by Hanna Peach
His lips closed over hers, capturing the gasp of surprise that tried to escape. He moved his mouth against her, slowly at first. Then he dragged his tongue against her bottom lip. It made Alyx’s lip tingle and made her feel warm, but it wasn’t the fireworks and the total consumption that Israel had made her feel.
Israel. She was kissing this seraph, this gorgeous seraph, who wanted her and was a wonderful kisser, and yet she was thinking of Israel. Stupid mind. Stupid heart.
Jordan pulled back, obviously aware of her distraction, his eyes now open and on her. He watched her, studying her. It went on for so long that Alyx just had to fill the silence. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”
Jordan brushed strands of hair from her forehead, then he traced down her cheek, down to her jaw and wrapped his fingers around the back of her neck. “I’m not going to push, Alyx. You’re in control, okay?”
“I don’t know,” Alyx said lamely.
Jordan pulled his hand off her and glanced towards the horizon. “The night is running away from us. You should get some sleep.”
And with that he took off towards the house, leaving Alyx alone, trying desperately to make sense of what just happened.
* * *
Alyx landed at the window of her room at Aradale. She pushed one leg through the curtains and began to pull the rest of herself through.
“Where have you been?”
Alyx jolted. Then she saw his familiar outline sitting at the end of her bed, staring at the floor. “Israel. What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” His voice was stilted and curt. “I wanted to apologize to you for jumping to conclusions about you and that Rogue. I didn’t see you at dinner so I came to your room after I heard you come in. I saw you weren’t here and that the window was open. So I waited.” He lifted his chin up to glare at her. “Where were you?”
“I was out.”
“With him?”
“His name is Jordan. And it’s not what you’re thinking, although even if it was you would have no right to be angry. We were following up on some information that Jordan had.”
“I thought we were in this together? Isn’t that what we said?”
“Israel, I didn’t tell you where we went because you’d want to come. It was too dangerous for you.”
“So you leave me again?”
Alyx growled in exasperation. Why didn’t he understand this? She was trying to keep him safe. “Jesus, Israel, this isn’t a game anymore. We’re talking about real demons, real Hell-creatures, real danger.”
“Yeh, well... I kept myself alive before you ever showed up. I can do it again.” Israel stood up; even the mattress seemed to ripple with his anger.
“Where are you going?”
“To bed. I stayed up, worrying, waiting for you to come back. Now you’re back so I’m going to bed.”
When he left he didn’t look back.
Dear Yael,
I saw you.
You were with our old flock. You passed by so close but you didn’t see me. At least I now know that you are alive and not being tortured.
You were laughing with them.
What have they done to you? Why do you not come to me?
Your love,
Siana
Chapter 9
The next morning, Alyx took her breakfast out on the same balcony where she and Jordan had had dinner last night. She didn’t want to see either Jordan or Israel, so her surprise was visible when she thought she heard both their voices below. Her half-eaten breakfast forgotten, Alyx peered over the balcony into the courtyard, which was partly hidden by the leaves of a large tree that grew next to the building. It was them.
Jordan and Israel walked further into the courtyard and out of earshot, but Alyx could still see them. She continued watching them for a few minutes. Jordan appeared to be training Israel on how to block DreamWalker magic.
“What’s so interesting?” A female voice made Alyx jump. She turned to see Ana stepping through the door onto the balcony. “I’m sorry if I startled you. I didn’t mean to.” All the wariness from their initial meeting yesterday seemed to have gone.
“That’s okay. I’m just a bit jumpy. I didn’t get much sleep.”
Ana moved to the balcony next to where Alyx stood and followed her gaze. “Oh. I see.”
Alyx flushed. She was about to make up some excuse about why she was watching Israel when Ana spoke again.
“I’ve known Jordan a long time. He cares about you, you know.”
Alyx closed her mouth. Ana thought that she had been watching Jordan. Still embarrassing, but Alyx didn’t move to correct her. “I know.”
“He talks about you.”
“Oh?”
“He could make you happy.”
Alyx was silent.
“And you’ll miss out on a good thing in Jordan if you don’t get over wanting the impossible with Israel.”
Alyx felt like a current had gone through her. “I don’t want anything with Israel.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, Alyx. I recognize it in you.” Ana smiled, soft, sorrowful. “I was in love once, deeply and desperately. He was brash and bold and brave. And impossible for me to be with.”
“Why?”
“He was a lightwarrior of Michaelea and I was a Castus.” Ana leaned over the balcony, staring at the grass below and twisting her fingers. A soft breeze had started brushing her hair across her cheeks, bringing a sweet smell of flowers. “We were to leave together, he and I. So we could be together. But...something happened. I left Michaelea but he didn’t follow me.”
Alyx felt that she had heard this story before. “What was his name?”
“Yael.”
Alyx gasped. “You’re Siana.”
It was Ana’s turn to be surprised. “No one’s called me Siana in a long time. How did you know?”
“I found your letters at Tara.”
“Of course.” Ana smiled wistfully. “That was a long time ago. My point is, if I hadn’t given Lukas a chance, if I had continued hanging onto an impossible love, then I wouldn’t have what I have today.”
Ana gave Israel and Jordan one last look before pushing away from the handrail. “Think about what I said.”
Ana left Alyx alone with her thoughts.
Alyx watched Jordan and Israel again. Jordan was the logical choice. To be with Jordan made sense. But Israel...even now as she watched him standing off against Jordan, her heart seemed to beat for him. Is-rael, Is-rael, it seemed to say. But he wasn’t the right choice, was he? A mortal and a Seraphim. It was an impossible love. But her heart didn’t seem to care about this.
Foolish heart. Why wouldn’t it behave? Why wouldn’t it just want what it should want? Instead of what it shouldn’t.
* * *
Later that day, Jordan was waiting for Alyx at the entrance of the dining hall to escort her to lunch. He carried both their plates as they made their way over to the two spare chairs in front of Lukas and Ana. Alyx found herself scanning the faces in the dining hall for Israel’s. But he wasn’t to be seen. Alyx scolded herself for even looking and instructed herself not to look for him again.
The conversation over lunch was mainly Jordan and Lukas rehashing their adventures together for Alyx’s benefit. Lukas teased Jordan more than once, and Alyx soon found herself smiling. She noticed every time Jordan touched her arm.
Alyx made it a point to watch Ana and Lukas. She caught a few private looks between them and she soon decided that they really were happy together. Perhaps she and Jordan could be, too?
But Alyx couldn’t stop her gaze from sliding over to the entrance to the dining hall; she noticed Israel as soon as he appeared. Her body tensed. She froze when she realized he was coming straight for her with a tortured look on his face. He wouldn’t dare make a scene in front of everyone, would he? Oh God, of course he would.
Alyx was standing even before he reached them. “You have no right to be−”
“Alyx, stop. You need to come to Tobias’s office. Now.”
Tobias’s office. Why just her? Had the swallows returned? Had there been news of...her mother? Alyx mumbled her apologies to the others at the table as she tripped out of her seat. She barely felt Jordan grabbing her arm to steady her and barely registered him saying, “I’m coming with you.”
She couldn’t remember how she had gotten to Tobias’s office. All of a sudden, it seemed, she was seated in front of Tobias with Israel and Jordan on either side of her. Alyx felt numb, like she was watching life through a glass bubble.
Tobias’s face was grim as he looked at her from across the table. “I’m sorry to drag you in like this. But I wanted to tell you first without a crowd here.”
Alyx nodded but she didn’t speak. The blood rushing through her ears was so loud she could barely hear Tobias speaking. Whatever it was, it wasn’t good news. She gripped her hands together in her lap and braced herself.
“They found another body, this time in Remembrance Park…with your name written across the stomach.”
This wasn’t news about her mother. Alyx felt relief and she felt sick at the same time. Her name. Her name had now also been branded a deathly signature.
“This time it was a lightwarrior,” Tobias continued. “I’m so sorry, Alyx. Israel told me that you were friends.”
Friends? Oh God, please no. When it sank in, it felt like a weighted anchor was crushing her chest. Someone she cared about had been killed. With every breath she took, her lungs seemed to swell red and painful at the possibilities of who it could be.
“Who...?” was all she could choke out before her throat closed up.
“I’m so sorry, Alyx,” Tobias repeated. “If you need to talk to anyone afterwards you know we’re here for you.”
Alyx became aware of Jordan leaning forward and rubbing her arm, hushing softly at her as if she were a child. Alyx felt the anger well up in her. She wasn’t a child. She didn’t need coddling.
“Who was it?” she demanded through gritted teeth. Jordan and Tobias looked at each other, appearing to fear that her anger would explode when they told her the name.
She was close to screaming when Israel’s fingers found her gripped hands under the table. His touch was like a balm, calming her. He coaxed his fingers through hers. Then he squeezed her hand. I’m here. Like that, their fighting seemed to be forgotten. It seemed so unimportant now.
Tobias took a slow breath. “It was Elysia.”
The room spun. Sweet Elysia. Bubbly, excitable Elysia. Alyx remembered her first encounter with Elysia. They had been the only two seraphelle younglings in Symon’s flock at the time. This was enough to cause Elysia to bounce over to Alyx and claim her as her new best friend. Alyx had resisted at first, of course. But Elysia, with her bright plump face, her tight curls and her girlish voice that tripped and skittered as structureless as free-flow jazz, had persisted with Alyx. She had persisted even through Alyx’s dark moods and thick distrust.
That was until a day, several months later... Alyx had been cowering in the reeds of the Great Lake as two older lightwarrior bullies were fast approaching. She had been shocked when Elysia confronted them. With her coquettish giggles and desperately-long blinking eyelashes, Elysia had quelled the fire from the bullies. They had left Alyx alone that day, thanks to Elysia.
Elysia saved Alyx then. But Alyx couldn’t save her now.
In the crowded office space of Tobias’s room, Alyx gritted her teeth as if they could hold back the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She sent out a silent promise to Elysia, wherever she may be, that she would kill Samyara. Samyara and all his followers. Whatever it took, she would make him pay.
Chapter 10
“Don’t,” Israel commanded roughly from the shadows of one of the large gray pillars that marked the edge of the spacious back porch of Aradale Asylum.
Israel saw Jordan pause in his approach to Alyx, hovering between the threshold of the building and the rolling green lawn that dove down to the garden, then further into a set of darker trees.
Jordan, it seemed to Israel, never walked anywhere – he flew. Not like Alyx. But Israel suspected that Alyx made it a point to stay on the ground as much as possible around him. He wasn’t sure why. Seeing Jordan hover a few feet off the ground like that reminded Israel that, even though they looked like him, these creatures, these Seraphim, and most importantly...Alyx...were different from him.
For a moment Israel and Jordan both stood watching the lone figure of a petite but fierce warrior taking out her pain and anger in a series of katas, two blades slashing at the unfortunate leaves that hung too low from the large trees above her.
“She is upset. She needs comfort,” Jordan said, and the fingers of his right hand twitched. “She needs...rest.”
“You want to knock her out, don’t you?” Israel said with realization. “Don’t you dare. She won’t stand for it.”
Jordan snapped his head towards Israel, his green eyes blazing. “You will have her wear herself out through this pointless display instead?”
“It’s how she copes. It’s what she needs. She’ll be better once she gets it out.”
“You think you know what she needs, boy?”
Israel bristled at being called “boy”. He pulled himself up to full height. “I know her. You don’t. So don’t pretend to.”
Jordan let out a curt laugh and a smirk pulled at his lips. “Your crush is pointless, boy.”
There was that boy again. If he said it one more time, Israel was going to mess up that pretty-boy face.
“It’s not a crush.”
“How old are you? Twenty? Twenty-one?”
“I’m old enough.”
“I have lived far longer than you.” Jordan turned, eyeing Alyx off in the distance again, his voice taking on a dismissive authority that made Israel fume. “I’ve had much, much more experience with women. I think I know what she needs.”
“If you make another move towards her, I won’t hesitate to take a swing at you, magic or not. Thanks to your training, I’m pretty sure that I’ll get in at least two good hits and one loud enough yell to bring Alyx over before your DreamWalker knocks me out. The second I wake I’ll let her know that you planned on knocking her out like a helpless pup. We’ll see how well your new friendship will survive that.”
A low growl came from Jordan’s throat. Israel could see the frown marring Jordan’s clean profile, his hair swept away from his face and tied at the base of his neck in a short ponytail. Jordan swung around to face Israel. Even though Israel was slightly taller than Jordan, Jordan now hovered far enough off the ground to tower over him. “What will you have me do instead?”
Israel spoke again; this time his voice was softer. “She just needs to be left alone for a little bit longer. I promise, she’ll feel better after she has gotten it out. I can keep an eye on her.”
The Rogue was silent. Apart from the crease that remained at his brows, there was no other sign of emotion on his face. Nothing behind his eyes, just a cool unemotive facade. Israel couldn’t tell what this Rogue was thinking.
“If you’re wrong and that doesn’t help her, or if she hurts herself or does something stupid, you will answer to me.” Jordan gave Israel one last hard look, then swept back into Aradale.
Israel let go of the breath that he didn’t realize he had been holding, and he sank back into the shadows to keep watch over Alyx’s fighting form.
* * *
Out on the back grounds of Aradale, Alyx threw down her swords so that they stuck up out of the ground. Her arms had that pleasant ache from working the swords. But her legs could still take more. She began to move without weapons in an unarmed kata, a series of fighting movements using just her body. The katas were Symon’s basics. They always calmed her when she wasn’t feeling right. And right now she wasn’t feeling right.
As a warrior under the command of the Elders, Alyx had always just accepted that she would die performing h
er duty. Death, although sad, was just part of a warrior’s life. It was part of their function. But now...with everything she had learned, with everything she now thought, death felt pointless. It felt unfair and real.
She wondered how Symon was taking Elysia’s death. Or Xavier. Or Lutando. She wondered what they thought when they found out that it was Alyx’s name written on Elysia’s stomach. She wondered if they would ever forgive her.
“You can come out, now,” Alyx said without pausing. She had felt his eyes on her even as she had begun her katas. “I know you’re there.”
She heard a small grumble, then a rustle of bushes as her watcher stepped forward.
“How did you know?” Ky said, his hands in his pockets.
“I could hear you. Has no one ever taught you to move silently?”
“No. No one teaches me anything cool. I’m too young.”
Too young? What a strange concept.
“How old are you?”
“Twelve winters,” he said proudly.
“I was already training at your age.” Alyx frowned. It really was so irresponsible to leave this youngling untrained. Alyx tilted her head towards the spot next to her. “Don’t I owe you a training lesson? Get in line, warrior.”
“Oh cool,” Ky said as he practically bounced into position.
“We’re going to go through some basics. First, this is your stance.”
Alyx took Ky through the basic stance, how to hold his hand properly in a fist, the basic unarmed combat movements and how to block each one.
Ky was a quick learner. He already had a naturally higher level of body awareness than most other Seraphim starting out. Probably because he was older than the youngling warriors were, she thought as she adjusted his arms.
They were just about through the lesson when a female voice rang out, “Get the hell away from my son.”
