by P J Mann
It was almost like nothing had ever happened and he was almost smiling.
“Hello everybody,” Jonathan said. “I am sorry if because of me, this group session was delayed. I don’t know what was going on with me, but thankfully now it seems like the worst is passed. However, I have been thinking a lot about this therapy, and perhaps this is not something that fits me. I am started to consider the possibility to leave the group and start a different type of psychotherapy.”
Everybody was surprised about that decision. It was true that the start wasn’t the best for Jonathan, but everybody thought that he might have given the therapy more time to prove its validity.
“Are you sure? Did you already make up your mind about it, or you are just contemplating the idea?” Asked Sabina.
“I had my time to think about it yesterday, while I was resting in my room. It is not an easy decision, and I do understand that I am just at the beginning of the therapy, but I do not feel comfortable about it,” Jonathan replied.
“I will miss you,” said Max, “would you like to keep in touch? We might hang out every now and then when this therapy period is over.”
“Sure,” Jonathan replied uncertainly. “Whenever I won’t be too busy with my exams, I would definitely like to get to know you better.”
Dr. Wright nodded, “Mr. Abbey, it is indeed a pity that you’ve decided to leave the therapy so early. Nevertheless, I will give you the telephone number of one of my associates at the clinic, who will follow your case more traditionally. I hope you can finally find a solution to your problem.”
Jonathan nodded.
“So when are you leaving?” Asked Carolina.
“I was thinking I would stay here until Sunday and then leave. It would be easier for me to arrange my coming back to work starting on Monday,” Jonathan replied.
The group therapy session that day felt like a goodbye. There was something in Jonathan’s behavior, that didn’t convince Laura at all. She was sure that there was a deeper reason behind the decision of leaving the therapy. She wasn’t by no means determined to figure that out, but the feeling that nothing was alright gave her too many thoughts.
I need to find a way not to think about it anymore, or I will end up with another sleepless night, she considered as she was walking to the afternoon yoga session.
As soon as the group therapy session was over, Dr. Wright sped his steps towards the room where Prof. Doyle had just finished setting up his new lab.
“What do you think?” said Prof. Doyle looking satisfied at his new workspace.
“Ehm… well, that looks impressive,” Dr. Wright replied.
That was not the reason why he came to see him, but he had to admit that it was indeed impressive the speed by which the delivery firm could bring all the necessary instrumentation and could set it up so to be operational in such a short time.
“But this was not the reason why you came to see me, is it?” guessed Prof. Doyle.
“I didn’t want to sound rude; you looked quite excited about your new laboratory equipment,” he replied. “Nevertheless, you’re right, and I came to talk about Mr. Abbey. The post-hypnotic order worked perfectly together with the drug, and he just announced that he is going to withdraw from the program starting on Sunday. However, we need to be ready to act already on Friday.”
“Why so early?”
“Because in case the drugs fail, and he remembers something, we need to take actions to avoid that he will run to the police and cast suspicion on our work,” explained Dr. Wright.
“This means that we have only two days to improve the drug’s composition and dose, choose the victim and give the hypnotic order. I forecast a sleepless night, at least for me,” replied Prof. Doyle.
“If you think I can be of any help, you just need to ask, perhaps with two, we can reach a solution within a shorter time,” Dr. Wright replied.
“Well that’s a kind of offer I cannot refuse; I will definitely need some extra help.”
Dr. Wright looked at his watch and shook his head, “I can help you after the individual psychotherapy sessions with Mrs. Lynn and Mr. Garcia-Gonzales; I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
Prof. Doyle smiled without replying and started to work immediately.
After a couple of hours, as he promised, Dr. Wright returned to Prof. Doyle’s room. He seemed to be in a hurry, and his expression betrayed him by showing his excitement.
“Is there something wrong?” Asked Prof. Doyle.
“No, but I have some news. After the private session with Mrs. Lynn, I started to put in order her files. I wasn’t expecting any distraction when Mr. M. called, and I asked him what we could do in case Mr. Abbey would remember.”
“Should I presume that he suggested simply getting rid of him…” Prof. Doyle said with a lower tone of voice, almost fearing what he just said.
“That was exactly what he suggested, and I told him that if that were the case, we might have needed his help. We are not talking about killing a prostitute in a foreign country.
“Once again, he assured me that in that case, he would take care of the situation personally, although I am not sure what he really meant by the word ‘personally.’”
Dr. Wright took a pause to collect his thoughts and explain to him what he had in mind. “As I resumed my work, I noticed something about Mrs. Lynn that impressed me.”
Prof. Doyle started to guess where he was leading the conversation and began to be interested in it.
“What I found out is that from the results of her EEG and the hypnosis session, is that in case Mr. Abbey fails; we might use Mrs. Lynn to do the dirty work and test a new drug. For this reason, I have invited Mrs. Lynn to come here where you can get more blood samples and test whether we might start to prepare her too.”
Prof. Doyle stood up from the chair and started to walk to and fro thinking about it, “I guess this is a brilliant solution, but let’s hope that at least one of them will not be able to recall anything, or we will have to involve all our patients to kill each other.”
“I knew you would have liked the solution. However, I share your concerns, and we need to be very careful with the drug dosage and implementations. I would prefer having everything work smoothly.”
Someone knocked on the door, and Carolina peeked gingerly inside the office of Prof. Doyle.
“Welcome Mrs. Lynn,” Prof. Doyle greeted her, standing up from his chair.
“I came here because Dr. Wright was worried about the dosage of the drugs, particularly after what happened to Jonathan…” she said.
“There is nothing to be concerned about, we just want to make sure that everything is fine with the dose and composition. Some people might be too sensitive to some of the components, and for this reason, we start to test those people we think might get sensitized to the cocktail,” he explained.
“I guess that makes sense,” she replied a bit uncertain. However, regardless of the calm attitude of Dr. Wright and Prof. Doyle, there was something that didn’t fit.
I am not sure whether I am getting as well conditioned by Laura’s paranoid behavior, but I can almost swear that there is something we all should know, and they keep to themselves, she thought.
The rest of the week seemed to go almost smoothly, and the guests at the hotel seemed to have already forgotten about the strange beginning of their therapy month. Nevertheless, when Sunday arrived, and Jonathan was going to leave the therapy group, the old feeling of that little something that wasn’t entirely as it should have been returned to haunt the souls of those who were supposed to remain for another three weeks. Particularly Laura felt Jonathan’s departure like a farewell.
“He was my neighbor, and when we could not sleep, we could chat from the balcony,” she said at the breakfast table.
Sabina smiled and put her hand on her shoulder to comfort her, “you can ask him for his email address. In three weeks we will end this therapy, and you can see each other.”
“I know, i
t sounds stupid, but I feel like we won’t see each other anymore. It has always been like that with people with whom I shared a limited period of my life; schoolmates, coworkers…” Laura started to recall. “We exchanged our email addresses, telephone numbers, but we never used them again. It was like once we weren’t sharing the same routine, we quit sharing the same planet too. We returned to be the strangers we were just minutes before introducing each other.”
“I can promise that you won’t get rid of me that easily,” Sabina said with an alluring smile. “By the way, you said you work at the main library; It is not a good hiding place.”
Laura smiled amused, “I really hope we won’t disappear from each other’s life.”
That evening, Laura could not really fall asleep, she thought about Jonathan wondering whether she would have met him again. She wasn’t falling in love with him. To be honest, he is not even my type of man, but he was able to intrigue me. Just like with Grant and Scott, we could have been friends once this therapy ends, she thought.
She went out on the balcony and looked around. Outside there was the usual peace, interrupted by the crickets in the garden, and the gentle breeze whispering through the trees.
“It would be the perfect weather to fall asleep, feeling soothed by the sound of nature,” but the darkness in Jonathan’s room, made her feel restless and sad.
“As he was going to leave, he looked like nothing ever happened; it was like he was happy to return to his life. Perhaps there is nothing bad with understanding that this kind of therapy wasn’t the right one for him.”
She looked around and noticed that, as usual, she was not the only one who couldn’t sleep. “We probably all have different reasons to stay awake; after all, this is the reason why we decided to take part in this therapy group,” she said returning to her room.
At about midnight, she could finally fall asleep, reading a book, but after a couple of hours, she was awakened by some noises coming from the corridor.
One noise, in particular, woke her up, and it was like a door slammed shut.
That is funny, I thought our doors were locked for the whole night, she thought as she reached the door of her room.
She tried to open it but was disappointed, she realized that it was indeed still locked.
If it wasn’t the door of any of the rooms of the other patients, then from where did it come from? She wondered, recalling that the bedrooms of Dr. Wright and Prof. Doyle were on another floor.
Could it be that someone from the hotel staff, who are working the night shift, accidentally slammed one of the doors, she thought, shaking her head.
“I cannot continue to get influenced by Jonathan’s paranoia. We are not the only people in this hotel, and I cannot expect the perfect silence when I know that at the same time people are working to keep this place up and running.”
Just to be sure, she walked towards the door and, once again, she tried to open it, just to make sure that it was indeed locked. At least if it was a thief, I could feel safe that he won’t be able to come in.
She walked back to her bed and grabbed her book once again, starting to read it from where she was interrupted before falling asleep.
“I must admit that at least this sort of therapy is working, for me. I have never felt sleepy by reading a book in bed,” Laura yawned.
Nevertheless, despite her sleepiness, the rest of the night went by quite agitated, and she could sleep just intermittently.
***
“I am trying to be as rational as possible,” Laura explained the day after during her individual therapy session. “However, I cannot help but get startled at every noise I hear coming from the corridor. Last night, for example, I was awakened by a door slamming shut. For how silly it might sound and, knowing that in a hotel this sort of noises can happen, I still feel agitated. Do you think I am still influenced by what Jonathan was saying about those noises?”
“Indeed, this is something that should have subsided now. I suggest you go to see Prof. Doyle and ask him to take some blood samples. He will perform some tests to find out whether we can adjust the dosage of the drugs one more time. Nevertheless, the second week has started, and perhaps you still need some time to adjust to the new environment. Let me ask you something, what is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about moving?” He asked.
Laura remained for a moment to think about it like she was supposed to move shortly. She thought about shifting all her furniture, the books. Although she was living frugally, the only thought to walk away from what was familiar to her since many years made her uncomfortable.
“I wouldn’t like the idea, if I had to move away, it must be because the whole building got destroyed by a blaze, for example. During those years, I have built relationships with the neighbors, I got used to the spaces of my apartment, to its surroundings and to the route I use to go to work. To be honest, I don’t feel eager to move away,” she replied. “Do you think that my difficulty to adapt to a new environment might have triggered this sort of paranoia?”
“That is exactly what I was thinking, but the results of the blood tests might help us at least to exclude that its simply a side effect of the drugs.”
As she left Dr. Wright’s office, Laura glanced at her watch. The session was longer than usual, but she felt relaxed and much more confident about the fact that in a place like a hotel, where the personnel are working on shifts all during the night, some noises are to be expected. She shook her head and smiled as she walked in the direction of the office of Prof. Doyle.
The fund they could use must have been quite generous – she thought – just the rent of this hotel for one month must cost a fortune, but Prof. Doyle could also organize his own lab, here.
She reached the room where Prof. Doyle was running some models, and absentmindedly, she just walked in without even knocking on the door.
Prof. Doyle looked surprised at her as she came closer to the desk where he was working, caught in the considerations of that improvised laboratory.
“May I help you?” He asked amused.
She almost jumped, as she was brought back from her thoughts. “Oh… sorry, I must have been too wrapped up in my own thoughts that I forgot my manners. Dr. Wright suggested I should come and have some blood samples to test for the dose of the drugs.”
“I know, we have been spoken about the possibility to recalibrate your dose early this morning. I would also like to take another series of tests if you don’t mind,” Prof. Doyle replied.
She smiled, “not at all if I can get healed from this cursing insomnia and also from this little hypersensitivity problem, I’m willing to get tested for anything.”
Prof. Doyle stood up from his chair, “Perfect, let’s then get started.”
After about one hour of numberless tests, she could get out of the lab, and get focused on the rest of the therapy program for the day.
In the evening, as she reached the hall for her regular meditation session, she noticed one particular thing that made her wonder. Carolina, who was generally the first to arrive at the room, wasn’t there yet.
Just when the session was about to get started, she appeared to the room, weakly apologizing for her delay. There was something strange about her, she looked tired but at the same time concerned about something.
“Carolina, I thought you were going to skip the session,” Laura greeted, smilingly.
She sat close to her and smiled weakly, “you won’t believe it, but I fell asleep, but still I do not feel rested at all. I think I will go straight to bed, after this session.”
“You will miss dinner,” Laura replied.
“Oh, yes dinner…” Carolina said almost whispering.
Laura looked at her and thought that perhaps she got a bit ill, that is something that can always happen. I hope she will get better soon, she thought.
That evening at the dinner table, Carolina was the only one to be missing, and people started to wonder about it, but as Dr. Wri
ght explained, she was unwell and preferred a light dinner in her room before going to sleep.
“I am wondering if she would also need to have her drugs recalibrated,” said Laura.
Gabriel looked at her, “you are really starting to sound quite paranoid, isn’t it normal to feel unwell from time to time?”
“Maybe you’re right, but you should have seen her today at the meditation, she looked like she was lost, or she had something that deeply concerned her. I wouldn’t have called her being ‘unwell.’ I cannot really define how did she look like, but it felt something that was going beyond a simple illness,” Laura replied.
“We do not all react to illness in the same way. Also, it might be that she had some personal issues that came up suddenly. As usual, we are all having contacts with our family during the day. The telephone at the reception is at our availability to call whoever we want whenever we want. What if she received bad news?” Gabriel insisted.
“Hmmm…” Laura said thoughtfully. “Perhaps you’re right, let’s see how she will feel tomorrow morning.”
“It is cute the way you care about everyone, sweetheart,” said Sabina. “Nevertheless, you cannot care about the whole world, and there are situations where you cannot help. You should focus more on your therapy and results.”
Laura shook her head, drawing a deep breath. “You’re right, I cannot save the whole world.”
Chapter 6.
The morning after, Laura woke up a bit later, feeling extremely happy for being able to sleep for more than five hours.
“A personal record!” she said, as she prepared for breakfast that morning. She felt eager to understand whether Carolina was feeling better after a good night sleep, or if she could sleep at all.
She hurried downstairs to the hall where the others were already gathered for breakfast and started to look around, searching for Carolina.
As soon as she spotted her, she walked over to talk to her. She looked better than the previous day, almost like nothing had ever happened.
“Yes, I had a call yesterday from my sister. Her daughter is having some problems with her health, and I got worried about it,” Carolina explained. “I am also a bit concerned about the fact that perhaps I need to leave the therapy to go and help her. I think I can continue with a different approach or to get another program to be followed.”
