldier who had given it to her but it was an impossible task. She felt bad that this poor guy would be without his rain gear but in the back of her mind she knew there was always another one lying on the ground soon enough. That poncho became one of her most prized possessions from that moment on.
Another thing changed in that Gloria put aside her fear of death, even though the evidence of carnage was everywhere. It wasn't just the dead bodies of soldiers stacked along the road or piled in the back of trucks, there were dead civilians, dead animals and dead trees everywhere you looked. The horrific smell of death was in the air. Yet for some reason Gloria felt more alive than ever before. She had never had a purpose in life other than trying to survive and maybe make a little money on the stage. Her world was so much wrapped up in herself and her personal problems. Being on the other side of the world, a world that was tearing itself apart, made her realize how really insignificant those things were. She was part of a bigger struggle. She was connected to everyone and everything in a way that she didn't know was possible.
People often speak of life changing experiences but this was definitely one of those for Gloria, as it was for many civilians who ventured into the realm of combat that was normally just the stuff of movies. The paper might say that so many hundred men lost their life in such and such an encounter but those men had faces now, far more than they had when she just danced with some soldier in a club or even went to bed with one...or two.
Gloria may have made the decision to become a woman largely out of fear but now she wouldn't trade that for anything. She was finding strength and courage and wisdom that she had never had before and she liked the person she was becoming, even if it had taken a painful journey to get there.
CHAPTER 16:
Gloria and the rest of the band did survive their tour and even volunteered to go back again if they were needed. One of Gloria's greatest thrills had been while waiting to board a plane at an airbase in England where the excited crew of a B-29 bomber ushered her over to their craft. There she was, larger than life, painted as "nose art" up by the cockpit. It was just like the poster that Eduardo had painted except that the boys had added their own slightly smutty slogan to the picture, which amused and delighted Gloria. Someone found a camera and she posed happily with the crew next to the plane. It was definitely her favorite photo shoot of all time.
She had only been gone for a few months but it seemed like a different world when she got home. The simple joys of making coffee in the morning or taking a long hot shower seemed so much more precious to her now.
It was also wonderful to be back with Mabel, although Gloria was in for a bit of a shock.
"You're what?" Gloria stammered.
"I'm getting married," Mabel replied.
"You didn't get knocked up did you?"
"No I didn't get knocked up. I j
ust met a really nice guy."
"Is he in the service?"
"No, he's a doctor actually, if you can imagine that," Mabel laughed.
"A doctor. How did you hit the jackpot like that?"
"Well I had this little accident on a photo shot, oh nothing serious, a light just got too close to my bare leg and I couldn't tell anyone because I had a gag in my mouth so I got a bit of a burn," Mabel explained. "When I went to the hospital I met Randolph, or Dr. Baker at the time. He was just so wonderful and compassionate and well...respectable."
"I assume you didn't tell him how you got the burn on your leg."
"No, of course not. That's not the sort of a thing you mention in polite society."
"No you just mention it around sluts like me," Gloria joked.
"Of course. You're not easily shocked. I told him I was cooking something and I spilled some hot grease on my leg," said Mabel.
"Well at least it implies that you're willing to cook even if you're not very good at it," said Gloria with a laugh.
"And I am willing to cook too. And clean up after him and be the best damn wife a man could have," Mabel stated earnestly.
"What brought this sudden domestic surge on?" Gloria asked.
"It was all because of a blowjob."
"You gave this doctor a blowjob and now you want to marry him?"
"No, of course I didn't give Randolph a blowjob. We're not going to sleep together until we're married silly. It was in the photo studio. They had finally talked me into shooting some real sex pictures and I was all prepared to do it. I was lying on a bed with my hands tied behind my back when they brought this guy in with a pretty huge erection. He was going to stick his dick in my mouth and I was going to try and swallow as much of it as I could. That's when I had my moment of spiritual epiphany."
"You found religion with a cock down your throat?"
"It never got there. I just told them to untie me and that I wasn't interested in doing that sort of work. Something just made me say to myself that it wasn't worth it. That there had to be something more to life than sucking cocks while tied up for some dirty pictures. Then I met Randolph and it all made sense to me," said Mabel with a dreamy expression in her eyes.
"So how did you get your leg injured then?" Gloria inquired with a furrowed brow.
"Oh, I didn't quit work then entirely, I just went back to nudie shots. I made it clear that I didn't want to do any fucking on camera, not even vegetables up my pussy or anything like that."
"Good for you. I'm glad you took the high moral road."
"Laugh if you want to but I'm serious. I was really heading in the wrong direction. The money was so appealing that I was ready to do just about anything. You know they even make dirty movies? They call them stag films or something like that. It's like an old silent movie but the actors actually fuck. They were offering me a lot for that and it was tempting. But where does all of that lead?"
"Color and sound?" Gloria suggested facetiously.
"Be serious! I didn't want to be that person anymore. It's not that I had anything against it but it seemed like a one-way ticket to trouble. A lot of these models I work with are kind of hop heads, if you know what I mean. And the photographers like to smoke those funny cigarettes. It just seemed like jail or white slavery was in my future and I didn't much like the sound of that. Then magically Randolph appeared and everything fell into place."
"Oh, baby I hope you're marrying him for more than just respectability. Do you love him?"
"More than you can imagine! He's wonderful Gloria. I can't wait for you to meet him."
"At least if you really do burn yourself on the stove you'll have medical attention standing by."
"Do you hate me for leaving you?"
"Yes, but I love you even more so I'm thrilled if you're really happy."
It had certainly come as a surprise but it was a pleasant one, if bittersweet. Fortunately it wasn't like Mabel was going to be moving across the country so hopefully they would still be able to see each other a fair amount. It was the loneliness of being by herself that really depressed Gloria the most. Of course she didn't have to sleep alone if she didn't want to, the town was full of men who would gladly accept that invitation, but that wasn't really the same as rooming with your best friend.
There was a little bit of jealousy too, in that Mabel had seemingly found the magic path out of the grind of constantly having to hustle up jobs. She was giving up the glamour and potential for stardom but that had never been as important to Mabel as it was to Gloria anyway. Since coming to Hollywood Mabel's primary success in show business had been posing for some nude photos. It was a waste of a talented dancer. So was getting married for that matter but being married to some nice doctor beat the hell out of waiting tables and doing nudie shoots while hoping for some big break in a show to come along.
So Gloria would be a maid of honor. There was another event that she could never have anticipated transpiring back when she had a cock and balls. She had worn a wedding outfit once in the show where she started pretending to be female but she had assumed that it was as close as she would ever actually get to being part of a wedding party...or at least the part that wore dresses.
It made Gloria think about her own future. Maybe it was time for her to settle down as well. Find some nice guy and give up this crazy dream of fame and fortune. There were probably worse ways to spend the rest of your life. Of course Gloria hadn't been raised to dream of a house and home with some swell fellow who would take care of her. She had never been anyone's daughter and heard the speech about her duties and responsibilities as a woman. So far she had just been living pretty much the way she always had and it hadn't gone so badly.
She had learned a little something about the domestic side of life when she took care of Dr. Lavinsky's home. She still wasn't a dynamo in the kitchen or anything but if her job was to take care of her man someday she figured she could do it.
But then why did she have to even think of that? She was still just getting her feet wet in the business and already she had seen and done so much. So her first screen test didn't lead to anything, so what? There could be others. Timing was very important. Maybe she just hadn't been exactly what the studio was looking for at that precise moment in time. She was young and had many good years ahead of her. Why even put thoughts of settling down in her head at this point? Just because that's what so many women had been taught to do? She had been doing pretty good without a man's help, once Hank had moved on. Did she really need a man to take care of her?
If the right guy came along it might be wonderful to shack up with him, or even get married for the sake of appearances. But that didn't automatically mean she had to give up her career and strap on an apron. There were lots of successful women in this town who had maids and servants to take care of the house. You didn't see movie stars out hanging the laundry on the line. It was great for Mabel because Mabel felt like she wasn't going anywhere and had prepared herself all of her life for the big day when a man would pop the question. But Gloria wasn't Mabel and it didn't seem like the time to be doing anything just for the sake of it. Not while there was a war going on at any rate.
CHAPTER 17:
Gloria became more dedicated than ever to volunteering her time to any endeavors that helped the war effort, or more specifically benefited service personnel. Ironically she had fallen in love with the military, or at least the men who served in it. She still sang in the band and went on the occasional modeling job but she felt like her career could wait. She was working for a much bigger cause now.
Despite her charitable efforts, or perhaps because of them, Gloria did land another screen test, this time with RKO. The routine was pretty similar to the first test she had taken but to her disappointment they didn't ask her to sing or dance. They were interested more in her looks and her quasi-celebrity status. If she could sing, so much the better, but that wasn't the main thing on their mind.
Much to her surprise and delight Gl
oria was offered a contract and went to work at an actual Hollywood movie studio. Her first role required very little acting at all as she played a nightclub singer in a low budget detective film. This was technically a "B" picture which meant that it was smaller in scale than a primary studio feature and didn't have any big name stars. Although RKO was a major studio they had found that these little pictures could be quite profitable and it wasn't uncommon at all to stick your new talent into a variety of different types of films to see if they caught on or seemed to fit one genre or another.
She only had a couple of lines but she did get to sing, ironically since she didn't even audition as a singer, and it was just a thrill to actually be part of the process of making movies. It seemed like it might be a good idea to learn something about acting so she started taking lessons. She was photogenic and seemed very natural on screen, which was a start, but she knew she would have to improve if she were ever to advance out of the "B" movie pool.
Her personal life was starting to get a bit more interesting as well as she was seen around town being escorted by a number of dashing Hollywood heartthrobs. It was great publicity and Gloria didn't mind the attention at all. How many girls get to date the men they've pined away over in the cinema?
"So tell me, are you and Clyde Collins really an item or what?" asked Mabel one day as Gloria was helping her with the fitting of her wedding gown.
"Oh, hell no," Gloria replied casually. "I mean we've fucked a few times and he's a nice enough guy I suppose but there's nothing serious going on there."
"That's not what it says in the magazines."
"I hate to break this to you but a lot of what gets written in those magazines is a crock of shit," Gloria said with a laugh. "It came as a shock to me too. I always assumed if they printed something it had to be true but now that I've seen behind the curtain I know there's a lot of hogwash wrapped up in it."
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