by Finn, Emilia
Sipping my drink, I walk away from the couple, and head back to my living quarters. They’ll come find me when they’re done, and then maybe I can continue my plan of not thinking about Abigail. But until then…
I walk through my door – it’s solid steel, and effectively creates a panic room away from the rest of my business – and close it up behind me. Stepping into my living room, I drop down onto my leather couch and lift my feet to the coffee table with a grunt. The TV reflects me back at myself, so all I see is a large couch dwarfed by a larger man.
I’ve never disliked being tall. In fact, I kinda loved it. But now that Abigail provides a direct contrast, it’s odd.
I’ve never in my life spent so much time thinking about height and weight.
I don’t turn my television on. I just sit in the quiet with my drink, and think about everything and nothing. I take out my phone, but it’s not like she even has my number. I don’t have hers, but it would take me only a second to look it up in a certain software system Sophia developed and installed on all of our devices.
The resources I have now are second to none, resources available to me only because of who’s on my team. Nobody else is as hooked up as us, or as skilled a marksman or hacker. Finding data on people now is just as easy as it was to let myself into Abigail’s apartment last night. Just as easy as it was for me to plan and order a better security system for her flimsy setup.
If any other man thinks he can let himself into her home without her permission, he’ll have to answer to me.
If any man thinks he can walk in while she’s naked and vulnerable, I’ll have him dealt with so she never has to see him again.
I’m aware of the hypocrisy. I know I constantly push Abigail into vulnerability, I know I push her limits and make her cry. I know if another man was treating her the way I do, I’d kill him. But I can’t help myself. I can’t stop this train anymore. Now I just hope she jumps on board and comes along with me for the ride of her life.
After that… I’m not sure.
Will she still be something I crave once I get a taste? Will I walk away like I’ve walked away from every woman I’ve ever spent time with? Will I stay, if only because of the claim I can’t seem to stop, to force other men away when she finally shows a little ankle, and they come sniffing?
Fucked if I know, but that’s a problem for later. For now, I just want to know if she’ll come to me.
10
Abigail
“Aw, hey, Abby Cadabby. You came back.” Mitch walks through Nix’s front door, through the living room, and around to the back of the couch I sit on. He grabs my cheeks and pulls me back so I look at him upside down, then presses a noisy kiss on my forehead and doesn’t stop until I laugh. “I missed your face.”
“I saw you two days ago.” I bat his hands away, but let out a contented sigh when he drops down beside me and pulls me close. “I would have seen you this morning, but you’re the one who likes to work more than he eats.”
He rolls his eyes. “I gotta work, kiddo. Tell me about the wedding. How’d it go?”
Heat pools low in my belly, because when he says ‘wedding,’ I don’t think of Jess and Kane Bishop, like I should. I think about a certain run-in with a certain someone in the bathroom. And then another run-in. Another bathroom.
“Um, it went great. Everything looked amazing, the bouquet didn’t fall apart when Jess tossed it,” – I assume – “and the table pieces looked fantastic.”
“You got paid, right?”
“Of course I got paid! Sheesh.” I lift my feet to the couch and turn into him a little as Nixon stands and heads to the kitchen. “They paid a month ago, in fact. And tipped a heap more yesterday morning when I delivered the flowers to the reception. You’re mean when you judge them without knowing them.”
“I’m not judging them,” he scoffs. “I’m judging you.” He looks at me with the most magnificent shade of green eyes. “You’re a sucker for romance, and you’d rather let them have all your work for free in exchange for a front row seat to the ceremony. Anything to see the kissy faces.”
“That’s not true.” I turn away and scowl. “I was invited to the ceremony. It was beautiful, by the way. Super romantic, considering he kept touching her belly and whispering how much he loved her.”
“Abigail…”
“I’m allowed to be a romantic, Mitchell! But I also collected my pay and deposited it in my bank. You don’t need to micromanage my life anymore.”
“I’m just making sure your power stays on, kid. Good deeds, and hearts in people’s eyes won’t pay the bills. If your shop closes because you forgot to charge people, you won’t get invited to weddings anymore, which would be the real tragedy, wouldn’t it?”
“No, the real tragedy is that I have five brothers and absolutely zero sisters-in-law or nieces and nephews to spoil. How about that?”
Chuckling, he accepts a beer when Nix comes back, and tips it back for a sip. I accept a soda, and turn to the television to stare and pretend I’m watching.
“You’re worse than Mom, I swear.” Mitch knocks my knee with his arm. “You need to focus on your own shit and stop worrying about me and my love life.”
“And you need to stop swearing just because you’re not creative enough to come up with a better descriptor word.”
“Burn,” Nix teases. “Abby has all the sass lately. Did you notice?”
“I really did.” Mitch lifts a brow that used to mean a beatdown back when we were kids. “I don’t know where she’s picking it up, but I don’t like it at all.”
“It might be her new crowd.” Nix leans forward and tries to catch my eye. “Who is your crowd now, Abigail? Are they peer pressuring you and making you smoke?”
“Ew, no.” I scowl for real this time, and ignore the way my brothers stare at me from both sides. “Smoking is disgusting. You guys suck. And I’m really trying to watch this movie.”
“She said we suck!” Nix hoots. “Cheese and rice, somebody is in a bad mood today.”
They would be too, if they were living my life right now. I’m me, Abigail the Protected and Safe, but now I’m supremely confused about feelings I’m having for a man that does things to my body no man ever has before.
He admits he doesn’t do feelings, and challenges me to accept something fun.
“I don’t do fun!”
My face drains when I realize I spoke out loud, but all I get is a scoff from Mitch, and a thoughtful nod of Nix’s head.
“No shit. I don’t remember the last time you had fun, kiddo. You’re always working at the shop, always sitting on that cold floor and playing with your flowers. You send Nadia out to talk to the customers as often as you can, and speak only to the brides when they want to talk lovey-dovey shit. It’s not like I want you to go out and start clubbing or anything, but you live so far to the opposite extreme, you make me worry.”
I turn to him and smart off, “Ya know what, Nix? Let’s double date. You bring a nice girl to dinner, and I’ll ask a guy to be my date.”
“Hey now.” Mitch glowers. “Nobody said anything about you dating. He said have fun, get coffee on a Saturday morning with a friend.”
“A female friend,” Nix adds.
“Dress up in jeans that fit you. Leave your apartment for once–”
“I leave my apa–”
“And go somewhere other than here or work,” he finishes. “Do something with your day that’s just for you.” My brother takes my hand and squeezes. “Live, Abby. That’s the whole point, right?”
Live.
My heart picks up into a gentle gallop at the very thought of living. Of doing something purely selfish and for me.
It’s such a foreign thought, really, because I’ve existed under this umbrella of survival for so long, I’ve done everything I could to make my family happy, to make them comfortable, and to ease their worry. My business is the only thing I’ve done, the only choice I’ve ever made that was purely selfish.
He admits to being bad for me, but in the same breath, he declares me his, and my innocence his to take.
It would be crazy, and I know eventually it would hurt, because I form connections, I latch onto hearts and hold on, because I can’t be so casual with love. I know that, no matter how crass and mean he is, if I give him that piece of my soul, I’ll forever love him, even if it’s just as the man I first went to bed with. I’ll forever romanticize him, because he promised to be gentle the first time. But when he eventually brushes me off – and he will, he doesn’t make a secret of the fact he’s come to conquer – and then moves on, I know his dismissal will hurt.
But I still sit between my brothers, and consider taking the chance.
That’s the point of living, right?
My handbag sits on the side table across the room, but my ringtone has been set up for work and private. Both are urgent for me, both demand I answer, but one makes me run – if my brothers are calling, I almost always run to answer – but if it’s work, I don’t panic quite as much.
Right now, my ringtone says work, and though my major function is now behind me, and my next wedding isn’t for another month, I still unfold my legs and stand with a grunt, to my brothers’ eyerolls and I told you so glares.
They act like being a workaholic is out of character for my family. They act like the hours I put in every week are unachievable for most regular folks, but they’re the ones who work twelve and twenty-four-hour shifts. They’re the ones who work nights and run toward danger.
I work a lot of hours, but I enjoy every single one of them, and I’d hardly call playing with flowers a hardship.
Reaching the table before the call rings out, I dig a hand into my bag and fish out my flashing cell. I frown at the name that greets me, but then I answer and lean against the table.
“Jessica?”
“Hi, Abigail! This is actually Laine, Jessie’s sister.”
“Um.” I know my face flames red from memories of her walking in on Spence and I at the wedding reception. I turn away from my brothers and face the wall to hide my blush. Why her? Why did she have to walk in? “Hello. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I’m great, actually. I’m on a very special mission to reach out to you.”
“Uh, okay… Is everything okay?”
“Mmhmm. I mean, there’s this little thing that happened today. It’s kind of a big deal, and I was given orders to tell you about it.”
Put me out of my misery. I beg you!
“What thing happened today?”
I swear I can hear Laine’s teasing smile.
“I became an aunt. Twice!”
“The babies are here?” I swing around with a grin that takes up my whole face. My humiliation is forgotten, the warmth in my cheeks is now because of happiness, and not because I’m thinking of Spencer Serrano. “Oh my freakin’ gosh!”
Mitch and Nix watch me curiously, then Mitch turns to our brother with a lifted brow. “She said freakin’.”
“It’s the drugs,” Nix murmurs. “Bad influences everywhere.”
“The babies are here. They arrived a few hours ago, and now that mom and babies are settled in, Jess told me to call you.”
“Me?” I press a hand to my heart and bite my lip, because I’m an emotional crier, and she’s going to undo me. “Why did she want you to call me?”
“Because she knew you’d want to meet them. She said you’ve been insanely interested for months, and you made her promise to share the news when she was well enough to make calls.”
“I did say that.” My heart pounds. Heavy, singular thumps that slam against my palm and make me smile. “I said that, but she didn’t have to call me. This is a time for family. Tell her to call me in a few days. Or, ya know, a week or whatever. Tell her to call me when she’s home and comfortable. I’ll bring her oatmeal cookies and a heat pack.”
“So you’re saying you don’t want to meet them right now?” I swear, I imagine her twirling hair around her finger and fighting her smile. “There are two of them, and I can only hold one at a time. Are you seriously telling me you’re passing this up?”
“Of course I want to meet them!” My eyes pop wide at my outburst. “Are you insane? I’m totally on my way if Jess is okay with it.”
“She’s totally okay with it. Come on down. They’ve been moved to the wards. Everyone is healthy and happy, seeing as they were forty weeks overdue and fully baked.”
“Oh my gosh. Okay! I’m on my way. Do you guys need me to bring anything? I can drop into the store on the way.”
“Oh, sure. She’s dying for a candy bar right now. Snickers. Those are her favorites.”
“Okay!”
“And chocolate milk. She’s trying her hand at breastfeeding two Bishop babies at the same time. She needs to stock up.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour. I promise.”
I swipe a thumb across my screen and hang up, then I press my hands to my chest and do a dance. A real bouncy, weirdo-jumping-on-my tiptoes, squealy dance. Then I turn back to my brothers and cackle.
“The babies are here!”
Mitch studies me as though I’m a stranger to him. His brows are lifted, and his lips pulled into a smirk as he turns to Nix. “Is it too late to send her to rehab?”
“Oh, shut up!” I snatch up my bag and pull my keys out. “Who wants to come?”
“I have to work,” Nixon grumbles. “I’m starting in an hour. You guys go.”
I rush forward and snag Mitchell’s hand and try to pull him to his feet. He’s far too heavy for me to even budge, but he takes pity on me and climbs off the couch with a grunt. “Guess I’m going to see babies. Yippee.”
“Be quiet, grouch. Luc is your friend, and he just became an uncle. Let’s go celebrate!”
* * *
I tiptoe through the doorway of Jess’ room with a plastic bag in my left hand, my handbag slung over my shoulder, and my brother’s reluctant hand clutched in my right. He was ready to run, but I really, really want to see the babies, so I drag him forward and swallow my nerves at the muted buzzing that comes with a dozen people in one small room.
The curtain has been pulled closed, and the sun has already dipped below the horizon, so the room is shadowed as I try to quietly finger the curtain open, only for the plastic bag to noisily crinkle and draw everyone’s attention as I peek into the room.
Jess lays back in her hospital bed with a scarily pale face and wires connected to her arm, but her brand-new husband lays right beside her, with his head on her shoulder and his fingers playing with hers. He doesn’t get up when I enter, nor does he get up when Mitch drags his feet and reluctantly enters behind me, though he does lift a quizzical brow.
The visitor’s chair is occupied by Laine. Laine’s boyfriend, Angelo, sits on the arm of the chair, looking down while she holds one of the babies. My lips quiver at the tiny, pink bundle wrapped in a tight blanket while she sleeps. But then I let my eyes wander until I find Luc, the twins’ blond brother, while he holds a second pink bundle.
“Two girls?” My voice cracks, which is so dumb. But happy tears are always better than sad tears, so I accept them and smile while I run a hand beneath my nose. “You got baby girls?”
“Hey.” Jessie doesn’t move a muscle. She looks entirely too comfortable lying beside Kane Bishop, but her smile helps ease my heart when I think of her paleness and the possibility that she lost a lot of blood while giving birth. “You made it. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
“Of course I made it.” I leave Mitch at the door and move across t
he small room. Kane is closest to the door, but the other side of the room is crowded with people, so instead of trying to tiptoe through everyone, I come to Kane’s side and lean over him to give Jess a hug. “Congratulations, Mommy. I’m so happy for you. Here.” I lift the bag and pull out the Snickers. “I brought you–”
“Actually, that was for me.” Even with the baby in her arms, Laine jumps up and snatches the candy from my hand. “She needs protein, not sugar. I’ll take care of these for you.”
Laine passes the bag to Angelo, and when she asks without words, but with a flutter of her lashes, he tears the wrapper open with a sly smirk and hands it back.
“Thank you, Abby. I was starving.”
“Oh, okay.” I nervously snicker, then bring my eyes back to Jess and stare. “I’m just…” I study her electric blue eyes, though they’re shadowed under exhaustion. Her skin is a little splotchy, and her hair a mess, but Kane watches her like she’s his every thought, and that makes her flawless. “Wow. I mean, you had babies, Jess. Two of them at once.”
She grins. “I kinda did.”
“Are you well? Healthy? Everyone is okay?”
“I’m not okay,” Kane drawls. “I saw the inside of my wife’s guts today. Swear, I nearly passed out.”
Jess playfully laughs, only to stop it in an instant and grunt. “No laughing.”
“Sorry, baby.” Kane pushes up to press a kiss to her cheek. “I love you so much.”
“Love you too.”
“You saw the inside of her stomach? She had a cesarean?”
“Mmm. I was hoping to have them out my… ya know,” Jess answers. “We waited for my water to break and for labor to start, but shit got scary pretty fast.”
“We adapted,” Kane adds. “Sometimes shit happens, and we have to adapt. An hour after we walked in here, I became a daddy to twin girls. I think I’m kinda in shock still.”
I swipe a tear from the top of my cheek and laugh. “Twin girls. That’s so precious.” I cast a glance across the bed and stop on Laine. Both babies are covered in matching blankets and hats with pretty bows on top. “They’re identical? How will you tell them apart?”
