‘No,’ he said harshly. ‘Not yet, Gracie.’
So she fought back—to know him. To make him feel as raw and exposed and as wanted as she did. They rolled together, thrashing out the passion in long, rough sweeps of hands and mouths, breath mingling, bodies straining.
‘Rafe. Please.’
Finally he gave her what she truly wanted—himself. His body invaded hers—fiercely dominant, ferocious, he clamped his arms around her. Searing, slow, sublime. She shook in total rapture. They were so close nothing could come between them—nothing was between them. Only pleasure. Only adoration. Only love.
It took a long time for her to come back to reality. When she did, he was slumped over her, still breathing hard, spent.
Emotion swamped her. The most intense emotion of her life. It wasn’t gratitude, or greed...it was something she had to give to him. Something she could no longer keep contained.
‘Rafe...’ She rubbed her fingertips over his roughened jaw. ‘I—’
‘Don’t say it, Gracie,’ he whispered harshly in her ear. ‘Don’t.’
She stilled. ‘I have to be honest. I won’t hide how I feel about you.’
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. ‘You don’t feel anything.’
Shocked, she dropped her hand. ‘You don’t get to deny me—my voice, my feelings, my life. I would share it all with you, Rafe. You know I would.’
‘Don’t—’
‘I’ve fallen in love with you.’ She blurted it.
‘Adoration,’ he said, pulling back from her. ‘That’s all. You said it yourself.’ He released a harsh sigh and vaulted off the bed, scooping up a towel.
‘You know it’s not that.’
He turned back to face her, his expression remote. ‘I can’t give you what you want.’
‘What makes you think I want anything from you?’ She lifted her chin. ‘Perhaps I just want to give.’
‘Everybody wants something. There’s always a price.’
Oh, that hurt. ‘Not for love. Real love is unconditional, Rafe. Real love just is. You can’t stop it. You can’t deny it.’
He glared at her. ‘Would you just let me take and take and take from you? You’d let me have all your goodness, all your energy, all your generosity until I’m sick of it and cast you aside? You’d settle for that? No.’ He shook his head. ‘You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t even come to Paris with me for a few days.’
She sat up and curled her arms around her knees. ‘I offer my love. I don’t expect you to love me back. But I do expect you to respect my feelings. Not to deny them. And, no, I understand that you don’t want what I’m offering. So I’ll not “settle”. I know that when I walk out the door today, it’s goodbye. I know it’s over.’
‘Then why say it?’ he asked in pure frustration. ‘I don’t want this to be over. Not like this. Not yet.’ He shook his head. ‘Why couldn’t you have left it unsaid?’
‘Because I won’t hide. I won’t deny. I won’t keep secrets. Because I do deserve more.’ She angled her head and fought. ‘And so do you. You just don’t believe you do.’
‘It doesn’t exist, Gracie. The happy-ever-after you want is a fantasy. Fairy tales are not real.’
‘Emotions are real, Rafe.’ She got off the bed and grabbed her clothes, holding them in front of her.
‘Really? You’re lecturing me on facing emotions? The woman who spends her life pretending everything is perfect? Who can’t admit to her boss when she’s too tired to work because she’s scared of letting her down and losing her friendship?’
Oh, that was low.
‘You live in this fairy-tale world,’ he continued harshly. ‘But you’re still scared to be anything but happy and glad as if the world here is the most perfect place. You say you’re honest. But you’re not. And the person you’re not honest with is yourself.’
His attack stunned her. ‘I just opened up to you.’ She was so hurt. ‘But because I’ve dared to admit that I care about you, you’re now turning on me? What—must there be something wrong with me if I love you? You’re more broken than I thought. Do you truly think someone can’t possibly love you?’
An undefined emotion kindled in his eyes, something even stronger than the anger she’d seen in him before.
‘I can never be the person you want me to be, Gracie. I never had the kind of home you dream of. I look around the villa and to me it’s all empty rooms with the possibility of paying guests. The world you want is alien to me. I don’t want links—chains—to the past.’
He was lying. Pushing her away. Punishing her for what she’d just said. Wasn’t he?
‘And yet you bought this villa,’ she said.
‘It was a good business opportunity.’
‘And that’s all?’
‘No. It was the remnants of a childhood fantasy. It wasn’t real. It didn’t bring me happiness. Relationships, memories, trinkets, they don’t do that. Freedom does that for me. Financial freedom. And emotional. I need to be free, Gracie. I can’t bear the burden of your happiness.’
His words completely cleaved her. That wasn’t what she wanted either—and her anger flared. ‘I’m not asking you to do that. All I’ve done is tell you how I feel and, of course, you can’t handle that. I expect nothing from you.’ She stepped back. ‘Give me some space so I can finish getting dressed.’
He left the room immediately.
She sat back on the bed, drawing in a strangled breath. She’d known, hadn’t she? This was why she’d refused his invitation to Paris—because what was nothing but easy to him was so much more meaningful to her.
* * *
When she went downstairs ten minutes later, he was lingering near the front door. ‘I’ve been thinking—’
‘How novel,’ she interrupted curtly.
He folded his arms across his chest and sent her a look. ‘I can get someone else to cater for the party.’
‘You’re taking away the contract from us?’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘Because you and I aren’t sleeping together any more? Because I dared tell you how I feel about you?’
‘Don’t bring the personal into this.’
She stared at him, shocked at his gall. ‘You’re the one who can’t separate business from personal. You want to punish me for caring?’
‘No,’ he answered softly. ‘I don’t want to hurt you any more than I have.’
Pride made her want to lie, to deny he’d hurt her at all. But then he’d win. He’d be another person affecting her so much she was no longer true to herself. She wasn’t going to hide her emotions. Not from him.
‘You can’t,’ she said simply. ‘I’m hurt, Rafe. You’ve already hurt me as much as it’s possible for me to hurt. But by doing this you’re hurting my co-workers as well. You’re hurting my friend, my employer and her bottom line. I can hold it together. I’m not going to have a tantrum or look at you with tearful eyes.’ She walked past him to the door. ‘Go score another woman. Whatever you want. I won’t be watching you. I’m capable of doing my job because I’m a professional and I can control my emotions. The question is, are you?’
‘This is the way you want to play it?’
‘I’m not playing anything. I’m being honest. I want to do my job. You’re leaving Bellezzo, but it’s my home. I’m not going anywhere. I’d like the contract.’
‘If that’s what you want.’
‘It is,’ she said with dignity. ‘We’re halfway through the preparations and you won’t get anything as good as what we can provide in this short time frame. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to starve your guests.’
He was very still. ‘I don’t want you serving the food,’ he gritted.
That she could be even more hurt by him was a shock. ‘I’ll be sure to stay hidden in the kitchen,’ she said in a strangled voice.
‘That wasn’t what I—
’ He bit off whatever he was going to say and a look of absolute frustration contorted his face. ‘Let me give you a lift back into the village.’
She’d recovered her emotion again—just. ‘No, thanks.’
‘Gracie.’ He stepped after her.
‘I can’t stay to chat longer. I need to get home before it gets dark. This Red Riding Hood shouldn’t have strayed so far from the path, should she? There’s a wolf in these woods. That’ll teach me for living in my perfect, fairy-tale world.’
CHAPTER TWELVE
RAFE WALKED ALONG the lakefront, looking back at the villa that was currently being decorated by a team of lighting and sound experts. He’d only arranged the stupid party in the first place to have an excuse to see Gracie again. What a fool. He should have called it off and left Italy already.
Except he hadn’t been able to do that to Gracie and Francesca. Gracie had been right when she’d taken him to task the other day. They’d worked too hard, they’d got in the supplies needed. Of course, he could have just paid for it all, but it wasn’t about the money. It was the impression and the connections they could make. He wanted that for them. They deserved it. It was one little thing he could actually give her. Because what she’d said she wanted was impossible.
He was still furious with her for ruining what had been a perfectly suitable arrangement. Everything had been great. He’d been happy. She’d been happy. But it hadn’t been enough for her. Even when he’d warned her. He’d told her right at the start and she’d said she was okay with what he could offer her. She’d lied. Her declaration of love had been a betrayal of that honest arrangement between them. And then her damn dignity?
How was it possible that he’d insulted her—he’d completely rejected her—and yet she still saw what she believed to be the best in him? Her hope, her optimism was unsinkable. He was even more furious with her. What made it worse was that he still wanted her.
‘Mr Vitale.’
‘Alex.’ He turned in surprise. ‘I wasn’t expecting to see you.’
His team had flown in two days ago and taken over the arrangements. He’d holed up in the large study and pretended he wasn’t even in Italy. He hadn’t expected to see any of the Bellezzo residents until the party. He’d wanted it that way.
‘I wanted to ensure everything looked right for tonight,’ Alex explained. ‘I was able to convince your new security to let me in.’ Alex paused. ‘And I wanted to give you something.’
‘Oh?’ Rafe didn’t trust the old man’s bland expression.
‘I’ve been crafting new roses for years. It’s both hobby and career. This perfect bloom is mine.’ He held out the rose.
Rafael had no option but to take it from him.
‘If it suits, I’m going to plant it all along the eastern access pathway.’
‘Of course. I appreciate your skill, Alex.’
‘It’s called Aurora Grace. Aurora was my wife, the most beautiful woman you ever saw.’
‘That’s lovely.’ Rafe tried to walk away because he really didn’t want to hear any more. But Alex walked with him.
‘I chose Grace because the plant is generous to a fault. She has abundant petals and abundant roses. She keeps blooming even when it’s not in her best interests for her own survival, but she just keeps on giving.’
Rafe stopped and stared at the old man in silence. But his glare just bounced off the man.
‘She needs some special care,’ Alex added.
Talk about laying it on thick. But he couldn’t hate the man for it, it was oddly good to know Gracie had someone in her corner. She didn’t deserve to be alone.
‘Then the plant is very lucky to have you to tend it. The whole garden is. I appreciate it.’ Rafe spoke through gritted teeth. ‘You should probably know I’ve decided to sell the villa, it doesn’t fit with the rest of my portfolio, so I’d like you to continue to maintain the roses until the new owner takes control.’
‘Of course.’ Alex’s expression toughened. ‘It’s a pleasure for me to care for it. I don’t consider it hard work. Not work at all.’
Rafe turned his back on the pointed tone. Hard work? Gracie James was the easiest woman in the world for anyone normal to love. She ought to be nestled in the centre of a loving family with all the security that she craved. She needed someone strong to create that for her. She needed a man who could give her everything. Rafe could give her money, travel, jewels but she didn’t want those. She wanted the one thing he couldn’t give. His heart was too shrunken and scarred for her to have. It wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough. She deserved more than what he could offer. So he’d get out of her way.
The problem was, she was there. In the villa, permeating the walls with her gorgeous scent, with her mouth-watering skills—both pastry and personal. She made him want. His assistant had been surprised by his request to use the local bakery for the food. But he’d known she could do it.
* * *
Over eighty guests descended on his peace. Catering staff poured champagne. The DJ from LA sent good beats echoing across the lake. And Gracie James gave every damn guest’s taste buds an orgasm.
He was furious with her for stripping herself back so openly and pushing him into craving something he’d never wanted. He’d never wanted to think about her all the time. He’d never wanted to feel guilty. He’d never wanted to miss her. He’d never wanted to wonder if he’d been wrong.
And now she was there—where he could see her. Smiling as she served her pastries. She was wearing a very simple, discreet black dress. As if she could somehow blend into the background?
He stalked his way through the crowd to talk to her.
‘There aren’t enough serving staff,’ she explained coolly as soon as she saw him.
‘It’s fine,’ he snapped.
But it wasn’t fine. He hated seeing other people looking at her, talking to her. Worse still, asking him who she was. He watched as she went back down the hallway and he saw one of the damn fashion photographers follow her.
When he got to the kitchen, she was putting a final few pastries on a loaded platter and the photographer was leaning on the counter near her and laughing.
‘Only catering staff are allowed in here,’ he said sharply. ‘Not guests.’
The man raised his eyebrows. ‘Sorry, Rafe.’ But the smile he sent Gracie wasn’t apologetic at all.
‘Was that necessary?’ She turned on him once the photographer had left. She looked pale, that ready smile didn’t spring to her lips for him any more. ‘He was only being polite.’
The guy wasn’t being polite. He had been making a play for her.
Rafe soaked up the emotion swirling in her eyes. But he couldn’t figure out what it was. Hurt. Defiance. Anger. Pride? All of that. And now he felt a heel.
She shouldn’t have come. He shouldn’t have stayed.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said gruffly.
‘Only because you feel guilty. But you don’t need to feel guilty.’ Her lips curved in a bright, meaningless smile. ‘Get over yourself, Rafe. There’s more to my life than you. So much more. Even here in my sleepy village where I’m buried and wasting my life.’
He grimaced at her echo of his insult. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘You’ve already said that.’ She lifted the tray and took it to the doorway, meeting one of the waitresses in the hallway before returning. ‘That was the last lot we have, so I’m done. Francesca will get our things in the morning.’
Gracie had made the best damn pastries ever, not for Francesca and the business but purely to spite Rafael. To prove that even though she was hurt, she was not wrecked. Never wrecked. And she’d succeeded. She’d had people coming up to her all night, complimenting her. Francesca had run out of business cards.
But she didn’t feel good. Victory was hollow because she hadn’t won what she’d really wanted. She hadn’t got
him.
He’d never put her first. He’d never admit his need...but maybe her thinking he even did need her was wishful thinking. Maybe he truly didn’t. He already had all these other people running to do his bidding. His life was so far removed from her own simple one. His was high-powered and wealthy and fast.
How could she have thought she’d forged any real kind of emotional connection with him? It had been a couple of weeks. An affair. And in another five minutes he’d forget about her. People always did. They got on with their own lives.
Now he stood silently, watching her wash her hands. She braced to walk away. But she couldn’t resist asking whether what she’d heard was true. ‘You told Alex you’re selling the villa.’
‘It seems a good time now the restoration is complete and it’s had some publicity. I only bought it out of petty spite to stop Leonard and Maurice from getting it.’ He shrugged. ‘Turns out they only wanted a last look at it anyway, so it was all a waste of my time. Joke’s on me.’
Pain whistled through her bones like an arctic gale. She’d hoped Alex had misunderstood.
‘You’re back to that line?’ she said. ‘It wasn’t a place that you wanted too?’ Hadn’t he loved it himself? Hadn’t he made memories there that he wanted to keep? Clearly not. He couldn’t wait to get away.
He didn’t love her. He was only bothered because he thought he’d hurt her and his conscience didn’t like that. And despite the humiliation, it was true, he had hurt her. But what hurt her most of all was the realisation that he was that damaged. That he’d miss out on so much because he couldn’t push past his own ingrained defences. But she couldn’t fix him. He didn’t want to be fixed. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with him. And she was furious with herself for being so damn soft where he was concerned.
‘You and I don’t want the same things,’ he said curtly.
‘You don’t know what you want, and even if you did, you couldn’t admit it,’ she said, and walked out of the back door—the servants’ exit.
Awakening His Innocent Cinderella Page 16
