by Hanna Peach
Somehow she almost believed him.
Inside was dim, lit only by a few stub candles and the small circle of light around Israel’s lantern. The air smelled like wet cardboard, stale butter and burned sugar. Israel kept her walking steadily with his arm around her. Through her damp clothes she could feel the heat of his body. She couldn’t help but to lean into him. Right now she needed him. Needed his strength, his warmth. He must have sensed this because he pulled her closer. A shiver went through her and Alyx told herself that it was just because she was feeling cold.
He sat her down in an alcove set into one of the internal walls of the theater foyer, semi-private seating that theatergoers would have once occupied before the show or during intermission. He wiped away the damp strands of hair that stuck to her cheek. “I’ll be back in a moment, okay? I’m not going far.”
He disappeared into one of the many curtained theater rooms that branched off the main foyer. Alyx wiped her eyes with her palms and looked around her.
It wasn’t hard to see how the Regent once stood. It wasn’t hard to imagine that in a not-so-distant past, ladies in full gowns and sparkling throats on the arms of gentlemen wearing top hats and tails walked these very halls. Now the rich carpet and fine gold drapery were faded and wrinkled. Rust had begun to corrode the bars that separated a row of ticket counters from the foyer.
Israel returned with roughly-folded clothes and a threadbare towel in his arms. He handed them to her. They were men’s clothes. “Here. They’re probably a bit big for you but at least they’re dry. You can wear them until your own clothes dry.” He turned around. “I promise I won’t peek.”
Alyx peeled away her damp clothes, dried herself as much as she could and dressed in the clothes that Israel had given her. “You can turn around now. I’m sorry, but your towel is soaked through.”
“I don’t care about the towel,” he said as he turned. “I…” Israel stared, a smile creeping across his face.
“What?” Alyx glanced down at herself.
“You look…absolutely ridiculous.”
Alyx sniffed. It was true. Her fingers didn’t reach the ends of the long-sleeved shirt, the crotch of her pants was down around her knees and the pant legs were bunched around her ankles. Israel grabbed the floppy ends of her sleeves, trapping her hands inside. He stretched the sleeves out wide so that she was forced to open up her arms too.
“Absolutely ridiculous,” he repeated as he laughed. “And the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Alyx gathered her indignation. “Well, I−” A loud insistent growling sound came from her stomach, interrupting her. She grimaced.
But his smile just widened. “Even your tummy rumbles are cute. Hungry?”
Alyx nodded.
Israel disappeared behind a counter. He returned with two dry bread rolls, which he handed to her. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to offer you.”
“Thank you. It’s more than enough.”
The bread was dry and tasteless in her mouth. Israel sat next to her in the alcove and let her eat in silence. Every time she looked up at him, he was gazing back at her with his soft brown eyes. What a sight she must have been on his doorstep: wild hair, swollen eyes, soaked through.
When she finished eating she said, “You’re being so kind to me. And you haven’t even asked me why I’m here.”
“I figured it would be a long story. I thought you should get dry and comfortable first.”
Alyx lowered her face and rubbed her eyes, discreetly wiping away the wetness that threatened to spill over. Israel remained wordless and she was grateful for his silence. In his silence she was able to steel herself once more.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” she said, her voice sounding as hollow as she felt. “You don’t know what it’s like to have the people who you trusted, who are supposed to care for you, turn against you. To be thrust out into the world all alone with nothing.” She looked up to Israel. Actually, she realized, he did know. He knew exactly. “I’m sorry. Of course you know.”
“What happened?”
“My own people are after me.”
“Why?”
“They think I stole something. I didn’t.”
“Why are they blaming you?”
“I broke into our leader’s chambers looking for something. But I didn’t take anything, I swear.”
“Breaking in seems like a serious thing to do. I’m guessing you had good reason to do it?”
She nodded.
“What were you looking for?”
“Information.”
“On what?”
“This is going to sound crazy.” She pressed her palm to her forehead.
He laughed softly. “Remember who you’re talking to.”
“Of course,” she said. “I think it’s time I admitted some things to you. But you have to promise not to freak out or get angry before I finish, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Remember the last time we met, you asked me how I happened to come by the alley in time to save your life…”
“A lucky coincidence.”
“It wasn’t. I knew you would be there. I knew you were being attacked.”
Israel frowned. “You…how?”
Alyx took a deep breath − no turning back now − and began to tell him about her visions of him. Then to prove she wasn’t lying, she described each one.
“Let me get this straight,” he said. “You see things through my eyes?”
“Essentially, yes. That’s how I knew where to find you.”
“Do you hear my thoughts as well?”
“Just whatever thoughts you have at the time.”
“That is...” his eyes blazed at her, “...so frickin’ cool.”
Her mouth parted as she sucked in air, realizing that she had been holding her breath. “You think so?”
“Think about it, Alyx. You have been inside my body, felt my heart beating as if it were your own, felt how I feel, thought as I thought. You know what it’s like for me.” He leaned forward as he spoke, grabbing her hands. “You don’t just know me, you know me.”
Alyx swallowed hard. His eyes had a way of making her feel like she was underdressed. For a moment she thought he might be able to see inside her as she did him.
“I have something of yours,” she said, pulling her hands away from his. She took the chain from around her neck and the ring pulled from the collar of the oversized shirt she was wearing. “The chain was broken when I found it, so I gave it a new one.”
“My ring,” Israel said as he took it from her, cupping it in his hands like a little bird. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“Did...did your girlfriend give it to you?”
“It was my mother’s. My real father gave it to her. It’s the only thing I have left of theirs.”
His mother’s ring. Not his girlfriend’s. Why was this a relief?
Her eyes followed his fingers as he put the chain around his neck and tucked the ring into his shirt. Israel’s fingers lingered where the ring rested at his chest. For some reason this made Alyx shiver.
“But why me?” he asked. “Why through my eyes?”
“I have been chosen as your Guardian. It’s an ancient bond between a mortal and a Seraphim. Apparently, the Guardian-bond ensures that I slip into your consciousness when you are in danger to help me protect you better. The bond is also why we were able to appear to each other the other night.”
“Guardian-bond?”
“I understand it happens when a mortal is destined for something...great. Something important.”
An odd look came over Israel’s face. “What could I possibly do that is great?”
“I’m not sure, but we have been bonded. Your destiny is real.”
Israel shook his head, looking a little dazed. “I think I need to sleep on this. It’s all too much right now. I can’t think properly.”
“But we need to work out a plan and ther
e are things−”
He shushed at her. “It’s late. I haven’t slept yet.”
Alyx stifled a yawn.
“It doesn’t look like you have either.” Israel took her hand and picked up the lantern. “Tomorrow, I promise, we’ll work through everything.”
Alyx didn’t protest again as he led her through the foyer, blowing out the candles along his way. He pulled her through a dark curtain, up a set of stairs and along a curved corridor. He stopped at a door that led to a small box overlooking a large theater. A thin mattress covered in a faded gray blanket lay in a corner, a pile of frayed books at its side. Alyx’s heart skipped a beat. This was where Israel slept.
“You can take the mattress,” he said. “I’ll take the floor.”
“I can’t kick you out of your bed. I’ll take the floor.”
“I wouldn’t feel right taking the bed while a lady sleeps on the floor.”
“I’m not taking the bed while you sleep on the floor.”
“It’s no use if neither of us takes the bed.”
Alyx bit her lip. “So what are you suggesting?”
“If you’re okay with it...perhaps we can share the bed?” He raised his hands up. “I promise no funny business. I can be a perfect gentleman…when I want to be.”
Her mouth was too dry to answer, so she just nodded.
Alyx stood by the side of the mattress. She wasn’t completely aware of it but she was worrying her lip with her teeth. Israel stood on the other side fingering the edges of his shirt. For a moment she thought he might take it off. Her heart started racing at the thought. Why? She had seen countless shirtless warriors without being affected like this.
But he didn’t. He cleared his throat, slipped in under the blanket and lay on his back. Alyx felt an odd mixture of relief and disappointment.
Israel looked enormous against the mattress. Surely he was taking up more than half the space. Surely there would be no room for her. Surely this was not a good idea.
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Are you getting into bed?”
Her cheeks felt warm. She was just standing there like an idiot. “Right. Of course. Bed. Yes.” Alyx pulled up part of the blanket and slipped in next to him, her back to him. This was fine. Fine. Plenty of room.
“Good night, Alyx.” He let out a low sigh. It sounded like it was coming from right by her ear. She closed her eyes as a small trickle of warmth spread from her neck and around her shoulders. Why did his voice make her feel like he could wrap her up in it?
Israel shifted behind her and she felt her whole body tense. Then he settled. Even though he wasn’t touching her, Alyx could feel her whole back getting warm. This close he seemed to emit a heated vibration that kept her whole body awake. Just a reaction from the Guardian-bond, she told herself.
Alyx listened as Israel’s breath deepened until she was sure he was sleep. Only then did she garner enough courage to roll on her back, where she was more comfortable. Israel was also on his back, his face turned towards her. Asleep, his features were softened and he looked at peace. His jaw slackened, causing his bottom lip to pout, his long lashes shaded over his cheeks and his scar. That scar. Her fingers itched to touch it. Did she dare?
Alyx tore her eyes away from him and forced herself not to look back. Above her the ceiling was painted with wisps of clouds, a full moon and an angel flying across the stars. She had seen this very ceiling out of Israel’s eyes. It was strange to think she was now seeing it through her own.
That night, for the first night in a long time, Israel didn’t have the nightmares.
* * *
The next day, Alyx and Israel sat on a small blanket on the small flat space out on the roof of the theater; between them was a small collection of bread, cheese, meat and fruit bought from a local market. The roof overlooked a crumbling industrial area, named West End because of its position on a long, jutting bend of the Saint Joseph River, like a finger pointing towards the setting sun.
Alyx was telling Israel about the Seraphim. “The Elders are the ones who existed Before. On the day it all changed, Between, the Elders were all summoned to Earth. They realized too late that it had been a trick. All of the celestial gates were locked behind them and they found themselves trapped on Earth. Lucifer had conjured up some kind of black magic, a magic that the Elders had never seen before. His magic didn’t work as he planned, though. He succeeded in locking the gates between this world and the Hell realm as well, so the demons were locked out. That was over two thousand years ago.”
“So you’ve been alive for over two thousand years?”
Alyx shook her head. “I was Earthborn eighteen winters ago.”
“How is that even possible?”
“We exist in physical bodies here. They work just like your bodies do, so we’re able to...” At that moment Alyx and Israel reached for the same apple and their fingers brushed. Their eyes met and she stopped breathing. A warm flush spread through her body from where he had touched her. She was sure that her whole body was blushing, bold and loud like the apple she had been reaching for.
“Sorry,” they both mumbled.
“You take it,” Israel said.
“Only if you’re...”
“You have it.”
“Sure. Thanks.” Alyx picked up the apple and nibbled at it, keeping her eyes averted from Israel, looking anywhere but at him.
He cleared his throat. “So, why hasn’t God just opened the gates? Surely He has the power to?”
That was a good question. One that Alyx herself had asked Elder Bezebel years ago during a lecture on the Seraphim history of Before. The lecture hall had erupted with noise and Elder Bezebel, an AirWhisperer, had to use her magic to whirl everything into silence and bring the class back to order. “It is not our duty to question,” Elder Bezebel had said. “Remember, ‘time’ is only a concept of physical worlds including this one. A thousand years may pass on this planet and it would mean nothing to Him on the Otherside. Besides, He has an infinite number of worlds to preside over.” Elder Bezebel had not allowed any more discussion on the matter.
“I don’t know,” Alyx said to Israel. “The Elders can’t say.”
“So either He can and doesn’t want to or He wants to but can’t.”
“Or He is just another lie.”
Israel sat back and took a deep breath. “I don’t know which scenario I think is worse.”
Thinking of the Elders, Alyx was reminded of the danger that they were both in. “Saint Joseph isn’t safe anymore. We have to leave right after we eat. We can find a−”
“I’m not leaving.”
“The Elders have put a price on my head. This puts you in danger. Saint Joseph is the closest mortal city to Michaelea. Even on a quiet night this place is crawling with warriors. If we stay here, it’s only a matter of time until they find us.”
“I can’t leave. Not yet.”
“What is so damn important that you have to stay here?”
“There’s a Darkened I’m looking for.”
It suddenly made sense. “‘Adere’ is a message for the Darkened you’re looking for. Something only they would know. Why? To draw them out?”
Israel looked away.
“Hey,” Alyx grasped his arm, forcing him to look at her. “I can help you, but you have to trust me.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone to trust,” he said bitterly.
“And I just found out I was betrayed by almost everyone I cared about. So where does that leave us? Shall we sit here and dwell in our misery forever?”
Israel didn’t answer. He seemed to be mulling this over.
“I’m your Guardian now, Israel,” she added. “Your safety is my only responsibility. You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”
They sat in silence on the rooftop. Alyx stared out at the river sparkling in the morning sun. To survive in life you had to be like that river, she thought. No matter what, you had to keep going.
“Adere isn’t a message,” Israel said finally. “Adere is the one I’m looking for.”
“Adere is a Darkened?”
“She is…was…a friend. At one point she was my only friend. We had this fight, this stupid fight, and a demon took her body.” His features fractured, his pain obvious. “It was my fault. I let it happen. I didn’t realize they were so close to getting her to turn. They were trying to get to me through her, and now she’s a prisoner in her own body because of me. I have to make it right.”
“And she’s still in Saint Joseph?”
“She was born and raised here. She has never left the city in her whole life. She doesn’t know anywhere else.”
“She may not have left, but that doesn’t mean the demon that now possesses her won’t.”
Israel shook his head. “I know her. She’d still be here.”
Adere isn’t Adere anymore. Alyx kept this thought to herself. “When you find her?”
“If I can’t change her back as you said, then...” he paused to swallow, “then I have to...set her free. It would be what she would want.”
“I understand, but it’s not safe here in Saint Joseph at the moment. I can help you find her when it’s safer.”
His laughed, brisk and without humor. “It’ll never be safer for me anywhere. I’m staying here until I find her. Then I’ll go wherever you want me to. It’s up to you whether you want to help me or run away.”
“I’m not running away.”
“Whatever.”
Something about his reckless attitude frightened her. How could he be so flippant about his own life? Especially being mortal. So fragile, so hard to heal, so easy to kill. Even if he survived the Darkened he would still one day die. Was it easier to risk death when it was inevitable anyway?
Israel was prepared to risk everything to save the soul of someone he cared about. She would have to risk everything for him.
If he dies, I die.
Chapter 22
The knock on his door thundered like an enemy cannon. Mayrekk jolted, looking up from his mortal book. Who would be visiting him? His blinds were drawn so he couldn’t see who it was through his windows. Mayrekk hid the book in a nearby drawer and walked towards the door as it hammered again.
