by JA Huss
“She’s… good at what she does.”
“I can imagine. No clue, then?”
I shake my head. “But we have Donovan, you know. He’s been treating her this whole time. I don’t know if Angelica had a trigger word—”
“Fuck, no.”
“—but Indie does. Did. Maybe still does.” James just stares at me and I get nervous again. Not for me. But for Indie. Because he could… he could decide Indie has to go. He could decide she needs to be put down. He could decide this little family we’ve made over the past ten years is now over. “Donovan was training in PSYOPS… before. Ya know? And he’s good. He’s got it under control.”
James folds his arms across his chest, clearly not convinced.
I stand up, my drink untouched, needing this meeting to be over. “Thanks. I appreciate you coming all this way to talk to me. I need to get going now.”
He nods, but doesn’t get up or say anything.
So I turn and start walking.
But then he calls out, “Don’t forget about my first warning, Adam. That was not a suggestion. It was a command.”
I stop. And for a second I don’t understand what he’s talking about. But then I catch Misha’s eye across the room and remember.
Get rid of her.
James Fenici just told me to get rid of Misha.
“And listen,” he calls again. This time I look at him over my shoulder. “It’s a hard lesson to learn, but not everyone’s worth saving, Adam.”
I nod my head and then keep walking. Straight out of the bar. Right back to my truck. And then I drive all the way home trying to figure out how I’m gonna tell McKay that Indie is sick.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - McKAY
After Adam’s call I go inside to check up on Donovan and Indie. See how dinner’s coming. Let them know we can eat outside if they want.
They’re both in the kitchen. Donovan must’ve bought beer when he went to the grocery store because they are both holding green bottles in their hands. Indie is sitting on the kitchen island facing Donovan, who is leaning against the counter next to the stove.
Both of them are laughing when I walk in.
Indie sets her beer down, hops off the counter, and comes over to me, slipping her arms right around my waist as she leans into my chest.
I watch Donovan for a reaction. He meets my gaze and shrugs.
I grip Indie’s shoulders and push her back a little. “What was that for?”
“Just… you.” She glances at Donovan. “Both of you.” She looks back at me. “But I’ve hugged him already so it was your turn.”
Hugged him. Sure. “Is dinner ready?”
Donovan opens a cupboard, grabs four plates, and sets them down on the counter. “Just waiting on you. You wanna set the table, Indie?”
“My old job is still mine, I see.” But then she must count the plates because she lifts one of them up. “Are we expecting Adam?”
I say, “No,” just as Donovan says, “Maybe.”
“Which is it?”
I shake my head. “No. He texted me. He can’t make it.”
Indie makes a little pout face, something I have not seen her do in many years. “Well, that sucks.”
“I thought you wanted to kill him?”
“What? That’s crazy, McKay. What the hell is wrong with you?”
Donovan and I both glance at each other, eyebrows raised.
He breaks the silence first. “Go on, Indie. Set the table. We’ll bring out the food.”
“You guys just want to talk about me, don’t you?”
I ignore her and open the silverware drawer, grab enough for three people, and then close it with my hip and hand it all to Indie. “There you go.”
She smirks at me. “I can take a hint.” She leaves. I wait a second, then follow her to the front door and peek out to make sure she’s going to the pavilion.
Donovan is already behind me. “What did he say?”
“He said he’s not coming until she remembers what really happened that day.”
“How’s that gonna be helpful? We need him here when she remembers.”
“He knows that. He just doesn’t care.”
I turn to look at Donovan. He’s running his fingers through his dark hair. “Well, fuck. Now what?”
“I guess… I guess we lead her through it, Donovan. Have a session with her.”
“Hypnosis? Or just a regular one?”
I shrug. Because this isn’t my area. “Whatever you think is best.”
He lets out a long breath. And for a moment I get this sick feeling in my gut that he’s gonna refuse. That Donovan Couture has had just about enough of this little distraction called Indie, and he’s gonna wipe his hands and walk away.
I’m ready if he tries. I’m ready to block him. Talk sense into him.
But I don’t have to.
He nods. Sighs again. “OK. Then hypnosis. But we should eat first. Give me time to think about how to best handle this because it’s been a long time, McKay. I would never have called myself a PSYOPS expert, but it’s been a long time since I had to think about it.”
I am relieved and out of words so I say nothing. Just go back to the kitchen and start piling spaghetti into a large bowl while Donovan transfers marinara sauce and meatballs into another bowl.
He grabs some serving spoons, I grab the bread, and then we go outside.
And the minute I step into the pavilion it feels like the old days. Back before we knew she was sick. Back before that afternoon of her twentieth birthday when what we had was good, and innocent, and right.
But that’s wrong too.
Because nothing about this has ever been right.
We set everything on the table and eat.
But I’m not even here with them.
I’m back there.
On that day.
The day everything changed and nothing was ever the same again.
Indie was wearing a yellow party dress with a short fluffy skirt made of tulle or whatever you call that shit. That see-through gauzy fabric that always reminded me of ballerina outfits.
It was strapless and the bodice had little crystals woven into the lace around her breasts. Adam had it made for her. He always bought her a dress on her birthday.
This one was a little risqué for my tastes, but she was twenty. And a mother.
Twenty fucking years old. Finally. It felt like a milestone. Ten years we’d been taking care of this girl. Ten years she’d been running our lives. One decade. That’s something, right?
From the moment she stepped out of Adam’s truck to the moment she disappeared, everything at Old Home revolved around Indie Anna Accorsi.
I’m not gonna lie and say it was all good, because it wasn’t.
And I’m not gonna pretend any of it was easy, because it wasn’t.
But I would absolutely do it all again.
Nathan St. James came back into our lives that morning. He was home, I guess. Because one minute we were planning our day in the kitchen after breakfast and Maggie was dancing around like a little spinning top, very excited about something that involved a pony, and then there was a knock on the door.
All of us turned to peer towards the front of the house with curious looks. Who the hell was at our door?
We all went into the hallway, but Adam went ahead of us towards the foyer.
We could see him. The front door was open, so there was only a screen.
Nathan St. James. In the motherfucking flesh.
And then something really weird happened. Maggie said, “Nathan.” It was a distorted version of his name. Said the way only a small child could say it.
And the whole fucking place went quiet.
And then it went… unquiet.
Adam said, “What the fuck?”
And Donovan said, “Have you been talking to him this whole time?”
And I didn’t say shit. Because I could not find the right words.
Indie ignored all of th
at and just smiled. “Hello, Nathan. Come on in.”
Nathan had enough sense to not come in. Adam was standing at the door, blocking it.
But I had finally found my words. “Indie. Why is he here?” I said it in the calmest voice I could manage. But my heart was beating fast and furious. It was a jackhammer inside my chest. Fluttering and pounding so fast I couldn’t count the beats if I wanted to.
Indie looked at me like I was an idiot. “He’s her father, McKay. I told him he could see her today. He’s gonna bring her back tonight for cupcakes.”
“Yay!” Maggie was clapping her hands, jumping up and down like a little crazy person.
Donovan, and Adam, and I looked at each other like… Did you know about this?
And clearly, none of us had.
Indie gently nudged Adam out of the way of the door and opened it up. “Come in. I’ll get her dressed. Be right back.”
Then she picked Maggie up and took her upstairs.
Adam shot me one more look, then he and Donovan followed her up, leaving me alone with that little fucker from across the lake.
Did we have a say in this decision? I wasn’t sure. But I was sure that Indie didn’t seem to think we did, or she would not have pretended this wasn’t happening until it actually happened.
Nathan St. James was now a huge twenty-one-year-old man. I’m talking that boy must’ve been in the gym all day, every day for the past two years. That’s how big he was.
I was not small, either. Never have been. And I was certainly not afraid of throwing down with the fuckhead next door. But not while Maggie was here. And if Adam had wanted to get rid of Nathan with a fight, he would not have been upstairs trying to talk Indie out of… whatever the fuck this was.
Nathan and I both heard every word of what was happening up there.
Adam was saying, “What the hell? What the hell, Indie?”
Donovan was saying, “Are you out of your mind?”
Indie was saying, “Jesus Christ. It’s one day. Calm down.”
Maggie was saying, “I want to ride pony!”
Meanwhile, Nathan and I were just staring each other down like he was a Hatfield and I was a McCoy, which was not that far off the mark.
Finally, Nathan broke the ice. “Hey, McKay. How’s life been for ya?”
I morphed into some polite Southerner I did not even recognize. Because I replied, “Just fine, thank you. How about yourself?”
“Can’t complain much. But I hurt my knee in football last year and lost my scholarship. So I’m gonna sell the old place to cover tuition. That’s why I’m coming home this summer for break. I have to spruce it up a little before I put it on the market. The electrical is a big ol’ mess. I turned on the heater this morning, just to see if it was still working, and the damn thing caught fire.”
Again, I was out of sorts. Because I replied, “If you need any help with that, you let me know. I’m a fairly good electrician.”
He nodded his head at me. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”
But then I snapped out of it. “Where are you taking Maggie? Across the lake? To that fire trap?”
Nathan just… chuckled at me. “No. We’re going to the zoo in New Orleans. I can’t remember the last time I went to the zoo.”
Which spurred another pertinent comment from me. “When was the last time you saw Indie?”
He hesitated a little. I have often wondered if Nathan St. James understood who the girl next door really was. And it was during this short hesitation when I realized—he did. “She’s been coming to see me.”
“When?”
“The whole time, McKay. She would just show up at my dorm in Oxford out of the blue after Christmas that first year. And then I got a house with some of my football buddies and she’d show up there too. Even though I never told her I moved. I never asked her to come. But… McKay. You gotta know, I did love her. I’m sorry things… well, I’m sorry. That’s all. And I love Magnolia too—”
“Maggie,” I corrected him.
“Maggie. And then Indie started bringing her up to see me.”
“She did?”
“She did.”
“When?”
“I dunno. Every few months, I guess. Over the past year or so. And I knew I was gonna be back this summer to get the house ready for sale so… I took a chance and asked if I could spend a day with my daughter.”
“This day?”
“Today. That’s right.”
“It’s Indie’s birthday today.”
“I know. But she said this was the only day she could do it.”
Then it started to make a little bit of sense. Indie thought that because it was her birthday, none of us would make a fuss about this. But the sounds that were coming from upstairs said otherwise. Adam and Donovan were still having their say.
Suddenly nothing about this day was right. My head was fuckin’ foggy and Nathan’s words started to echo. But I managed to say, “The zoo, huh? Does Indie know you’re taking Maggie to the zoo?”
“Yes, sir. It was her idea.”
And that just didn’t make any sense to me. Because I knew for a fact that Indie hated the zoo. And she had just let us know that a few weeks prior, after she disappeared and came back, when Adam took Maggie to the zoo.
But there was no more time to question Nathan because everyone came bounding down the stairs. First Indie, holding Maggie in her arms, and then Adam and Donovan trailing behind her.
I looked Indie dead in the eyes and the room started to spin. “Are you sure about this?”
“Why wouldn’t I be sure? I told him he could have her for a day. He’s excited about it, McKay. And so is Maggie. He’s her father. He should know her.”
Donovan, Adam, and I all looked at each other like we just popped into some alternate realty by mistake. That was how much sense this made. And that was how I felt too. Like this wasn’t really happening. Like I was back in my bed, stuck in a dream.
But then Indie turned to Nathan. “Can you just give us a minute? I’ll bring her out to your truck.”
Nathan nodded his head at her, then me, and then left. Skipping down the porch steps like he didn’t give one fuck that his visit was causing all this trouble.
Adam slammed the front door. Not the screen door. The real front door. So it slammed good and hard. Then he turned to Indie with angry eyes. “What the fuck, Indie?”
“She’s been up there to Oxford to see him, Adam.” My words coming out a little bit slurred. “And she took Maggie. To see him.”
Indie set Maggie down and crossed her arms, defiant. “She’s my daughter.”
“And you belong to me.” Adam was seething. Maggie was already heading for the door.
“OK. Let’s just all calm down.”
But Adam turned to Donovan and his stupid rational words and pointed his finger in his face. “I will not calm down. We have no clue what kind of man Nathan St. James is these days. He’s been missing for two years. Maggie doesn’t even know him.”
Maggie was twisting the door handle, trying to open it. “I want to zoo. I want to ride pony.”
Which spurred me into favorite-uncle mode. “There are no ponies at the zoo, Mags. If you want to ride a pony, I’ll get you a pony. You can keep it here and ride it all over the woods.”
“McKay, are you on drugs?” Indie was incredulous. “What is wrong with you? We’re not getting a pony just so you can stop Nathan from seeing his daughter.”
I pointed my finger at her. “What is wrong with you?” But she was right. Because I knew there was something wrong with me.
“Indie.” Donovan was interrupting. “Did you go up to Oxford to see Nathan when you went missing?”
“I’ll be right back. You guys are making a huge deal out of nothing and ruining my plans for today.” And then Indie scooped up Maggie, opened the door, and walked out. Taking her daughter over to Nathan’s truck.
Adam looked at me, confused. “What plans?”
I jus
t shrugged.
We all went into the front room and peeked through the closed curtains at what was happening out in our driveway. Indie was still holding Maggie as Nathan messed with a car seat in the back cab of his truck.
I looked at Donovan. There were two of him. “Where did he get a car seat?”
Donovan didn’t answer.
And then Indie handed Maggie—our Maggie—over to Nathan so he could buckle her in the seat.
Adam stepped away from the curtain and started pacing the room, raking his fingers through his hair. He kept saying, “What the fuck is she doing? Why is she doing this? Something is wrong. Something is very wrong here.”
Donovan stepped back as well. But I could not take my eyes off Nathan and Maggie.
I felt sick. There was this feeling in my gut. This gross feeling that I had missed something here. Things were happening and I couldn’t make sense of them.
Donovan was talking. “Just… remain calm. We’ll figure it out.”
And then Indie was whooshing through the door with a big, bright smile on her face and both hands in the air like she was surrendering. “Just listen to me, you guys. God. You’re all a bunch of stupid men. I planned this so we could all have a day together. Just us. Like the old days. Remember them? How much fun we had? I’ve been stuck in this house for two years. I’m twenty. My childhood is over. And I want to have a day with you! All of you!”
Donovan was not buying one bit of this. “So let me get this straight. To celebrate the fact that you’re no longer a teenager, you just handed your child off to a stranger?”
But he was swaying back and forth a little as he talked. Or maybe that was me?
“He’s not a stranger, Donovan. Stop being stupid. He’s her father.”
Adam was shaking his head. “We are her fathers.”
Indie laughed. “You’re jealous.” She looked at all of us in turn. “That’s what this is about. Nathan St. James is the gentlest person I know.”
